AVOIDANCE CAN HAVE AN UPSIDE
There was a fascinating piece in the Opinion section of today's NY Times.  A scientist reports that, based on the scientific research he has done, sometimes for those suffering from anxiety about certain things, "avoidance" can be a good thing.  Here's an excerpt that gets at his thesis:

"As we’ve seen, people with social anxiety often cope with their problem by avoiding social situations altogether.  This is not practical or beneficial.  But neither is forcing oneself to show up at parties and just try to ride out the anxiety.  A more effective treatment approach might be to combine anxiety-producing exposure with strategies that allow one to gain control over the anxiety trigger cues.
Michael Rogan, who was a researcher in my lab when the active coping work was first being done, currently treats people with social anxiety. He suggests to his clients with social anxiety that they should, when at a party, identify strategies for temporary escape and avoidance (go into the bathroom, step outside to make a call), and also use previously learned relaxation techniques (controlled breathing, imagery, mindfulness), to “chill out.” In this way, as in the rat studies, behaviors that succeed in reducing anxiety are reinforced, and each subsequent social event is a bit more tolerable.
Once the person has learned to take action rather than simply react in the presence of anxiety-provoking cues, the cues become irrelevant, as they did for the rats.  Rogan says that people who learn to control anxiety triggers in this way, like our rats, do much better than those who don’t."

You can read the entire article here. 

They call this "proactive avoidance."  It makes sense, and really I think many of us with Moebius Syndrome do this every day.  In this sense:  yes, of course, certain situations can be very anxiety-inducing.  We look a little different.  We sound different.  So going to parties where we don't know a soul, or just meeting new people, can be stressful.

But of course the answer isn't to hide in your house for the rest of your life.  Yet you can still, proactively, avoid certain negative situations.  For example:  driving can be stressful.  Yet we need to be able to drive in order to function well in society.  Yet it can be hard to see everything; a specific example--it can be a bit hard to switch lanes (let's say).  So--let's say you're on a road you know, and you KNOW you're going to have to eventually turn right in order to get to your destination.  So, simple--get in the right lane as early as you can, even if it's moving a tad slower.  That way, you avoid potential problems.

Or:  say you have to go out to dinner with people who are important to you.  Of course, that can be a challenge--it's hard for us to close our mouths when we chew, we worry about appearing messy, etc.  Easy:  just be sure and order something that you know you can eat easily and without much mess.  (Maybe you won't want to order a big plate of spaghetti!)  Eat slowly; use your napkin a lot; etc.  Avoid trouble.

The key is, we're not hiding, but we're taking steps on our own (being "proactive") in order to avoid trouble.  It works.  We do it all the time!

"There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.” --John Lennon