UNCOMFORTABLE PEOPLE
So today, let's talk about people--people who are uncomfortable.  People who are uncomfortable, that is, around you--around you, the individual who has Moebius Syndrome or any other kind of physical difference.  Lisa and I were talking about this the other day, about someone whom we know who may just be a little uptight around us.

If you have Moebius or anything similar, you know the type of person we mean.  This is the person who you know; who, because of work or where you live or other circumstances, you are around relatively frequently.  But this is the individual who, no matter how hard you try to be friendly to him or her and to be sure and speak to her or acknowledge him, he or she just never has too much to say in response, and never looks that--well, comfortable--talking to you. 

I've always thought that there were just some people itwho are, well, "like that"; ya know?  There are some people who just have a hard time dealing with fwho are different, who look different, who don't fit within the usual, comfortable, well-established "type."  They just don't like it.  Unfortunately I think those kinds of people are very susceptible, then, to various prejudices.

Of course, then the natural quesrtion comes up:  what can someone with Moebius, or any other difference, do about something like this?  How do we handle it?  Here's what I think:  1] Don't think that you can easily "change" the other person, the one whose uncomfortable around you.  Such an attitude gets built up through years of conditioning and various influences.  Not much one can do about that.  Except this:  continue to be yourself; continue to be polite; and maybe over time this other person will come to realize there's nothing so much to be scared of, after all.  Maybe.  2] At the same time, remember that others' attitudes don't define you.  You are who you are.  Others' prejudices don't make you a bad person.  Never let another's aloofness ruin your day.  It's not worth it.  Don't grant it that power. 

And 3] Remember how many people there really are out there who will accept you, who won't and don't let your physical differences from them affect how they see you and respond to you.  Remember that you do have non-Moebius friends and acquaintances who don't care that you have it; who see you as a person, not as "the other."  I can still remember talking once with a co-worker of mine from years ago; I'd never really mentioned Moebius to her, until once I did because I was about to go to a summer Moebius conference, so of course I talked about what that was all about.  And I remember she told me that honestly, she'd never thought of me as someone who was different or had a condition; to her I was just Kevin.

And there are plenty of people like that.  Even when you encounter one who isn't, remember--it doesn't matter.  Their attitudes don't demean you at all.

“Patience - the gift of being able to see past the emotion.--Rodney Williams