FRIDAY FOOTBALL PICKS!!
Focusing on NFL picks...I've already picked all the college football bowl games, and so far stand 8-5 in those. Last week's record: 9-7.
Seattle at Arizona. LINE: Cardinals by 3. MY PICK: CARDINALS. They're at home, where as the season goes on they have usually covered; and they will want to finish the season strong.
Tampa Bay at Atlanta. LINE: Falcons by 12. MY PICK: FALCONS. Atlanta is still seeking better playoff seeding; and the Bucs appear to have packed it in.
Baltimore at Cincinnati. LINE: Ravens by 2. MY PICK: RAVENS. It's hard not to root for the underdog, upstart Bengals; they've had quite a year. But they have yet to beat a playoff team, and the Ravens have plenty to play for.Cer
Pittsburgh at Cleveland. LINE: off the board. MY PICK: STEELERS. I suspect Ben Roethlisberger will play some, at least; Colt McCoy won't. The Steelers still have plenty to play for.
Kansas City at Denver. LINE: Broncos by 3. MY PICK: BRONCOS. Certainly Kyle Orton will be motivated in this game; but you wonder about the rest of his team...the Chiefs are out of the playoffs. Meanwhile I suspect Tim Tebow will find a way to win this game late, as he has frequently done at home.
Detroit at Green Bay. LINE: Lions by 3.5. MY PICK: LIONS. Mainly because the Lions should play their starters the entire game; a win can wrap up the 5th seed for them in the playoffs. No one expects Aaron Rodgers to play much more than the first quarter, meanwhile.
Indianapolis at Jacksonville. LINE: Jaguars by 3.5. MY PICK: COLTS. It's crazy; the Colts really should lose this game and get the #1 pick in next year's draft. But the last two weeks have proven that the Colts' players will not lay down, and QB Dan Orlovsky is playing better.
NY Jets at Miami. LINE: Dolphins by 2. MY PICK: JETS. Because they have more to play for here; though they'll need help to get in the playoffs.
Chicago at Minnesota. LINE: Vikings by 1. MY PICK: BEARS. Because the Vikings are very banged up; and Bears' fill-in QB Josh McCown shows promise.
Buffalo at New England. LINE: Patriots by 11. MY PICK: BILLS. Mainly this is because Tom Brady sounds banged up to me, with a bad left shoulder; I suspect he won't play the entire game. Expect the Pats to win this one, but in a very close game.
Carolina at New Orleans. LINE: Saints by 8. MY PICK: SAINTS. Nobody's stopping that Saints offense at their place lately.
Dallas at NY Giants. LINE: Giants by 3. MY PICK: GIANTS. Tony Romo is banged up. Eli Mannings seems to have the Cowboys' number.
San Diego at Oakland. LINE: Raiders by 3. MY PICK: RAIDERS. Oakland has a lot to play for; while the Chargers' performance last week was atrocious and inexplicable.
Washington at Philadelphia. LINE: Eagles by 8.5. MY PICK: EAGLES. Seems like Vick and that offense is finally clicking. Too bad it occurred too late for them...
San Francisco at St. Louis. LINE: 49ers by 10.5. MY PICK: 49ers. St. Louis can't score against anybody these days, especially that tough Niners' defense.
Tennessee at Houston. LINE: Titans by 3. MY PICK: TEXANS. Just a feeling; I think the Texans' defense will force turnovers and set up their offense in good shape.
Friday, December 30, 2011
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
SOME LIFE ADVICE--FROM YOUR ELDERS
I'm mainly on vacation this week. And I hope you all had a great Christmas, by the way. But as we approach the new year, we all tend to do a little thinking and reflection on the year past and the year ahead...right? And wouldn't we all like some great advice on things to do and mistakes to avoid? Well...that advice is out there. Read on:
" In an episode of the popular sitcom "30 Rock," television CEO Jack has a hallucinatory encounter with his future self, from whom he receives life advice that helps him avoid major mistakes.
Most of us would also like to know which choices and decisions we make as young people will benefit us later on -- or come back to haunt us. Although there's no way to step into our own futures, we can get a very good sense of what mistakes younger folks should avoid. We can ask our "future selves": our elders.
Based on this premise, over the past six years, I've conducted several studies involving 1,200 older Americans regarding the advice they would offer to members of the younger generation. The research has included a national, random-sample survey, as well as in-depth interviews with several hundred persons identified as "wise." To protect respondents' identities, actual names are not used in the study. Participants ranged in age from age 60 to 108 (average age was 74) and represented a geographically and economically diverse sample of the older population.
The surveys addressed the question, what mistakes should younger people avoid? Respondents were also asked their views on what people are most likely to regret when they get to the end of life.
Answers were categorized into major themes regarding mistakes and possible regrets. The findings reveal some interesting cautions for the young (and not so young as well).
According to America's elders, here are some of the biggest mistakes young people make:
1. Putting too high a priority on money. These elders were affected by the Great Depression, so I thought they might suggest pursuing financial security at all costs. Not so: Their responses were much more like this one from a 76-year-old: "Don't make money number one for everything. You need money, and that's fine, but it can't be your be-all and your end-all. You've got to spend time with your family and not spend every hour on the job and never be home." Most of the elders believe that a fulfilling job trumps a higher-paying but unsatisfying one any day.
2. Getting into debt. These are folks who have lived through economic hardship so tough that it makes what we're experiencing look like a minor blip. So listen to them when they point out the dangers of going into serious debt. From an 89-year-old: "They should avoid spending money they don't have. They should not be using that credit card if they can't make the payment on a monthly basis. That's just my old-fashioned way of doing it. We have a credit card, just one, that we use, and we pay it every month so the following month I don't have a debt that I have to pay from the month before. I wish they would wait until they can afford to buy something before they buy it, because that's why life is so difficult for them."
3. Worrying too much. A little surprising, right? But if there's one do-over the elders wish they could have, it would be not spending precious time worrying obsessively about the future. They said this as clearly as can be: "Worry wastes your life." "Worrying never solved anything. So don't."
4. Excessive drinking and drugs. Okay, we expected that one. This 84-year-old was typical: "For one thing, stay away from smoking; stay away from drugs; stay away from too much alcohol." But believe me, these people know from experience. This advice comes from watching plenty of ruined lives -- and in some cases personal experience. They don't ask you to be a puritan, just to know what moderation is and practice it.
5. Rushing into marriage before you're ready. Nope, they don't want everyone to get married as early as possible. Just the opposite: They want young people to wait until they are really sure (actually, really, really, really sure). And no one was more vehement about this than those who had one marriage fail and a second one succeed. As a 93-year-old put it: "Well, nowadays there are so many divorces, and I think they should be more careful about their decisions to get married. I mean, they should think at the beginning, is this going to be for a lifetime?"
6. Passing up opportunities. The elders much more strongly regret things they didn't do than what they did. As a 73-year-old told me: "The lesson I learned is that it really pays to say yes unless you've got a really solid reason to say no. Life is an adventure, but to take advantage of it, you have to say yes to things."
New Year's Day is fast approaching, and many of us will be talking to our older family members to wish them a happy new year. Why not ask them about the secrets to living a life without regrets? It could make for a very interesting conversation."
"Continuous challenge produces continuous improvement." -Paul
B. Thornton
I'm mainly on vacation this week. And I hope you all had a great Christmas, by the way. But as we approach the new year, we all tend to do a little thinking and reflection on the year past and the year ahead...right? And wouldn't we all like some great advice on things to do and mistakes to avoid? Well...that advice is out there. Read on:
" In an episode of the popular sitcom "30 Rock," television CEO Jack has a hallucinatory encounter with his future self, from whom he receives life advice that helps him avoid major mistakes.
Most of us would also like to know which choices and decisions we make as young people will benefit us later on -- or come back to haunt us. Although there's no way to step into our own futures, we can get a very good sense of what mistakes younger folks should avoid. We can ask our "future selves": our elders.
Based on this premise, over the past six years, I've conducted several studies involving 1,200 older Americans regarding the advice they would offer to members of the younger generation. The research has included a national, random-sample survey, as well as in-depth interviews with several hundred persons identified as "wise." To protect respondents' identities, actual names are not used in the study. Participants ranged in age from age 60 to 108 (average age was 74) and represented a geographically and economically diverse sample of the older population.
The surveys addressed the question, what mistakes should younger people avoid? Respondents were also asked their views on what people are most likely to regret when they get to the end of life.
Answers were categorized into major themes regarding mistakes and possible regrets. The findings reveal some interesting cautions for the young (and not so young as well).
According to America's elders, here are some of the biggest mistakes young people make:
1. Putting too high a priority on money. These elders were affected by the Great Depression, so I thought they might suggest pursuing financial security at all costs. Not so: Their responses were much more like this one from a 76-year-old: "Don't make money number one for everything. You need money, and that's fine, but it can't be your be-all and your end-all. You've got to spend time with your family and not spend every hour on the job and never be home." Most of the elders believe that a fulfilling job trumps a higher-paying but unsatisfying one any day.
2. Getting into debt. These are folks who have lived through economic hardship so tough that it makes what we're experiencing look like a minor blip. So listen to them when they point out the dangers of going into serious debt. From an 89-year-old: "They should avoid spending money they don't have. They should not be using that credit card if they can't make the payment on a monthly basis. That's just my old-fashioned way of doing it. We have a credit card, just one, that we use, and we pay it every month so the following month I don't have a debt that I have to pay from the month before. I wish they would wait until they can afford to buy something before they buy it, because that's why life is so difficult for them."
3. Worrying too much. A little surprising, right? But if there's one do-over the elders wish they could have, it would be not spending precious time worrying obsessively about the future. They said this as clearly as can be: "Worry wastes your life." "Worrying never solved anything. So don't."
4. Excessive drinking and drugs. Okay, we expected that one. This 84-year-old was typical: "For one thing, stay away from smoking; stay away from drugs; stay away from too much alcohol." But believe me, these people know from experience. This advice comes from watching plenty of ruined lives -- and in some cases personal experience. They don't ask you to be a puritan, just to know what moderation is and practice it.
5. Rushing into marriage before you're ready. Nope, they don't want everyone to get married as early as possible. Just the opposite: They want young people to wait until they are really sure (actually, really, really, really sure). And no one was more vehement about this than those who had one marriage fail and a second one succeed. As a 93-year-old put it: "Well, nowadays there are so many divorces, and I think they should be more careful about their decisions to get married. I mean, they should think at the beginning, is this going to be for a lifetime?"
6. Passing up opportunities. The elders much more strongly regret things they didn't do than what they did. As a 73-year-old told me: "The lesson I learned is that it really pays to say yes unless you've got a really solid reason to say no. Life is an adventure, but to take advantage of it, you have to say yes to things."
New Year's Day is fast approaching, and many of us will be talking to our older family members to wish them a happy new year. Why not ask them about the secrets to living a life without regrets? It could make for a very interesting conversation."
"Continuous challenge produces continuous improvement." -Paul
B. Thornton
Friday, December 23, 2011
YES, VIRGINIA...
The timeless story--and today is a great day to remember it:
The timeless story--and today is a great day to remember it:
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Thursday, December 22, 2011
THURSDAY FOOTBALL PICKS!
Today let's have some fun, and pick a whole bunch of football games...as many big games coming up as we can, both college and pro. And we'll do it in seven words or less! A good challenge.
Here we go!
Last week's record--9-9.
COLLEGE FOOTBALL BOWL PICKS!
Maaco Bowl at Las Vegas--Boise State 14 over Arizona State. MY PICK: ARIZONA STATE. Boise is good, but will be flat.
Hawaii Bowl--Southern Miss 6.5 over Nevada. MY PICK: SOUTHERN MISS. Did you see USM take apart Houston?
Independence Bowl--Missouri 4.5 over North Carolina. MY PICK: MIZZOU. Tossup game--go with tougher conference.
Little Caesar's Pizza Bowl--Purdue 2.5 over Western Michigan. MY PICK: WESTERN MICHIGAN. WMU--something to prove; almost beat Illinois.
Belk Bowl--NC State 2 over Louisville. MY PICK: NC STATE. Game played in North Carolina; partisan crowd.
Military Bowl--Toledo 3 over Air Force. MY PICK: AIR FORCE. AF option hard to prepare for.
Holiday Bowl--Texas 3 over California. MY PICK: TEXAS. Longhorns young and improving.
Champs Sports Bowl--Florida State 3 over Notre Dame. MY PICK: FSU. ND uncertain at QB; FSU better defense.
Alamo Bowl--Baylor 9.5 over Washington. MY PICK: BAYLOR. Huskies can't stop RGIII.
Armed Forces Bowl--BYU 2.5 over Tulsa. MY PICK: BYU. BYU will outscore u, TU.
Pinstripe Bowl--Rutgers 2 over Iowa State. MY PICK: RUTGERS. RU close to home, something to prove.
Music City Bowl--Mississippi State 6.5 over Wake Forest. MY PICK: WAKE. MSU defense lacking.
Insight Bowl--Oklahoma 14 over Iowa. MY PICK: IOWA. OU probably wins; but flat=close game.
Meineke Car Care Bowl--Texas A&M 10 over Northwestern. MY PICK: NORTHWESTERN. A&M's defense has stopped nobody.
Sun Bowl--Georgia Tech 3 over Utah. MY PICK: TECH. Utah not prepared for Tech option.
Fight Hunger Bowl--Illinois 2.5 over UCLA. MY PICK: ILLINOIS. Only because UCLA slightly worse.
Liberty Bowl--Vanderbilt 2.5 over Cincinnati. MY PICK: VANDY. Playing close to home.
Chick-Fil-A Bowl--Auburn 1.5 over Virginia. MY PICK: AUBURN. From a tougher conference; will score points.
TicketCity Bowl--Houston 6 over Penn State. MY PICK: PENN STATE. Because Cougars disappointed over loss of BCS.
Outback Bowl--Georgia 3.5 over Michigan State. MY PICK: GEORGIA. Spartans with bad bowl karma recently.
Capital One Bowl--South Carolina 2 over Nebraska. MY PICK: SOUTH CAROLINA. Gamecocks and ol' ball coach will outscore 'em.
