BRAIN TALK DEPT
Because we with Moebius Syndrome--a syndrome that has to do with, at least in part, after all, a couple of nerves to and from the brain that don't quite work as expected--always want to know how we can strengthen our brains, help our brains, know what's affecting our brains.  Today:  city living can cause "brain fatigue", experts have found.  But there are things you can do to deal with it:

"Scientists have known for some time that the human brain’s ability to stay calm and focused is limited and can be overwhelmed by the constant noise and hectic, jangling demands of city living, sometimes resulting in a condition informally known as brain fatigue.
With brain fatigue, you are easily distracted, forgetful and mentally flighty — or, in other words, me.
But an innovative new study from Scotland suggests that you can ease brain fatigue simply by strolling through a leafy park.
The idea that visiting green spaces like parks or tree-filled plazas lessens stress and improves concentration is not new. Researchers have long theorized that green spaces are calming, requiring less of our so-called directed mental attention than busy, urban streets do. Instead, natural settings invoke “soft fascination,” a beguiling term for quiet contemplation, during which directed attention is barely called upon and the brain can reset those overstretched resources and reduce mental fatigue.
But this theory, while agreeable, has been difficult to put to the test. Previous studies have found that people who live near trees and parks have lower levels of cortisol, a stress hormone, in their saliva than those who live primarily amid concrete, and that children with attention deficits tend to concentrate and perform better on cognitive tests after walking through parks or arboretums. More directly, scientists have brought volunteers into a lab, attached electrodes to their heads and shown them photographs of natural or urban scenes, and found that the brain wave readouts show that the volunteers are more calm and meditative when they view the natural scenes.
But it had not been possible to study the brains of people while they were actually outside, moving through the city and the parks. Or it wasn’t, until the recent development of a lightweight, portable version of the electroencephalogram, a technology that studies brain wave patterns.
For the new study, published this month in The British Journal of Sports Medicine, researchers at Heriot-Watt University in Edinburgh and the University of Edinburgh attached these new, portable EEGs to the scalps of 12 healthy young adults. The electrodes, hidden unobtrusively beneath an ordinary looking fabric cap, sent brain wave readings wirelessly to a laptop carried in a backpack by each volunteer.
The researchers, who had been studying the cognitive impacts of green spaces for some time, then sent each volunteer out on a short walk of about a mile and half that wound through three different sections of Edinburgh.
The first half mile or so took walkers through an older, historic shopping district, with fine, old buildings and plenty of pedestrians on the sidewalk, but only light vehicle traffic.
The walkers then moved onto a path that led through a park-like setting for another half mile.
Finally, they ended their walk strolling through a busy, commercial district, with heavy automobile traffic and concrete buildings.
The walkers had been told to move at their own speed, not to rush or dawdle. Most finished the walk in about 25 minutes.
Throughout that time, the portable EEGs on their heads continued to feed information about brain wave patterns to the laptops they carried.
Afterward, the researchers compared the read-outs, looking for wave patterns that they felt were related to measures of frustration, directed attention (which they called “engagement”), mental arousal and meditativeness or calm.
What they found confirmed the idea that green spaces lessen brain fatigue.
When the volunteers made their way through the urbanized, busy areas, particularly the heavily trafficked commercial district at the end of their walk, their brain wave patterns consistently showed that they were more aroused, attentive and frustrated than when they walked through the parkland, where brain-wave readings became more meditative.
While traveling through the park, the walkers were mentally quieter.
Which is not to say that they weren’t paying attention, said Jenny Roe, a professor in the School of the Built Environment at Heriot-Watt University, who oversaw the study. “Natural environments still engage” the brain, she said, but the attention demanded “is effortless. It’s called involuntary attention in psychology. It holds our attention while at the same time allowing scope for reflection,” and providing a palliative to the nonstop attentional demands of typical, city streets.
Of course, her study was small, more of a pilot study of the nifty new, portable EEG technology than a definitive examination of the cognitive effects of seeing green.
But even so, she said, the findings were consistent and strong and, from the viewpoint of those of us over-engaged in attention-hogging urban lives, valuable. The study suggests that, right about now, you should consider “taking a break from work,” Dr. Roe said, and “going for a walk in a green space or just sitting, or even viewing green spaces from your office window.” This is not unproductive lollygagging, Dr. Roe helpfully assured us. “It is likely to have a restorative effect and help with attention fatigue and stress recovery.”

“I have learned to live my life one step, one breath, and one moment at a time, but it was a long road. I set out on a journey of love, seeking truth, peace and understanding. I am still learning.”--Muhammad Ali

FROM THE I-JUST-THOUGHT-THIS-WAS-INTERESTING DEPT
And because I know how many of my Moebius friends--and now me too--love that good cup of coffee (or many cups) in the morning:
"Long-haul truck drivers who drink coffee or other caffeinated drinks are significantly less likely to have an accident than their uncaffeinated peers.
Australian researchers looked at data on 530 drivers recently involved in a crash, comparing them with 517 who had not had an accident within the past 12 months. All were driving tractor units with one, two or three trailers.
The researchers interviewed all the drivers, gathering information about various health and lifestyle issues, including caffeine consumption over the past month. The study was published online in BMJ.
After adjusting for age, driver experience, distance driven, hours of sleep, naps, night driving and other factors, they found that drivers who consumed caffeine were 63 percent less likely to be involved in a crash.
According to the lead author, Lisa N. Sharwood, a research fellow at the George Institute for Global Health in Sydney, Australia, this does not mean that caffeinated drinks are the answer for road safety.
“Clearly drivers are using caffeinated substances to help them stay awake,” she said. “While this may be useful for a period of time, it should really be seen as part of drivers’ overall fatigue and health management in a quite dangerous industry. It isn’t sustainable to go without sleep. But caffeine is useful as part of a wider strategy.”

PEOPLE BEING, WELL, AMBIVALENT (to say the least)

So a FB friend of mine who has Moebius Syndrome today raised a really good question:  have others of us with Moebius Syndrome noticed that, in public places and elsewhere, "normal" people (and of course especially children) will be reluctant to come sit near us, will stare in rather obvious ways, etc.  She told the story of one woman who stared at her for a full minute in a coffee shop before departing.  So my friend wondered:  does this happen to the rest of us?

