*********************************
I would not change the last five years for anything. That being said, under no circumstances would I elect to revisit them.
If it were not for those
difficult years, I would not appreciate my health as much as I do now, I
would not have written five books, "The Hidden World" would not be published, and I would not have the perspective on life that I do now.
Autonomic neuropathy struck
me in February 2009. It caused random fainting spells multiple times a
day, extreme fatigue, severe confusion and dizziness, blurred vision and
a drop in my energy that prevented me from walking unsupported for many
months at a time.
Those symptoms lasted
uninterrupted -- sometimes worse, sometimes better -- for three years. I
went undiagnosed for a year and a half, and in that time I visited more
than 30 doctors and had countless treatments, setbacks, tests taken and
vials of blood drawn.
In June 2010, my illness
resulted in my permanent removal from Hotchkiss (the boarding school I
attended), and I spent two subsequent years at home. During those years I
found an agent, edited my novel, wrote three additional novels and
secured a publishing contract with Koehler Books.
In May 2012, my health
finally started to improve. There had been brief spells before where my
health would improve for a few weeks only to deteriorate even further,
so I found it difficult to believe that my hardship was over.
I sat helpless for three
years, watching my friends and family suffer because of my illness, all
the while unable to do anything to ease their suffering and my own.
But 2012 was an amazing
year for me. It was the year I finally recovered, the year I returned to
school and a normal life, and the year I got a publishing offer for my
first novel, "The Hidden World."
My writing was
instrumental to my recovery. The mental stimulation I received from my
writing saved me from a deep depression and might have played a part in
my physical recovery as well.
I was stuck at home for
two years -- two years where I had nothing to do but write and gain
appreciation for the smallest things, such as the ability to walk to the
bathroom instead of crawl.
Members of my family
played a vital role in my recovery. They were struck by my illness as
hard or harder than I was for they had to watch my health deteriorate
and my spirits drain, and there was nothing they could do about it.
Knowing how my family
suffered made the illness even worse for me. Severe depression plagued
me for those years, and I was only lifted out of it through my writing
and support from my family.
I am now fully recovered
and attending the University of Virginia. I am working on my sixth
novel, working to get my third and fifth published, and I have finally
returned to living a normal life -- something I longed for for three
years.
I still have to take
extra precautions with my health, for no one fully understands autonomic
neuropathy. There are still things that I cannot do, which frustrates
me to no end, but I remind myself that I can do far more than I could
years ago.
Having overcome what I
have, I firmly believe that life's trials are there for a reason and the
only way to overcome them is to dedicate yourself to something about
which you truly care. Sometimes the only thing that you can do is
imagine a world where you are better.
When I wrote, I escaped
to a world that was entirely my own, and I could forget for a few
minutes the stark realities of the one I was currently living in.
I would not wish those
three years on anyone, but I would not change them because they made me
who I am today, and for that I am eternally grateful. "The Hidden World"
is the culmination of the last five years, both my illness and
recovery, and I am happy to present it to the world as the silver lining
to my years of sickness.
**********************************
No comments:
Post a Comment