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One
in 10 American adults is registered with an online dating service. The
number of people looking to find love online has never been greater, but
the wealth of options also means that singles can spend months combing
through hundreds of profiles without ever securing a successful date.
Enter
Sameer Chaudhry, an internist at the University of North Texas, who
proposed a collaborative project with his friend Khalid Khan, a
professor of women’s health and clinical epidemiology at Barts and the
London School of Medicine and Dentistry.
Dr.
Chaudhry’s dating life was stagnant, his online persona garnering no
response from the women he reached out to. So Dr. Chaudhry asked Dr.
Khan to help him research the data on attraction and persuasion in hopes
of improving his odds.
The
two combed through all of the scientific literature on the topic that
they could find. They eventually settled on 86 studies that focused on
factors that seem to transform computer-mediated interactions into
real-world dates. They reported their findings recently in the journal
Evidence Based Medicine.
As it turns out, success begins with picking a user name.
While men are drawn to names linked to physical traits (e.g., Cutie),
the researchers found, women prefer ones that indicate intelligence
(e.g., Cultured). Both sexes respond well to playful names (e.g.
Fun2bwith) and shy away from ones with negative connotations (e.g.,
Bugg).
User
names that begin with letters from the first half of the alphabet do
better than those from the latter half. “As human beings, we have a
tendency to give things at the top of a pile more value,” Dr. Khan said.
The
most successful online profiles featured content divided 70:30 between
personal information and a description of the ideal desired partner, the
scientists found. Honest, likable and succinct profiles written with a
touch of humor — particularly those that did not self-aggrandize or use
rhetorical flourishes — elicit the best results. Photographs showing the
user smiling and standing in the center of the frame surrounded by
others work best.
“Through
evolution, the brain has developed ways of subconsciously responding to
particular situations, including courtship behavior,” Dr. Khan said.
“Online daters need to consider the impact of the information others
immediately receive when clicking on their profile.”
As
for Dr. Chaudhry, Dr. Khan added, the project paid off. He spent
Valentine’s weekend in Rome with his sweetheart, whom he met online.
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Interesting stuff. Now, though, for adults with Moebius, the article above does present one conundrum: it says that the best picture for your profile will show you smiling. But...most of us can't really smile. What about that?
See, I think though that this creates an opportunity, not a problem. I say, take the best picture of yourself that you can. Take care. Look neat. Appearance can indeed be important. (Meaning: just because you cannot smile is no reason to look slovenly). But no, you can't smile. So put something in your profile that somehow indicates that you have Moebius, and what it means. You want your profile to be succinct. So don't write a dissertation on Moebius. But sure...why hide it?
Sure, you have Moebius...but you're more than awesome. And if someone is going to ignore your profile because you look a little different, then why would you want to be with that person anyway? Some food for thought. Good luck out there...
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