I-JUST-THOUGHT-THIS-WAS-INTERESTING DEPT
And hey, look, for a lot of you--it's relevant.  That's thing about having Moebius Syndrome--those on the outside might not think we have "normal" lives; but the fact is, we do.  Take relationships--just recently, Moebius friends of mine have entered new relationships, had to end a relationship that had lasted several months, and gotten married.  So we know about dating.  And we know it doesn't always work out.  Whether you were the one who initiated the breakup, or you got dumped--haven't you ever wondered?  Is it really true that "well, we can still be friends"--as many say to each other when their relationship ends?

This piece I found today suggests that the answer is no.  What do you think?  Read on:

Let’s be friends.”
 It’s an easy line to drop during a break up, as it intends to ease the pain of a breaking heart. But should you be friends with your ex?
Here are 10 reasons why you can’t be friends when the relationship is over:
1. It’s torture. You’re hanging out “as friends.” He does something that makes you smile. You suddenly want to kiss him — but can’t. Why would you put yourself through that?!
2. False hope. Admit it, it’s there. And if it’s not there for you, it probably is for your ex.
3. You can’t undo the past. If you’ve seen each other naked, you’ll have always seen each other naked. Note: Most platonic pals of opposite genders have not seen each other naked.
4. You don’t honestly want them to be with someone else. There’s a conflict of interest in your new “buddy-buddy” relationship, as you don’t want your ex to start dating again. Here’s the catch: Real friends want each other to be happy.
5. You can’t talk about your personal lives without it getting awkward. Again, real friends talk about their personal lives with each other.
6. Do you want to go to his wedding? No? Then you’re not going to make a very good friend, are you?
7. It’s awkward for your mutual friends. They know you dated. They remember the PDA. And now they have to figure out how to treat the two of you when you show up to a party together-but-not-together.
8. The mixed signals. There are too many nicknames, inside jokes and memories to start fresh, so you’re likely to fall into old dating patterns even when not romantically involved. It can be confusing for one or both of you.
9. The odds of finding true love are slim if you’re still hanging out with your ex. What new guy/gal wants to hang out with your ex every weekend?
10. It’s not healthy. You’ve had your heart broken. Why not invest your time and energy in the people who make you happy, not the ones who’ve hurt you deeply? (And if you broke up because of betrayal, character issues, hurtful comments or incompatible values, why are you choosing to spend time with someone you’ve already learned isn’t good for you?)

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"Hope is definitely not the same thing as optimism.  It is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out."--Vaclav Havel

INSPIRATIONAL STORY OF THE DAY
Actually it's both a sad story, but in the end an inspirational and uplifting one as well.  It's a story about a father.  His child didn't have Moebius Syndrome; instead, she had Down Syndrome.  And it was tough on him.  It made him depressed.  He didn't think he could handle it all.  He thought of suicide; he contemplated just getting up and leaving his wife and daughter.

Tough stuff.  But hey, let's be real.  I've got to believe that there have been parents of Moebius children who have had a hard time coping; who have at some point privately said "why us?  why my child?"  Who have at some point wanted to bail.  My wife and I have two small children--neither of whom have Moebius--and at times we're so exhausted we can hardly stand it.  I can only imagine then how it can be for parents of a special-needs child.  It can be hard.  And it's okay to acknowledge this. 

But in the end, the key is this--this guy (his name is Jack Barr, Jr.) stuck with it.  He stayed.  And now of course he's glad he did, and his daughter is an inspiration.  Those of us connected to Moebius aren't surprised.  Life is precious.  Here's his story, and see how much of it with which you can identify:


The day my daughter Marley was born, I went straight to the nursery and held her for well over two hours. I just held her and cried because I had never experienced such a love for anyone or anything in my life.

I think the nurses thought I was crazy because eventually they told me I needed to go be with my wife. Three days later, before we left the hospital, the pediatric doctor told us she thought Marley might have Down syndrome.

My reaction: Are you freaking kidding me?

I immediately had a panic attack and was taken to the emergency room. Thoughts were racing through my mind: How could my perfect daughter have Down syndrome? How could they not know for sure? How could the general ultrasound, which said we had a 1-in-18,000 chance of having a child with Down syndrome, be wrong? Why was God punishing me? How could I live with a daughter that was going to be rejected by everyone ... including myself?

I entered into a deep depression for the first year of Marley's life. My wife became concerned about me, so I started taking antidepressants and seeing a counselor. I contemplated leaving my wife, or giving my daughter up for adoption, and suicide.

I would lie awake at night thinking about my future, and searching for a reason to live. I believed all the negative things the world told me about Down syndrome, and viewed it as a curse on my family. The entire time, I couldn't stop thinking about how this would change my life!

 

But the truth is, I felt badly about myself. At one point, I wrote a letter to myself asking why things had to be this way. I prayed for God to take my worthless life in exchange for removing Marley's extra chromosome. I would even quietly lie awake at night contemplating how I would feel if she suddenly stopped breathing while she slept. Finally, one Saturday morning, when Marley was about 2 months old, I got up and told my wife I was going for a walk.

I had no intention of coming back. I was going to leave my wife and daughter.

I couldn't do it anymore. But then, after I left, I started having second thoughts, and that's when I remembered that my wife had signed up for an online support group. I ended up spending the next two hours talking on the phone about my daughter and family with a man I had never met. He had a 2-year-old with Down syndrome.

I cannot explain it, but after talking to him for two hours I had the strength to go home and face another day. For the next six months, I got up and faced one day at a time.

Years ago, my father said to me, "If you want to fix a problem, then do something about it."

I followed his advice. First, I tried to gain as much knowledge as I could about raising a child with Down syndrome. Next, I started calling every family I could find that had a child with Down syndrome. I owe a great deal to these families because they were willing to talk to me despite the 12-hour time difference between Bangkok and the States.

I also started forcing myself to interact with my daughter. She was desperate for me to start loving her, and she continued loving me until I broke down and did the same. I was scared to accept my daughter because that would mean accepting her disability. But the reality was the only thing keeping me from loving my daughter was my own ignorance.

Once I overcame my own selfish expectations for my daughter, I slowly began to see the beautiful girl that would change my life forever.

 

And finally, I talked to God. I talked to Him just like He was sitting in a chair beside me because that was the true barrier in my life. I was honest with God throughout the entire process, and that is when I started finding peace.

Healing is a process and a journey. I would have never experienced this life-changing transformation if Marley had not been born.

It is true, there are difficult times having a daughter with Down syndrome. But it also true that she is very much like any other child. Marley smiles, laughs, plays, is able to meet many developmental milestones (albeit her own pace, with her own style), makes mistakes, and, most importantly, completes our family.

She literally brightens my day every time I see her. She's now 2 years old, and at this age all children develop at different rates. Marley can walk; swim; sign and speak words; throw and kick a ball; follow simple directions and throw tantrums. She also knows how to manipulate her grandparents.

But she has not learned how to run or jump. She is taking thyroid medication and has a small heart defect.

The key is, she is very similar to most toddlers her age and every child with Down syndrome is different just like every child is different.

Before our summer break, she passed an entrance exam to start at a British preschool in September with her peers who are not labeled as "special-needs children." In my opinion, these limitations we put on children with Down syndrome are outdated and lead to a lack of acceptance in our society.

The medical community focuses on so many of the challenges associated with Down syndrome that we develop an unnecessary fear -- but these are only differences. The truth is, I am a better person today because of my daughter, my daughter who has Down syndrome. I am thankful for a wife that was willing to push me to change, and support me when I struggled.

 

Mostly, I thank God for Marley. I remember praying while waiting those first two weeks to get her confirmed diagnosis: "God, if you heal my daughter, then I will give up my own salvation."

God didn't need my salvation -- that was a gift from him to me, just like Marley is a gift to us.

The reality is that I am still saddened that Marley has Down syndrome, but I am beginning to realize that God can bless us regardless of our circumstances. I will never be able to fully understand why Marley has Down syndrome, but I do know she has made a difference in my life, my wife's life, and in the lives of so many in our community.

