FOR MOEBIUS PARENTS:  BE INVOLVED...BUT NO "HELICOPTERING"

So you're a parent of a child who has Moebius Syndrome.  Well, naturally, throughout that child's young life, you're going to be involved.  One wants to help his child.  You want to be there for him or her.  You want to help get them through the inevitable obstacles that you know will come their way, given the nature of Moebius and given the nature of our society.

BUT--studies show that once a child is older, is college-aged or thereabouts, it can be a bad thing for parents to be over-involved.  And I am convinced this is true for those young folks with Moebius Syndrome as well.  Once they get to be 18 and beyond, they need to fly on their own.  They need to grow.  They need to develop.  They need to do their own thing, and you need to try to encourage that.  That's why this article I found today doesn't surprise me a bit, and I am convinced it undoubtedly applies to Moebius young people, too.  Here, read on and see what I mean:
"LONDON — Parents who run their university-aged children’s schedules, laundry and vacations could be doing more harm than good, according to a new study, which showed these students to be more likely to be depressed and dissatisfied with life.
The study, by Holly Schiffrin, an associate professor of psychology at the University of Mary Washington in Fredericksburg, found so-called helicopter parenting negatively affected college students by undermining their need to feel autonomous and competent. Students with overcontrolling parents also were more likely to be depressed and less satisfied with their lives, the study found.
“You expect parents with younger kids to be very involved, but the problem is that these children are old enough to look after themselves and their parents are not backing off,” Schiffrin said. Schiffrin’s study, published in Springer’s Journal of Child and Family Studies, was based on an online survey of 297 undergraduate students in the United States. Participants described their mothers’ parenting behavior and their own autonomy, and researchers assessed their happiness and satisfaction levels.
“To find parents so closely involved with their college lives, contacting their tutors and running their schedules, is something new and on the increase. It does not allow independence and the chance to learn from mistakes,” Schiffrin said.
In the United Kingdom, Mike Grenier, a house master from Eton College is involved in a campaign to get parents to slow down, saying that hyper-involved parenting may demotivate a child and cause psychological damage.
Grenier said the increase in helicopter parenting in the past 10 years had accompanied a changing attitude toward childhood, with more anxiety and fear over youngsters now seen as being at risk and vulnerable if confronted with failure.
“There is the fear that if they don’t get the right school and don’t get the right university, then they won’t get the opportunity to fight for the best jobs,” he said.
Grenier is an advocate of a movement called “slow education,” a concept adapted from the Italian culinary movement that has prompted a wider philosophical approach to travel, business, living and now schooling. “The real danger of hyper-parenting is that it is intrusive and parents don’t let their children make their own decisions, take risks and learn for themselves,” he said."

"It may be that those who do most, dream most."--Stephen Leacock.