Well, and of course it absolutely does.  But let's break this down a little bit, because this can happen in different ways.  First, of course, there's the very obvious. open staring.  Younger children can be especially guilty of this; but sometimes adults do it too.  I really think this kind of thing can come from several different factors.  Young children of course just don't know any better.  When it comes to adults, though...I think:  1] some lead very sheltered lives.  They just can't believe or understand how there can be those with physical differences out there.  (Maybe I'm being kind in suggesting such folks have been "sheltered"; maybe some of them are just ignorant.)   Other adults are very obsessed with appearances and how they look; they are desperate to be accepted by others, to fit in.  Therefore those with physical differences make them very uncomfortable.  Their world isn't, and/or may not always be, the way they'd like it to be; they can't deal.

But you know, this ambivalence doesn't always express itself in such obvious ways, like staring and other ways of shunning.  Sometimes it manifests itself in more hidden, subtle ways.  I know both my wife and I have noticed this.  For example:  maybe you're at a party, or a gathering, or a function, or somehow out in public.  Maybe you're around people who are not your friends, exactly, but they're people who know you, be it from your job, your nieghborhood, their kids go to school with your kids, etc.  But maybe some of you with Moebius have noticed:  even at such gatherings--hey, you're not a stranger, you're not a man from the moon; yes, you have Moebius, but everyone there has seen you before and should be familiar with it--people often don't take the initiative and talk to you.  They often don't approach you on their own.  They'll talk to you if you are the one approaching them; but otherwise, no.

In other words, seems like, sometimes, even when you're not among strangers, if you have Moebius, you're still the stranger.  Cuz hey, for some people, we still look different, and our speech is still a little different, and that's something they have a hard time getting past.

Thank goodness our friends don't have a hard time with that; so hold your friends and all those who've accepted you real close; I guess that's the moral of the story.  Am I on to something here?  Do I exaggerate?  What do others of you think?  Share! :+)

NCAA TOURNAMENT UPSET PICKS?

Well, I always try to pick the NCAA basketball tournament and see how I can do in picking upsets.  Usually though I get slaughtered like everyone else.  Here are the upsets I picked in the first round games, some of which are done and some of which go on as we speak, or will go on tonight:

I picked 9 seed Missouri to beat Colorado State.  WRONG (ugh!)  Colorado State won.

I picked 11 seed St. Mary's to upset Memphis.  WRONG again.

I picked 14 seed Harvard to upset 3 seed New Mexico.  RIGHT!  (how about that!)

I pick 9 seed Villanova to upset 8 seed North Carolina.  Still to be played (I think Villanova's experience will help them).

I pick 11 seed Minnesota to upset 6 seed UCLA.  Still to be played (Minnesota has struggled down the stretch, but I think a new, fresh start in the tourney will help them).

I picked 11 seed Bucknell to beat 6 seed Butler.  WRONG!

Otherwise, in all other games, I'm picking the higher seeded team to win.

My Final Four is:  Michigan State, Ohio State, Miami, and Georgetown.

Overall right now I'm only 11-7; I failed to pick winners Oregon, Wichita State, Ole Miss, and Cal, in addition to what I missed above.  So don't count on my final four picks being too accurate! :+)  Maybe in games later today I'll improve.  Hope springs eternal...

DOES SOCIAL MEDIA STRESS YOU OUT?
This particular piece addresses this question to teenagers--and while that's an important question, I think this question is something everyone should think about.  As we all know, many of us involved with Moebius Syndrome--both those of us who have it, and our family and friends--are on social media sites.  In many ways this has been a great thing.  We've been able to establish a caring network of people, who can lend love and support to all connected with Moebius.  But the online community can bring problems, too.  Do any of these affect you?  What can be done about them?  Read on and see what you think:

"For most teens, social media is an important part of their daily lives – but for some – sites like Facebook and Twitter can be a source of anxiety.

Dr. Manny Alvarez, senior managing health editor of FoxNews.com recently sat down with mental health consultant, Stefanie Weiss to talk about how social media is causing anxiety in kids and what parents to can do to help.
“I think kids base their self-worth today on how many followers they have, how many likes they're getting on their pictures or what comments they're getting from friends or not getting from other people that they wish that they did,” Weiss said.
Weiss said there are many ways social media can cause anxiety in kids and teens:
1) How many followers they have on networks like Instagram, Facebook and Twitter can cause a great deal of anxiety and insecurity. Often, it’s more about quantity - not quality when it comes to how many likes, friends, comments, and followers kids have.
They are constantly thinking: ‘Why does my friend have more followers than I do?’ ... ‘What can I do to get more followers?’ ... ‘What is wrong with me that I don't have enough people following me?’  It leaves teens with feelings of depression and rejection. This is starting in the elementary school level today and only increasing as they get older.
2) I posted something and I can't take it back.  This is a BIG one.  Teens don't understand the repercussions of poor choices they make online.  A negative comment, a question they wish they never asked can't be taken back. Adolescence and teen years are a time of exploration -- a time when they are deciding how they want people to perceive them.  One wrong move online, like an inappropriate picture, can cause a great deal of backlash from their peers and their parents. The angst they feel knowing that it’s "out there" for all to see can leave them full of regret.
3) Going viral: A picture, a video, anything inappropriate can spread like wild fire!  The peer pressure kids are facing to be funnier, racier, and more daring causes them to feel anxious about making the "right" decision.
4) Worrying if your parents will find out what you are up to is taken to a whole different level.  Did I delete my conversation on my phone?  Did my mom see what my boyfriend just texted me?  Will my friend post the picture of us even though I told her not to? These are all worries kids are feeling on a daily basis when it comes to managing their social media profiles.
Weiss said the best thing parents can do is open the lines of communication with their teens.
“First of all, parents need to check what their kids are doing,” Weiss said. “When I'm working with parents, I will say to them 'You're better off just being honest having that communication with your children to say 'I'm going to check what you're doing, and I want you to know that schools check.'”

