Tuesday, February 17, 2015

FOR MOEBIUS ADULTS: MUSINGS ON THE "SCIENCE" OF ONLINE DATING

So I know that many of you in the Moebius adult community, if you are still single, want to find that special someone.  You want to date.  You want to find that significant other.  Some of you have been involved in the world of online dating.  You know how that goes:  you find your online dating site, and then you have to create your "profile"...and see if you get an responses, interest, virtual "winks", etc.  Well, it turns out that some research has been done on this.  What kind of profile will likely generate the most interest?  Read on...and I will then have some musings on all this below.  This comes from today's NY Times:

***************************************

One in 10 American adults is registered with an online dating service. The number of people looking to find love online has never been greater, but the wealth of options also means that singles can spend months combing through hundreds of profiles without ever securing a successful date.
Enter Sameer Chaudhry, an internist at the University of North Texas, who proposed a collaborative project with his friend Khalid Khan, a professor of women’s health and clinical epidemiology at Barts and the London School of Medicine and Dentistry.
Dr. Chaudhry’s dating life was stagnant, his online persona garnering no response from the women he reached out to. So Dr. Chaudhry asked Dr. Khan to help him research the data on attraction and persuasion in hopes of improving his odds.
The two combed through all of the scientific literature on the topic that they could find. They eventually settled on 86 studies that focused on factors that seem to transform computer-mediated interactions into real-world dates. They reported their findings recently in the journal Evidence Based Medicine.
As it turns out, success begins with picking a user name. While men are drawn to names linked to physical traits (e.g., Cutie), the researchers found, women prefer ones that indicate intelligence (e.g., Cultured). Both sexes respond well to playful names (e.g. Fun2bwith) and shy away from ones with negative connotations (e.g., Bugg).
User names that begin with letters from the first half of the alphabet do better than those from the latter half. “As human beings, we have a tendency to give things at the top of a pile more value,” Dr. Khan said.
The most successful online profiles featured content divided 70:30 between personal information and a description of the ideal desired partner, the scientists found. Honest, likable and succinct profiles written with a touch of humor — particularly those that did not self-aggrandize or use rhetorical flourishes — elicit the best results. Photographs showing the user smiling and standing in the center of the frame surrounded by others work best.
“Through evolution, the brain has developed ways of subconsciously responding to particular situations, including courtship behavior,” Dr. Khan said. “Online daters need to consider the impact of the information others immediately receive when clicking on their profile.”
As for Dr. Chaudhry, Dr. Khan added, the project paid off. He spent Valentine’s weekend in Rome with his sweetheart, whom he met online.

**************************************

Interesting stuff.  Now, though, for adults with Moebius, the article above does present one conundrum:  it says that the best picture for your profile will show you smiling.  But...most of us can't really smile.  What about that?
See, I think though that this creates an opportunity, not a problem.  I say, take the best picture of yourself that you can.  Take care.  Look neat.  Appearance can indeed be important.  (Meaning:  just because you cannot smile is no reason to look slovenly).  But no, you can't smile.  So put something in your profile that somehow indicates that you have Moebius, and what it means.  You want your profile to be succinct.  So don't write a dissertation on Moebius.  But sure...why hide it?

Sure, you have Moebius...but you're more than awesome.  And if someone is going to ignore your profile because you look a little different, then why would you want to be with that person anyway?  Some food for thought.  Good luck out there...

No comments:

Post a Comment