ONE WAY TO ANSWER QUESTIONS CONCERNING YOUR SPECIAL NEEDS CHILD
A mother, whose son has cerebral palsy, tries to answer all of the kinds of questions friends and acquaintances have concerning her special-needs child.  I'll bet many of you Moebius moms and dads out there will be interested in her take on these--and will be able riff off of these and add some thoughts of your own, when you face your own questions:
"I know that other parents have questions about my son, Max, who has cerebral palsy. I can see it in their eyes when they look at him, I notice the stares from strangers. So recently, I asked some friends to tell me the pressing—even nosy—questions they have about kids with special needs. These are my answers; I hope you’ll share your own.
What’s the proper term to refer to special needs kids?
Many people in the special needs community prefer “people first” language—you put the person before the disability. So you’d say “a child with autism” instead of “an autistic child” or “kids with special needs” instead of “special needs kids.” You are also free to refer to them as witty, charming and brilliant, of course.
What should I tell my kid about your kid if they ask about his issues?
One good general explanation is, “His brain works a little differently than yours does. So it may take him more time to do things, or he may do things differently. But in many ways, he’s just like you—he’s a kid who loves to play, laugh and have fun.” It would be great if you could suggest that your child ask my child about favorite stuff. For example, “I love chocolate-chip ice-cream, what’s your favorite?” or “My favorite movie is Cars 2, what’s yours?” Anything that starts conversations, great.
Do you mind questions? Do they offend you?
It depends! For example, saying “What’s wrong with him?” is rude, especially if we’ve just met. But if I strike up a conversation with a stranger, I don’t mind answering questions. In fact, I’m glad to help inform other parents about my son’s special needs—and about kids with special needs in general.
What would you suggest I say if my little kid says, loudly, “Mommy, what’s wrong with that boy?” or “Why’s he like that?”
Rather than shushing your child and whisking him away, as I’ve seen some parents do, perhaps you can say, “Why don’t we go over and say hello?” Then have a talk in private when you get home (see above, “What should I tell my kid?”).
At my little girl’s camp, there are two boys in wheelchairs. She thinks it’s unfair that the counselors let them “win” all the games—meaning, even if they get out, the counselors stay in the game anyway. What am I supposed to say?
I think those counselors actually should be treating those kids like others. Meanwhile, I think you can tell your daughter that it takes those kids a little extra time to play the game, and so the counselors allow them to stay in the game longer—not to win, but just so they get to enjoy it.
Can your kid come over for a playdate?
My son would absolutely love that. He doesn’t have many friends who don’t have disabilities. Depending on the child’s special needs, a playdate may not be the kind your child is used to—but you can discuss that in advance with the parents, and maybe let your child know ahead of time about anything important. Trust me, his or her parents will let you know—but you should also feel free to ask."

Great stuff!  Hat tip to---my wife Lisa!  Who found that for me...

"Some people succeed because they are destined to, but most
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