"When it comes time to die, let us not discover that we have never lived."--Henry David Thoreau

AUTISM UPDATE
Autism is something that is sometimes--though by no means always--associated with Moebius Syndrome.  Perhaps in the population at large, more children have it than was previously thought:

"The number of children with autism is "significantly" higher than previously thought, according to a new report released by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

School-aged boys were four times more likely to have an autism spectrum disorder (ASD) diagnosis than girls, according to the new data.
The CDC released a report a year ago estimating 1 in 88 American children has a form of autism spectrum disorder - neurodevelopmental disorders that lead to impaired language, communication and social skills.  The report looked at medical and educational records of all 8-year-olds living in 14 areas of the United States during 2008.
This new report is drawn from answers given by parents of children between the ages of 6 and 17 in a telephone survey.  Based on the answers provided by parents who chose to answer questions, the survey suggests that 1 in 50 school-aged children have autism.
The research
The CDC's National Center for Health Statistics conducted the survey between February 2011 and June 2012.  When the topic of autism was raised, the family member was asked if they had ever been told by a doctor or other health care provider that their child had any form of autism. If the answer was yes, they were asked if the child currently had autism.  If the answer to that question was also yes, then the parent or guardian was asked if the autism diagnosis was "mild," "moderate" or "severe."
The findings
"The new data does suggest that the number of children with autism is higher than we had estimated four years ago. This will have implications for health care providers and school systems," says Stephen Blumberg, a health scientist with CDC′s National Center for Health Statistics and lead author of the research published online Wednesday.
When this survey was conducted in 2007, 1.6% of parent said they had a child with an autism diagnosis – which suggests 1 in 86 school-age children have some form of autism. In this latest study, 2% of parents said their child currently had a diagnosis of some for of autism.
Based on this new CDC report and last year's CDC report, "it's really tough to know what the true prevalence of ASD is," says Zachary Warren, director of Vanderbilt University's Treatment and Research Institute for Autism Spectrum Disorders.
"One estimate is based on parent reporting, one is based on record (medical and educational) reviews – neither of those estimates include direct observations of children."
Blumberg says he can't say which prevalence study is more accurate because they are two different types of studies, looking at two different things (medical/educational records of 8-year-olds vs. parents of school-age children reporting on their child's diagnosis).
However, both sets of data show "increases in the prevalence of autism over time," Blumberg says.
Caveats
Only 23% of those surveyed participated in the survey.  That's down from a 47% response rate in 2007.  The CDC insists that "although the potential for bias cannot be ruled out, differences between respondents and non-respondents should not have a major impact on the conclusions of this report."
Not everyone agrees with this assessment. "If your child has a problem, you're more likely to respond ... that's just common sense," says Dr. Max Wiznitzer, a neurologist and autism expert at Rainbow Babies and Children's Hospital in Cleveland, Ohio.
"I am concerned that this report will be interpreted as a true rise in the prevalence of autism, when all we're talking about is a label that has been given at some time in a child's life, with no knowledge of who gave the label, their experience in assessing children with autism and the reason for the label," says Wiznitzer.
The advocacy group Autism Speaks believes this latest CDC report provides growing evidence that the number of children with autism spectrum disorders is underestimated in the United states, says Michael Rosanoff, associate director for public health research and scientific review for the organization.
Experts agree that the earlier a child is diagnosed with autism, the better the chances are for a child to overcome the difficulties that come with the disorder.  Rosanoff notes that "the majority of new autism diagnoses is in children 7 years or older who never had a diagnosis."
And even though many of these new cases of autism were mild forms of the disorder, he says even mildly affected children who are in regular school settings can struggle and may be in need of services to help them cope with autism spectrum disorder. "We need to have more research funding to understand why the prevalence is so high," he says.
Warren says there is no doubt that the field of autism is simultaneously struggling with problems of over-identification and under-identification of these disorders. "We need to find a way to standardize identification of children with autism and then translating it into effective treatment."

"The need for devotion to something outside ourselves is even more profound than the need for companionship.  If we are not to go to pieces or wither away, then we must have some other purpose in life.  For no man can live for himself alone."--Ross Parmenter

FIVE TRAITS TO LOOK FOR IN A DOCTOR
I thought this was interesting...because many of us with Moebius Syndrome at times have ongoing medical issues.  We have to see doctors maybe a little bit more frequently than does the average person.  So we want to find a good doctor.  And if you're not satisfied with your current physician, maybe you need to seek a new one.  So if you're seeking a doctor for the first time, or looking for a new one, what on earth should you look for?  We've got some answers:

"Is your doctor less than friendly? It might be time to find a new one. Having an empathetic doctor can actually decrease your pain awareness, according to a new study published in Patient Education and Counseling.
Michigan State University researchers assigned nine women to one of two types of interviews with a doctor prior to an MRI brain scan. Some of the participants talked to doctors who asked only very clinical information (such as their medical history and what medications they took), while the rest talked to doctors who also asked open-ended questions about their home life and work as well as addressed any concerns they had about the upcoming procedure.
Then, the participants received mild electric shocks while looking at a photo of a doctor—either the doctor with whom they had just interviewed or one they didn't know—whom they were told was supervising the procedure. Throughout the process, MRI scans measured activity in the participants' anterior insula, the region of the brain that makes people aware of pain.
The participants whose doctors had asked them about their lives and answered their questions before the procedure experienced less anterior insula activity when they looked at a photo of their interviewing doctor than when they looked at one of an unknown doctor. They also reported feeling less pain from the shocks and being more satisfied with their doctors than the participants who had interviewed with strictly clinical doctors.
Previous research has shown that patients who have empathetic doctors have better health outcomes, but this is the first study to explain why, says lead researcher Issidoros Sarinopoulos, Ph.D., a professor of radiology at Michigan State University.
"The degree to which patients develop a positive relationship with their doctors determines how their brains react to stress and experience pain," Sarinopoulos says. That relationship influences how the body recovers, and can affect your health. "Patients should pay attention to how their doctor makes them feel and recognize empathy as a desirable characteristic in a physician," Sarionopoulos adds.
Still, empathy's not the only quality to look for in a doc. Here, 5 additional traits all good doctors should have:

Traits to Look for in a Doctor

He Takes His Time

Faster isn't always better. It takes time to listen to, diagnose, and prescribe the best treatment—and sometimes the 17 minutes the average doctor spends doing the job just doesn't cut it.
You should leave your appointment with answers to all of your questions, says Richard Klein, M.D., author of Surviving Your Doctors: Why the Medical System Is Dangerous to Your Health and How to Get Through It Alive. If you feel your physician is trying to push you through your visits in warp-speed time, consider looking for one who has fewer patients, he says.