 

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"Hold your head up high."--M. Cyrus, "The Climb"

GIVE HIM CREDIT
He's certainly come under plenty of criticism recently, but recently the controversial teen star Justin Bieber did something nice for someone in the disabled/physically-different community:

An 8-year-old with Down syndrome got to live out her dream, scoring a meeting with pop star Justin Bieber.

Justin Bieber took to Twitter after meeting Marisa Cox, 8, on Saturday, telling his young fan with Down syndrome to “stay strong for me.” (Twitter)

Marisa Cox has Down syndrome and recently underwent a kidney transplant. During her many hospital stays, her mother told FOX5 San Diego that watching videos of Bieber and listening to his music appeared to speed the girl’s recovery.

It was Cox’s wish to meet the pop singer and touch his hand, her mother said.

Saturday night that dream became reality when Cox met Bieber before his concert at the Valley View Casino Center in San Diego.

The meeting appeared to touch Bieber as well as his young fan.
th
“One of the best parts of the job. Nice meeting you Marisa. Stay strong for me!” Bieber tweeted, along with a photo of Cox planting a kiss on his cheek.

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Good for him.  May many of those fortunate enough to be celebrities remember those who were born different...

MORE FROM THE I-JUST-THOUGHT-THIS-WAS-INTERESTING DEPT
So many people "multi-task" today.  I'm sure persons with Moebius Syndrome are no different in that regard.  But it might not be the best thing to do, even though so many today do it and take it for granted.  Here's why:

We all do it: Texting while walking, sending emails during meetings, chatting on the phone while cooking dinner. In today’s society, doing just one thing at a time seems downright luxurious, even wasteful.

But chances are, you’re not doing yourself (or your boss, or your friends and family) any favors by multitasking your way through the day. Research shows that it’s not nearly as efficient as we like to believe, and can even be harmful to our health. Here are 12 reasons why you should stop everything you’re doing—well, all but one thing—and rethink the way you work, socialize, and live your life.

You’re not really multitasking

What you call multitasking is really task-switching, says Guy Winch, PhD, author of Emotional First Aid: Practical Strategies for Treating Failure, Rejection, Guilt and Other Everyday Psychological Injuries. “When it comes to attention and productivity, our brains have a finite amount,” he says.

“It’s like a pie chart, and whatever we’re working on is going to take up the majority of that pie. There’s not a lot left over for other things, with the exception of automatic behaviors like walking or chewing gum.” Moving back and forth between several tasks actually wastes productivity, he says, because your attention is expended on the act of switching gears—plus, you never get fully “in the zone” for either activity.

It’s slowing you down

Contrary to popular belief, multitasking doesn’t save time. In fact, it will probably take you longer to finish two projects when you’re jumping back and forth than it would to finish each one separately. The same is true even for behaviors as seemingly automatic as driving: In a 2008 University of Utah study, drivers took longer to reach their destinations when they chatted on cell phones.

“What tends to save the most time is to do things in batches,” says Winch. “Pay your bills all at once, then send your emails all at once. Each task requires a specific mindset, and once you get in a groove you should stay there and finish.”

You’re making mistakes

Experts estimate that switching between tasks can cause a 40% loss in productivity. It can also cause you to introduce errors into whatever you’re working on, especially if one or more of your activities involves a lot of critical thinking.

A 2010 French study found that the human brain can handle two complicated tasks without too much trouble, because it has two lobes that can divide responsibility equally between the two. Add a third task, however, and it can overwhelm the frontal cortex and increase the number of mistakes you make.

It’s stressing you out

When University of California Irvine researchers measured the heart rates of employees with and without constant access to office email, they found that those who received a steady stream of messages stayed in a perpetual “high alert” mode with higher heart rates. Those without constant email access did less multitasking and were less stressed because of it.

And it’s not only the physical act of multitasking that causes stress; it’s the consequences, as well, says Winch. “If you do poorly on an exam because you studied while watching a baseball game on TV, that can certainly trigger a lot of stress—even self-esteem issues and depression.”

You’re missing out on life

Forget seeing the forest for the trees or the glass half full—people who are busy doing two things at once don’t even see obvious things right in front of them, according to a 2009 study from Western Washington University.

Specifically, 75% of college students who walked across a campus square while talking on their cell phones did not notice a clown riding a unicycle nearby. The researchers call this “inattentional blindness,” saying that even though the cell-phone talkers were technically looking at their surroundings, none of it was actually registering in their brains.

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There are a bunch more--go to the link to the entire article provided above and check them all out.

IDEAS FOR BETTER SLEEP
The other day I posted an interesting piece about why not getting enough sleep is bad for you; now, from the same source, here's some solutions to help you sleep better--from someone who admits she did not always appreciate the value of a good night's sleep:

I regret that for most of my adult life, I treated sleep as more a luxury than a necessity. There was always something more to do before I crawled under the covers and turned out the light. I realize belatedly that I might have been more productive — and a lot nicer to live with — if I had given sleep its proper due.
By failing to acknowledge chronic sleep deprivation, I dozed during countless cultural events, and on two occasions I fell asleep while driving, barely escaping disaster. I have since reordered my priorities and learned to avoid distractions and activities that can keep me from getting the sleep my body and mind really need.
About 70 million Americans sleep poorly or not nearly long enough to achieve the full physical, emotional and cognitive benefits sleep can bestow. There are myriad reasons, ranging from self-inflicted disruptions to those that are seemingly unavoidable. But there are also potential solutions to most of the factors that can interfere with sleep. For the sake of your health and longevity, I urge you to give them a try.
How much sleep do you need? Sleep requirements depend on age. Newborns sleep 16 to 18 hours a day, preschoolers need 11 to 12 hours, and elementary school children need 10 hours. Adolescents should get 9 to 10 hours, though most teenagers sleep only about seven hours.
Given the opportunity to sleep as long as they want, most adults average about eight hours a night. There are individual differences, of course, but the usual range is between seven and nine hours. Getting less than the amount of sleep you need during the school or workweek builds up a sleep debt that cannot be fully erased by “sleeping in” on the weekend. This pattern can also mess up your biological clock, making it hard to get up on Monday morning.
It was long ago shown that a midafternoon nap of about 20 minutes can improve alertness and productivity and reduce mistakes among sleep-deprived workers, yet few employers offer a midday lie-down or provide a place for one.
Age also affects the quality of sleep and the amount of time spent in the various stages of sleep. These include REM, or rapid-eye-movement sleep (often called dream sleep), and three types of non-REM sleep: the light sleep of Stage 1, followed by the more relaxed sleep of Stage 2 and the most restorative deep sleep of Stage 3.
Young children spend most of the night in deep sleep, which is why they can often sleep through loud noise, bright light and being carried from car to bed.
But with age, the time spent in deep sleep diminishes and any number of disturbances can cause awakenings. For women going through menopause, for example, sleep is often interrupted by hot flashes. Even if there are no external disturbances, elderly people may be awakened many times during the night by the discomforts of illness or pain, the side effects of medication or the need to urinate.
Poor sleep among the elderly may in part account for problems with memory and concentration, depressed mood and daytime sleepiness. I often see gray heads nodding off at events, even during matinees.
If noise or light disturbs your sleep, you can counter them with a white-noise machine and light-blocking shades. Keep the room cool and avoid weighty covers. Two years ago, I summarized factors that commonly interfere with a good night’s sleep, but a quick review, followed by some valuable new tips that have helped me, may help you too.
EXERCISE Physical activity leaves you tired, but if you do your workout within two or three hours of bedtime, you may be too revved up to fall asleep easily.
MEDICATION Many drugs, both prescription and over-the-counter, contain stimulating chemicals like pseudoephedrine and caffeine, commonly found in decongestants and painkillers. Beta-blockers, used to treat certain heart conditions and high blood pressure, may be disruptive as well. Ask your doctor if you can use an alternative drug.
FOOD AND DRINK Eating a big meal close to bedtime can be a problem, especially if you are prone to indigestion. Drinking a caffeinated beverage late in the day can disturb the sleep of anyone who has not developed a tolerance to caffeine by drinking too much of it. Caffeine’s stimulating effects can last for six to eight hours and make it hard to fall asleep or cause middle-of-the-night wakefulness.
Alcohol may help you fall asleep, but when its effects wear off hours later, you may wake up and be unable to get back to sleep. (I and others I know find wine especially problematic and avoid drinking it with dinner.)
STRESS Anxiety, excessive stress and difficulty shutting out worries trigger the release of body chemicals that act as stimulants. Try a relaxing bedtime ritual like a hot bath, meditation or progressive muscle relaxation, starting at the toes and working up to your head. Or, odd though it may seem, try reading something dull.
If things you must remember or do the next day keep popping into your head, put a pad and pen next to the bed, write them down and then do your best to forget about them until morning.

