DON'T DO IT OUT OF GUILT

The below is adapted from a recent Washington Post advice column.  I do so because I thought it would be interesting to many of you.  Many of us with Moebius, as adults, tend to be a bit shy and introverted.  That's not surprising; it's not always fun to look "different" and thus to be stared at, etc.  At the same time, many of us know that we can't just stay home all the time; that we don't want to be constant shut-ins; that we need to get out and do something. 

But how to approach this?  Does it mean that we have to constantly do things we hate?  No; and I think the column below provides some useful insight in how to look at this.  Read on:

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I’m 34. I usually prefer to spend my free time with my significant other of nine years. I also have a small core of very close friends, and about twice a month, we have dinner/drinks with these friends. I’m an introvert, so I don’t like large outings or parties, but will attend a few each year.
But that means turning down many event and party invitations. After a couple of these events were canceled due to low interest, I started feeling guilty about saying no, so I’ve been going to more out of obligation. I guess I wanted to communicate to less-close friends and acquaintances that I care about them.
That doesn’t make the events any more bearable or fun. I find myself wondering why I’m doing things I don’t want to do. My thinking is this: People who like to plan and organize group events generally do so because that’s just the way they have fun, right? So, even though I prefer to connect with these people in my life in ways that are less stressful to me, I should continue to suck it up and attend some events to support their preferences, right?
Socially Obligated?
“Should” is such a loaded word.
Meeting friends halfway is the most basic way to keep friends. Since it’s probably safe to assume not everyone would see your first choice (quiet dinner/drinks) as their first choice for socializing, it makes sense that you’d agree to others’ first choice sometimes, even if it drains you.
That said, going out of guilt takes it too far. “I want to show this person I care,” yes; “. . . or else I will beat myself up for not going”? I don’t think your (good) friends would want to be the source of those feelings. Go occasionally to stay in touch and don’t dwell on the issue beyond that.

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What do you think?