She's Well-Rested

It's no secret: A sleepless night clouds next-day judgment. You want your doc to always be alert and well rested.
If she's constantly yawning or has horrendous circles under her eyes, you might want look elsewhere, says Charles Christopher Landrigan, M.D., director of the Sleep and Patient Safety Program at Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston. Remember: It's within your rights as a patient to ask if your doctor is rested.

He's up-to-date on the latest research

Doogie might be the best doc, after all.
"If you're getting a procedure involving a laproscope, robot, or other new technique, the doctor who just finished his or her training could be your best bet," says Janet Pregler, M.D., director of the Iris Cantor-UCLA Women's Health Center.
When it comes to your general practitioner, who won't be performing newfangled tests or procedures, mid-career doctors have a good balance of current knowledge and work experience. Check out your local teaching hospital: Physicians who work there are regularly vetted by their peers and have to stay up-to-date to continually teach interns.

She doesn't judge you or dismiss your concerns

You should be able to talk to your doctor about your sex life, drinking habits, and anything else that can affect your health without feeling judged. If you feel she criticizes your lifestyle choices or dismisses your concerns, look for someone else, Klein says.
It could affect your treatment: A study in The Journal of Law, Medicine & Ethics found that women who have the same pain symptoms as men are less likely to receive appropriate treatment because their physicians assume they are exaggerating.

He keeps it professional

While a friendly doc is great, a flirtatious one can hurt your health.
If Dr. McDreamy starts making eyes at you, you'll be less likely to bring up the vicious gas you've been battling, says Pamela F. Gallin, M.D., author of How to Survive Your Doctor's Care. Also, keep in mind that more doctors than ever are now Googling their patients, according to the Harvard Review of Psychiatry. If you hear your doctor discussing personal details you didn't divulge, ask how he got the info.

"Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come.  You wait and watch and work; you don't give up."--Anne LaMott

FROM THE I-JUST-THOUGHT-THIS-WAS-INTERESTING DEPT
When it comes to gender, guess who tends to worry more?  Read on--but don't worry about it :+)  :
"U.S. women are more likely than men to say they often feel worried, nervous or anxious, according to a recent survey from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
In the survey, which took place in 2010 and 2011, about 22 percent of women said they felt worried, nervous, or anxious daily or weekly, compared to 16 percent of men.
In general, these feelings were more common in young and middle-age adults than older people. Previous studies have found older adults are generally happier and less stressed than younger people.
In the new study, participants were asked "How often do you feel worried, nervous, or anxious? Would you say daily, weekly, monthly, a few times a year, or never?"
For men, 17 percent of those ages 18 to 44, and 18 percent of those between 45 and 64 reported daily or weekly worry, nervousness or anxiety. About 23 percent of women ages 18 to 64 said the same.
Among those over age 75, 11 percent of men and 16 percent of women reported such feelings.
The study will be published in this week's issue of the CDC's Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report."

"Nothing really worth having is easy to get.  The hard-fought battles, the goals won with sacrifice, are the ones that matter."--Aisha Tyler.

SEEING WHAT OTHERS DON'T
I found this interesting piece today--concerning someone who just loves to take walks...which has led her to think about how much we DON'T see, even when we're looking.  And it got me thinking about something I've noticed time and again:  that it appears to me that many people with Moebius Syndrome, even though they cannot for the most part show facial expression ourselves, are very good at spotting and quickly evaluating the expressions and facial cues others give us.  Maybe this is because we're very conscious of the fact that others may be looking (indeed, staring) at us in a different way.  Maybe the fact that we don't have facial expressions makes us appreciate it more.  In any case, I suspect you could add some persons with Moebius to the list below, of folks who maybe, sometimes, "see" more than does the average Joe:
"What do you see when you walk to work, take yourself or your child to school, run to the store or head around the block with your dog?

Chances are, not much at all.

Evolution in humans has refined our ability to selectively attend to one stimulus and ignore all others; in this case, most of the myriad of stimuli that bombards you on the street, from people and pigeons to sounds and smells.

This capacity is useful, and lets us "concentrate" when we need to. But it also means that we spend a lot of time ignoring the richness of the world around us.

I study dog cognition, and to do so I spend a good amount of time observing dog behavior; on top of that, I live with two dogs who compel me to bring them out for walks a few times a day.

After some thousands of these walks and observations, I began realizing just how different "a walk" is for a dog and her person. For a dog, an animal whose primary sense is olfaction, the street is made up not of sights to see but of smells to smell. Indeed, being focused on odors -- which themselves require air to move, or a surface to light on -- means that for my dogs, the street outside our apartment building is different each time we step out the door.

Walking with dogs lets me see how little of the street I was experiencing most of the time. As familiar as my own block felt to me, I was mostly ignorant of what was on it.

I wondered what might other peoples' experience or interest let them see on my street that I routinely miss? In the past two years, I've taken dozens of walks with people whose constitution or expertise enables them to see differently (11 of these walks are described in "On Looking").

The urban sociologist Fred Kent and I noticed how well pedestrians unconsciously adjust their paths to navigate around each other -- except for the texters, noses pointed to the ground, who routinely bumped into people.

A naturalist, Charley Eiseman, showed me how every surface, from leaf to sidewalk crack, has an insect whose universe is centered there.

Walking with the illustrator Maira Kalman let me see the elegance in a couch placed incongruously among garbage bags and highlighted the kinds of personal, private and public spaces we navigate in the city.

These walks stay with me now on every walk I take in New York. Just today, because I walked with the urban wildlife expert John Hadidian, I noticed that a pipe affixing a traffic light to its pole was hosting a slew of nesting sparrows.

Given a lens to notice lettering styles by the typographer Paul Shaw, I counted six distinct serifed fonts in the lobby of the building where I work, punctuated by only one word -- EXIT -- entirely without serifs.

I noticed the standpipes (colored red, green, gold and one red with yellow caps) which my son, at the time 19 months old, pointed out to me, and which are evidence of a building six stories or higher.