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I-JUST-THOUGHT-THIS-WAS-INTERESTING DEPT
Actually I both thought it was interesting...AND also I know that many of my Moebius friends love coffee, coffee shops, etc.  Well, so, guess what--the buzz of a coffee shop not only can get you a good cup of joe; but it can also boost your creativity.  And now you can get that boost at home or in your office cubicle:

Pulling up a seat at your favorite coffee shop may be the most efficient way to write a paper or finish a work project. But now a new Web site lets you bring the coffee shop to your cubicle.
The site, called Coffitivity, was inspired by recent research showing that the whoosh of espresso machines and caffeinated chatter typical of most coffee shops creates just the right level of background noise to stimulate creativity. The Web site, which is free, plays an ambient coffee shop soundtrack that, according to researchers, helps people concentrate.
In a series of experiments that looked at the effects of noise on creative thinking, researchers at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign had participants brainstorm ideas for new products while they were exposed to varying levels of background noise. Their results, published in The Journal of Consumer Research, found that a level of ambient noise typical of a bustling coffee shop or a television playing in a living room, about 70 decibels, enhanced performance compared with the relative quiet of 50 decibels.
A higher level of noise, however, about 85 decibels, roughly the noise level generated by a blender or a garbage disposal, was too distracting, the researchers found.
Ravi Mehta, an assistant professor of business administration at the university who led the research, said that extreme quiet tends to sharpen your focus, which can prevent you from thinking in the abstract.
“This is why if you’re too focused on a problem and you’re not able to solve it,” Dr. Mehta said, “you leave it for some time and then come back to it and you get the solution.”
But moderate levels can distract people just enough so that they think more broadly. “It helps you think outside the box,” he said.
The benefits of moderate noise, however, apply only to creative tasks. Projects that require paying close attention to detail, like proofreading a paper or doing your taxes, Dr. Mehta said, are performed better in quiet environments.
In other studies, he and his colleagues have found that exposure to certain colors can play a role as well. Switching the color of your computer’s background screen to blue enhances performance on creative tasks, for example, while making it red helps with detail-oriented tasks. Large, open rooms with high ceilings may also promote creative thinking, they found.
The creators of the Coffitivity site struck upon their idea after brainstorming on an unrelated start-up in the Richmond, Va., area.
“We had been in and out of coffee shops, and we were getting really good work done,” said ACe Callwood, a founder of the site and the coordinator for entrepreneurship at the Virginia Commonwealth University business school.
One member of the team, Justin Kauszler, noticed that when he returned to his regular work space, in a subdued and sterile office, his productivity took a nose-dive. When Mr. Kauszler’s boss shot down his request to leave the office and work from a coffee shop, he and his colleagues decided that they would bring their favorite coffeehouses to their computers.
With some borrowed audio equipment in hand, they eventually hit on a spot with the ideal noise level, a place called Harrison Street Cafe.
“It had just the right mix of everything,” Mr. Callwood said. “You could get the coffee machine, and you had people talking and eating. It has two levels, and we got the vibe upstairs and downstairs.”
Coffitivity started on March 4, and that day it got about 120 page views. “I think our moms looked at it a hundred times,” Mr. Callwood joked.
Since then, traffic has “exploded,” he said. “Seoul, Korea, is our top user city. New York City is second, followed by London, L.A. and Chicago.”
Mr. Callwood and his colleagues at Coffitivity say they are now in the process of creating an app and adding new coffee shop soundtracks tailored to specific countries.
“Australians apparently hate American accents,” he said. “We have Australians asking us for different audio sounds.
“We had a rabbi reach out and say, ‘Hey, there’s a Jewish learning center that has this very distinctive sound in Hebrew,’ and he asked if we could put that kind of audio on the site. We told him that if he could get us the audio, we’ll use it.”

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"Someone is enjoying shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago."--Warren Buffett

WHY YOU NEED YOUR SLEEP
I return to this subject occasionally; both because I know that some of my friends out there, whether they have Moebius or not, sometimes struggle in getting enough sleep.  But getting enough sleep is important--read on:

Think you do just fine on five or six hours of shut-eye? Chances are, you are among the many millions who unwittingly shortchange themselves on sleep.
Research shows that most people require seven or eight hours of sleep to function optimally. Failing to get enough sleep night after night can compromise your health and may even shorten your life. From infancy to old age, the effects of inadequate sleep can profoundly affect memory, learning, creativity, productivity and emotional stability, as well as your physical health.
According to sleep specialists at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine and Western Psychiatric Institute and Clinic, among others, a number of bodily systems are negatively affected by inadequate sleep: the heart, lungs and kidneys; appetite, metabolism and weight control; immune function and disease resistance; sensitivity to pain; reaction time; mood; and brain function.
Poor sleep is also a risk factor for depression and substance abuse, especially among people with post-traumatic stress disorder, according to Anne Germain, associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Pittsburgh. People with PTSD tend to relive their trauma when they try to sleep, which keeps their brains in a heightened state of alertness.
Dr. Germain is studying what happens in the brains of sleeping veterans with PTSD in hopes of developing more effective treatments for them and for people with lesser degrees of stress that interfere with a good night’s sleep.
The elderly are especially vulnerable. Timothy H. Monk, who directs the Human Chronobiology Research Program at Western Psychiatric, heads a five-year federally funded study of circadian rhythms, sleep strength, stress reactivity, brain function and genetics among the elderly. “The circadian signal isn’t as strong as people get older,” he said.
He is finding that many are helped by standard behavioral treatments for insomnia, like maintaining a regular sleep schedule, avoiding late-in-day naps and caffeine, and reducing distractions from light, noise and pets.
It should come as no surprise that myriad bodily systems can be harmed by chronically shortened nights. “Sleep affects almost every tissue in our bodies,” said Dr. Michael J. Twery, a sleep specialist at the National Institutes of Health.
Several studies have linked insufficient sleep to weight gain. Not only do night owls with shortchanged sleep have more time to eat, drink and snack, but levels of the hormone leptin, which tells the brain enough food has been consumed, are lower in the sleep-deprived while levels of ghrelin, which stimulates appetite, are higher.
In addition, metabolism slows when one’s circadian rhythm and sleep are disrupted; if not counteracted by increased exercise or reduced caloric intake, this slowdown could add up to 10 extra pounds in a year.
The body’s ability to process glucose is also adversely affected, which may ultimately result in Type 2 diabetes. In one study, healthy young men prevented from sleeping more than four hours a night for six nights in a row ended up with insulin and blood sugar levels like those of people deemed prediabetic. The risks of cardiovascular diseases and stroke are higher in people who sleep less than six hours a night. Even a single night of inadequate sleep can cause daylong elevations in blood pressure in people with hypertension. Inadequate sleep is also associated with calcification of coronary arteries and raised levels of inflammatory factors linked to heart disease. (In terms of cardiovascular disease, sleeping too much may also be risky. Higher rates of heart disease have been found among women who sleep more than nine hours nightly.)
The risk of cancer may also be elevated in people who fail to get enough sleep. A Japanese study of nearly 24,000 women ages 40 to 79 found that those who slept less than six hours a night were more likely to develop breast cancer than women who slept longer. The increased risk may result from diminished secretion of the sleep hormone melatonin. Among participants in the Nurses Health Study, Eva S. Schernhammer of Harvard Medical School found a link between low melatonin levels and an increased risk of breast cancer.
A study of 1,240 people by researchers at Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland found an increased risk of potentially cancerous colorectal polyps in those who slept fewer than six hours nightly.
Children can also experience hormonal disruptions from inadequate sleep. Growth hormone is released during deep sleep; it not only stimulates growth in children, but also boosts muscle mass and repairs damaged cells and tissues in both children and adults.
Dr. Vatsal G. Thakkar, a psychiatrist affiliated with New York University, recently described evidence associating inadequate sleep with an erroneous diagnosis of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder in children. In one study, 28 percent of children with sleep problems had symptoms of the disorder, but not the disorder.
During sleep, the body produces cytokines, cellular hormones that help fight infections. Thus, short sleepers may be more susceptible to everyday infections like colds and flu. In a study of 153 healthy men and women, Sheldon Cohen and colleagues at Carnegie Mellon University found that those who slept less than seven hours a night were three times as likely to develop cold symptoms when exposed to a cold-causing virus than were people who slept eight or more hours.
Some of the most insidious effects of too little sleep involve mental processes like learning, memory, judgment and problem-solving. During sleep, new learning and memory pathways become encoded in the brain, and adequate sleep is necessary for those pathways to work optimally. People who are well rested are better able to learn a task and more likely to remember what they learned. The cognitive decline that so often accompanies aging may in part result from chronically poor sleep.
With insufficient sleep, thinking slows, it is harder to focus and pay attention, and people are more likely to make poor decisions and take undue risks. As you might guess, these effects can be disastrous when operating a motor vehicle or dangerous machine.
In driving tests, sleep-deprived people perform as if drunk, and no amount of caffeine or cold air can negate the ill effects.
At your next health checkup, tell your doctor how long and how well you sleep. Be honest: Sleep duration and quality can be as important to your health as your blood pressure and cholesterol level.