Gator Bowl--Florida 2 over Ohio State. MY PICK: OHIO STATE. Buckeyes will win one for outgoing coach.
Rose Bowl--Oregon 6 over Wisconsin. MY PICK: OREGON. Both teams score; Oregon scores more.
Fiesta Bowl--Oklahoma State 3.5 over Stanford. MY PICK: STANFORD. High-scoring game; Andrew Luck finishes strong.
Sugar Bowl--Michigan 2.5 over Virginia Tech. MY PICK: MICHIGAN. VT can't stop Denard Robinson in clutch.
Orange Bowl--Clemson 3.5 over West Virginia. MY PICK: WEST VIRGINIA. Clemson can score, but is too inconsistent.
Cotton Bowl--Arkansas 7.5 over Kansas State. MY PICK: KANSAS STATE. KSU coach Bill Snyder--fantastic job.
BBVA Compass Bowl--Pittsburgh 3.5 over SMU. MY PICK: SMU. Pitt distracted by coach leaving; SMU can score.
GoDaddy.com Bowl--Arkansas St. 1.5 over NortheBrn Illinois. MY PICK: NORTHERN ILL. The MAC is a tough league.
BCS National Championship Game--LSU vs Alabama--pick 'em. MY PICK: LSU. Predicted final score: LSU 3, Alabama 2.
NFL PICKS
Houston at Indianapolis. LINE: Texans by 6. MY PICK: COLTS. Indy with momentum; Texans win, very close.
Cleveland at Baltimore. LINE: Ravens by 13.5. MY PICK: RAVENS. Ravens angry; Cleveland--no Colt McCoy? No chance.
Tampa Bay at Carolina. LINE: Panthers by 7.5. MY PICK: PANTHERS. Panthers improving; Bucs' ship sinking fast.
Arizona at Cincinnati. LINE: Bengals by 4. MY PICK: BENGALS. AZ historically not great out east.
Philadelphia at Dallas. LINE: Cowboys by 2. MY PICK: EAGLES. Just not sure Cowboys' defensive problems fixed.
Denver at Buffalo. LINE: Broncos by 3. MY PICK: BRONCOS. Tebow finds way to win again late.
San Diego at Detroit. LINE: Lions by 2.5. MY PICK: LIONS. Thinking Suh and co. can pressure Rivers.
Oakland at Kansas City. LINE: Chiefs by 1.5. MY PICK: CHIEFS. Kyle Orton makes big difference.
Miami at New England. LINE: Patriots by 9.5. MY PICK: PATRIOTS. Tom Brady and no-huddle again nets Dolphins.
NY Jets 3 over NY Giants. LINE: Jets by 3. MY PICK: GIANTS. Giants up/down team; this week, up.
St. Louis at Pittsburgh. LINE: off the board. MY PICK: STEELERS. Rams so bad--won't matter if Big Ben hurt.
San Francisco at Seattle. LINE: 49ers by 2.5. MY PICK: 49ERS. Seattle improved, no doubt; but Niners better.
Jacksonville at Tennessee. LINE: Titans by 7.5. MY PICK: TITANS. Titans still with slim playoff hopes.
Minnesota at Washington. LINE: Redskins by 6.5. MY PICK: REDSKINS. Redskins improving, still playing hard.
Chicago at Green Bay. LINE: Packers by 13. MY PICK: PACKERS. Pack will atone; desperate Bears start--Josh McCown!?
Atlanta at New Orleans. LINE: Saints by 6.5. MY PICK: SAINTS. Saints and D. Brees tough at home.
"Winning isn't everything; it's the only thing."--Vince Lombardi.
Today let's have some fun, and pick a whole bunch of football games...as many big games coming up as we can, both college and pro. And we'll do it in seven words or less! A good challenge.
Here we go!
Last week's record--9-9.
COLLEGE FOOTBALL BOWL PICKS!
Maaco Bowl at Las Vegas--Boise State 14 over Arizona State. MY PICK: ARIZONA STATE. Boise is good, but will be flat.
Hawaii Bowl--Southern Miss 6.5 over Nevada. MY PICK: SOUTHERN MISS. Did you see USM take apart Houston?
Independence Bowl--Missouri 4.5 over North Carolina. MY PICK: MIZZOU. Tossup game--go with tougher conference.
Little Caesar's Pizza Bowl--Purdue 2.5 over Western Michigan. MY PICK: WESTERN MICHIGAN. WMU--something to prove; almost beat Illinois.
Belk Bowl--NC State 2 over Louisville. MY PICK: NC STATE. Game played in North Carolina; partisan crowd.
Military Bowl--Toledo 3 over Air Force. MY PICK: AIR FORCE. AF option hard to prepare for.
Holiday Bowl--Texas 3 over California. MY PICK: TEXAS. Longhorns young and improving.
Champs Sports Bowl--Florida State 3 over Notre Dame. MY PICK: FSU. ND uncertain at QB; FSU better defense.
Alamo Bowl--Baylor 9.5 over Washington. MY PICK: BAYLOR. Huskies can't stop RGIII.
Armed Forces Bowl--BYU 2.5 over Tulsa. MY PICK: BYU. BYU will outscore u, TU.
Pinstripe Bowl--Rutgers 2 over Iowa State. MY PICK: RUTGERS. RU close to home, something to prove.
Music City Bowl--Mississippi State 6.5 over Wake Forest. MY PICK: WAKE. MSU defense lacking.
Insight Bowl--Oklahoma 14 over Iowa. MY PICK: IOWA. OU probably wins; but flat=close game.
Meineke Car Care Bowl--Texas A&M 10 over Northwestern. MY PICK: NORTHWESTERN. A&M's defense has stopped nobody.
Sun Bowl--Georgia Tech 3 over Utah. MY PICK: TECH. Utah not prepared for Tech option.
Fight Hunger Bowl--Illinois 2.5 over UCLA. MY PICK: ILLINOIS. Only because UCLA slightly worse.
Liberty Bowl--Vanderbilt 2.5 over Cincinnati. MY PICK: VANDY. Playing close to home.
Chick-Fil-A Bowl--Auburn 1.5 over Virginia. MY PICK: AUBURN. From a tougher conference; will score points.
TicketCity Bowl--Houston 6 over Penn State. MY PICK: PENN STATE. Because Cougars disappointed over loss of BCS.
Outback Bowl--Georgia 3.5 over Michigan State. MY PICK: GEORGIA. Spartans with bad bowl karma recently.
Capital One Bowl--South Carolina 2 over Nebraska. MY PICK: SOUTH CAROLINA. Gamecocks and ol' ball coach will outscore 'em.
Gator Bowl--Florida 2 over Ohio State. MY PICK: OHIO STATE. Buckeyes will win one for outgoing coach.
Rose Bowl--Oregon 6 over Wisconsin. MY PICK: OREGON. Both teams score; Oregon scores more.
Fiesta Bowl--Oklahoma State 3.5 over Stanford. MY PICK: STANFORD. High-scoring game; Andrew Luck finishes strong.
Sugar Bowl--Michigan 2.5 over Virginia Tech. MY PICK: MICHIGAN. VT can't stop Denard Robinson in clutch.
Orange Bowl--Clemson 3.5 over West Virginia. MY PICK: WEST VIRGINIA. Clemson can score, but is too inconsistent.
Cotton Bowl--Arkansas 7.5 over Kansas State. MY PICK: KANSAS STATE. KSU coach Bill Snyder--fantastic job.
BBVA Compass Bowl--Pittsburgh 3.5 over SMU. MY PICK: SMU. Pitt distracted by coach leaving; SMU can score.
GoDaddy.com Bowl--Arkansas St. 1.5 over NortheBrn Illinois. MY PICK: NORTHERN ILL. The MAC is a tough league.
BCS National Championship Game--LSU vs Alabama--pick 'em. MY PICK: LSU. Predicted final score: LSU 3, Alabama 2.
NFL PICKS
Houston at Indianapolis. LINE: Texans by 6. MY PICK: COLTS. Indy with momentum; Texans win, very close.
Cleveland at Baltimore. LINE: Ravens by 13.5. MY PICK: RAVENS. Ravens angry; Cleveland--no Colt McCoy? No chance.
Tampa Bay at Carolina. LINE: Panthers by 7.5. MY PICK: PANTHERS. Panthers improving; Bucs' ship sinking fast.
Arizona at Cincinnati. LINE: Bengals by 4. MY PICK: BENGALS. AZ historically not great out east.
Philadelphia at Dallas. LINE: Cowboys by 2. MY PICK: EAGLES. Just not sure Cowboys' defensive problems fixed.
Denver at Buffalo. LINE: Broncos by 3. MY PICK: BRONCOS. Tebow finds way to win again late.
San Diego at Detroit. LINE: Lions by 2.5. MY PICK: LIONS. Thinking Suh and co. can pressure Rivers.
Oakland at Kansas City. LINE: Chiefs by 1.5. MY PICK: CHIEFS. Kyle Orton makes big difference.
Miami at New England. LINE: Patriots by 9.5. MY PICK: PATRIOTS. Tom Brady and no-huddle again nets Dolphins.
NY Jets 3 over NY Giants. LINE: Jets by 3. MY PICK: GIANTS. Giants up/down team; this week, up.
St. Louis at Pittsburgh. LINE: off the board. MY PICK: STEELERS. Rams so bad--won't matter if Big Ben hurt.
San Francisco at Seattle. LINE: 49ers by 2.5. MY PICK: 49ERS. Seattle improved, no doubt; but Niners better.
Jacksonville at Tennessee. LINE: Titans by 7.5. MY PICK: TITANS. Titans still with slim playoff hopes.
Minnesota at Washington. LINE: Redskins by 6.5. MY PICK: REDSKINS. Redskins improving, still playing hard.
Chicago at Green Bay. LINE: Packers by 13. MY PICK: PACKERS. Pack will atone; desperate Bears start--Josh McCown!?
Atlanta at New Orleans. LINE: Saints by 6.5. MY PICK: SAINTS. Saints and D. Brees tough at home.
"Winning isn't everything; it's the only thing."--Vince Lombardi.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
DID YOU GET DE-FRIENDED?
Okay, folks, so many of us in this community nowadays are on Facebook. So have you ever wondered why others took you off their "friends" list? Or why some of your friends post a lot, while others don't; or why someone who you didn't think knew you very well "friended" you unexpectedly? Well, there's been a study done, and it has some interesting results in it:
"Wondering why a friend or acquaintance “defriended” you on Facebook?
New research from Nielsen shows that the No. 1 reason people remove others from their friend lists is something they said — or posted. Offensive comments were listed as the top reason for friend removals, with 55 percent of people in the study saying it was the primary motivator for cutting names off their friend list.
Other reasons that came up for booting a person from a friend list? The person posted too many “depressing” and “political” comments, or fell out of favor romantically: 11 percent of people said they removed someone after a breakup or divorce. The study also looked at differences in the way men and women use their social media accounts:
And here's a link to the entire study. It's interesting...
"Either write something worth reading or do something worth
writing." -Benjamin Franklin
Okay, folks, so many of us in this community nowadays are on Facebook. So have you ever wondered why others took you off their "friends" list? Or why some of your friends post a lot, while others don't; or why someone who you didn't think knew you very well "friended" you unexpectedly? Well, there's been a study done, and it has some interesting results in it:
"Wondering why a friend or acquaintance “defriended” you on Facebook?
New research from Nielsen shows that the No. 1 reason people remove others from their friend lists is something they said — or posted. Offensive comments were listed as the top reason for friend removals, with 55 percent of people in the study saying it was the primary motivator for cutting names off their friend list.
Other reasons that came up for booting a person from a friend list? The person posted too many “depressing” and “political” comments, or fell out of favor romantically: 11 percent of people said they removed someone after a breakup or divorce. The study also looked at differences in the way men and women use their social media accounts:
Facebook etiquette also plays a role, with updating too often or too little or having too many friends a consideration for some Facebook users. Social media activity also plays a role in these decisions, as research indicates that men are more likely to use social media for career networking and dating, while women use social media for a creative outlet, to get coupons or other promotions and to give positive feedback. More men add friends based on business networks or physical attractiveness, and women are more likely to add friends based on knowing someone in real life or to remove them because of offensive comments.The findings, which were based on a sample of 1,865 adults across the country, were published online on a Nielsen McKinsey blog."
And here's a link to the entire study. It's interesting...
"Either write something worth reading or do something worth
writing." -Benjamin Franklin
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
FROM THE I-JUST-THOUGHT-THIS-WAS-INTERESTING DEPT
So at this holiday time, so many of you out there may be "going home for the holidays." And it's a good idea, then, to contemplate--just what does "home" mean? What makes home truly..."home"? A lot of it, of course, has to do with the people there; those who make it truly a home...those who have never left. So the essay below is, perhaps, for those with Moebius Syndrome or other physical differences, or those connected to it, who make home what it is; who perhaps have never left home. To them...to Moebius moms and dads, too...this essay might just hit home for you. Read on:
"This is for those who stayed.
For the ones who, regardless of the reason, never picked up and moved.
This is for those who right now are right where they always have been.
Who aren't going home for the holidays, because home is where they already are.
This week the airports, highways, train stations and bus depots will be jammed. Americans, as they always are in the week leading up to Christmas, are on the move. Many are heading home.
So this may be as good a time as any to reflect on what that word -- "home" -- means. When people eagerly head home for the holidays, what is their true destination?
It isn't merely geographic. When you set foot again in the place you're from, it's not the street signs that warm you, or the sight of the public library or the town hall. Those are reminders, guideposts -- but that's not why you're there.
Home feels the way it does because of the people who never left -- the people who, with gratitude, you can count on, the family and friends you're coming home to. Without them, it's just a dot on a map.
They're the ones who are too often taken for granted. The ones who, in an era of constant transience and relentless motion, elected long ago, for their own good reasons, against being footloose. Who dropped anchor early, and stayed put while others were departing.
Just how taken for granted are they? The U.S. Census Bureau, which keeps track of seemingly everything, doesn't keep track of them. Robert B. Bernstein, a Census official, told me that there are no figures available for the number of people who have stayed in the same town for their entire lives.