From walking with Dr. Bennett Lorber and physical therapist Evan Johnson, I saw how a woman's pants, bunched up at the outside of her leg more than on the inside, revealed her bowleggedness and slight swagger.

And I felt the change of breeze from a slight headwind to a hair-ruffling side-wind as I crossed an intersection, because I walked with Arlene Gordon. Arlene went blind as an adult, and what she showed me was how much of the block she still sees, four decades after becoming blind.

She saw the intersections we approached by experiencing the changes of airflow that hit her. And as we walked, she used sound to draw a picture of the space around her. Through the tap of her cane, which, like an echolocating bat, sends a small sound out into the world, she could detect the size and constituents of the space through which she was walking.

As we neared an awning overhanging the sidewalk, she heard the awning -- because the cane-tap sound bounced back at her changed, closer. After we passed under it, I also could hear the sound changing, dribbling into the wide sky above us.

All of these walkers showed me that there are plenty of details to see on an ordinary walk around the block -- if only we bother to turn our attention away from our phones and headphones. There is no mandate to see all the time, but the reality in front of our noses, made visible to me by these people, is well worth the look."

 

"Each of us can look back upon someone who made a great difference in our lives, someone whose wisdom or simple acts of caring made an impression upon us.  In all likelihood it was someone who sought no recognition for their deed other than the joy of knowing that, by their hand, someone's life had been made better."--Stephen M. Wolf

LIFE WITH MOEBIUS SYNDROME
Today I just want to quote a Facebook friend of mine.  His name is Gavin, and he lives and works in South Africa.  He has Moebius Syndrome, too; and his job has him often on the phone, dealing with customers and their issues...and of course he deals daily with his co-workers, as well.  He always comes up with very interesting takes on Moebius and dealing with life, given his experiences...especially this recent one, which I reproduce here:

"Even though I can't smile I think that I mostly come across as friendly, funny and polite. Somehow I manage to project it without a smile. It always amazes me that people who CAN smile, particularly in the service industry, don't. This leads me to believe that having the right attitude is more important than whether you can or cannot smile. And you can quote me on that! : )"

Thanks, Gavin--I will!  Because it is oh, so true.

BULLYING CAN AFFECT EVERYONE...
...even teachers.  Continue to raise awareness.  Read on:
"Several years ago, Brendesha Tynes was taken aback when she received an e-mail from one of her former students.
The note directed her to a Facebook event for an all-night bar crawl – an event with which Tynes, an assistant professor at the time, had nothing to do. But it featured an offensive image and listed Tynes as the host; another former student had set it up.
As an educator and researcher, Tynes had spent years looking into cyberbullying. Now, she was a victim.
Tynes said she was prepared to tackle the eye rolls and sharp tongues that can come with molding young minds, but being publicly humiliated by a student wasn’t in her lesson plan.
Reports from teachers say her case isn’t an anomaly. A 2011 study, "Understanding and Preventing Violence Directed Against Teachers," reported 80% of about 3,000 K-12 teachers surveyed felt victimized by students, students’ parents or colleagues in the past year.
Teachers reported that students were most often behind the verbal intimidation, obscene gestures, cyberbullying, physical offenses, theft or damage to personal property.
But few teachers or researchers are talking about it.
“People are very eager to talk about (teacher victimization) amongst co-workers and amongst friends, but they’re very hesitant to report it to authorities or to the media,” Tynes said. “People want to protect their students, even though they’re being victimized by them, and they’re worried about the reputations of the schools they work at.”

Dorothy Espelage, a professor of educational psychology at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, ran the 2011 study and found little research available regarding violence directed toward teachers.
Only 14 studies have been conducted internationally about violence directed at teachers, Espelage wrote in a follow-up report published this year in the journal American Psychologist. In the new report, she suggests developing a national, anonymous database for teacher victimization to help researchers pinpoint “the how and the why” about violence against teachers, prevent it and better train educators.
Bullying among students and peer groups is a hot topic, Espelage said, but talking about teacher victimization is considered taboo.
According to her 2011 study, 57% of teachers surveyed said they brought an incident to the attention of administrators.
The study found that 44% of teachers said they’ve experienced physical victimization. Men who participated in the study were more likely than women to report obscene remarks and gestures, verbal threats and instances of weapons being pulled on them. Women, on the other hand, were more likely than men to report intimidation.
Because there’s so little information available, Espelage said she can only speculate about the gender differences: Male teachers might be more likely to break up fights between students, subjecting themselves to more acts of violence, while women might be victimized in other ways. Espelage said she’s had students demean her gender, and make obscene gestures and sexual remarks to her. A student once wrote on an exam about having sex with her.
Despite feeling disrespected, Espelage said she, like the majority of teachers in her study, didn’t report the “low-level stuff.”
Staying quiet doesn’t make sense for teachers, she said. Her research showed that the No. 1 reason teachers leave the profession is because “they can’t handle the disrespect.”
MetLife’s 2012 Survey of the American Teacher revealed that job satisfaction is the lowest in more than 20 years. The survey reported that 29% of teachers said they are likely to leave the profession. That’s 12% higher than the number of teachers who said they would leave in 2009.
“It’s intimidating to walk in front of a group of students,” said Bill Bond, a former teacher and high school principal who’s now a specialist for safe schools with the National Association of Secondary School Principals. “They are going to challenge you academically, socially, and I hate to say it, but they will even challenge you physically. Kids just want to see where the limit is.”
Bond said young teachers especially might be afraid to talk with a principal about being victimized in the classroom because they believe it means “they’re being ineffective somewhere.”
But a good principal or mentor will be there to help that teacher look at the issue at hand and correct it, he said.
Teachers aren’t innocent, either, he said – it’s more common for a teacher to humiliate or bully a student than the other way around. When students feel disrespected by a teacher, they’ll start to challenge them and eventually, they’ll make it personal, Bond said.
Mutual respect is key, he said.
“It’s tough to take control of 30, 35 teenagers with their hormones raging and all their opinions,” Bond said. “The key to surviving is having peers you can go to and help you master your craft.”
Tynes, now an associate professor of educational psychology and psychology at the University of Southern California, said being cyberbullied in 2007 left her stressed and anxious. Tynes said a mentor helped her to report the incident, and the student who created the Facebook event was required to complete diversity training.
“People were incredibly supportive,” she said.
Tynes said she has learned from experience that opening the lines of communication between teachers and students’ parents can prevent teacher victimization by students – and by their parents. The 2011 study found that 37% of teachers who reported they'd been victimized felt that way because of a student's parent.
Keeping pupils engaged will also prevent an imbalance of power between teacher and student, she said. When a teacher constantly hands out work sheets and offers little support, she added, it can make students feel like the teacher doesn’t care, and that’s when they disconnect.
The cyberbullying experience fueled a desire to understand better how bullying affects young people. Through her research, she’s found that young victims of cyberbullying often experience depressive symptoms and anxiety, just as she did once.
Despite the struggles, there's no better time than now to be a teacher, she said.
“We have so many technological tools and new media at our disposal,” she said. “We can really enhance and promote learning in more ways than we could in the past.”