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CULTURE WATCH
Some good news--here's a TV tip:

A beauty pageant just for girls with disabilities is the subject of a new documentary set to premiere on HBO.

The documentary “Miss You Can Do It” premieres on HBO June 24. (Courtesy: HBO)

The film focuses on the Miss You Can Do It pageant held annually in Kewanee, Ill. The unique event brings together girls with mental and physical disabilities from across the country who are judged on “what is in their heart and not by how their outfits look.”
Abbey Curran — who has cerebral palsy and represented Iowa in the 2008 Miss USA pageant — started the event in 2004.
The documentary, which is also called “Miss You Can Do It,” follows Curran and highlights the experiences of eight girls with disabilities ranging from spina bifida and cerebral palsy to Down syndrome as they compete in the pageant where everyone leaves with a trophy and a crown.
“I hope that my Miss You Can Do It girls leave this pageant knowing that, okay, we might fall down, or someone might stare at us, but I just did something amazing. Something that not very many people get to experience,” Curran said in a statement.
“Miss You Can Do It” premieres on HBO on June 24 at 9 p.m. ET.

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"Visualize this thing you want.  See it, feel it, believe in it.  Make your mental blueprint and begin."--Robert Collier

MOEBIUS SYNDROME IN THE NEWS
And this time it's in the news from the UK--look at the inventive way Moebius mom Kim Eastwell came up with to raise money for her son, Cody; and look at the way Cody's grandmother pitched in!:

They may be used to the heights of the Hornet and Skyraker, but staff from Flambards’ One2eleven play area experienced an all new high when they jumped from a plane at 10,000 feet.
Susie Hale, Sharan Tattersall and Haley Perrin took the leap of faith to raise cash for the Moebius Trust, which supports Sharan’s grandson Cody.
The two-year-old suffers from the debilitating Moebius Syndrome and his mum, Kim Eastwell, joined the skydive over Perranporth Airfield. Together the group raised £2,000.
This fundraiser was the latest to be organised at the Helston-based attraction, but it was the most daring so far – particularly because for Sharan and Kim it was their first ever experience in a plane.
The cost of making the tandem jump with the Cornwall Parachute Club was covered by One2eleven, meaning all the money raised goes to the charity.
The four girls had just half an hour’s briefing and basic training before making the 20-minute flight to 10,000 feet, where they then left the plane, strapped to an instructor, to free-fall for 30 seconds before the parachute opened.
Susie, the marketing director of One2eleven, said: “It was amazing – an out of body experience. I felt completely calm. Once the parachute had opened it was really quiet and you could look down and really appreciate the stunning view.
“On top of all the fun, we raised a good chunk of money for the Moebius Trust and hopefully awareness of the syndrome.”
Moebius Syndrome is a rare congenital disorder for which there is no known cure. It is believed there are around only 200 cases in the UK, which means very few people are aware of the condition.
It affects nerves in the brain, causing facial paralysis and other disabilities. In Cody’s case, he is unable to smile, frown or blink. He also has some weakness on the left side of his body.
The Moebius Trust and its supporters are currently working to raise £250,000 for a research programme to determine what causes the disability.
Kim said: “I’m so grateful to Susie, her family, who own Flambards and One2eleven, all the staff there as well as the staff at both RNAS Culdrose and Travis Perkins in Helston who have all been so supportive and generous. Every event we hold makes a difference.”

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“Genius is 1 percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration.”--Thomas Edison

IN HONOR OF FATHER'S DAY...
I bet this article describes most Moebius dads to a T.  Does it, guys?  Read on:


If there’s one word we might use to describe modern fatherhood, it would be: busy.
In an average week, modern dads are spending nearly triple the time on direct child care, and more than double the time on housework, than their fathers or grandfathers did in the 1960s, according to a Pew Research Center analysis of the Census Bureau data on how Americans spend their time.
They're no slouches at the home, office, farm or factory, either. If they are employed, chances are they are putting in more than 40 hours at work, too.
“Fathers are much more involved today in their children’s lives than they were five decades ago,” said Wendy Wang, a research associate at Pew Research Center who co-authored the comprehensive report on parenting.
The shift has come as more moms have started working, but that doesn’t mean dads feel like they are obligated to take on more child-rearing duties.
Instead, Fred Van Deusen, senior research associate at the Boston College Center for Work and Family, said his research has shown that many dads want very much to be involved in their kids’ lives. They’d like to spend more time with their kids, but they also feel the pressure to succeed at work.
“There’s still a lot of societal pressure on dads to be breadwinners,” Van Deusen said.
The Pew analysis found that in an average week in 2011, dads with children under 18 in the home spent 7.3 hours a week on direct child care, which would include things like changing diapers to helping with homework. That compares to 2.5 hours on average in 1965.
Meanwhile, they spent an average of 9.8 hours a week on housework in 2011, up from about four hours a week in 1965.
Dads also worked an average of 37.1 hours a week in 2011, compared with around 42 hours in 1965.
Wang said the drop is mainly coming from a decline in the number of dads who were working as compared to 1965, because of the weak job market and other factors. Employed dads worked 41.4 hours a week on average in 2011, down slightly from 43 hours in 2007.
Taken together, dads on average are now spending about five hours more per week on child care, housework and paid work than they did in the 1960s.
Nevertheless, moms still are doing much more child care and housework than dads, and dads are still doing much more paid work than moms.
“There is still a significant gap … even though we see the roles of moms and dads are converging,” Wang said.