But there are clues-- clues about the impulse for allegiance -- to be found in related census data that Bernstein and I delved into together. Fifty-nine percent of Americans live in the same state where they were born. Midwesterners are the most loyal to where they come from: 70.2 percent live in the state of their birth. The Western states manage to keep only 49.3 percent of those who were born there.
If you live in Louisiana, you're among the 78.8 percent of .your fellow residents who were born there, the highest percentage in the U.S., followed by Michigan at 76.6 percent and Ohio at 75.1 percent. Nevada has the lowest percentage of people born there: 24.3, followed by Florida, next-lowest, with 35.2 percent and Arizona with 37.7 percent. Nationwide, according to the most recent census numbers available, 45.3 million people live in a different house from the one where they lived a year ago, and 6.7 million of them live in a different state.
Perhaps the most beloved holiday movie is "It's a Wonderful Life," in which George Bailey, played by Jimmy Stewart, is a man who never moved away from Bedford Falls, and who is not without occasional pangs of regret about it. Generations of audiences have silently cheered for him. But the Jimmy Stewart character had a motion-picture camera trained on him; in real life, the men and women who stay often do so with no audience to applaud their fidelity to place.
We live in a society in which wanderlust is considered an unchallenged virtue. For generations, it has been said approvingly that someone has "set off to make it big," has "gone off to conquer the world." Getting out, seeking fresh horizons, has been made a celebrated and acclaimed goal, seldom questioned.
And those who stay behind? They do so for a variety of reasons: genuine love of a place; family obligations; a job that feels steady and safe. You sense, though, that some who stay may, like George Bailey, from time to time have second thoughts. Were they reluctant to roll the dice? Did an opportunity somewhere bigger and brighter open and then close before they worked up the resolve to say yes? Did they tell themselves that tomorrow they would make the grand move so many times that all the tomorrows finally ran out?
Every person has his or her own answer. In these December weeks, in town after American town, people will come home for the holidays, and it will feel like home because of the faces that remain there, the voices that are so familiar. Do those who stay ever ask themselves whether they have missed out on something in the wider world beyond? Perhaps. Human nature dictates that we often fixate on the path not taken.
But a town would not be a town were it not for those who vote in favor of it every day of their lives with their continued presence, who make it feel solid and permanent not just because they know the place so well, but because they know themselves just as well, and are confident enough in who they are that they don't necessarily have to look elsewhere for affirmation.
The world changes and becomes barely recognizable; even the tiniest towns transform themselves over time. If you're heading home for the holidays this week, you may notice that the old movie theater is a coffee shop now, or that the pharmacy has become a bank branch.
The sight of those faces, though, older but somehow forever young; the sound of those voices, voices you would know if you heard them anywhere on the planet, but that, now and always, are specific to this one and only place. . .
This is a time, and a season, to be thankful for those voices. For those faces.
For the ones who chose to stay.
As the holidays arrive, you may be coming home.
They -- in every way that counts -- are home."
"No matter how busy you may think you are, you must find time
for reading, or surrender yourself to self-chosen ignorance."
-A. Townsend
So at this holiday time, so many of you out there may be "going home for the holidays." And it's a good idea, then, to contemplate--just what does "home" mean? What makes home truly..."home"? A lot of it, of course, has to do with the people there; those who make it truly a home...those who have never left. So the essay below is, perhaps, for those with Moebius Syndrome or other physical differences, or those connected to it, who make home what it is; who perhaps have never left home. To them...to Moebius moms and dads, too...this essay might just hit home for you. Read on:
"This is for those who stayed.
For the ones who, regardless of the reason, never picked up and moved.
This is for those who right now are right where they always have been.
Who aren't going home for the holidays, because home is where they already are.
This week the airports, highways, train stations and bus depots will be jammed. Americans, as they always are in the week leading up to Christmas, are on the move. Many are heading home.
So this may be as good a time as any to reflect on what that word -- "home" -- means. When people eagerly head home for the holidays, what is their true destination?
It isn't merely geographic. When you set foot again in the place you're from, it's not the street signs that warm you, or the sight of the public library or the town hall. Those are reminders, guideposts -- but that's not why you're there.
Home feels the way it does because of the people who never left -- the people who, with gratitude, you can count on, the family and friends you're coming home to. Without them, it's just a dot on a map.
They're the ones who are too often taken for granted. The ones who, in an era of constant transience and relentless motion, elected long ago, for their own good reasons, against being footloose. Who dropped anchor early, and stayed put while others were departing.
Just how taken for granted are they? The U.S. Census Bureau, which keeps track of seemingly everything, doesn't keep track of them. Robert B. Bernstein, a Census official, told me that there are no figures available for the number of people who have stayed in the same town for their entire lives.
But there are clues-- clues about the impulse for allegiance -- to be found in related census data that Bernstein and I delved into together. Fifty-nine percent of Americans live in the same state where they were born. Midwesterners are the most loyal to where they come from: 70.2 percent live in the state of their birth. The Western states manage to keep only 49.3 percent of those who were born there.
If you live in Louisiana, you're among the 78.8 percent of .your fellow residents who were born there, the highest percentage in the U.S., followed by Michigan at 76.6 percent and Ohio at 75.1 percent. Nevada has the lowest percentage of people born there: 24.3, followed by Florida, next-lowest, with 35.2 percent and Arizona with 37.7 percent. Nationwide, according to the most recent census numbers available, 45.3 million people live in a different house from the one where they lived a year ago, and 6.7 million of them live in a different state.
Perhaps the most beloved holiday movie is "It's a Wonderful Life," in which George Bailey, played by Jimmy Stewart, is a man who never moved away from Bedford Falls, and who is not without occasional pangs of regret about it. Generations of audiences have silently cheered for him. But the Jimmy Stewart character had a motion-picture camera trained on him; in real life, the men and women who stay often do so with no audience to applaud their fidelity to place.
We live in a society in which wanderlust is considered an unchallenged virtue. For generations, it has been said approvingly that someone has "set off to make it big," has "gone off to conquer the world." Getting out, seeking fresh horizons, has been made a celebrated and acclaimed goal, seldom questioned.
And those who stay behind? They do so for a variety of reasons: genuine love of a place; family obligations; a job that feels steady and safe. You sense, though, that some who stay may, like George Bailey, from time to time have second thoughts. Were they reluctant to roll the dice? Did an opportunity somewhere bigger and brighter open and then close before they worked up the resolve to say yes? Did they tell themselves that tomorrow they would make the grand move so many times that all the tomorrows finally ran out?
Every person has his or her own answer. In these December weeks, in town after American town, people will come home for the holidays, and it will feel like home because of the faces that remain there, the voices that are so familiar. Do those who stay ever ask themselves whether they have missed out on something in the wider world beyond? Perhaps. Human nature dictates that we often fixate on the path not taken.
But a town would not be a town were it not for those who vote in favor of it every day of their lives with their continued presence, who make it feel solid and permanent not just because they know the place so well, but because they know themselves just as well, and are confident enough in who they are that they don't necessarily have to look elsewhere for affirmation.
The world changes and becomes barely recognizable; even the tiniest towns transform themselves over time. If you're heading home for the holidays this week, you may notice that the old movie theater is a coffee shop now, or that the pharmacy has become a bank branch.
The sight of those faces, though, older but somehow forever young; the sound of those voices, voices you would know if you heard them anywhere on the planet, but that, now and always, are specific to this one and only place. . .
This is a time, and a season, to be thankful for those voices. For those faces.
For the ones who chose to stay.
As the holidays arrive, you may be coming home.
They -- in every way that counts -- are home."
"No matter how busy you may think you are, you must find time
for reading, or surrender yourself to self-chosen ignorance."
-A. Townsend
Monday, December 19, 2011
A TYPICAL DAY DURING CHRISTMAS WEEK
Today, just some random observations to share with you...heck, call 'em "musings", right? Anyway, the wife and I went Christmas shopping this morning; we fortunately both had the day off work. So...we hit various decoration/home gift stores...a book store...some toy stores...a clothing store. It was fun. We got some good stuff. Then we went out to lunch at a nice steak place...
Anyway, the thought that struck me when we got home was this: nobody with whom we dealt seemed to show the slightest hint that they thought we looked different. Nobody, that is, seemed to realize we had a different physical condition. I assume most of you readers know the facts: both my wife Lisa and I have Moebius Syndrome. And of course, when people go out shopping, you know what happens--you wind up dealing with lots of people: store clerks, other shoppers, waitresses, etc. And all of you who have Moebius know the score--you can all tell when other people, who don't have Moebius, recognize that you do, that you look "different"--they give you a certain look, a certain pause. And on some days, that can seem to happen to you a lot!
But other days, it doesn't at all. Isn't it kind of weird? Isn't it random? Some days it seems like everybody stares at you. Other days, it seems like nobody does. Oh, there may have been one slight incident this morning...we were at a children's clothing store, and a little girl I think was eyeing me a bit strangely. But not much, not for long.
It's interesting to think about why that might be; why DON'T more people notice my wife and I on days like today? Could it be because we sort of, intentionally or not, hide it? We both wear glasses. We both are careful in our pronunciation when we speak to strangers. We both are older, so we're used to this kind of thing--how to present yourself well to others. And of course clerks in stores want to treat others well--they want you to keep coming back and spending your money.
But then also, some days it just happens that way; some days people don't notice...maybe other days, when it wasn't so busy, they would. That's life. I do think that one important lesson I've learned in dealing with the world is, do indeed be careful and, when speaking to others, pronounce things carefully and speak slowly. That does help. And some days are just good days. Nothing wrong with that--it is Christmas time, after all.
"And God bless us, every one."--Tiny Tim.
Today, just some random observations to share with you...heck, call 'em "musings", right? Anyway, the wife and I went Christmas shopping this morning; we fortunately both had the day off work. So...we hit various decoration/home gift stores...a book store...some toy stores...a clothing store. It was fun. We got some good stuff. Then we went out to lunch at a nice steak place...
Anyway, the thought that struck me when we got home was this: nobody with whom we dealt seemed to show the slightest hint that they thought we looked different. Nobody, that is, seemed to realize we had a different physical condition. I assume most of you readers know the facts: both my wife Lisa and I have Moebius Syndrome. And of course, when people go out shopping, you know what happens--you wind up dealing with lots of people: store clerks, other shoppers, waitresses, etc. And all of you who have Moebius know the score--you can all tell when other people, who don't have Moebius, recognize that you do, that you look "different"--they give you a certain look, a certain pause. And on some days, that can seem to happen to you a lot!
But other days, it doesn't at all. Isn't it kind of weird? Isn't it random? Some days it seems like everybody stares at you. Other days, it seems like nobody does. Oh, there may have been one slight incident this morning...we were at a children's clothing store, and a little girl I think was eyeing me a bit strangely. But not much, not for long.
It's interesting to think about why that might be; why DON'T more people notice my wife and I on days like today? Could it be because we sort of, intentionally or not, hide it? We both wear glasses. We both are careful in our pronunciation when we speak to strangers. We both are older, so we're used to this kind of thing--how to present yourself well to others. And of course clerks in stores want to treat others well--they want you to keep coming back and spending your money.
But then also, some days it just happens that way; some days people don't notice...maybe other days, when it wasn't so busy, they would. That's life. I do think that one important lesson I've learned in dealing with the world is, do indeed be careful and, when speaking to others, pronounce things carefully and speak slowly. That does help. And some days are just good days. Nothing wrong with that--it is Christmas time, after all.
"And God bless us, every one."--Tiny Tim.
Friday, December 16, 2011
FRIDAY FOOTBALL PICKS!
Last week my record was: just 8-8. At least it wasn't a losing record!
EARLY COLLEGE BOWL PICKS
NEW MEXICO BOWL
Temple 7 over Wyoming. MY PICK: WYOMING. The Cowboys played both TCU and Boise State fairly tough, and they're playing close to home.
FAMOUS IDAHO POTATO BOWL
Utah State 1.5 over Ohio. MY PICK: OHIO. Ohio from the Mid-American Conference will be motivated to once again prove the MAC's worth.
NEW ORLEANS BOWL
San Diego State 5 over Louisiana-Lafayette. MY PICK: SAN DIEGO STATE. They're from a tougher conference, they've played a tougher schedule.
NFL PICKS
Dallas at Tampa Bay. LINE: Cowboys by 7. MY PICK: COWBOYS. Yes, Dallas tends to play down to their competition. But in this case, the Bucs are in such trouble (a 7 game losing streak, Josh Freeman beat up, the Cowboys with so much more to play for) that I think the 'Boys will pull through.
Cleveland at Arizona. LINE: Cardinals by 7. MY PICK: CARDINALS. Arizona has greatly improved in the past several weeks, especially on defense. Cleveland hasn't; with Colt McCoy likely still woozy from last week, it all gives AZ a big edge.
Baltimore at San Diego. LINE: Ravens by 2.5. MY PICK: RAVENS. The Chargers are playing better. But the Ravens seek a #1 seed; and their defense in this games gives them the edge.
Miami at Buffalo. LINE: pick 'em (actually it's been taken off the board). MY PICK: BILLS. Miami in turmoil; they've fired their coach and now J.P. Losman will have to start. The Bills have also struggled mightily; but this seems like a week when they can get a win against a mentally-down Dolphins team.
Seattle at Chicago. LINE: Bears by 3.5. MY PICK: SEAHAWKS. Seattle has played fairly well lately, especially Marshawn Lynch; and have you seen Caleb Hanie of the Bears play good football yet this year? No, I haven't either.
Cincinnati at St. Louis. LINE: Bengals by 6.5. MY PICK: BENGALS. Because St. Louis has just been so bad for so long; and it looks unlikely that Sam Bradford will play.
Detroit at Oakland. LINE: Lions by 1. MY PICK: LIONS. The Raiders are banged-up and beaten-down over the past several weeks. The Lions, meanwhile, are getting healthy, and will have a motivated Ndamokung Suh back.
Green Bay at Kansas City. LINE: Packers by 13.5. MY PICK: PACKERS. Aaron Rodgers vs either Tyler Palko or, if they're lucky, a beat-up Kyle Orton. Yeah, think I'll go with Rodgers.
