HOW TO DEAL WITH SCHOOL ADMINISTRATORS
An interesting blog piece from Parenting mag's web site--some of you moms and dads with Moebius children can certainly use this advice, and others of us who are younger may very well have your own kids in school some day--so read on (and these responses are all from Parenting's "mom congress"):
"I do realize administrators can be intimidating and here's what I recommend.  Attend a PTA meeting, or any school get together.  Get to know your principal and how they communicate.  Do they appreciate humor, are they easy going, formal, etc.  Once you can determine their communication style and get to know them on more of a personal level, it's much easier to communicate.  I think of my daughters principal as not only a principal but also a friend with a great sense of humor! ~Shayne McCaslin – Arizona Delegate 2011
My advice is just ask what they need help with!  Most administrators know of teachers that could use help in their classroom or with classroom needs!  Let the administrators what your strengths are.  There are lots of committees at school that could use a community expert.  Ask how you could share your expertise. Once you create a helpful relationship, the administrator is more likely to listen to your concerns when you have them. ~Chanda Kropp – Minnesota Delegate 2010
Great topic!  I am in regular communication with my district's administrators.  I have spent a few years building those relationships.  I truly feel that my children's education is a partnership between home and school.  I take my role in that relationship very seriously, and feel empowered to act.  I do my best to present clear and concise points of concern (and only those I am really passionate about fixing) and invite discussion, always trying to be conscious of their point of view, and offering to be involved in the solution.  I also take opportunities to thank them for what they are doing well.  I have found my district's administrators to be open and welcoming of my input.  We have even collaborated on opening a new school!  In my urban district, my administrators have personally told me that if more parents were as engaged, we would be in a lot better shape.
One more thought...  I realized early on in my children's education that the ultimate responsibility, and therefore authority, for them is mine alone.  That fact has emboldened me to act and speak on their behalf in way I could not have predicted or imagined 10 years ago.  ~Ami Boehlje – Missouri Delegate 2011
I think the best way for parents to get to know their administrators is to be involved. Volunteer with a big event or volunteer to be an office volunteer. Be present and active without being pushy and overbearing. Principals will appreciate you and your time! One more! Choose what you wish to share wisely. Overwhelming anyone with dozens of emails or requests is off putting. :) ~Lyssa Shadevan – Georgia Delegate 2011
First, spend some time getting to know your school administrators.  Volunteer to do some simple projects for them, show them your dedication, let them know that they can trust you.  Once you have an established relationship after a few months (yes, building a solid relationship takes some time), then begin asking their opinions on an issue that is important to you.  Say it is school lunch.  Ask them for the vision for what the school lunch program would look like if money were no object.  From there, share your vision as well.  Then volunteer to be a part of a project to make the dream a reality in your district or at your school. (within budget or by finding funds) ~Lisa Falduto – Wisconsin Delegate 2011
School personnel are people and most are parents themselves.  I personally feel that if you treat them in a courteous and respectful way in most cases you will be treated the same.   Spend time in your child's school volunteering and get to know the staff.  If that is not possible, drop notes of appreciation and support throughout the year. Spend time with your child making sure homework is done and requests made from you as a parent (permission slips, form completed) are done and on time.  Attend parent teacher conferences and ask questions when you have them, rather than letting issues fester.
When there are moments of conflict, check the facts before you jump to conclusions.  Most teachers become defensive when parents come in screaming before they have checked all the facts or when they defend their child's inappropriate behavior. If your child has been inappropriate, work with the school to make sure the behavior doesn't occur again. Children are watching to see if their parent will defend them or hold them accountable.  Their future behavior is determined by what they see.  Also, don't assume that the "other" child involved isn't being disciplined as well. The administration and teachers can only talk to you about your child and not others. This should not be a you-against-me relationship but one where everyone is working in the best interest of the child.
Just my thoughts. ~JoNell Bakke – North Dakota 2011
Donate time to tutor, chaperone fieldtrips, open community relationships to promote community involvement.
Promote active PTA, help organize fundraisers (several of these ideas are things that are often given to administrators to do and they do not have the time to do), organize math and science night, go to different businesses to sell banners that can be placed on the school fence.  We ask our high school students to give 40 hours of community service to earn their high school diploma...we need all parents to give some time to our schools. ~Marilyn Zaragoza – Florida 2011
I think the best way to get parents to feel that they can approach the school officials is to get the school officials out there with the parents.  My old school had great "get to know the school" events and had food so people came for dinner and to meet the staff.  It was a great meeting event and was a great fundraiser.  The PTA pre-sold pizza and drinks and the kids all wanted to go see their friends and show off their teacher so parents came.  Some nights I just went so I didn't have to make dinner!  :)  But getting the officials to come out and mingle with parents helps parents feel that they are approachable. ~Leesa Arnes – Alaska 2010
When I was asked to be involved in our parent task force PAWWS (Parents At Work With Staff) 5 years ago, I expected the agenda to include the usual items: volunteering, math/literacy events, Kindergarten readiness, etc. Guess what?  It did!  However, what was refreshing was at each meeting there were parents, staff AND administration.  All were there to represent each other’s view and each were there to prove the commitment we all had going into these projects together.  What stemmed from that is unbelievable "open door" communication...two things happened. Number 1- parents were more understanding to what all the lingo and policies were about and more apt to work WITH staff instead of against them; number 2-  administrators were immediately viewed as less intimidating and also more apt to approach parents instead of waiting to be approached BY them.
It's funny you should ask this question now. We had a newly hired Superintendent this school year and as of April 1st I had yet to lay eyes on him (although I had heard wonderful things and his written communication with the parents had been excellent).  As soon as my article about Mom Congress went in the paper, I received a personal phone call, flowers presented by him in front of the school board, a personal meeting the day before I left and a follow up meeting set for next week. (Ummm, thank you?)  Great advocacy for the schools and great PR is what they want and you can be treated as an asset.  On the other hand, maybe they want me on their good side in case there is something I DON'T like about the schools...but we'll cross that bridge when we get there. ~Marni Fennessy - New Hampshire Delegate 2011"

"The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be
ruined by praise than saved by criticism." -Norman Vincent Peale