The below is a blog post written by the inspirational blogger Eleni Makedonas. She asks an interesting question. See what you think:
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"Loneliness is dangerous. It's addicting. Once you see how peaceful it is, you don't wanna deal with people."
-- Unknown
This
is a difficult one for most people to understand. For me, it's
especially hard because I have a massive fear of abandonment, and
feeling lonely brings out those fears in full effect. Learning to sit
with that emotion and realizing that it's actually not as bad as I
imagined it would be has been something I continue to work on. Learning
to love my own company and not need anyone else but myself has been
liberating and although it is still largely a work in progress the
peacefulness that comes with it is more satisfying then anything I have
ever experienced. Recently, I have made difficult decisions in my life
and I attribute that solely to learning to face my fear of abandonment
and therefore being alone and for that... I am very grateful. Through
this I have learned that the only thing my fear of being alone has ever
done for me is made me feel more alone. Yes... that's right. That which
we fear is what our lives will continue to produce for us. Not until we
learn to face those fears head on will we be able to diminish -- and
hopefully destroy -- any hold it has on our lives. Not until we stop
pretending those fears don't exist and bring them to the surface will we
be able to break free from the shackles of our fears.
Each of us
face different fears. I believe our fears are made up from our life
experiences and mostly our childhood. Only in the last year have I been
able to identify the root of my fears -- fear of loss and fear of
abandonment -- and tie them to my behavior and actions throughout my
life. It has brought me such a wealth of understanding of myself and who
I am and most importantly it has allowed me to grow as a person in ways
I never thought possible. Don't get me wrong... I am still a HUGE work
in progress and my fears continue to influence many of my decisions,
however, I am aware of them now and I am working on building my strength
against them. I don't think these fears -- that have been ingrained in
me from a child through some very specific experiences -- will ever
disappear but what I hope is that I will one day be stronger than my
fears and they will no longer control me. My hope is that I will one day
be fully at ease with being alone and therefore never have to fear
loneliness again.
My message is this... face your fears, sit with
those unwanted emotions and free yourself from the shackles of fear.
Fear keeps us in that unfulfilling career, in the unsatisfying
relationship. It keeps us from living our dreams and moving forward with
what we really want. We fear that if we let go of that job or
relationship we will never find better so instead we hold onto
mediocrity rather than strive for something better. Truthfully, wouldn't
having no relationship be better than having a mediocre one? Wouldn't
having a job that just pays the bills be better than one that stresses
you out and consumes you or depletes you to the very core? Follow your
heart and believe that everything that crosses your path was meant to
cross your path for a reason.
Sending all my love... Eleni... xoxox!
"Fear comes with uncertainty; we can eliminate the fear within us when we know ourselves better."
-- Bruce Lee
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