...away from summer. That is--if you have a child with special needs, how can you move him or her away from the vacationings of summer and back into the school year? Here's some ideas:
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Just as parents of kids with autism and other special needs have gotten them used to being on a more relaxed summer schedule,
it’s time to head back to school. That means more transitions: New
supplies, new clothes, new teachers and sometimes a new school. Parents
are also trying to ease their children into earlier bedtimes (and
wake-up times) and slowly returning to the structure that the school
year brings.
While that structure can be welcome for children
with autism and other special needs, transitions are also tough. The
anxiety of a new situation, whether it’s a school or just a classroom or
teacher, can be overwhelming.
I recently spoke with Piper Phillips, the head of PHILLIPS Programs for Children and Families,
a group that operates two public special-education day programs in the
D.C. area. She shared ways parents can help children with special needs
get ready to head back to school:
* Take baby steps.
Instead of exposing your child to the change all at once, Phillips
said, break it down into small pieces so she has more time to adjust.
Slowly introduce your child to the new school, teacher or routine. Start
by looking at a picture of the outside of the school, then try to find a
map of the building online so you can talk about where the classroom is
and where she will have lunch. Drive by the school to show her where
she will be dropped off each day. Try to arrange a time to visit the
school when it’s not crowded, to meet the teacher and possibly see the
classroom. Follow successful outings with a treat, such as a trip for
ice cream, so your child will associate the stress-inducing trip with a
pleasant result, Phillips said. Try to be matter-of-fact about the whole
process. If you make too much of a fuss about it, or talk about the
change too much, Phillips said, it can increase the child’s anxiety.
Another
option is to create a picture or social story for your child, using
photos from the school, of what to expect, Phillips said. The Web site Child-Autism-Parent-Cafe.com offers instructions and free templates to help you build a story to fit your child.
* Involve the child in the planning.
Children with autism and other disabilities often struggle with
executive function skills, or the ability to focus, get organized and
manage their time. There’s a lot of planning involved in school, from
getting ready and out the door in the morning to getting the homework
done in the evenings. There is no one size-fits-all routine or
organization system, Phillips said. You have to figure out what works
best for you and your child. Sit down with your child and ask what he
needs to be successful, so he’s invested in the schedule and system.
That will make him more likely to go along with the plan, Phillips said.
Then set up a reward system so if your child gets ready and out of the
house on time three or four out of the five days, he gets a treat. It’s
also important to recognize that while certain tasks, whether it’s
packing a backpack or turning in homework, come easily to some children,
they are much more challenging for others. Take that into account when
you are setting expectations and defining success in meeting them,
Phillips said.
When
it comes to homework, ask your child if he wants you to set a timer for
breaks, or just give verbal warnings, Phillips said. Some kids respond
well to timers and others find them very stressful.
* Take care of yourself, too.
It’s easy to lose sight of yourself in the shuffle to get everyone else
taken care of, but if you don’t do it, no one else will, Phillips said.
So while you’re thinking about what your child needs to get ready for
school, think about what you need, and treat yourself well.
“You’re
going through this and you have the extra burden of working with a
child who is not as flexible about schedule changes,” Phillips said. So
it’s important to know your limitations and what triggers your
frustration. When you’re feeling overwhelmed yourself, ask for help from
your spouse, partner, family or friends, and take a break. Or seek help
from a professional who can help you or your child better cope with the
stress.
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