"Raise your words, not voice.  It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder."--Jalal ad-Din Rumi.

OVER-SCHEDULED CHILDREN, ANXIOUS PARENTS
I just thought this was a good piece for all parents to read, for all those who know they might someday be parents, for all younger people who have ever felt too busy and too pressured.  Being a parent is a tough job.  We can easily feel like we're not doing all we can or should be doing.  But there are times, too, when you just have to step back.  Read on:
"Are we, as a nation, making childhood too stressful for millions of kids?

Are we cramming them into too many after-school activities without an eye toward what lessons they'll learn about themselves?

Have we forgotten what childhood can and should be like?

These are just a few of the big existential worries that spiral out of a simple-sounding question millions of parents ask ourselves: What activities should my children be involved in?

Josh Levs

As a dad to two young boys, I'm quickly learning what so many parents already know: It's stressful territory that involves a tough balancing act.

But recently, standing before a large crowd, I had a realization that now serves as my guidepost, and that I hope will help others.

What if your kid's a budding prodigy?

Good parents want to help our kids learn skills, gain confidence, find interests and try new things. When they're young, it's easy to want to give them every opportunity.

But that's impossible, not to mention expensive.

One of my boys has drummed to the beat since he was a baby, so I'm looking into drum lessons. The other can't stop dancing, so maybe he'll take dance lessons. Both love playing catch with me. Tee ball time?

The oldest, in kindergarten, chose tennis lessons. And they both love their swim lessons.

The possibilities are endless.

What if one is meant to be a pole vaulting chess prodigy, and the other's an Olympic gymnast who paints masterpieces? How will they know if we don't introduce them to all these things?

And so the spiraling begins, which helps lead some parents to sign our kids up for too many activities.

There are studies saying the "overscheduled child" is a "myth," but those are about generation-wide statistics. The fact remains that some kids are kept far too busy.

"Parents need to teach their kids to balance human doing with human being," said clinical psychologist Paula Bloom.

Parents need to teach their kids to balance human doing with human being.
Paula Bloom, clinical psychologist

Kids need to know they're not defined by what they do, she said. They need time to play, experiment, rest and figure out who they are.

"As parents, we've got to get over our anxiety that we're not doing enough. Creating a sense of safety, helping kids have confidence to try certain things, those are the things that matter."

As kids get older, they'll show you more and more what they're interested in, Bloom notes.

And, yes, we all make mistakes.

"As adults, your kids are going to tell their therapists, 'Oh my parents never let me play piano,' or some other activity. It's going to happen. Being able to tolerate that is really important."

League sports for little kids?

Many of my kids' friends started soccer leagues at age 3. My wife and I asked ourselves: Do we want our boys to be the only ones without soccer skills? We want them to know they can do anything and to join the camaraderie.

But on top of their other activities, our kids have religious education one weekend morning. Soccer would mean not a single morning all week to relax at home, unstructured.

A great dad I know, a personal trainer (full disclosure: mine) who works regularly with teen athletes, is vehemently against kids entering sports leagues before they're about age 11 or 12.

Adults are "trying to instill grown-up values and competitive nature on a kid, and they're nowhere near that yet," said Robert Stephens. "They're trying to make them into world champions. That's nuts!"

Adults are trying to instill grown-up values and competitive nature on a kid.
Robert Stephens, trainer

Stephens, who along with his wife raised two boys, wants kids to start playing neighborhood pickup games again.

"It teaches them how to regulate themselves, make up rules," and fix problems, he said.

But these days, that rarely happens. And as CNN has reported, league sports are helping fill a vacuum and keep many kids active.

Your advice

In a Facebook discussion, some parents said their kids' sports leagues are mostly about having fun.

Dawn Ladd said her 6-year-old daughter's soccer league is "organized, but obviously not competitive."

Still, many parents say leagues aren't right for their little ones.

"We tried... and it was awful. What 4-year-old is ready?" asks Christina Comstock. She now limits her son's activities to scouts and karate. #kids

Many parents wrote that two activities at a time is their maximum. But others have seen their children thrive on busy schedules.

My colleague Jo Parker's two children have done ballet for years. Her 12-year-old daughter goes five days a week. Cutting back might make the family's life easier, Parker said. "But she loves it too much!"

Ultimately, it's up to each family.

"There's no decision tree," said Bloom, no "perfect cocktail."

There is, however, a critical element that often falls to the wayside: the family's overall lifestyle.

"There are families with so much stress because all weekend they're traveling to games. We don't let our kids drive all the decisions in our families. They don't have to drive extracurricular decisions," Bloom said.

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And many parents get so busy with kids' activities that they let their marriages falter, she said. "Parents need to ask themselves: What are you modeling for your kid?"

The realization

I was standing in front of hundreds of teenagers when I realized something about raising my own kids.

It was a keynote address to the Hugh O'Brian Youth Leadership (HOBY) World Leadership Congress. My message was to "be the cups and ice," my way of saying you should chase and maximize all your opportunities to achieve dreams and to "shine" by being unique, following your instincts.

As I looked out at these kids from all over the world who have stepped up in their communities and shown great potential, it struck me that I couldn't care less whether they can run an 8-minute mile, play the violin, or set up a tent.