Carolina at Houston. LINE: Texans by 6.5. MY PICK: PANTHERS. Just a feeling here. But remember--T.J. Yates is still inexperienced. Cam Newton presents different problems than perhaps the Texans' D is used to. The Texans clinched a playoff berth last week; could there be a letdown? Look for this to be a very close game.
New England at Denver. LINE: Patriots by 6.5. MY PICK: PATRIOTS. Sorry, Tim Tebow. You've been amazing. But Tom Brady and the Pats are at a different level.
New Orleans at Minnesota. LINE: Saints by 6.5. MY PICK: SAINTS. The Saints are on the road, yes...but indoors, in a dome, Drew Brees still on a roll. Go with the Saints.
Washington at NY Giants. LINE: Giants by 6.5. MY PICK: GIANTS. Eli Manning and the Giants grabbed momentum last week, and they'll keep it.
NY Jets at Philadelphia. LINE: Eagles by 3. MY PICK: JETS. Wow--the Eagles win one game, and now suddenly they've righted the ship? The Jets have improved the past several weeks, and look for more Philly mistakes to cost them...
Tennessee at Indianapolis. LINE: Titans by 6.5. MY PICK: TITANS. The Colts can't wait for this season to end...
Pittsburgh at San Francisco. LINE: off the board. MY PICK: 49ERS. I imagine it's off the board due to the question of whether Ben Roethlisberger will play or not; my guess is, he won't...he's missed practice all week. Even if he does, that foot will really bother him, and the Niner defense at home will get after him. Look for San Fran to rebound this week.
"Win one for the Gipper."--George Gipp, University of Notre Dame student and football player, on his deathbed.
Last week my record was: just 8-8. At least it wasn't a losing record!
EARLY COLLEGE BOWL PICKS
NEW MEXICO BOWL
Temple 7 over Wyoming. MY PICK: WYOMING. The Cowboys played both TCU and Boise State fairly tough, and they're playing close to home.
FAMOUS IDAHO POTATO BOWL
Utah State 1.5 over Ohio. MY PICK: OHIO. Ohio from the Mid-American Conference will be motivated to once again prove the MAC's worth.
NEW ORLEANS BOWL
San Diego State 5 over Louisiana-Lafayette. MY PICK: SAN DIEGO STATE. They're from a tougher conference, they've played a tougher schedule.
NFL PICKS
Dallas at Tampa Bay. LINE: Cowboys by 7. MY PICK: COWBOYS. Yes, Dallas tends to play down to their competition. But in this case, the Bucs are in such trouble (a 7 game losing streak, Josh Freeman beat up, the Cowboys with so much more to play for) that I think the 'Boys will pull through.
Cleveland at Arizona. LINE: Cardinals by 7. MY PICK: CARDINALS. Arizona has greatly improved in the past several weeks, especially on defense. Cleveland hasn't; with Colt McCoy likely still woozy from last week, it all gives AZ a big edge.
Baltimore at San Diego. LINE: Ravens by 2.5. MY PICK: RAVENS. The Chargers are playing better. But the Ravens seek a #1 seed; and their defense in this games gives them the edge.
Miami at Buffalo. LINE: pick 'em (actually it's been taken off the board). MY PICK: BILLS. Miami in turmoil; they've fired their coach and now J.P. Losman will have to start. The Bills have also struggled mightily; but this seems like a week when they can get a win against a mentally-down Dolphins team.
Seattle at Chicago. LINE: Bears by 3.5. MY PICK: SEAHAWKS. Seattle has played fairly well lately, especially Marshawn Lynch; and have you seen Caleb Hanie of the Bears play good football yet this year? No, I haven't either.
Cincinnati at St. Louis. LINE: Bengals by 6.5. MY PICK: BENGALS. Because St. Louis has just been so bad for so long; and it looks unlikely that Sam Bradford will play.
Detroit at Oakland. LINE: Lions by 1. MY PICK: LIONS. The Raiders are banged-up and beaten-down over the past several weeks. The Lions, meanwhile, are getting healthy, and will have a motivated Ndamokung Suh back.
Green Bay at Kansas City. LINE: Packers by 13.5. MY PICK: PACKERS. Aaron Rodgers vs either Tyler Palko or, if they're lucky, a beat-up Kyle Orton. Yeah, think I'll go with Rodgers.
Carolina at Houston. LINE: Texans by 6.5. MY PICK: PANTHERS. Just a feeling here. But remember--T.J. Yates is still inexperienced. Cam Newton presents different problems than perhaps the Texans' D is used to. The Texans clinched a playoff berth last week; could there be a letdown? Look for this to be a very close game.
New England at Denver. LINE: Patriots by 6.5. MY PICK: PATRIOTS. Sorry, Tim Tebow. You've been amazing. But Tom Brady and the Pats are at a different level.
New Orleans at Minnesota. LINE: Saints by 6.5. MY PICK: SAINTS. The Saints are on the road, yes...but indoors, in a dome, Drew Brees still on a roll. Go with the Saints.
Washington at NY Giants. LINE: Giants by 6.5. MY PICK: GIANTS. Eli Manning and the Giants grabbed momentum last week, and they'll keep it.
NY Jets at Philadelphia. LINE: Eagles by 3. MY PICK: JETS. Wow--the Eagles win one game, and now suddenly they've righted the ship? The Jets have improved the past several weeks, and look for more Philly mistakes to cost them...
Tennessee at Indianapolis. LINE: Titans by 6.5. MY PICK: TITANS. The Colts can't wait for this season to end...
Pittsburgh at San Francisco. LINE: off the board. MY PICK: 49ERS. I imagine it's off the board due to the question of whether Ben Roethlisberger will play or not; my guess is, he won't...he's missed practice all week. Even if he does, that foot will really bother him, and the Niner defense at home will get after him. Look for San Fran to rebound this week.
"Win one for the Gipper."--George Gipp, University of Notre Dame student and football player, on his deathbed.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
SELF-ESTEEM ISSUES--AND HOW TO DEAL WITH THEM
This is from a Washington Post column that deals with personal issues and giving advice on them; this particular column is adapted from a recent online discussion. I find this particular column interesting because it deals with self-esteem issues and relationships, and it's an important issue for the Moebius community. Some of us at times struggle with self-esteem issues. Or--importantly--perhaps we know others who do, and we'd like to help them. But what's the best way to do that? And what of the role that serious, romantic relationships in all of it? Read on:
"Dear Carolyn:
My girlfriend broke up with me last Thursday. Essentially she got drunk, and some guy she admits to having a crush on kissed her.
I think the original breakup was an overreaction on her part. She struggles with some self-esteem issues even though she is an amazing person; she constantly tells me she doesn’t deserve to be with me, I treat her too well, etc. She is in therapy and addressing these issues and others.
We’ve been talking a lot the past week — some very painful, tearful conversations — and I think we’re getting back together.
I really, really want to make things work with her, but I’m concerned there are hazards ahead. Is there anything particular we need to watch for?
Hurting but hopeful
I realize this is ridiculously easy for me to say, from out in the ether with no feelings for either of you beyond a we-are-the-world love of humanity, but: It sounds as if she’d be better off navigating through her issues without the added complication of maintaining a relationship.
Carolyn:
I’ve heard this from two or three people, and I’m a bit confused by what it means. Isn’t having a supportive partner helpful when dealing with these types of issues?
Hurting but hopeful again
For medical issues or, say, an accident or similar trauma, a supportive partner can be a huge help, though it would still depend on whether the companionship energized her or drained her.
But if her issues are relationship-based — say, stemming from unhealthy family patterns — then having to bring her energy to two emotional fronts at once could overwhelm her, and delay her progress on both.
Re: Hopeful:
You are not a wildlife rehabilitator. Your job is not to fix this person. She probably does love you, but that doesn’t mean she’s ready to be your girlfriend. Let her work through this stuff and then come back when she’s done. And if she doesn’t realize she owes it to her partner to not be a hot mess, she’s definitely not ready to be in a relationship.
Anonymous
Yes. And if she doesn’t realize she owes it to herself not to be a hot mess — and needs to get herself together more than she needs a boyfriend — then she’s not ready for a relationship. Thanks.
Re: Hopeful:
I was that girl. Strong father, strong college boyfriend, I felt no sense of myself. Nobody can help with that! She will eventually sabotage this relationship one way or another. I had to “force” my boyfriend to finally break my heart, and HAD to be on my own five years to hear my voice. We’re long since happily married to each other.
That girl
It’s so easy not to realize you’re under someone else’s influence. When we tell ourselves something, it’s always in our own voice, so it naturally seems like our idea. (Though we can often hear the influence when we say things aloud to others.)
Recently de-nested adults are particularly susceptible, given the huge influence of even the most passive parents. Since people seek the comfort of the familiar, especially when feeling unsure, it’s easy to form relationships in the family mold and delay really testing that voice."
Sound advice.
"Magic is believing in yourself. If you can do that, you can
make anything happen." -Foka Gomez
This is from a Washington Post column that deals with personal issues and giving advice on them; this particular column is adapted from a recent online discussion. I find this particular column interesting because it deals with self-esteem issues and relationships, and it's an important issue for the Moebius community. Some of us at times struggle with self-esteem issues. Or--importantly--perhaps we know others who do, and we'd like to help them. But what's the best way to do that? And what of the role that serious, romantic relationships in all of it? Read on:
"Dear Carolyn:
My girlfriend broke up with me last Thursday. Essentially she got drunk, and some guy she admits to having a crush on kissed her.
I think the original breakup was an overreaction on her part. She struggles with some self-esteem issues even though she is an amazing person; she constantly tells me she doesn’t deserve to be with me, I treat her too well, etc. She is in therapy and addressing these issues and others.
We’ve been talking a lot the past week — some very painful, tearful conversations — and I think we’re getting back together.
I really, really want to make things work with her, but I’m concerned there are hazards ahead. Is there anything particular we need to watch for?
Hurting but hopeful
I realize this is ridiculously easy for me to say, from out in the ether with no feelings for either of you beyond a we-are-the-world love of humanity, but: It sounds as if she’d be better off navigating through her issues without the added complication of maintaining a relationship.
Carolyn:
I’ve heard this from two or three people, and I’m a bit confused by what it means. Isn’t having a supportive partner helpful when dealing with these types of issues?
Hurting but hopeful again
For medical issues or, say, an accident or similar trauma, a supportive partner can be a huge help, though it would still depend on whether the companionship energized her or drained her.
But if her issues are relationship-based — say, stemming from unhealthy family patterns — then having to bring her energy to two emotional fronts at once could overwhelm her, and delay her progress on both.
Re: Hopeful:
You are not a wildlife rehabilitator. Your job is not to fix this person. She probably does love you, but that doesn’t mean she’s ready to be your girlfriend. Let her work through this stuff and then come back when she’s done. And if she doesn’t realize she owes it to her partner to not be a hot mess, she’s definitely not ready to be in a relationship.
Anonymous
Yes. And if she doesn’t realize she owes it to herself not to be a hot mess — and needs to get herself together more than she needs a boyfriend — then she’s not ready for a relationship. Thanks.
Re: Hopeful:
I was that girl. Strong father, strong college boyfriend, I felt no sense of myself. Nobody can help with that! She will eventually sabotage this relationship one way or another. I had to “force” my boyfriend to finally break my heart, and HAD to be on my own five years to hear my voice. We’re long since happily married to each other.
That girl
It’s so easy not to realize you’re under someone else’s influence. When we tell ourselves something, it’s always in our own voice, so it naturally seems like our idea. (Though we can often hear the influence when we say things aloud to others.)
Recently de-nested adults are particularly susceptible, given the huge influence of even the most passive parents. Since people seek the comfort of the familiar, especially when feeling unsure, it’s easy to form relationships in the family mold and delay really testing that voice."
Sound advice.
"Magic is believing in yourself. If you can do that, you can
make anything happen." -Foka Gomez
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
COFFEE--GOOD FUEL FOR A WORKOUT
Many of my Moebius (and other) friends love their morning coffee. So here's some good news--coffee and exercise can go together:
"Can a cup of coffee motivate you to relish your trips to the gym this winter? That question is at the heart of a notable study of caffeine and exercise, one of several new experiments suggesting that, whatever your sport, caffeine may allow you to perform better and enjoy yourself more.
Scientists and many athletes have known for years, of course, that a cup of coffee before a workout jolts athletic performance, especially in endurance sports like distance running and cycling. Caffeine has been proven to increase the number of fat cells circulating in the bloodstream, which enables people to run or pedal longer (since their muscles can absorb and burn that fat for fuel and save the body’s limited stores of carbohydrates until later in the workout). As a result, caffeine, which is legal under International Olympic Committee rules, is the most popular drug in sports. More than two-thirds of about 20,680 Olympic athletes studied for a recent report had caffeine in their urine, with use highest among triathletes, cyclists and rowers.
But whether and how caffeine affects other, less-aerobic activities, like weight training or playing a stop-and-go team sport like soccer or basketball, has been less clear.
So researchers at Coventry University in England recently recruited 13 fit young men and asked them to repeat a standard weight-training gym regimen on several occasions. An hour before one workout, the men consumed a sugar-free energy drink containing caffeine. An hour before another, they drank the same beverage, minus the caffeine. Then the men lifted, pressed and squatted, performing each exercise until they were exhausted.
Exhaustion arrived much later for those who’d had caffeine first. After swallowing the caffeinated beverage, the men completed significantly more repetitions of the exercises than after the placebo. They also reported feeling subjectively less tired during the entire bout and, in perhaps the most interesting finding, said that they were eager to repeat the whole workout again soon.
“Essentially, we found that with the caffeinated drink, the person felt more able to invest effort,” says Michael Duncan, a senior lecturer in sports science at the University of Exeter in England and lead author of the study. “They would put more work into the training session, and when the session was finished, in the presence of the caffeinated drink, they were more psychologically ready to go again.”
