MORE MUSINGS ON THE SMILE SURGERY, "QUALITY OF LIFE", ETC

You know, I was reading recently about the smile surgery, the possibility that it could be done for a young child with Moebius Syndrome, and so forth.  And of course I am glad that the possibility of the smile surgery is out there.  I am glad that, for those who really want to smile, who want that opportunity, it can be made to happen for them.  And I know that parents of children with Moebius are glad that the possibility of being able to smile will perhaps be there for their children.  Please don't read this as denigrating that possibility at all.  I don't mean to do so.

But in reading one of the articles I came across, something struck me.  One of the doctors doing the surgeries these days said this:  that he was glad to be able to improve "the quality of life" for these children.

Now, on the surface, that would appear to be a kind of an obvious thing to say, not controversial at all, right?  He wants to help these children.  He believes the smile surgery will do so, and improve their lives.  What's wrong with that?  Well, nothing.  But in thinking about it, I thought:  you know, this topic is actually more complicated than people think.

For example:  I'm 51 years old now.  I've never been able to smile.  Never.  Yet I really don't believe that it has seriously harmed my "quality of life."  I mean, I'm married with a great family.  I have an advanced degree.  I teach, which I enjoy doing.  I've been able to do lots of things and go lots of places.  I live in a great country; etc etc etc.  Not being able to smile really hasn't held me back much at all.

And I know other adults with Moebius feel the same way.  Many of us could look into and maybe even undergo the smile surgery.  But we choose not to.  We are who we are.  We've adjusted to our lives.  We like them.  We accept who we are and are comfortable in our own skin.  Obviously we don't feel horribly let down or harmed by not being able to smile.

Now, having said that, I also have to add:  still, there _have_ been times when I wished I had more facial expression.  Not even necessarily a smile.  But sometimes I've wished I could wink, or frown, or look out of the corner of my eye, or exchange a more knowing glance with someone.  Something like that!  There are people who can say a million words with just one look.  That's harder for us to do.  Sometimes I miss that.  And so I completely understand when someone really wants that ability to smile, who doesn't have it.  Smiles can say a lot, too.

But I guess where I come down is this:  persons with Moebius Syndrome are great people, whether they can smile or not.  And you--persons with Moebius, their friends, their families--should love and accept yourself, accept them, whether they can smile or not.  We're OK, whether we can smile or not.  If you want to smile and want to undergo the surgery, great!  But don't feel like your quality of life is necessarily irreparably harmed because you can not smile, and/or have not had the surgery.  And families and friends of those with Moebius should not feel that we are necessarily suffering horribly because we cannot smile.

Because plenty of us with Moebius can tell you--you can have a great life, even if your smile has to come from the heart.