 

All this comes as no surprise to Carl Poff.
Poff, 42, jokes that he has about 40 minutes of free time a day -- which would be his round-trip commute to and from his job as a corrections officer.
One recent afternoon, he finished up his shift at the jail and immediately hopped in his car to go pick up his 7-year-old stepdaughter from the bus stop.
From there, it was off to his in-laws to gather his 4-year-old daughter, followed by a quick stop at the grocery store before getting homework done, making dinner and getting the girls to T-ball.
His wife typically gets home between 6 p.m. and 7 p.m., after a day that includes at least two hours commuting to and from her job at the corporate offices of a major telecommunications company. Together, they have dinner and get some quality time with the kids before they go to bed.
After the kids are asleep, the Easton, Pa., couple turns to other chores, like dishes and laundry.
“It’s just how our schedule works,” Carl Poff said.
His wife, Jennifer, 34, said the household wouldn’t function if they didn’t have a partnership in which Carl regularly did things like laundry, making lunches and ferrying the kids to sports practices.
“It’s just part of him being a dad. That’s what he does,” she said.
Still, Jennifer said her husband’s daily involvement still seems unusual in their neighborhood, where other moms often compliment her for finding such a helpful husband.
“A lot of dads don’t do that, and I, like, absolutely love him for it,” she said.
Chances are, Jennifer also is busier than moms were in 1965.
In an average week in 2011, modern moms spent more time on child care than they did in 1965: 13.5 hours a week, on average, compared with about 10 hours a week in 1965.
Modern moms also spent about 21 hours a week at paid work, on average, up from about eight hours a week in 1965. But the amount of time moms spent on housework fell by nearly half, from an average of 31 hours per week in 1965 to 18 hours per week in 2011.
Even as dads are taking on more responsibility around the house, Van Deusen, the Boston College researcher, said societal expectations about mom and dad’s roles have been slow to change. That could explain why, even now, relatively few dads stay home full time.
There were about 189,000 stay-at-home dads to kids under age 15 in 2012, according to the latest data from the U.S. Census Bureau. That compares with more than 5 million stay-at-home moms with kids under 15.
Van Deusen, who has studied stay-at-home dads extensively, said many couples decide the husband should stay home because he makes less money, and were happy with the arrangement.
“It turned out it was working pretty well for them, but the people around them had a lot more difficulties than they did,” Van Deusen said.

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I-JUST-THOUGHT-THIS-WAS-INTERESTING DEPT
Speaking of health, now here's wild new idea for a diet--though I'm certainly not putting it up here to advocate for it.  Sounds a little risky and questionable to me.  But I'm sure it sounds attractive to lots of folks.  Read on if you're curious about the eat-anything-you-want-for-5-days, but...diet:

Forget abandoning carbohydrates or detoxing. The new dieting craze sweeping Britain and taking off in the United States lets people eat whatever they like - but only five days a week.
"The Fast Diet", also known as the 5:2 diet, is the brainchild of TV medical journalist Michael Mosley and journalist Mimi Spencer and allows people to eat what they want for five days but only eat 600 calories a day on the other two.
Their book, "The Fast Diet", has topped bestselling book lists in Britain and the United States this year and been reprinted more than a dozen times.
Mosley said the diet is based on work by British and U.S. scientists who found intermittent fasting helped people lose more fat, increase insulin sensitivity and cut cholesterol which should mean reduced risk of heart disease and diabetes.
He tried this eating regime for a BBC television science programme called "Eat, Fast, Live Longer" last August after finding out his cholesterol level was too high and his blood sugar in the diabetic range. He was stunned by the results.
"I started doing intermittent fasting a year ago, lost 8 kgs (18 pounds) of fat over 3 months and my blood results went back to normal," Mosley told Reuters.
Mosley said he had been amazed at the way the diet had taken off with a list of websites set up by followers of the 5:2 diet or variations of the eating regime to share their experiences.
Following the success of "The Fast Diet", Spencer joined forces with dietitian Sarah Schenker to bring out "The Fast Diet Recipe Book" in April which has topped amazon.co.uk's food and drink list with 150 recipes containing under 300 calories.
Eating a 600 calorie daily diet - about a quarter of a normal healthy adult's intake - could consist of two eggs for breakfast, grilled chicken and lettuce for lunch, and fish with rice noodles for dinner with nothing to drink but water, black coffee or tea.
One day at a time
Mosley put the diet's success down to the fact it is psychologically attractive and leads to steady drop in weight with an average weekly loss of 1 pound (0.46kg) for women and slightly more for men.
"The problem with standard diets is that you feel like you are constantly having to exercise restraint and that means you are thinking about food all the time, which becomes self-defeating," said Mosley.
"On this regime you are only really on a diet two days a week. It is also extremely flexible and simple."
Britain's National Health Service (NHS) initially expressed doubts about the diet and its long-term effects, saying side effects could include sleeping difficulties, bad breath, irritability, anxiety, and daytime sleepiness.
But as the popularity of the 5:2 diet has grown and become one of the most searched diets on the Internet, the NHS has started to look again at the diet and its effects.
On its website last month the NHS said the British Dietetic Association (BDA) reviewed a 2011 study by researchers at the UK's University Hospital of South Manchester that suggested intermittent fasting could help lower the risk of certain obesity-related cancers such as breast cancer.
"The increasing popularity of the 5:2 diet should lead to further research of this kind," the BDA said in a statement.
Schenker, a sports and media dietitian who works with football clubs and food companies, said it was a shame that the NHS had criticized the eating regime that had proved such a success with so many people.
"We are in the midst of an obesity crisis and you need to balance up which is worse - intermittent fasting of staying obese?" Schenker told Reuters.
Despite concerns raised by the NHS, the 5:2 diet has been widely praised by those who follow it.
Deb Thomas, 50, a management coach from London, said she has followed the diet for six months and dropped a couple of dress sizes. This has also inspired her husband to join her in fasting two days a week.
"It is such an easy diet to follow that fits into my way of life," Thomas said. "You have a tough day of not eating but you know the next day you can eat normally again, and that keeps you going."

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"You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere.  You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection."--Buddha 

MISS AMERICA CONTESTANT HELPS PUT SPOTLIGHT ON PHYSICAL DIFFERENCES
In case you have not seen this--the newly-crowned Miss Iowa will be one of the competitors this year for the Miss America crown.  And she can help draw attention to those who have a physical difference--because she, like many others--including those with Moebius--has one herself:

A recent college graduate with special needs will compete in the Miss America pageant this fall with a platform focusing on overcoming disabilities.

Nicole Kelly, 23, was named Miss Iowa on Saturday and will compete in the Miss America pageant this fall. (Courtesy: Miss Iowa Scholarship Program/Facebook)

Nicole Kelly, 23, was named Miss Iowa on Saturday. According to her biography, Kelly was born without her left forearm and plans to use her new position to speak out about disabilities and spotlight VSA, a program she participated in which provides opportunities in the arts for people with special needs.
“As I grew up I learned to counterbalance the initial stares I received from people with an outgoing personality that would not give in to ‘no,’” Kelly said in her bio.
“This means that I tried everything. From baseball, to dance, to diving — there is nothing I would not try. I found my passion within a world where I was giving people permission to stare: the stage,” she said.
Kelly has a degree in directing and theater management from the University of Nebraska-Lincoln and just finished working on the Broadway play “The Assembled Parties.”
With her new crown, Kelly will compete for the title of Miss America in the national pageant Sept. 15 in Atlantic City, N.J.
Kelly’s win comes on the heels of Alexis Wineman’s appearance in the last Miss America competition. As Miss Montana, Wineman was the first contestant with autism in the national pageant’s history.

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Good for her!

"The soul should always stand ajar, ready to welcome the ecstatic experience."--Emily Dickinson

FOR MOEBIUS MOMS AND DADS:  "DADDY GUILT"?
Do any of you dads out there have it?  This interesting piece details what it means...and what you can do about it:

Disappoint your boss or disappoint your child? It’s a painful dilemma working women have had to confront for decades, but now men are discovering a similar work-life balance conundrum.
They're changing diapers and attending soccer games, so it's no surprise that in a recent Redbook poll, 40 percent of moms described their husbands as "extremely" hands-on fathers, and 72 percent said their husbands were striving to be better dads than their fathers were -- and succeeding.
But the magazine also found many men were torn between obligations to their job and their desire to be there for their kids.
Redbook dubbed the phenomenon “The New Daddy Guilt,” describing it this way: “He works! He nurtures! He's exhausted. But today's working dads still don't feel they're doing enough, well enough. Sound familiar, moms?” (It should: In a 2011 TODAY Moms and Parenting.com survey, 1 in 5 moms said she’d choose a more flexible career if she could have a “do-over.")
“Sixty percent of men say they feel major conflict between work and family,” Jill Herzig, the editor-in-chief of Redbook, told the TODAY anchors.
“The average amount of time that a man works is 47 hours a week. So if he also wants to be a really meaningful part of his children’s lives and be there for those milestones and those daily events, there’s going to be a terrible push-pull.”
There are ways to ease “Daddy guilt” and make the most of family time, said John Duffy, a psychologist and parenting expert.
First, dads should keep up to date with their kids’ schedules, Duffy advised. Many fathers don’t know what activities are on their children’s calendar only to find out at the 11th hour that there’s a recital that night, for example. It’s not something that was on their radar, so they can’t make it.
Second, men should check in with their wives about what kind of a job they’re doing as a dad, Duffy said. Sometimes a father may think, “I changed a diaper today and I did a little laundry, that seems about half,” but it may not be enough, he added.
The most important message to dads: Find your moments and make the best of them.
“You’ve got to protect time to be with your kids. You’re not getting to get all the moments you want, so you need to take the moments you get: be fully present, turn the phone off, leave work at home,” Duffy said.
Meanwhile, there are signs that many employers are becoming more aware of both parents’ needs to get some flex time and telecommuting opportunities.
“Technology is really helping with this and I think offices are realizing that you can work from home very effectively,” Herzig said.
“But I would say it’s not moving fast enough and both men and women have to really argue for and prove that they can be there doing their job even if they are also on the way to a soccer match or doing other things that their parenting responsibilities require.”

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"The greatest discovery of our generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.  As you think, so shall you be."--William James

MORE MUSINGS ON THE SMILE SURGERY, "QUALITY OF LIFE", ETC

You know, I was reading recently about the smile surgery, the possibility that it could be done for a young child with Moebius Syndrome, and so forth.  And of course I am glad that the possibility of the smile surgery is out there.  I am glad that, for those who really want to smile, who want that opportunity, it can be made to happen for them.  And I know that parents of children with Moebius are glad that the possibility of being able to smile will perhaps be there for their children.  Please don't read this as denigrating that possibility at all.  I don't mean to do so.

But in reading one of the articles I came across, something struck me.  One of the doctors doing the surgeries these days said this:  that he was glad to be able to improve "the quality of life" for these children.

Now, on the surface, that would appear to be a kind of an obvious thing to say, not controversial at all, right?  He wants to help these children.  He believes the smile surgery will do so, and improve their lives.  What's wrong with that?  Well, nothing.  But in thinking about it, I thought:  you know, this topic is actually more complicated than people think.

For example:  I'm 51 years old now.  I've never been able to smile.  Never.  Yet I really don't believe that it has seriously harmed my "quality of life."  I mean, I'm married with a great family.  I have an advanced degree.  I teach, which I enjoy doing.  I've been able to do lots of things and go lots of places.  I live in a great country; etc etc etc.  Not being able to smile really hasn't held me back much at all.

And I know other adults with Moebius feel the same way.  Many of us could look into and maybe even undergo the smile surgery.  But we choose not to.  We are who we are.  We've adjusted to our lives.  We like them.  We accept who we are and are comfortable in our own skin.  Obviously we don't feel horribly let down or harmed by not being able to smile.

Now, having said that, I also have to add:  still, there _have_ been times when I wished I had more facial expression.  Not even necessarily a smile.  But sometimes I've wished I could wink, or frown, or look out of the corner of my eye, or exchange a more knowing glance with someone.  Something like that!  There are people who can say a million words with just one look.  That's harder for us to do.  Sometimes I miss that.  And so I completely understand when someone really wants that ability to smile, who doesn't have it.  Smiles can say a lot, too.

But I guess where I come down is this:  persons with Moebius Syndrome are great people, whether they can smile or not.  And you--persons with Moebius, their friends, their families--should love and accept yourself, accept them, whether they can smile or not.  We're OK, whether we can smile or not.  If you want to smile and want to undergo the surgery, great!  But don't feel like your quality of life is necessarily irreparably harmed because you can not smile, and/or have not had the surgery.  And families and friends of those with Moebius should not feel that we are necessarily suffering horribly because we cannot smile.

Because plenty of us with Moebius can tell you--you can have a great life, even if your smile has to come from the heart.

FOR MOEBIUS MOMS AND DADS:  THERE'S AN APP FOR THAT
For how to get up-to-date health info and reminders, that can help you take care of your kiddo.  Cool stuff--there's 3 great new apps, actually:

Three new apps provide evidence-based healthy hints for raising children ages 1 to 5. For example: “Don’t forget it’s time for your child’s 1-year checkup! The doctor will talk to you about how your child is growing and what to expect this year.”
The winners of the Apps4TotsHealth Challenge were announced on Monday in Washington at Health Datapalooza IV, an annual conference sponsored by the Health Data Consortium, a mix of government and private groups, which focuses on using publicly available data to improve health.
All three apps make use of a resource newly available to the public: the TXT4Tots message library developed with the American Academy of Pediatrics. The message library is a bank of tested tips on healthy eating and physical activity, downloadable as a spreadsheet — not an easy thing to integrate into daily life.
Enter the three winning apps, all free.

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Dave Vockell

myfamily, by LyfeChannel, based in San Francisco. Available now on iPhone, and soon in Spanish and on Android.
This mobile app encourages parents to manage family health with customized recommendations based on each family member’s profile.
Last month, the app incorporated preventive care recommendations from the United States Preventive Services Task Force and others, and it now includes the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s pediatric vaccine calendar and the TXT4Tots nutrition and physical activity messages. Users receive text messages as often as every day, in the form of a graphically engaging tip on parenting, nutrition or exercise, or a reminder about a doctor’s visit. Some messages include links to additional information, like healthfinder.gov content related to the well-child visits.

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TotBytes, by Dan Lee, based in Chicago. Available now on iPhone, and later this year in Spanish and on Android.

Dan Lee

“It’s like GPS for parenting,” says Dan Lee, creator of TotBytes and founder of Breakpoint Health. The mobile app provides the TXT4Tots nutrition and physical activity content as well as the Institute of Medicine’s recommendations for nutrient intake.
TotBytes includes personalized tools and a community of parents to interact with around best recipes, shared challenges and Food and Drug Administration recalls. Users can select items from a pantry, generate age-appropriate meal plans and receive notices about when and what to feed their children, as well as warnings of what not to feed them.
With the personalized reporting tool, parents and caregivers can then record what children eat and evaluate how well they are balancing meal composition and providing nutrients on a given day or week.
As a “mobile dad” himself, Mr. Lee says not only that parents are “at their most cognitively challenged (tired, in a new situation)” during a child’s first few years, but that those years are a critical window for obesity prevention.
“This is really our effort to tackle the problem at the root cause,” Mr. Lee says.

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Scott Lininger

Super Mommy’O, by Scott Lininger, based in Boulder, Colo. Available at supermommyo.com, only with Google Chrome.
If the name didn’t give it away, this is Super Mario for child rearing. The retro-looking game is currently a Web app only, as it evolved out of a side project the developer originally created for his young daughter. Now it is a fun way for parents to learn the TXT4Tots content.
“You play a mommy who has a 1-year-old kiddo, and you jump around, but instead of picking up coins, you pick up healthy foods and make healthy decisions for your kids,” Mr. Lininger says.
But, he warns, “You’ve got to dodge the doughnuts.” Doughnuts shot by robots, no less.

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"You have brains in your head.  You have feet in your shoes.  You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.  You're on your own.  And you know what you know.  You are the guy who'll decide where to go."--Theodore Seuss Geisel

AUTISM UPDATE
Some of you moms and dads will want to keep this in mind:

Almost one-third of children with autism also have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and symptoms appear to be more severe in kids affected by both conditions, new research suggests.

The findings come from a long-term study of 162 children who were tracked starting when they were still infants or toddlers. By the time the kids reached ages 4 through 8, researchers found that 63 had autism. Of those with the developmental disorder, parent reports indicated that 18 of the children — or about 29 percent — also had clinically significant symptoms of ADHD.

“We are increasingly seeing that these two disorders co-occur and a greater understanding of how they relate to each other could ultimately improve outcomes and quality of life for this subset of children,” said Rebecca Landa, director of the Center for Autism and Related Disorders at the Kennedy Krieger Institute and a senior author of the study published online Wednesday in the journal Autism.