Instead, Dr. Duncan says, he believes that caffeine “antagonizes adenosine,” a substance in muscles that builds up during exercise and blunts the force of contractions. The more adenosine in a muscle, the less force it generates. Caffeine reduces adenosine levels, “which then enables more forceful muscular contractions and delays fatigue,” Dr. Duncan says. “That’s the theory, anyway,” he adds.
Additional mechanisms may also be at work, other research suggests. For an experiment published last month in The Journal of Applied Physiology, researchers asked a group of volunteers who regularly play team sports to complete a grueling workout designed to simulate the physical exertion of a soccer or basketball game. Such sports commonly involve repeated bouts of intense sprinting, but little prolonged slower running. Most of the effort is anaerobic.
In the test, the volunteers performed about 16 percent better if they had ingested a caffeine capsule 70 minutes beforehand. They also, as it turned out, had far less potassium in the fluid between their muscles afterward. “We believe that potassium buildup is involved” in the kind of fatigue that occurs during anaerobic activities, like team sports and weight training, says one of the study’s authors, Magni Mohr, an exercise physiologist affiliated with both the University of Exeter and the University of Copenhagen in Denmark.
At the same time, caffeine, while affecting muscles, seems also to have a striking effect on the central nervous system and on those parts of the brain involved in mood, alertness and fine motor coordination during exercise. In a study published last month in The British Journal of Sports Medicine, soccer players dribbled, headed and kicked the ball more accurately if they’d had caffeine than if they hadn’t.
All of which would seem to indicate that a grande Americano is the ideal sports beverage. But, Dr. Mohr cautions, many questions remain. “We don’t know the best dose” of caffeine to provide performance benefits without undesirable side effects, he says, like heightened blood pressure or the jitters. In his study, volunteers consumed the equivalent of more than five large cups of brewed coffee before their workout.
Similarly, it’s not known whether people who swill cappuccinos and green tea all day get the same benefits from dosing themselves just before a workout as people who only occasionally drink caffeine, or whether the hour before a workout is the ideal moment to imbibe. Dr. Mohr suspects “it’s likely that you get more effect” if you’re not habituated to the drug, but he and others are currently studying those and similar issues and expect results soon.
In the meantime, “probably everyone can get some” fatigue-delaying and mood-enhancing benefits from caffeine, Dr. Mohr says — meaning that your gym gear should probably include a travel mug."
"Don't spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it
into a door." -Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Many of my Moebius (and other) friends love their morning coffee. So here's some good news--coffee and exercise can go together:
"Can a cup of coffee motivate you to relish your trips to the gym this winter? That question is at the heart of a notable study of caffeine and exercise, one of several new experiments suggesting that, whatever your sport, caffeine may allow you to perform better and enjoy yourself more.
Scientists and many athletes have known for years, of course, that a cup of coffee before a workout jolts athletic performance, especially in endurance sports like distance running and cycling. Caffeine has been proven to increase the number of fat cells circulating in the bloodstream, which enables people to run or pedal longer (since their muscles can absorb and burn that fat for fuel and save the body’s limited stores of carbohydrates until later in the workout). As a result, caffeine, which is legal under International Olympic Committee rules, is the most popular drug in sports. More than two-thirds of about 20,680 Olympic athletes studied for a recent report had caffeine in their urine, with use highest among triathletes, cyclists and rowers.
But whether and how caffeine affects other, less-aerobic activities, like weight training or playing a stop-and-go team sport like soccer or basketball, has been less clear.
So researchers at Coventry University in England recently recruited 13 fit young men and asked them to repeat a standard weight-training gym regimen on several occasions. An hour before one workout, the men consumed a sugar-free energy drink containing caffeine. An hour before another, they drank the same beverage, minus the caffeine. Then the men lifted, pressed and squatted, performing each exercise until they were exhausted.
Exhaustion arrived much later for those who’d had caffeine first. After swallowing the caffeinated beverage, the men completed significantly more repetitions of the exercises than after the placebo. They also reported feeling subjectively less tired during the entire bout and, in perhaps the most interesting finding, said that they were eager to repeat the whole workout again soon.
“Essentially, we found that with the caffeinated drink, the person felt more able to invest effort,” says Michael Duncan, a senior lecturer in sports science at the University of Exeter in England and lead author of the study. “They would put more work into the training session, and when the session was finished, in the presence of the caffeinated drink, they were more psychologically ready to go again.”
How caffeine influences the physiology and psychology of weight trainers isn’t fully understood, Dr. Duncan says. In contrast to endurance sports, an increase in fat cells in the blood wouldn’t provide much benefit in this kind of exercise.
Additional mechanisms may also be at work, other research suggests. For an experiment published last month in The Journal of Applied Physiology, researchers asked a group of volunteers who regularly play team sports to complete a grueling workout designed to simulate the physical exertion of a soccer or basketball game. Such sports commonly involve repeated bouts of intense sprinting, but little prolonged slower running. Most of the effort is anaerobic.
In the test, the volunteers performed about 16 percent better if they had ingested a caffeine capsule 70 minutes beforehand. They also, as it turned out, had far less potassium in the fluid between their muscles afterward. “We believe that potassium buildup is involved” in the kind of fatigue that occurs during anaerobic activities, like team sports and weight training, says one of the study’s authors, Magni Mohr, an exercise physiologist affiliated with both the University of Exeter and the University of Copenhagen in Denmark.
At the same time, caffeine, while affecting muscles, seems also to have a striking effect on the central nervous system and on those parts of the brain involved in mood, alertness and fine motor coordination during exercise. In a study published last month in The British Journal of Sports Medicine, soccer players dribbled, headed and kicked the ball more accurately if they’d had caffeine than if they hadn’t.
All of which would seem to indicate that a grande Americano is the ideal sports beverage. But, Dr. Mohr cautions, many questions remain. “We don’t know the best dose” of caffeine to provide performance benefits without undesirable side effects, he says, like heightened blood pressure or the jitters. In his study, volunteers consumed the equivalent of more than five large cups of brewed coffee before their workout.
Similarly, it’s not known whether people who swill cappuccinos and green tea all day get the same benefits from dosing themselves just before a workout as people who only occasionally drink caffeine, or whether the hour before a workout is the ideal moment to imbibe. Dr. Mohr suspects “it’s likely that you get more effect” if you’re not habituated to the drug, but he and others are currently studying those and similar issues and expect results soon.
In the meantime, “probably everyone can get some” fatigue-delaying and mood-enhancing benefits from caffeine, Dr. Mohr says — meaning that your gym gear should probably include a travel mug."
"Don't spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it
into a door." -Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
THE QUESTION OF SLEEP
Always something that people wonder about--why do some of us need a lot of sleep, while others of us don't? A piece today briefly explores the issue:
"Excessively long nights of sleep can be a sign that something is wrong. But in some people who are otherwise healthy, a need for unusually long amounts of sleep may simply be a genetic predisposition, writes C. Claiborne Ray in this week’s Science Times.
Updating your resume? Jobs and resumes are always important issues to be thinking about for those in our community. So one thing you want to do, when it comes to your resume, is avoid those overused "buzzwords" often found in resumes. Such as? Read on:
"Are you highly motivated? A creative, innovative thinker with a successful track record in effective problem solving? What about your organizational and communication skills? Do you have extensive experience maneuvering a dynamic workplace?
If any of this sounds familiar, then you've probably used one of the top 10 overused professional buzzwords in the United States in 2011, according to career-networking site LinkedIn.
The site culled its top 10 list from 135 million member profiles worldwide, finding that "creative" was the most overused word globally and in the United States. After that, the list goes:
2. Organizational
3. Effective
4. Extensive experience
5. Track record
6. Motivated
7. Innovative
8. Problem solving
9. Communication skills
10. Dynamic
There are several repeat offenders from 2010's rankings, including "extensive experience," "innovative" and "motivated."
Meanwhile, "team player," "results-oriented," "entrepreneurial" and "fast-paced" fell off the list to make room this year for "creative," "communications skills," "organizational" and "effective."
The list also delivers small tweaks from last year. "Proven track record" is now "track record" and "problem solver" has become "problem solving."
What does it all mean? That the words are basically meaningless and don't help distinguish you from other job seekers, said Nicole Williams, LinkedIn's connection director and author of the book "Girl on Top."
"Banish buzzwords from your profile," she said. "Use language that illustrates your unique professional accomplishments and experiences. Give concrete examples of results you've achieved whenever possible and reference attributes that are specific to you."
In other words, with a new year around the corner and unemployment hovering around 9%, it might be a good time to dust off your resume and rethink the words you use to conjure your professional image.
The 2011 analysis also includes top buzzwords for countries in which LinkedIn conducted the study:
Creative: Australia, Canada, Germany, the Netherlands, the United Kingdom and the United States
Multinational: Brazil
Dynamic: France
Effective: India
Problem solving: Italy
Motivated: Ireland
Managerial: Spain
Track record: Singapore"
"You are more likely to act yourself into feelings, than
feel yourself into action." -Dr. Jerome Brunner
Always something that people wonder about--why do some of us need a lot of sleep, while others of us don't? A piece today briefly explores the issue:
"Excessively long nights of sleep can be a sign that something is wrong. But in some people who are otherwise healthy, a need for unusually long amounts of sleep may simply be a genetic predisposition, writes C. Claiborne Ray in this week’s Science Times.
Sleep duration, or quantity, varies widely and may be genetically determined, said Dr. Ana C. Krieger, medical director of the Center for Sleep Medicine at Weill Cornell Medical College. Some people are considered “long sleepers” and need to make sure they get enough sleep to function normally during the day. They may be prone to infections if lack of sleep interferes with the immune function.MEANWHILE...LOOKING FOR A JOB?
In some instances, Dr. Krieger said, people appear to sleep longer, but the sleep is fragmented. In that case, an evaluation by a sleep expert is recommended.
Updating your resume? Jobs and resumes are always important issues to be thinking about for those in our community. So one thing you want to do, when it comes to your resume, is avoid those overused "buzzwords" often found in resumes. Such as? Read on:
"Are you highly motivated? A creative, innovative thinker with a successful track record in effective problem solving? What about your organizational and communication skills? Do you have extensive experience maneuvering a dynamic workplace?
If any of this sounds familiar, then you've probably used one of the top 10 overused professional buzzwords in the United States in 2011, according to career-networking site LinkedIn.
The site culled its top 10 list from 135 million member profiles worldwide, finding that "creative" was the most overused word globally and in the United States. After that, the list goes:
2. Organizational
3. Effective
4. Extensive experience
5. Track record
6. Motivated
7. Innovative
8. Problem solving
9. Communication skills
10. Dynamic
There are several repeat offenders from 2010's rankings, including "extensive experience," "innovative" and "motivated."
Meanwhile, "team player," "results-oriented," "entrepreneurial" and "fast-paced" fell off the list to make room this year for "creative," "communications skills," "organizational" and "effective."
The list also delivers small tweaks from last year. "Proven track record" is now "track record" and "problem solver" has become "problem solving."
What does it all mean? That the words are basically meaningless and don't help distinguish you from other job seekers, said Nicole Williams, LinkedIn's connection director and author of the book "Girl on Top."
"Banish buzzwords from your profile," she said. "Use language that illustrates your unique professional accomplishments and experiences. Give concrete examples of results you've achieved whenever possible and reference attributes that are specific to you."
In other words, with a new year around the corner and unemployment hovering around 9%, it might be a good time to dust off your resume and rethink the words you use to conjure your professional image.
The 2011 analysis also includes top buzzwords for countries in which LinkedIn conducted the study:
Creative: Australia, Canada, Germany, the Netherlands, the United Kingdom and the United States
Multinational: Brazil
Dynamic: France
Effective: India
Problem solving: Italy
Motivated: Ireland
Managerial: Spain
Track record: Singapore"
"You are more likely to act yourself into feelings, than
feel yourself into action." -Dr. Jerome Brunner
Monday, December 12, 2011
TODAY, A MUSING...ON THE SUBJECT OF CONFIDENCE
Have any of you ever felt this way? Try this:
Let's say you do your job, whatever it happens to be. You think you certainly did all right, that you know what you're doing, but hey, you've been doing it for a while. Another day, another dollar.
But anyway, you do it. And then you regularly start to get congratulations from others on what you've done. Wow, that was great. So glad to be a part of it. Keep up the great work! I'm going to tell others about you. They say all these things, and more.
And so at first, of course, you feel good. Hey, who doesn't like to receive praise? Always nice to believe you've done a good job, and then to actually have people tell you that---terrific!
But then...ahhh, then. Maybe then the doubts creep in. After all, you've got Moebius Syndrome, or maybe some other physical difference. You're used to wondering about your abilities. Because you know others have doubted them. You're used to not fitting in, to having people stare at you, not because they like what you're doing, but because you make them uncomfortable. Maybe you've doubted yourself. So, when the praise comes...hmmm. Maybe you overthink it. Man. Are people really praising me because I did a good job? Or are they saying nice things because they immediately, when they saw me, assumed I was slow and retarded or lord knows what else they assumed, and they're just pleasantly surprised I slightly exceeded expectations? Are people praising me because they feel sorry for me?
Hey, I betcha many of us have been there, and have done it. Even when we're happy, we find ways to make ourselves sad. My advice: don't do it. Just don't go there. Don't doubt yourself. Don't beat yourself up. Why? Because we just know everyone else in the world is being sincere?
Well, no, because in fact...we DON'T know that. Let's be real. But instead, what I'm saying is this: focus on what you do know. You DO know how hard you work, you do know your abilities, you do know all you've done to overcome and compensate for whatever flaws and weaknesses you have. You know the kind of job you do. You know how well you can do it. Those are all things you know. So hey...when you think about it, you probably deserve a good deal of that praise! Whether others meant it or not!!
And that's something to feel good about this holiday season. Give yourself a present: throw away those doubts. :+)
"Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad,
it's experience." -Victoria Holt
Have any of you ever felt this way? Try this:
Let's say you do your job, whatever it happens to be. You think you certainly did all right, that you know what you're doing, but hey, you've been doing it for a while. Another day, another dollar.
But anyway, you do it. And then you regularly start to get congratulations from others on what you've done. Wow, that was great. So glad to be a part of it. Keep up the great work! I'm going to tell others about you. They say all these things, and more.
