TODAY, A MUSING...ON THE SUBJECT OF CONFIDENCE
Have any of you ever felt this way?  Try this:

Let's say you do your job, whatever it happens to be.  You think you certainly did all right, that you know what you're doing, but hey, you've been doing it for a while.  Another day, another dollar.

But anyway, you do it.  And then you regularly start to get congratulations from others on what you've done.  Wow, that was great.  So glad to be a part of it.  Keep up the great work!  I'm going to tell others about you.  They say all these things, and more.

And so at first, of course, you feel good.  Hey, who doesn't like to receive praise?  Always nice to believe you've done a good job, and then to actually have people tell you that---terrific!

But then...ahhh, then.  Maybe then the doubts creep in.  After all, you've got Moebius Syndrome, or maybe some other physical difference.  You're used to wondering about your abilities.  Because you know others have doubted them.  You're used to not fitting in, to having people stare at you, not because they like what you're doing, but because you make them uncomfortable.  Maybe you've doubted yourself.  So, when the praise comes...hmmm.  Maybe you overthink it.  Man.  Are people really praising me because I did a good job?  Or are they saying nice things because they immediately, when they saw me, assumed I was slow and retarded or lord knows what else they assumed, and they're just pleasantly surprised I slightly exceeded expectations?  Are people praising me because they feel sorry for me?

Hey, I betcha many of us have been there, and have done it.  Even when we're happy, we find ways to make ourselves sad.  My advice:  don't do it.  Just don't go there.  Don't doubt yourself. Don't beat yourself up.  Why?  Because we just know everyone else in the world is being sincere?

Well, no, because in fact...we DON'T know that.  Let's be real.  But instead, what I'm saying is this:  focus on what you do know.  You DO know how hard you work, you do know your abilities, you do know all you've done to overcome and compensate for whatever flaws and weaknesses you have.  You know the kind of job you do.  You know how well you can do it.  Those are all things you know.  So hey...when you think about it, you probably deserve a good deal of that praise!  Whether others meant it or not!!

And that's something to feel good about this holiday season.  Give yourself a present:  throw away those doubts. :+)

"Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad,
it's experience." -Victoria Holt