Strikingly, children affected by both disorders were often more impaired than those with autism alone. Such kids were more than twice as likely to have significant cognitive delays, the study found, and they also had more struggles with social abilities and adaptive functioning.

Researchers behind the new study said that their findings are particularly significant because they followed children from a young age, thus reducing opportunities for bias. Other research on co-occurrence has traditionally looked at kids after their parents sought treatment, meaning that such studies may have focused on children with more pronounced symptoms.

“We focused on young school-aged children because the earlier we can identify this subset of children, the earlier we can design specialized interventions,” Landa said.

The findings come just weeks after a new version of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, or DSM, was released allowing for individuals to be diagnosed with both autism and ADHD simultaneously. The previous edition of the manual instructed doctors not to diagnosis the conditions in a "Suco-occurring fashion.

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"Success is not final, failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts."--Sir Winston Churchill

HEALTH UPDATE:  BETTER SLEEP THIS SUMMER
Here's some tips to help you get better slumber this summer season--because I know plenty of my Moebius friends (and others!) who are wanting to sleep better:

Editor's note: Nancy Rothstein consults and lectures on sleep wellness to leading corporations, the travel industry, universities, schools and other organizations. As an adjunct faculty member at New York University, Nancy teaches an online sleep course. She also serves as a member of the board of the American Sleep Apnea Association.

(CNN) -- With the start of summer, the opportunity to shift some focus from work routines to enjoying leisurely activities is officially upon us.

It's a time when we're more mindful about relaxation and open to improving aspects of health and wellness. One area that's so often neglected is sleep.

As temperatures rise this season, you may find yourself struggling to get comfortable on a humid night or unwinding after an action-filled day in the sun. You may also have a smartphone buzzing next to your pillow and distracting your mind from transcending into the REM sleep stage.

There are a number of variables, from the layout of your bedroom to the time you complete your workout, that can mean the difference between sleep deprivation and total rejuvenation.

Whether you're dozing on a hammock on a tropical vacation or trying to squeeze in a power nap after a long day in the office, a proper rhythm is key to making sure you're not accruing sleep debt. By following certain guidelines, you'll be able to function at an optimal level during moments of business and pleasure.

Here are a few tips to kick-start a restful summer.

Create your sleep sanctuary. The first step in your sleep journey is transforming your bedroom environment into a place for slumber, not an entertainment center or auxiliary office.

This means you'll want to keep your bedroom cool, dark and quiet. If you don't have an air conditioner, a high-powered fan will suffice. If your bedroom is not dark enough, try a comfortable sleep mask. If ambient noise is disturbing your sleep, you can opt for a pair of soft foam earplugs or a white-noise machine.

It's also important to honor your sleep by having a quality mattress, pillows and sheets. Think about how much money you spend on a car. Chances are you spend many more hours in your bed than you do your vehicle, so consider it an investment. And make sure you're wearing loose-fitting, comfortable sleepwear in a light material like linen or cotton.

Exercise for great sleep. A sunny summer day is the perfect backdrop for an outdoor workout. Exercising during the day supports sleep at night, but if you do not give yourself enough time to decompress (at least three hours), you will stimulate your body at the very time it needs to surrender to sleep.

Keep an eye on the partying. Party invitations will be coming your way this season, and having a good time is necessary. However, you must consider how this will impact your nightly rhythm. If you consume alcohol up to three hours before you hit the bed, you may fall asleep easier, but your sleep cycle will be disrupted. Instead, consider a sleep elixir such as chamomile tea with honey or warm almond milk.

Tune technology out. We're attached to our tech devices from the moment we open our eyes in the morning till we close them at night. For some of us, they're like an extra appendage.

The problem is that the blue spectrum light emitted by smartphones, iPads, laptops, desktops and TV sends a signal to our brain that we're not going to sleep. The release of melatonin, the sleep hormone, is inhibited, which can hinder our sleep quality and quantity. So, commit to turning off technology at least half an hour before bedtime to optimize your sleep.

Prepare for sleep. Once you've finally powered down all of the gadgets, what's the next step? Do you have a summer reading list? What are the books you want to read but never have the time?

Bedtime is a great time to practice relaxation techniques, including gentle yoga poses (try child's pose or savasana) and breathing techniques to calm the mind and body. Start by breathing slowly and deeply as you ease into slumber.

Another wonderful way to transition from a busy day and mind chatter is to develop a gratitude or prayer practice. As you lie still in bed, make a mental list of things you are grateful for, even having a comfortable bed.

Create a sleep schedule. Do you have a sleep disorder or wake up intermittently throughout the night? Create a consistent bedtime and wake time.

If you are taking sleep supplements, unless you are under a physician's direction, see if you still need them once you modify your sleep habits. If you suspect that you may have a sleep disorder, it is critical that you seek diagnosis and treatment with your physician or a sleep specialist.

Wherever you are and whatever you have planned for the summer, open your mind to embracing, understanding and practicing improved sleep rituals. These simple shifts will keep your well-being a top priority and allow you to maintain this lifestyle change.

 

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"Nature, by example, shows us anything worthwhile comes over time.  Anything worthwhile grows methodically, building on a strong foundation.  Develop a willingness to carry on despite roadblocks."--Jaren L. Davis

A NEW START

...kind of...for me, that is.  How so?  Well, the story is this:  recently I had oral surgery.  My old teeth had to come out.  And so now I have new (false) teeth.  So yes, that means I have kind of made a new start in life...in my mouth, no less.  Some of the back story:

Many of you know how it is.  Moebius Syndrome can be especially hard on one's teeth.  That was certainly the case, often, for me.  From my earliest days, my teeth always gave me some problems.  Some of them came in kind of funny from the start; my mouth and gums I think were shaped a little differently; therefore my teeth were a little bit harder to take care of from day 1; I surely did not always do the best job I could have in taking care of them (though I imagine many of us, with Moebius or no, could say something like that); and of course, to talk with Moebius--moving our mouth and our gums in order to say certain words--can affect our teeth as well.  Saying certain words means we have to move our mouth in a certain way; and sometimes that means our upper teeth will strike a certain lower tooth while we talk.  That's not always good for them.  It can lead to broken and lost teeth, etc etc...well, those of you who have Moebius know what I'm talking about.

Anyway, finally the time had come, something had to be done.  It was time for me to get new teeth.  So a couple of weeks ago the surgery came; and now I have...gasp!...dentures. 

Now first of all I don't want to kid anyone--if you don't absolutely have to go this route, I'd say--don't.  Best thing to do is:  take good care of your teeth!  Keep the ones you have.  Because when you first have this surgery, it first of all involves some days of pain.  And then, there's getting used to your new teeth--dealing with their unfamiliarity...trying to learn to eat with them (and having to stick first with soft foods---I still even now, two weeks out, can't eat anything too terribly hard or chewy; still lots of soft foods for me)...hoping that your new teeth will fit and getting used to the way they fit, and the way they feel...and of course--especially for me, given that I teach--learning how to once again talk normally with them.  I've had to learn certain things all over again.  For example:  for persons with Moebius, drinking liquids can sometimes be a bit of a trial, given that our mouths and lips don't move "normally", and we don't have full lip closure.  But I in my over 50 years of life had learned to drink stuff fairly well, without too much sloppiness.  But now, with these new teeth (that sometimes, especially early in the day, when you've just put them in, sometimes move around a bit) I had to kind of learn how to go about it in a bit of a different way.  I've had to learn to drink things differently (using big cups for some reason helps).  And in talking, there are certain things that I say that sound pretty normal--pretty much like they did before, prior to my getting my teeth.  But other things to me sound different, maybe a bit thicker, though I think it's getting better each day.  But it's definitely been an adjustment.

But the good news is that, well...it could definitely be a lot worse.  It was good to get what broken teeth, etc I had left, out of my mouth.  And I've tried to be very faithful in wearing these new teeth; you can't get used to them if you don't wear them.  But you do get used to them.  And as time goes on one does get the hang of talking more effectively with them.  As time goes on, they begin to feel a bit more normal.  And you know what I think has helped me--what, indeed, helps all of us with Moebius?