And so at first, of course, you feel good. Hey, who doesn't like to receive praise? Always nice to believe you've done a good job, and then to actually have people tell you that---terrific!
But then...ahhh, then. Maybe then the doubts creep in. After all, you've got Moebius Syndrome, or maybe some other physical difference. You're used to wondering about your abilities. Because you know others have doubted them. You're used to not fitting in, to having people stare at you, not because they like what you're doing, but because you make them uncomfortable. Maybe you've doubted yourself. So, when the praise comes...hmmm. Maybe you overthink it. Man. Are people really praising me because I did a good job? Or are they saying nice things because they immediately, when they saw me, assumed I was slow and retarded or lord knows what else they assumed, and they're just pleasantly surprised I slightly exceeded expectations? Are people praising me because they feel sorry for me?
Hey, I betcha many of us have been there, and have done it. Even when we're happy, we find ways to make ourselves sad. My advice: don't do it. Just don't go there. Don't doubt yourself. Don't beat yourself up. Why? Because we just know everyone else in the world is being sincere?
Well, no, because in fact...we DON'T know that. Let's be real. But instead, what I'm saying is this: focus on what you do know. You DO know how hard you work, you do know your abilities, you do know all you've done to overcome and compensate for whatever flaws and weaknesses you have. You know the kind of job you do. You know how well you can do it. Those are all things you know. So hey...when you think about it, you probably deserve a good deal of that praise! Whether others meant it or not!!
And that's something to feel good about this holiday season. Give yourself a present: throw away those doubts. :+)
"Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad,
it's experience." -Victoria Holt
Friday, December 9, 2011
HOW TO DEVELOP A THICK SKIN
These are actually a series of comments made by different people; some of them have been in the public eye, and some haven't. But all of them have gone through various forms of adversity--and all of us with Moebiuis Syndrome or other physical differences know something about adversity, right? But we're not the only ones to go through it. Others do too, even people whom you would not suspect of having gone through it. So how have they dealt with it? Read on:
"Be (a Little) Egotistical
For some, having a thick skin means preparing for the worst -- arming yourself for a huge battle. But that notion allows negativity to define you. Rather, I work to maintain an unwaveringly extra-positive self-image. Even when my contract wasn't renewed on Saturday Night Live last year, I remained 100 percent confident in my abilities. One decision on someone else's part, whether they're affirming or rejecting you, is ultimately minor. You are the constant, and your own opinion of yourself is what matters most.
Jenny Slate is a Brooklyn-based actress and comedian. With Dean Fleischer-Camp, she recently cowrote the book "Marcel the Shell With Shoes On: Things About Me" ($19, amazon.com).
Remember: It's Not You; It's the Situation
During a game, coaches and players can yell and scream and make very personal comments -- which is when I remind myself that they're just upset about the call. They aren't attacking me. Instead of bristling and reacting, I calmly ask, "Are you talking to me?" or "What did you say?" With those questions, I give the person a chance to back off and take stock of what he's saying. My unruffled demeanor causes the coach or player to reassess his own approach.
Bill Carollo officiated NFL games, including two Super Bowls, from 1989 to 2008. He is the current director of officiating for the Big Ten Conference, based in Park Ridge, Illinois.
Practice Selective Listening
The setup and menu at my restaurant are unorthodox. The cuisine is from a specific region in Thailand, the dishes are meant to be shared, and most of the plates should be eaten with your hands or just a spoon. Not everyone is going to enjoy the experience, but I can't always accommodate everyone's desires and expectations. If I did, I would be serving generic meals, because I would be trying to please everybody instead of doing what I do best.
Andy Ricker, the chef and owner of Pok Pok, in Portland, Oregon, was named the best chef in the Northwest by the James Beard Foundation this year.
Get Angry, Not Sad
When I first started writing, I had a very hard time getting published. Over the course of 14 years, I collected about 250 rejection slips. I could have just gotten hurt and depressed. But I chose to become defiant, saying to myself, "Someday they'll be sorry. I'll write an even better story, and I won't send it to them." To this day, each time I'm criticized, I take that negative energy and use it to go back to work and push even harder.
Lisa Alther is the author of six novels. Her most recent novel is "Washed in Blood" ($26, amazon.com). She lives in New York City and Burlington, Vermont.
Focus on Something Good About Your Criticizer
When you anticipate a hurtful comment, you relay fear or dread with your eyes and/or body language -- and that will make the critique more likely to happen. So try this: Find a positive attribute of the person criticizing you. It could be as minor as the color of her fingernail polish or the charming way she laughs. Think about that the next time you see her and your warmth will be reflected in your eyes and your demeanor. She will feel respected, and nine times out of 10, she'll reciprocate back to you.
Elayne Savage, Ph.D., is the author of "Don't Take It Personally!: The Art of Dealing With Rejection" ($17, amazon.com). Her psychotherapy and workplace-coaching practice is based in Berkeley, California. "
And now, it's time for...
FRIDAY FOOTBALL PICKS!
Last week's record: 10 wins, 8 misses.
Hey...over .500 at least! Now on to this week's NFL picks:
NFL PICKS
Indianapolis at Baltimore. LINE: Ravens by 16.5. MY PICK: RAVENS. Yes, yes, the Colts somehow covered the spread last week against New England. Chalk that up to the Pats' leaky defense. The Ravens meanwhile are a much more physical team.
Houston at Cincinnati. LINE: Bengals by 3. MY PICK: TEXANS. T.J. Yates, despite being Houston's 3rd string QB, showed last week that he can get some things done. But even more importantly are the unsung heroes of the Texans--their run game, and their very aggressive, tough defense. I think they can ride these to another low-scoring victory.
Oakland at Green Bay. LINE: Packers by 11.5. MY PICK: PACKERS. At home, vs a Raider team that laid a big egg in Miami? You have to go with Aaron Rodgers.
Kansas City at NY Jets. LINE: Jets by 10.5. MY PICK: JETS. Yes, Kansas City did well last week against a Jay Cutler-less and then Matt Forte-less Bears team. But the Jets have most of their weapons, and Tyler Palko for the Chiefs still has a ways to go.
Minnesota at Detroit. LINE: Lions by 10. MY PICK: LIONS. Adrian Peterson and Christian Ponder both are dinged up; so, importantly, is the Vikings' secondary, which should allow Calvin Johnson to have a big day.
New Orleans at Tennessee. LINE: Saints by 3.5. MY PICK: SAINTS. Yes, Tennessee and Chris Johnson are playing better lately, and are at home. But speaking of playing better--so are the Saints, and I predict playing on the road won't be the issue for them many think it will be, at least this week.
Philadelphia at Miami. LINE: Dolphins by 3. MY PICK: DOLPHINS. Some this week are pointing to Michael Vick's return, or, historically, to how well Andy Reid's teams do after a bye (or in giving Reid plenty of time to prepare, as he has this week since the Eagles played last Thursday). Me? I see this: the Eagles have not played well at all for several weeks, and there's been little sign of a change. The Dolphins ARE playing well. Stick with the fish.
New England at Washington. LINE: Patriots by 8. MY PICK: PATRIOTS. Too many weapons for New England; too many injuries for the Redskins.
Atlanta at Carolina. LINE: Falcons by 3. MY PICK: FALCONS. A tricky one; the Falcons had a poor showing last week, while Carolina had fun against the fading Buccaneers. But the Falcons remain the more solid and talented team, and have their playoff lives on the line. Look for all that to show this week.
Tampa Bay at Jacksonville. LINE: Buccaneers by 2. MY PICK: BUCS. Two teams spiraling downwards...but look for Josh Freeman to have a good day against a depleted Jags' secondary.
San Francisco at Arizona. LINE: 49ers by 4. MY PICK: NINERS. Again, this is a trickier one than many might think; Arizona has improved in recent weeks, especially defensively (they had something like 5 sacks last week against the Cowboys). But again, San Francisco's very stout, consistent defense will be the difference here.
Chicago at Denver. LINE: Broncos by 3.5. MY PICK: BRONCOS. This will not be an easy game. Look for Brian Urlacher and the Bears' defense to come to play, and to try and create turnovers to give their struggling offense a boost. But the Bears are without Cutler and Forte, and have to go with Caleb Hanie; and the Broncos have Tim Tebow, who knows how to win. It's still Tebow Time in Denver.
Buffalo at San Diego. LINE: Chargers by 7. MY PICK: CHARGERS. The Chargers have gotten healthier. Philip Rivers Monday night appeared to come out of his funk. Meanwhile the Bills have crumbled; doesn't look like it will stop any time soon.
NY Giants at Dallas. LINE: Cowboys by 3.5. MY PICK: COWBOYS. Very tough game to call. The Giants, especially offensively, played very well in losing to Green Bay. The Cowboys lost to Arizona, but then they always play down to the level of their competition. You just have the feeling, in the end, that the Cowboys will certainly not look past this game (as they may have done at Arizona) and that Tony Romo will find a way to win this one.
St. Louis at Seattle. LINE: Seahawks by 10. MY PICK: SEAHAWKS. Because the Rams have been horrible, and show no sign of improvement.
"I can accept failure, but I can't accept not trying." - Michael Jordan
These are actually a series of comments made by different people; some of them have been in the public eye, and some haven't. But all of them have gone through various forms of adversity--and all of us with Moebiuis Syndrome or other physical differences know something about adversity, right? But we're not the only ones to go through it. Others do too, even people whom you would not suspect of having gone through it. So how have they dealt with it? Read on:
"Be (a Little) Egotistical
For some, having a thick skin means preparing for the worst -- arming yourself for a huge battle. But that notion allows negativity to define you. Rather, I work to maintain an unwaveringly extra-positive self-image. Even when my contract wasn't renewed on Saturday Night Live last year, I remained 100 percent confident in my abilities. One decision on someone else's part, whether they're affirming or rejecting you, is ultimately minor. You are the constant, and your own opinion of yourself is what matters most.
Jenny Slate is a Brooklyn-based actress and comedian. With Dean Fleischer-Camp, she recently cowrote the book "Marcel the Shell With Shoes On: Things About Me" ($19, amazon.com).
Remember: It's Not You; It's the Situation
During a game, coaches and players can yell and scream and make very personal comments -- which is when I remind myself that they're just upset about the call. They aren't attacking me. Instead of bristling and reacting, I calmly ask, "Are you talking to me?" or "What did you say?" With those questions, I give the person a chance to back off and take stock of what he's saying. My unruffled demeanor causes the coach or player to reassess his own approach.
Bill Carollo officiated NFL games, including two Super Bowls, from 1989 to 2008. He is the current director of officiating for the Big Ten Conference, based in Park Ridge, Illinois.
Practice Selective Listening
The setup and menu at my restaurant are unorthodox. The cuisine is from a specific region in Thailand, the dishes are meant to be shared, and most of the plates should be eaten with your hands or just a spoon. Not everyone is going to enjoy the experience, but I can't always accommodate everyone's desires and expectations. If I did, I would be serving generic meals, because I would be trying to please everybody instead of doing what I do best.
Andy Ricker, the chef and owner of Pok Pok, in Portland, Oregon, was named the best chef in the Northwest by the James Beard Foundation this year.
Get Angry, Not Sad
When I first started writing, I had a very hard time getting published. Over the course of 14 years, I collected about 250 rejection slips. I could have just gotten hurt and depressed. But I chose to become defiant, saying to myself, "Someday they'll be sorry. I'll write an even better story, and I won't send it to them." To this day, each time I'm criticized, I take that negative energy and use it to go back to work and push even harder.
Lisa Alther is the author of six novels. Her most recent novel is "Washed in Blood" ($26, amazon.com). She lives in New York City and Burlington, Vermont.
Focus on Something Good About Your Criticizer
When you anticipate a hurtful comment, you relay fear or dread with your eyes and/or body language -- and that will make the critique more likely to happen. So try this: Find a positive attribute of the person criticizing you. It could be as minor as the color of her fingernail polish or the charming way she laughs. Think about that the next time you see her and your warmth will be reflected in your eyes and your demeanor. She will feel respected, and nine times out of 10, she'll reciprocate back to you.
Elayne Savage, Ph.D., is the author of "Don't Take It Personally!: The Art of Dealing With Rejection" ($17, amazon.com). Her psychotherapy and workplace-coaching practice is based in Berkeley, California. "
And now, it's time for...
FRIDAY FOOTBALL PICKS!
Last week's record: 10 wins, 8 misses.
Hey...over .500 at least! Now on to this week's NFL picks:
NFL PICKS
Indianapolis at Baltimore. LINE: Ravens by 16.5. MY PICK: RAVENS. Yes, yes, the Colts somehow covered the spread last week against New England. Chalk that up to the Pats' leaky defense. The Ravens meanwhile are a much more physical team.
Houston at Cincinnati. LINE: Bengals by 3. MY PICK: TEXANS. T.J. Yates, despite being Houston's 3rd string QB, showed last week that he can get some things done. But even more importantly are the unsung heroes of the Texans--their run game, and their very aggressive, tough defense. I think they can ride these to another low-scoring victory.
Oakland at Green Bay. LINE: Packers by 11.5. MY PICK: PACKERS. At home, vs a Raider team that laid a big egg in Miami? You have to go with Aaron Rodgers.
Kansas City at NY Jets. LINE: Jets by 10.5. MY PICK: JETS. Yes, Kansas City did well last week against a Jay Cutler-less and then Matt Forte-less Bears team. But the Jets have most of their weapons, and Tyler Palko for the Chiefs still has a ways to go.
Minnesota at Detroit. LINE: Lions by 10. MY PICK: LIONS. Adrian Peterson and Christian Ponder both are dinged up; so, importantly, is the Vikings' secondary, which should allow Calvin Johnson to have a big day.
New Orleans at Tennessee. LINE: Saints by 3.5. MY PICK: SAINTS. Yes, Tennessee and Chris Johnson are playing better lately, and are at home. But speaking of playing better--so are the Saints, and I predict playing on the road won't be the issue for them many think it will be, at least this week.
