BEING ASSERTIVE...AND FEELING GOOD ABOUT IT
Let's face it--one of the problems with having Moebius Syndrome is that looking different, as we do, and dealing with the world's reaction to it, can make us shy.  We're not as assertive as we could be, or as we sometimes need to be--with family, at work, with friends.  But it's something many of us need to work on, as not only can help us be more successful in the world, but it can also help us feel better, as this excerpt from a story online today lays out:
"Do any of these scenarios sound familiar?
-Somebody cuts in front of you in the grocery store line. You're irritated but don't say anything.
-Your friend asks you to pick her up at the airport. Again. You say yes even though you have no time.
-You disagree with your boss, but say nothing.
Are you nodding yes? We've all had moments when we think to ourselves, I'm confident, I'm smart, and I know what I want. Why can't I just say it?
Being assertive -- standing up for yourself and speaking your mind in a clear yet respectful way -- can be remarkably hard on a good day. We worry if we ask for what we need, we'll put someone out. Or that we'll come across as a you-know-what. So we just let what we want go unsaid.
In your defense, it is more of a challenge to state your needs these days. The still-shaky economy may make you hesitant to ask for that raise at work (or disagree with your boss). You may feel worse turning down requests from family, knowing they're stressed.
And it's not just your imagination that more folks are losing it in public -- witness the woman who sprayed mace at fellow shoppers on Black Friday. A recent survey revealed that 86 percent of Americans have been the victims of rude behavior.
The payoff of having your own back, though, is enormous -- and it's so much more than simply getting your way.
"When you say what you want, you live a happier and more authentic life," says Caroline Adams Miller, author of "Creating Your Best Life."
That's true no matter what the outcome, adds Simon Rego, Psy.D., director of the cognitive behavioral training program at Montefiore Medical Center in New York. Those who speak up do better at work, have more time, and have healthier relationships.
So how do you master this crucial skill? "The three keys," explains Miller, "are knowing what you want, believing you have a right to it, and finding the courage to express it." You are about to become your own best advocate.
Be assertive... with friends and family
Surprisingly, your nearest and dearest can be the toughest to stand up to.
"They're the people we want to please the most," says Miller. "We'd rather be unhappy ourselves than disappoint them."
To complicate matters, we have to fight a lifetime of old (bad) habits -- saying "sure" when we really mean "no way." True, standing your ground can be momentarily uncomfortable, but it's so worth it -- your relationships will be stronger as a result, Miller says. Try these tactics:
Challenge #1: Saying "no!"
Your sister is always asking you to watch her kids; your running buddy keeps dragging you to Spinning class, which you hate.
The solution: There is a trick to getting your way when someone doesn't pick up subtle hints. Take a deep breath so you sound calm -- not at all peeved -- and just say, "No, I'm not able to do that," Rego advises. If she pushes back (which she likely will), repeat, minus a word or two. "No. I'm not able."
This may go on for several rounds. "Each time, you shorten the phrase until you eventually just say no," says Rego. "It's extremely effective because it allows you to convey what you want without getting upset."
Challenge #2: Sticking with your values
You need your folks to respect your decisions about your kids; you want the in-laws to stop breaking the bank on gifts.
The solution: When you're broaching a sensitive topic, it's best to start with the word "I". (This is particularly effective at deflecting arguments over hot button issues.) "'I' statements are expressions of your own needs, which we all are entitled to have," explains Rego. Using "you" statements, on the other hand, can put the other person on the defensive, which will only escalate an argument. Keep it simple and own it ("I feel my kids act crazy when they eat candy, so I don't want them to have any.")
Challenge #3: Breaking a pattern
Maybe your friend always picks the restaurants (and pricey ones), or your man chooses your vacation spots every time.
The solution: This one pops up a lot in close relationships. Here, too, that "I" statement is key. Soften it with at least one thing the other person will be happy to hear ("Our date nights are so fun, but I would love to see a movie this time.")

There's a lot more; you'll want to read the whole thing.

“Those who wish to sing, always find a song.”---Swedish Proverb