I care that they know they can achieve anything, that they understand big rewards come from perseverance and hard work, that they treat others as they'd want to be treated.

I care that they fill their lives with positivity, love and friendship, and take time for those things.

I realized I had gotten caught up in the means, not the end.

It isn't about a search for the perfect activities. My role as a parent is to help guide my kids to that good place. And there are plenty of ways to get there."

"Give me 6 hours to chop down a tree, and I will spend the first four sharpening the ax."--Abraham Lincoln.

INSPIRATIONAL STORY OF THE DAY
Do you have Moebius Syndrome?  Do you feel you get stared at, that people think you're "different" and it annoys you?  Well, imagine if you were born without eyes or a nose.  Like this young lady--who, despite these obstacles, strives and achieves like crazy.  Read on:
"Cassidy Hooper has high hopes for a career in radio broadcasting, despite her physical challenges. The 16-year-old from Charlotte, N.C., was born with no eyes or nose.
She attends The Governor Morehead School in Raleigh, N.C., a residential K-12 school for the blind, but no challenge is too big for her: She runs on the track team and recently qualified for a scholarship to the Charlotte Curling Club.
And soon, by the end of the school year, she will have a new nose.
Since the age of about 11, Cassidy has gone through a series of skin graft and facial reconstruction operations at Levine Children's Hospital in Charlotte. In three final surgeries done over two to three weeks, doctors will stretch skin flaps over a bone or cartilage graft from another part of her body.
Cassidy said she is excited that for the first time she will be able to smell and breathe through her nose. "I'll have a real nose like everyone else's," she said.
Nothing has ever stood in the way of Cassidy's optimism and ambition.
"Things always may be hard," Cassidy told ABCNews.com. "But here's what I think: I don't need easy, I just need possible."
No one knows why Cassidy was born without eyes and a nose, a rare birth defect that likely occurred during the first two weeks of gestation.
"Her heart and brain are normal," said her mother, Susan Hooper, 42 and a kindergarten teacher. "Nothing else is going on with her."
Cassidy's father, Aaron Hooper is a 47-year-old engineer and she has two sisters, 18 and 12. From the moment she was born, her reconstructive surgeon, Dr. David Matthews, knew Cassidy would eventually have surgery, but had to wait until she stopped growing. He put in an expander to stretch the skin above her mouth and widened her face to create a bony opening, then an airway.
"It's been a long process," said Hooper.
As a little girl, Cassidy had prosthetics for eyes, but at $5,000 a piece the family could not afford to replace the custom-made eyes when she outgrew them.
"Insurance didn't pay one cent," said her mother. "We had already started the process to do her nose, moving her eyes closer together and having her skull reshaped. We were not going to pay for it then have to pay again."
She said once Cassidy's nose surgery was complete, they would buy new prosthetic eyes.
To be born with no eyes and nose is "exceedingly rare," said Dr. Sherard A. Tatum III, director of facial and reconstructive surgery at Upstate Golisano Children's Hospital in Syracuse, N.Y.
A member of the American Academy of Facial, Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery, Tatum volunteers with its Face to Face program, providing free facial surgeries to children in the Third World.
Building the foundation for a nose is complex, said Tatum, who does not treat Cassidy.
"The nose is a little like the ear -- what you see isn't functional," he said. "A lot of people have noses they lost to trauma and cancer and breathe fine and have a sense of smell. The nose is something we expect to see in its conventional place and it's good to put glasses on, but it's not 100 percent necessary."
"The nose is a bit of a tee-pee," said Tatum. "The soft tissues that make up the inside and the outside skin and mucus membrane don't have a lot of strength to stick out of the face like the nose does. You can't just slap some skin up there and make it look like a nose."

There's more--read the whole thing.

HEALTH NEWS OF THE DAY:  STAY ACTIVE AND...

...you'll be happy.  Read on:
"You're probably familiar with the post-workout feeling that, for the next little while, all is well with the world. That exercise-induced glow can wear off pretty quickly, of course, but does that mean that any happiness imparted by being inactivity is temporary and fleeting? No, according to a study published in the American Journal of Epidemiology, which found that regular activity is linked with greater happiness over periods of years.
This Canadian study analyzed data from eight National Population Health Survey cycles, spanning 15 years, to see how activity level at the beginning of the survey and then years later was associated with happiness. In its design, it attempted to get around that, in the short term, exercise might be linked with greater happiness because happier people might be more likely to exercise. The researchers looked at data on activity and happiness that was collected every two years.
Respondents to the survey were asked about participation in several kinds of leisure-time physical activity and were divided into active and inactive groups based on their daily energy expenditure. They were also asked to characterize how happy they were, and were divided into happy and unhappy groups based on those replies. People who were unhappy when first surveyed were excluded from the study.

The researchers found that being physically active was associated with 85 percent higher odds of being happy at the start of the study. Among happy people, those who reported being inactive at the beginning of the survey were 49% and 45% more likely to be unhappy two and four years later than people who reported being active. Happy people who were inactive in two consecutive cycles were twice as likely to be unhappy two years later than people who were active at both times. People who changed from being inactive to active were more likely to report feeling happy two and four years later.
These finding suggest that changes in activity level affects changes in mood over long periods of time. Today's run is likely helping your mind not just today."

"Storms make trees take deeper roots."--Dolly Parton

A NOTE ON PARENTING AND MOEBIUS SYNDROME

So I've been reading this book lately, by Dr. Laura Markham--all about "peaceful parenting", as she calls it, and how to stop yelling at your kids and start connecting with them.  It's a great book for all parents.  I encourage all to read it.  But I also think there's a connection to Moebius Syndrome, and you Moebius moms and dads will be interested in it.  Let me lay it out.

What Markham focuses on is that, for children, one of the important things to do is to connect with them, and especially to empathize with them.  The emphasis should not be on tough discipline, "consequences" and time outs and tough, negative actions in response to "bad choices", etc etc.  There must be limits, yes, and boundaries set; but it's important to do it in a positive, loving, empathic way.  And one of the most important ways to foster all this is to acknowledge and sympathize with your child's feelings.  If your very young child gets angry and throws a tantrum, try not to get mad and lose control.  Same goes if your somewhat older child gets angry and doesn't behave as he or she should.  Don't get mad and suggest your child should not express his anger; this can effectively get your child to try to bury those feelings and deny them.  That won't help.  The anger will only come out later.  Instead, realize that your child's tantrum tells you that somehow your child feels that he or she has lost her connection with you, that it needs to be re-established somehow.  Acknowledge your child's anger--"yes, I realize you're mad; you really wanted to play longer, didn't you?  I know.  But it's bedtime now."