Philadelphia at Miami. LINE: Dolphins by 3. MY PICK: DOLPHINS. Some this week are pointing to Michael Vick's return, or, historically, to how well Andy Reid's teams do after a bye (or in giving Reid plenty of time to prepare, as he has this week since the Eagles played last Thursday). Me? I see this: the Eagles have not played well at all for several weeks, and there's been little sign of a change. The Dolphins ARE playing well. Stick with the fish.
New England at Washington. LINE: Patriots by 8. MY PICK: PATRIOTS. Too many weapons for New England; too many injuries for the Redskins.
Atlanta at Carolina. LINE: Falcons by 3. MY PICK: FALCONS. A tricky one; the Falcons had a poor showing last week, while Carolina had fun against the fading Buccaneers. But the Falcons remain the more solid and talented team, and have their playoff lives on the line. Look for all that to show this week.
Tampa Bay at Jacksonville. LINE: Buccaneers by 2. MY PICK: BUCS. Two teams spiraling downwards...but look for Josh Freeman to have a good day against a depleted Jags' secondary.
San Francisco at Arizona. LINE: 49ers by 4. MY PICK: NINERS. Again, this is a trickier one than many might think; Arizona has improved in recent weeks, especially defensively (they had something like 5 sacks last week against the Cowboys). But again, San Francisco's very stout, consistent defense will be the difference here.
Chicago at Denver. LINE: Broncos by 3.5. MY PICK: BRONCOS. This will not be an easy game. Look for Brian Urlacher and the Bears' defense to come to play, and to try and create turnovers to give their struggling offense a boost. But the Bears are without Cutler and Forte, and have to go with Caleb Hanie; and the Broncos have Tim Tebow, who knows how to win. It's still Tebow Time in Denver.
Buffalo at San Diego. LINE: Chargers by 7. MY PICK: CHARGERS. The Chargers have gotten healthier. Philip Rivers Monday night appeared to come out of his funk. Meanwhile the Bills have crumbled; doesn't look like it will stop any time soon.
NY Giants at Dallas. LINE: Cowboys by 3.5. MY PICK: COWBOYS. Very tough game to call. The Giants, especially offensively, played very well in losing to Green Bay. The Cowboys lost to Arizona, but then they always play down to the level of their competition. You just have the feeling, in the end, that the Cowboys will certainly not look past this game (as they may have done at Arizona) and that Tony Romo will find a way to win this one.
St. Louis at Seattle. LINE: Seahawks by 10. MY PICK: SEAHAWKS. Because the Rams have been horrible, and show no sign of improvement.
"I can accept failure, but I can't accept not trying." - Michael Jordan
Thursday, December 8, 2011
FOR MOEBIUS MOMS AND DADS: THE EFFECTS OF YOUR MOEBIUS CHILD'S STRESS
Actually this goes for all children. If you, as a child, face stress and adversity as a child, it can affect you for your entire life. It can leave scars. But, as the article points out, all is not lost. Read on:
"The idea that the adversity we experience as children will go on to wound us forever riles me as being particularly unjust.
But that’s exactly what Dr. Rajita Sinha, director of the Yale Stress Center, explained a few weeks ago, when we spoke by phone about her research on stress, anxiety and addiction.
“The stress and motivational systems in the brain are really susceptible to learning and adaptation,” said Sinha. “As children we begin to adapt to our environment and learn things from it. If a child has a pervasive sense of adversity in his or her childhood for whatever reason, the brain responds to that kind of hardship by becoming more sensitized to stress. It gets hard-wired to react much more strongly than someone else who didn’t experience a lot of turmoil. So, to some extent, you will always have an elevated level of stress.”
“Fascinating.” I replied calmly, when what I was really thinking was: “That is so bloody unfair!”
I was nine when I fled the Iranian revolution and it would be another four years of going from country to country before I would see my immediate family again. Am I really doomed to lifelong vulnerability to stress, depression and possibly addiction over something I had no power to change? How many people have any control over their fractured childhoods? It is exactly when we are all at our most helpless and vulnerable.
“What kinds of adversities are we talking about?” I asked.
“Parents’ conflict, physical and emotional abuse, sexual abuse, witnessing violence, loss of a parent, dealing with a parent who has a mental illness or addictive disorder. Also, divorce. But that doesn’t mean that all divorce will be in that category. There’s always the issue of how it’s handled. But in general, divorce has been related to stress-related disorders and addictive behavior as well.”
“What about bullying?” I asked, recalling a recent Youtube video made by a young boy who was being taunted to within an inch of his life.
“I haven’t personally seen data,” said Sinha, “but that may be among the types of stressors that lead to risk.”
“If our stress system is so adaptive, then how come it doesn’t just adapt to these higher levels of stress? What happened to ‘that which does not kill us makes us stronger?’”
“That’s a valid question,” Sinha explained. “The stress pathway is developing during childhood. The stress system needs time to grow and become fully functional. The same goes for the reward system, the pleasure pathway which responds to high-fat, high-sugar foods. So you’re right, we are one of the most adaptive animals, but we also take a long time to develop and it is during that period of development when we want to protect our children. And unfortunately that is eroding, in terms of children who have to live with all kinds of adversity.”
She paused for a moment. And then: “Of course there are the protective factors.”
Aha!
“What protective factors?” I asked.
One of the most robust protective factors - and it comes from our ancestors - is that we are social beings. Number one is social and family support, she explained.
Second is education, which is a key component of brain development. The more children are challenged in protected environments, such as school, in ways like learning to make good decisions and choices and thinking abstractly, the more they are able to adapt to difficulties.
There is also personality-shaping optimism and emotional self-regulation. These are all the kinds of support that will have to come from the family and school environments.
And then there are other resilience factors. Is the child’s environment enriched? Does he or she have other kinds of stimulation that help the body and mind grow? Are there opportunities for physical development and exercise, which will contribute to neurogenesis (simply, the brain cells growing)?
“When are kids most vulnerable?” I asked.
“I’m not minimizing the effects of adversity at any age,” said Sinha. “But I would be worried about adolescents because that is when children are more likely to be pulling away from their parents and isolating themselves. But that doesn’t mean that when the children are younger there is less cause for concern.”
“Things happen,” Dr. Sinha told me in closing. “Families will face adversities. But if parents, teachers and other adults are helping to guide children by talking about the trauma and providing them with adaptive skills, then those children will be more inclined toward protection and resilience, as opposed to risk.”
Ah, and so there it is. And there's the lesson that we can draw from this. The article of course focuses on all children who face adversity. It is not solely directed towards children with Moebiius or other physical issues. But this is the lesson we can draw: that yes, the adversity children face as they grow up with Moebius Syndrome, or any trials and tribulations, can be tough. But there are ways to deal with it. Children need a loving, supportive home. Children need the best education they can receive. Children need a supportive environment in general. If they receive that, there is nothing they cannot handle.
So we in this community need to continue to build awareness and to help our younger members as best we can. Let's do it!
"You cannot climb the ladder of success dressed in the costume
of failure." -Zig Ziglar
Actually this goes for all children. If you, as a child, face stress and adversity as a child, it can affect you for your entire life. It can leave scars. But, as the article points out, all is not lost. Read on:
"The idea that the adversity we experience as children will go on to wound us forever riles me as being particularly unjust.
But that’s exactly what Dr. Rajita Sinha, director of the Yale Stress Center, explained a few weeks ago, when we spoke by phone about her research on stress, anxiety and addiction.
“The stress and motivational systems in the brain are really susceptible to learning and adaptation,” said Sinha. “As children we begin to adapt to our environment and learn things from it. If a child has a pervasive sense of adversity in his or her childhood for whatever reason, the brain responds to that kind of hardship by becoming more sensitized to stress. It gets hard-wired to react much more strongly than someone else who didn’t experience a lot of turmoil. So, to some extent, you will always have an elevated level of stress.”
“Fascinating.” I replied calmly, when what I was really thinking was: “That is so bloody unfair!”
I was nine when I fled the Iranian revolution and it would be another four years of going from country to country before I would see my immediate family again. Am I really doomed to lifelong vulnerability to stress, depression and possibly addiction over something I had no power to change? How many people have any control over their fractured childhoods? It is exactly when we are all at our most helpless and vulnerable.
“What kinds of adversities are we talking about?” I asked.
“Parents’ conflict, physical and emotional abuse, sexual abuse, witnessing violence, loss of a parent, dealing with a parent who has a mental illness or addictive disorder. Also, divorce. But that doesn’t mean that all divorce will be in that category. There’s always the issue of how it’s handled. But in general, divorce has been related to stress-related disorders and addictive behavior as well.”
“What about bullying?” I asked, recalling a recent Youtube video made by a young boy who was being taunted to within an inch of his life.
“I haven’t personally seen data,” said Sinha, “but that may be among the types of stressors that lead to risk.”
“If our stress system is so adaptive, then how come it doesn’t just adapt to these higher levels of stress? What happened to ‘that which does not kill us makes us stronger?’”
“That’s a valid question,” Sinha explained. “The stress pathway is developing during childhood. The stress system needs time to grow and become fully functional. The same goes for the reward system, the pleasure pathway which responds to high-fat, high-sugar foods. So you’re right, we are one of the most adaptive animals, but we also take a long time to develop and it is during that period of development when we want to protect our children. And unfortunately that is eroding, in terms of children who have to live with all kinds of adversity.”
She paused for a moment. And then: “Of course there are the protective factors.”
Aha!
“What protective factors?” I asked.
One of the most robust protective factors - and it comes from our ancestors - is that we are social beings. Number one is social and family support, she explained.
Second is education, which is a key component of brain development. The more children are challenged in protected environments, such as school, in ways like learning to make good decisions and choices and thinking abstractly, the more they are able to adapt to difficulties.
There is also personality-shaping optimism and emotional self-regulation. These are all the kinds of support that will have to come from the family and school environments.
And then there are other resilience factors. Is the child’s environment enriched? Does he or she have other kinds of stimulation that help the body and mind grow? Are there opportunities for physical development and exercise, which will contribute to neurogenesis (simply, the brain cells growing)?
“When are kids most vulnerable?” I asked.
“I’m not minimizing the effects of adversity at any age,” said Sinha. “But I would be worried about adolescents because that is when children are more likely to be pulling away from their parents and isolating themselves. But that doesn’t mean that when the children are younger there is less cause for concern.”
“Things happen,” Dr. Sinha told me in closing. “Families will face adversities. But if parents, teachers and other adults are helping to guide children by talking about the trauma and providing them with adaptive skills, then those children will be more inclined toward protection and resilience, as opposed to risk.”
Ah, and so there it is. And there's the lesson that we can draw from this. The article of course focuses on all children who face adversity. It is not solely directed towards children with Moebiius or other physical issues. But this is the lesson we can draw: that yes, the adversity children face as they grow up with Moebius Syndrome, or any trials and tribulations, can be tough. But there are ways to deal with it. Children need a loving, supportive home. Children need the best education they can receive. Children need a supportive environment in general. If they receive that, there is nothing they cannot handle.
So we in this community need to continue to build awareness and to help our younger members as best we can. Let's do it!
"You cannot climb the ladder of success dressed in the costume
of failure." -Zig Ziglar
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
THE I-JUST-THOUGHT-THIS-WAS-INTERESTING DEPT
The winter solstice is coming; the longest night of the year. And it can be kind of neat, in a way; even though we often are of two minds about it. Check out this article, which talks about our conflicted feelings about the solstice, the views of it throughout history, and...what one family does today to celebrate it:
"Maybe, deep inside, it's that we're all still afraid of the dark. Or drawn to it.
Either way, as long as we've been two-legged upright, and wise enough to wield a light-spitting wand (be it torch or battery-fueled flashlight), we've tiptoed toward the longest night, the winter solstice, with an odd mix of awe and wary eye over the shoulder.
Back in pagan Scandinavia, the Nordic merrymakers lit up Juul logs, slugged back mead, tended fires all night long, in hopes that their flaming fallen tree limbs would play backup to the barely working sun, or at least coax it through its feeble hours till solar reinforcements could get it up and blazing. Romans got downright riotous, decking halls with rosemary and laurel, burning lamps through the night, carrying on crazily, in hopes of warding off the spirits of darkness. And the Incas went so far as to try to tie the sun to a hitching post, a great stone column, to keep it from escaping altogether.
But solstice science is plain-angled geometry: The winter solstice comes at the very moment the North Pole is tilted farthest from the sun. The shadow cast is never longer. Nor, the night.
We say, bring on the night. Wrap yourself in the quietude it offers, a counterpoint to December's metastasizing madness. For starters, turn off all things electric, writes Heather Fontenot, co-editor of Rhythm of the Home, an online magazine that honors seasonality and "slow family living." Her winter solstice ritual is lovely.
Quiet and dark are invited in the day before the solstice (this year, the actual astronomical moment will occur at 11:30 p.m. CST Dec. 21). Candles are lit, a fire is kindled, winter lanterns line the walk.
It's a day to coddle the winter critters, filling orange halves with peanut butter and birdseed, stuffing pine cones with the same. An afternoon's walk is punctuated with a trail of birdseed sprinkled from winter-coat pockets. Supper by the fire is a simple soup and bread. Stories are read by firelight. Children are tucked in bed, while grown-ups keep vigil through the night.
Just before dawn, Fontenot wakes her children, who find sunshine bags beside their beds. The sacks, hand-sewn or not, are stuffed with oranges, nuts and golden-colored treasures. Everyone slips on a golden crown, and all tiptoe out into the dark for a predawn stroll, to watch the great orb rise once again."
Meanwhile, on a more somber note...
AN IMPORTANT REMINDER ABOUT BULLYING
The state of Michigan recently passed an anti-bullying law. As those of us with Moebius or other physical differences know, bullying is all too real, and the effects of it can be devastating. It's good Michigan passed this law. But for some, of course, it came too late:
"
The winter solstice is coming; the longest night of the year. And it can be kind of neat, in a way; even though we often are of two minds about it. Check out this article, which talks about our conflicted feelings about the solstice, the views of it throughout history, and...what one family does today to celebrate it:
"Maybe, deep inside, it's that we're all still afraid of the dark. Or drawn to it.
