FREE ADVICE FOR MOEBIUS MOMS AND DADS

I thought this piece would interest some of you Moebius moms and dads; it comes from an advice column, as a result of parent being worried about her son, who is an introvert without many friends.  Obviously some children with Moebius become introverts, too.  (I was, when I was young.)  Now the child referenced in this column does not of course have Moebius.  But I have a hunch that the advice this mom is given could also be good advice for some of you Moebius moms and dads out there.  Read this and see what you think:

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Question: My 8-year-old son is intellectually precocious, but he is still very young for his age emotionally, and behind his peers in many ways. He’s not part of the neighborhood gang, nor does he have a close friend who lives near enough for them to play together. ¶ He also finds noisy, crowded environments highly stressful, so he goes right to the computer or to the television to decompress after a full day at school and a long bus ride home. Because I am very much an introvert, it doesn’t particularly disturb me to see him spending time alone, but it’s hard to find many activities for him to do without adding more structure to his schedule. He takes music classes, but he doesn’t like to practice. He enjoys sports, but they are offered only two days a week in our town. ¶ And though he reads above grade level, he doesn’t read for pleasure; he never reads fiction and he’s no longer interested in his toys, unlike his brother, who’s in middle school and can happily spend 12 hours on a craft project. ¶ Learning outside of school doesn’t appeal to him, and neither do neighborhood walks, park visits or trips to a museum. ¶ How can I help my boy decompress without spending so much time in front of a screen?

Answer: Your son may want to spend all his time watching television or playing on the computer, but that doesn’t mean that he should. An hour of screen time a day is enough for your child because he has so many other things to see, so much else to do and so much more to learn.
But first you have to study your boy as carefully as an entomologist studies a bug. Only then will you know which ideas will please him most and which activities will help him find his niche in life.

 

Don’t expect your child to like what everyone else likes, or for him to play well with children who are more mature than he is. A child who grows faster — or slower — in one area than he does in other areas should play with children who act like he does, rather than simply the ones who are as old as he is. Otherwise he may seem vulnerable and become the target of a bully at school.

Although you have to let your son choose his own friends and his own interests, you can guide him in the right direction by inviting another family over for Family Movie Night at your house as long as their children are younger than your son or they act young for their age. This will give your little introvert some extra screen time, some popcorn and a chance to be with people who don’t talk too much.
You also might call a college near you and ask whether it has a student you could pay to teach your son how to manage a skateboard or catch a fish or whatever he is interested in. Introverted children often do better in one-on-one situations than they do on teams.
And then there are books. Because you know that your son likes nonfiction better than fiction — as most boys do — and that he also likes sports, give him a subscription to Sports Illustrated for Kids ($20) and then take notice of which articles he reads first and reads fastest. Once you have that information, you can give him some easy-to-read magazines or books that are devoted to those sports.
To broaden his interests even more, consider “The Big Book of Why” by the editors of Time Magazine (Time for Kids; $20) or any book written and illustrated by Caldecott winner David Macaulay, such as “Underground,” “Mill” or “Castle,” which are all published by HMH and cost $10 each. They are carefully illustrated and awash with information and should make your son curious about engineering and history.
These books will feed the mind of a boy who sounds truly hungry to learn.

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