I probably don't explain it as well as Ms. Markham can.  You should read her book yourself.  But now how is this related to Moebius?  Simple.  What can be the most frustrating thing to deal with for a parent of a Moebius child?  I bet you it might be this:  your child's shyness.  It's hard for your child in social situations.  Maybe he or she is reluctant to go to school functions.  It's difficult for him to get out there and make friends.  It's hard for her to go to another child's birthday party.  And so forth.  It's hard for you parents, I know.  You weren't shy like that when you were young.  It's not a big deal for you to meet other people.  Why is it so danged hard for your child?  Now, here's where Dr. Markham comes in.  Think of how much better it would be, when it comes to your relationship with your Moebius child, if you showed empathy.  Remember:  when you were young, you weren't seen as looking "different."  Especially:  you were never stared at as a Moebius child is.  So remember:  why not acknowledge your child's feelings?  "I know it's hard to be stared at.  I know it's not easy to be seen as different.  I know there are children who tease you.  And it's not right."

You should still try to get your child to go and do things.  You shouldn't just allow them to be hermits.  But remember--it's hard sometimes.  A little empathy from you can go a long way...

"To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong."--Joseph Chilton Pearce

HEALTH NEWS OF THE DAY
How regular exercise can help you sleep better--something that's important for everyone, but especially for my Moebius friends, because I know plenty of you don't sleep as well as you'd like, plus some of you struggle with night terrors.  Maybe exercise could help a bit.  Read on:
"People who exercise, even lightly, report sleeping better than individuals who don't exercise, according to results from a new poll.
Among people who said they engaged in light, moderate or vigorous physical activity during the week, 56 to 67 percent reported that they "had a good night’s sleep," almost every night on week nights, the poll found. By contrast, just 39 percent of people who did not exercise at all reported sleeping this well on week nights. Exercisers were also less likely to report sleep problems compared to non-exercises. Just 8 percent of people who exercised vigorously said they had difficulty falling asleep almost every night, compared to 24 percent of non-exercisers.
Light physical activity was defined as walking; moderate physical activity included exercises such as weight lifting and yoga; and vigorous physical activity included exercises such as running, swimming or cycling. Participants rated their weekly physical activity as light, moderate, vigorous or none based on activities they performed for at least 10 minutes at a time.
Spending less time sitting was also linked to better sleep. About 22 to 25 percent of people surveyed who sat for less than eight hours a day reported that they enjoyed "very good" sleep, compared to just 12 to 15 percent of people who sat for more than eight hours.
The findings from the poll, conducted by the National Sleep Foundation, agree with one of the classic rules of sleep hygiene: "People who are active tend to sleep better," said Lisa Meltzer, a sleep psychologist at National Jewish Health in Denver, who was not involved in the poll.
However, it's important to note that the poll only found an association, and cannot prove that exercise actually helps people sleep. It could be that people who don't sleep well are too tired to exercise.
In addition, people who exercise tend to have routines, such as going to bed and waking up at the same time every day, which can benefit sleep. When people are very busy, they end up sacrificing both sleep and exercise for work or other activities, Meltzer said.
While the quality of sleep was poorer for people who didn't engage in physical activity, both exercisers and non-exercisers reported getting similar amounts of sleep — about seven hours a night.
Because exercise may cause weight loss, it may also improve symptoms of sleep apnea, a condition often linked to obesity, Meltzer said. People who have sleep apnea stop breathing for brief periods during the night.
Contrary to popular belief, even exercising close to bedtime improved sleep in the people who were polled.  Individuals who exercised at any time of the day slept better than those who didn't exercise, the poll found.
Because of these results, the National Sleep Foundation has changed its recommendations on exercise and sleep to encourage exercise at any time of the day or evening, unless exercising is done at the expense of sleep. However, people with chronic insomnia should still not exercise close to bedtime, Meltzer said, as this may make it difficult for them to sleep.
The results are based on a survey of 1,000 U.S. adults ages 23 to 60. Close to 50 percent of participants were light exercisers, 25 percent were moderate exercisers, 18 percent were vigorous exercisers, and 9 percent were non-exercisers"

"The longest journey you will ever take is the 18 inches from your head, all the way to your heart."--Andrew Bennett

OBSTACLES
And why it's rewarding to overcome them...

****************************

We are built to conquer environment, solve problems, achieve goals, and we find no real satisfaction or happiness in life without obstacles to conquer and goals to achieve. -Maxwell Maltz

The marvelous richness of human experience would lose something of rewarding joy if there were no limitations to overcome. The hilltop hour would not be half so wonderful if there were no dark valleys to traverse. -Helen Keller (1880-1968)

Every sale has five basic obstacles: no need, no money, no hurry, no desire, no trust. -Zig Ziglar

Everyone who achieves success in a great venture solves each problem as they come to it. They helped themselves. And they were helped through powers known and unknown to them at the time they set out on their voyage. They kept going regardless of the obstacles they met. -W. Clement Stone (1902-2002)

The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it. -Jean Baptiste Moliere (1622-1673)

When we are sure that we are on the right road there is no need to plan our journey too far ahead. No need to burden ourselves with doubts and fears as to the obstacles that may bar our progress. We cannot take more than one step at a time. -Orison Swett Marden (1850-1924)

What is the difference between an obstacle and an opportunity? Our attitude toward it. Every opportunity has a difficulty, and every difficulty has an opportunity. -Sidlow J. Baxter

You are the only real obstacle in your path to a fulfilling life. -Les Brown

When you are in the valley, keep your goal firmly in view and you will get the renewed energy to continue the climb. -Denis Waitley

It is not ease but effort, not facility but difficult, that makes man. There is perhaps no station in life in which difficulties do not have to be encountered and overcome before any decided means of success can be achieved. -Samuel Smiles (1812-1904)