It's this:  look, we're used to this.  We're used to compensating.  We're used to trying to do "normal" things with the tools that we have, meaning we're used to adjusting.  We're used to trying to make it work.  We have to deal with new situations all the time--people who don't know us, situations we haven't been in before.  And we learn to deal.  We do it all the time.  It also helps to have good support.  My wife Lisa has been a big help.  The first full day I had my new teeth, I told her I didn't know if I could handle this...I was having a hard time talking, the teeth didn't seem to fit right.  Lisa told me to have patience, it would get better...and it has.  My son Ethan at first wondered what the deal was with my teeth; I think he wondered when I'd look again as I did before.  But I just told him that what happened was--the doctor had given me new teeth.  Wasn't it great?  That seemed to make sense to him.  When he pats me on the shoulder or something, he always takes care to assure me that he will not  touch me on my face; he knows it's still a bit tender. :+)

So, there are new beginnings, always.  This happens to be mine.  But I'm hanging in there and dealing as best I can.  But then that's what we all do, every day--right?  Whatever comes our way, we just try to find ways to handle it.

And you'll find your way, too.  As we smile from our hearts...always! :=)

I-JUST-THOUGHT-THIS-WAS-INTERESTING DEPT
I have a hunch this guy, writing in today's NY Times opinion section, isn't alone.  To him, summer is kind of a pain, sometimes literally.  Do you ever feel that way?  Are you fair-skinned, and get easily sunburned?  Do you dislike the heat and humidity?  If you have Moebius Syndrome and have serious physical differences, maybe it isn't always easy for you to be outside and to be active in the sun.  So do you always like summer?  Obviously there are indeed reasons to like it.  Pop culture today certainly celebrates it.  It's like you are supposed to like summer.  But do you?  Frank Bruni doesn't, and as I said, I have a hunch he isn't alone.  Take a read:

If my body is a buffet, summer is the server who rips the metal covers off the roast beef and the scalloped potatoes so that the hordes can start feeding. And feed they do, mosquitoes and ants and for all I know spiders. (I’m never sure which tiny glutton has made off with the most of me.)

A bite on my ankle recently grew so large and Vesuvian that I had to go to the dermatologist to make sure it wasn’t deadly.

“What’s this?” she gasped, and the scariest part was that she was looking at something else, on my back. There she discovered a sizable carcinoma, for which summer — not the current one, but all the punishingly sunny ones past — can also be thanked.

The calendar says that the season doesn’t officially begin for another two and a half weeks, but it functionally started on Memorial Day weekend. Not long after, the temperature in New York City hit 90 degrees on two afternoons in a row. If that’s a mere prologue to summer, please speed me to the index. The sweat-stained pages in between promise to be unbearable.

Then again they usually are, all the more so because of the forced cheer. With fireworks and Ferris wheels, watermelon and water parks, we’re constantly being exhorted to wring summer for all it’s worth. No other season matches it for meteorological bullying.

“Are you ready for summer?” “Any special plans for the summer?” Unlike fall or spring, summer is always getting italics like that. I want to meet its publicist.

Because I have questions. Why, year after year, do magazines yammer on and on about what the song of the summer will be, as if it’s a coronation with actual consequence? Winter doesn’t have a song. If it did, it sure wouldn’t be sung by the preternaturally peppy likes of Katy Perry.

Does summer have to be so grammatically piggy, a vain noun with adjectival delusions? Summer vacation. Summer rental. Summer stage. Summer stock. Summer lover. Summer fling. Summer nights. Summer breeze.

And summer movies, God help us, which are a dopey and clangorous breed apart. If they’re not sequels, they’re sequels to sequels or reboots of franchises I thought we’d booted to the curb long ago. In May alone we had our third “Hangover” and our third “Iron Man,” and we were “Fast & Furious” for a sixth time. The “Man of Steel” is en route, with “The Lone Ranger” and “The Wolverine” fast on his airborne heels. Summer is rush hour for superheroes.

Speaking of which, did you know that traffic fatalities go up markedly in summer? The murder rate rises, too. It’s a mean season, even leaving the sun to the side. People drown, are struck by lightning and wear seersucker. I realize that the last item doesn’t really fit with the previous two, but it’s another potent argument against summer, and I had to put it in somewhere.

Perhaps my summer sourness is a function of aging, by which I mean my own, not the earth’s. Summer works best for the young. When you’re on the far side of 45, you and almost everyone you know looks appreciably better in a parka than in a tank top, and the sentence “I’d like to see more of you” concerns frequency, not swimsuits and open-toed shoes.

Or maybe I’m reacting to climate change and to the chilling prospect, or rather the blistering one, that an intolerable season could become a quasi-permanent one.

In a sonnet that assessed summer, Shakespeare acknowledged, “Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines.” That was more than 400 years ago, so I’ll update the line in accordance with global warming and modern commerce: “Always doth I feel like a French fry under a McDonald’s heat lamp.”

That sentiment holds true already from late May through early September. What if the period grows longer, to five or six or even seven months of the year? I don’t have that many sandals, and I can’t imagine that many bug bites.

My dermatologist biopsied the Vesuvian one, only to determine that it would eventually shrink if I stopped scratching it, for which she gave me an ointment that has proved completely useless.

For the carcinoma, I’ll get surgery and a bevy of stitches. And then, I’m told, all will be well, except that one carcinoma often presages others, especially for those of us whose pale skin and delicate natures aren’t suited to a brutal season of excessive heat and extravagant light. My body isn’t just a buffet. It’s a skin-cancer farm, and summer its fertilizer.

I asked her what I should do about that.

“Wear hats,” she said. “Cover up. Stay out of the sun.”

In winter, that would be a cinch. In summer, it’s no breeze. 

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CONTINUING TO SPEAK UP
A boy with autism cries during his hair cut; the salon owner is very insensitive...and now she's wishing she'd behaved a lot better:

When a Michigan boy with autism cried during a recent haircut, his mother reportedly got an earful from the salon owner. Now, the story has gone viral prompting a boycott of the business.

Ashley Bays says she took her son, Grayson, 2, for a haircut Saturday at the M Spa Salon and Day Spa in Portage, Mich. Though the boy had been to the salon before — and exhibited similar behavior — Bays tells MLive/Kalamazoo Gazette that this is the first time she’s had any problems.

According to a Facebook posting from a fellow salon patron, the boy was crying during his haircut, but was not a bother.

“All of a sudden a lady stormed into the portion of the spa we were sitting in and proceeded to give the mom a severe tongue lashing,” reads the Facebook posting from Vanessa Hunt, which has been shared more than 34,000 times. “It got silent in the room besides the woman ranting to the mother. It was seriously painful to watch.”

“At the conclusion of this woman’s tantrum to the mother the mother said through tears, ‘I’m so sorry, he’s autistic,’” Hunt wrote.

The woman who allegedly approached Bays was later identified as Michelle Mott, the owner of the salon.

Hunt’s posting indicates that the hairstylist followed Bays and her son outside and proceeded to finish the boy’s haircut on the lawn of the salon.

Since the incident, a separate Facebook page calling for a boycott of the M Spa has more than 9,000 likes.

However, the salon owner insists that no wrongdoing occurred. In a statement to MLive/Kalamazoo Gazette, her attorney called the Facebook postings “inaccurate” and said the incident was handled “appropriately,” adding that “spa ownership addressed a situation which posed both an immediate, increasing safety concern to the child and a concern for other spa patrons.”

Subsequently, Mott posted a statement of her own on her business’ website apologizing to the family and asking those who are calling for a boycott to consider the impact on her employees.

“I want to say that my actions were not intended to create any hardship or embarrassment for little Grayson or his parents. And while I believed that Grayson’s parents understood that, when Mrs. Bays stayed for her highlight and cut at our spa right after Grayson had left with his father, I want to reassure the Bays family of this point. I apologize to Grayson and the Bays for any embarrassment or hardship that they have experienced by my actions,” reads the statement."

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Well, maybe there was a lesson learned, then...