Either way, as long as we've been two-legged upright, and wise enough to wield a light-spitting wand (be it torch or battery-fueled flashlight), we've tiptoed toward the longest night, the winter solstice, with an odd mix of awe and wary eye over the shoulder.
Back in pagan Scandinavia, the Nordic merrymakers lit up Juul logs, slugged back mead, tended fires all night long, in hopes that their flaming fallen tree limbs would play backup to the barely working sun, or at least coax it through its feeble hours till solar reinforcements could get it up and blazing. Romans got downright riotous, decking halls with rosemary and laurel, burning lamps through the night, carrying on crazily, in hopes of warding off the spirits of darkness. And the Incas went so far as to try to tie the sun to a hitching post, a great stone column, to keep it from escaping altogether.
But solstice science is plain-angled geometry: The winter solstice comes at the very moment the North Pole is tilted farthest from the sun. The shadow cast is never longer. Nor, the night.
We say, bring on the night. Wrap yourself in the quietude it offers, a counterpoint to December's metastasizing madness. For starters, turn off all things electric, writes Heather Fontenot, co-editor of Rhythm of the Home, an online magazine that honors seasonality and "slow family living." Her winter solstice ritual is lovely.
Quiet and dark are invited in the day before the solstice (this year, the actual astronomical moment will occur at 11:30 p.m. CST Dec. 21). Candles are lit, a fire is kindled, winter lanterns line the walk.
It's a day to coddle the winter critters, filling orange halves with peanut butter and birdseed, stuffing pine cones with the same. An afternoon's walk is punctuated with a trail of birdseed sprinkled from winter-coat pockets. Supper by the fire is a simple soup and bread. Stories are read by firelight. Children are tucked in bed, while grown-ups keep vigil through the night.
Just before dawn, Fontenot wakes her children, who find sunshine bags beside their beds. The sacks, hand-sewn or not, are stuffed with oranges, nuts and golden-colored treasures. Everyone slips on a golden crown, and all tiptoe out into the dark for a predawn stroll, to watch the great orb rise once again."
Meanwhile, on a more somber note...
AN IMPORTANT REMINDER ABOUT BULLYING
The state of Michigan recently passed an anti-bullying law. As those of us with Moebius or other physical differences know, bullying is all too real, and the effects of it can be devastating. It's good Michigan passed this law. But for some, of course, it came too late:
"
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
SOME HEALTH TIPS
First of all--can positive thinking improve your health? Well, yes and no...it certainly doesn't hurt:
"...thinking is "real" medicine, as proven by the placebo effect. When given a sugar pill in place of a prescription drug, an average of 30% of subjects will show a positive response. What causes this response isn't a physical substance but the activity of the mind-body connection. Expectations are powerful. If you think you've been given a drug that will make you better, often that is enough to make you better.
This implies that a person should be able to trigger the placebo effect on himself. However, there is a psychological illusion involved. Take away the authority figure in a white coat to tell you that you are taking an effective drug, and suddenly the sugar pill is just a sugar pill. You can't fool yourself when you know what the placebo is.
This can't be the whole story, however. We can't deny that the mind-body connection is powerful. So is there a placebo effect that doesn't involve fooling the patient? Can you trigger your own inner defenses by the way you think?
Those who believe in positive thinking say yes. I believe the situation is more nuanced. On the plus side, the studies that debunk positive thinking deal with very sick patients struggling to recover from major diseases. They do not comment on how positive thinking might prevent disease or how it might affect someone in the very early stages of illness.
The real point isn't to rescue a dying patient but to maintain wellness.
Does positive thinking keep you well? Right now the camps are divided, because with the rise of genetics, many disorders clearly have triggers that originate in our genes.
In the public's mind, being told that cancer or diabetes is genetic acts as final authority. Luckily for the positive-thinking camp, this fatalistic attitude is mistaken. Genes are dynamic, not fixed; they respond to a person's environment, behavior and attitudes. Indeed, a now-famous study in Sweden showed that a tendency to diabetes may be strongly affected by the diet your great-grandfather ate. A whole new field is studying how much choice we have at the genetic level.
The findings are not complete by any means, yet there is no harm in assuming that your mind affects your genes, because there is abundant evidence to support this attitude.
Medicine hasn't proven that positivity is good prevention, but let's go a step further. To me, the problem with positive thinking is the thinking part. It takes effort to be positive all the time. The mind has to defend itself from negativity, and that is exhausting as well as unrealistic. You may succeed in calming the appearance you present to the world, but there's almost always a struggle hidden just below the surface; at the very least there is a good deal of denial. Being fanatically positive is still fanaticism.
The alternative to thinking is a calm mind that is at peace with itself. I believe that such a mind delivers the benefits that positive thinking cannot, and my view is supported by studies showing a decline in high blood pressure, stress levels and other disease states among long-term meditators.
Meditation is a spiritual practice, but it's also a mind-body practice. Here the results are not final, either, in part because almost the only research subjects tend to be Buddhist monks. We need expanded studies based on Western subjects; that much is clear.
The upshot is that medicine cannot be definitive on how mood affects wellness. But if I wanted to enhance a state of wellness before symptoms of illness appeared, there is much to be gained and no risks involved in trying to reach the best state of mind possible."
Meanwhile, what's the secret to avoiding getting sick--you know, colds, the flu, viruses--this holiday season? Read on:
"Ever wonder why you always seem to come down with a life-interrupting virus this time of year, while other women you know sail through the season sniffle, cough, and ache-free?
First of all--can positive thinking improve your health? Well, yes and no...it certainly doesn't hurt:
"...thinking is "real" medicine, as proven by the placebo effect. When given a sugar pill in place of a prescription drug, an average of 30% of subjects will show a positive response. What causes this response isn't a physical substance but the activity of the mind-body connection. Expectations are powerful. If you think you've been given a drug that will make you better, often that is enough to make you better.
This implies that a person should be able to trigger the placebo effect on himself. However, there is a psychological illusion involved. Take away the authority figure in a white coat to tell you that you are taking an effective drug, and suddenly the sugar pill is just a sugar pill. You can't fool yourself when you know what the placebo is.
This can't be the whole story, however. We can't deny that the mind-body connection is powerful. So is there a placebo effect that doesn't involve fooling the patient? Can you trigger your own inner defenses by the way you think?
Those who believe in positive thinking say yes. I believe the situation is more nuanced. On the plus side, the studies that debunk positive thinking deal with very sick patients struggling to recover from major diseases. They do not comment on how positive thinking might prevent disease or how it might affect someone in the very early stages of illness.
The real point isn't to rescue a dying patient but to maintain wellness.
Does positive thinking keep you well? Right now the camps are divided, because with the rise of genetics, many disorders clearly have triggers that originate in our genes.
In the public's mind, being told that cancer or diabetes is genetic acts as final authority. Luckily for the positive-thinking camp, this fatalistic attitude is mistaken. Genes are dynamic, not fixed; they respond to a person's environment, behavior and attitudes. Indeed, a now-famous study in Sweden showed that a tendency to diabetes may be strongly affected by the diet your great-grandfather ate. A whole new field is studying how much choice we have at the genetic level.
The findings are not complete by any means, yet there is no harm in assuming that your mind affects your genes, because there is abundant evidence to support this attitude.
Medicine hasn't proven that positivity is good prevention, but let's go a step further. To me, the problem with positive thinking is the thinking part. It takes effort to be positive all the time. The mind has to defend itself from negativity, and that is exhausting as well as unrealistic. You may succeed in calming the appearance you present to the world, but there's almost always a struggle hidden just below the surface; at the very least there is a good deal of denial. Being fanatically positive is still fanaticism.
The alternative to thinking is a calm mind that is at peace with itself. I believe that such a mind delivers the benefits that positive thinking cannot, and my view is supported by studies showing a decline in high blood pressure, stress levels and other disease states among long-term meditators.
Meditation is a spiritual practice, but it's also a mind-body practice. Here the results are not final, either, in part because almost the only research subjects tend to be Buddhist monks. We need expanded studies based on Western subjects; that much is clear.
The upshot is that medicine cannot be definitive on how mood affects wellness. But if I wanted to enhance a state of wellness before symptoms of illness appeared, there is much to be gained and no risks involved in trying to reach the best state of mind possible."
Meanwhile, what's the secret to avoiding getting sick--you know, colds, the flu, viruses--this holiday season? Read on:
"Ever wonder why you always seem to come down with a life-interrupting virus this time of year, while other women you know sail through the season sniffle, cough, and ache-free?
Monday, December 5, 2011
A FEMALE CEO HAS 10 DIFFERENT PLASTIC SURGERIES
Wow. Just wow. You can read the story here.
Now let's look at this story a bit. First of all, what has she had done? From the story:
"I started with liposuction on my thighs. And breast implants.
Then I had a nose job. Twice -- the first one was botched. I had my ears pinned back. My eyes done. A forehead lift. Filler in my lips. And then lip surgery to repair the damage done by the filler. I had a tummy tuck. A facelift. And I've had my teeth veneered."
And in many ways, our CEO friend defends what she did, and does not apologize for it. She writes:
"Remember that line from the song in A Chorus Line? "Keep the best of you, do the rest of you"? That's my motto. I have a pretty good butt, so I haven't done anything to that. And I like my hands and feet....
I had been in a sexless marriage for several years. After I divorced, I had a relationship with a man who said callous things about my small breasts and generous thighs. I was 24. And I thought, "No one will ever love me; I'm completely undesirable." It didn't matter that I was becoming very successful as an investment banker at a big Wall Street firm -- my self-esteem was zero. And it was the lack of self-esteem that sent me to the plastic surgeon's office....Not only did my romantic options explode, but my career instantly shifted into a higher gear. I was suddenly being courted by senior partners, included in meetings with the CEOs and CFOs of current and prospective clients. I thought, "Wait a minute -- I'm the same person I was before the surgeries." But now I looked like a bombshell in addition to being really good at my work, and it definitely opened up more opportunities. That's when I began to think of the surgeries as an asset and an investment."
Er...okay. But then...hold on...she goes on to contradict herself. I mean, if it's all about your body, it's all about how you look, it's all about looking a certain way, then she certainly shouldn't mind if others respond to her that way also; she shouldn't be bothered by the fact that others respond to her and are attracted to her because of the way she looks. But...guess what: she doesn't see it that way. When asked how all these surgeries have affected her self-confidence, she said:
"Well, it's interesting. Having a killer body gave me a kind of confidence I'd never had. But the way men reacted to me after my first surgery was the way I thought people would treat me if I had suddenly become famous. It was clear the reaction had nothing to do with who I really am. I'm not as vulnerable as I was before my surgeries, and I'm more careful about who I choose to be with. I choose people who love me for me"
Her interviewer then pointed this obvious contradiction--that what she was saying was "ironic", given how much effort she'd put into changing herself. The CEO didn't have much of a reply:
"At the end of the day, the only thing important to me is whether I have earned my own admiration. I refuse to be judged by anyone else."
And at the close of this piece, the interviewer added this:
""Anonymous" concedes that anything attractive about her came from a dermatologist, a plastic surgeon, or a dentist."
And is that really where you want your "attractiveness" to come from? Even better, is that really where we should first and foremost LOOK for attractiveness?
Those of us with Moebius Syndrome and/or other physical differences know one pretty important thing: that the best thing about being attractive on the _inside_ is that it lasts forever--age has no effect on it;; you don't have to depend on dentists or surgeons to get it, and it's free; and in the end, it's the kind of beauty and "attractiveness" that matters most.
"If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a
hundred days of sorrow." -Chinese Proverb
.
Wow. Just wow. You can read the story here.
Now let's look at this story a bit. First of all, what has she had done? From the story:
"I started with liposuction on my thighs. And breast implants.
Then I had a nose job. Twice -- the first one was botched. I had my ears pinned back. My eyes done. A forehead lift. Filler in my lips. And then lip surgery to repair the damage done by the filler. I had a tummy tuck. A facelift. And I've had my teeth veneered."
And in many ways, our CEO friend defends what she did, and does not apologize for it. She writes:
"Remember that line from the song in A Chorus Line? "Keep the best of you, do the rest of you"? That's my motto. I have a pretty good butt, so I haven't done anything to that. And I like my hands and feet....
I had been in a sexless marriage for several years. After I divorced, I had a relationship with a man who said callous things about my small breasts and generous thighs. I was 24. And I thought, "No one will ever love me; I'm completely undesirable." It didn't matter that I was becoming very successful as an investment banker at a big Wall Street firm -- my self-esteem was zero. And it was the lack of self-esteem that sent me to the plastic surgeon's office....Not only did my romantic options explode, but my career instantly shifted into a higher gear. I was suddenly being courted by senior partners, included in meetings with the CEOs and CFOs of current and prospective clients. I thought, "Wait a minute -- I'm the same person I was before the surgeries." But now I looked like a bombshell in addition to being really good at my work, and it definitely opened up more opportunities. That's when I began to think of the surgeries as an asset and an investment."
Er...okay. But then...hold on...she goes on to contradict herself. I mean, if it's all about your body, it's all about how you look, it's all about looking a certain way, then she certainly shouldn't mind if others respond to her that way also; she shouldn't be bothered by the fact that others respond to her and are attracted to her because of the way she looks. But...guess what: she doesn't see it that way. When asked how all these surgeries have affected her self-confidence, she said:
"Well, it's interesting. Having a killer body gave me a kind of confidence I'd never had. But the way men reacted to me after my first surgery was the way I thought people would treat me if I had suddenly become famous. It was clear the reaction had nothing to do with who I really am. I'm not as vulnerable as I was before my surgeries, and I'm more careful about who I choose to be with. I choose people who love me for me"
Her interviewer then pointed this obvious contradiction--that what she was saying was "ironic", given how much effort she'd put into changing herself. The CEO didn't have much of a reply:
"At the end of the day, the only thing important to me is whether I have earned my own admiration. I refuse to be judged by anyone else."
And at the close of this piece, the interviewer added this:
""Anonymous" concedes that anything attractive about her came from a dermatologist, a plastic surgeon, or a dentist."
And is that really where you want your "attractiveness" to come from? Even better, is that really where we should first and foremost LOOK for attractiveness?
Those of us with Moebius Syndrome and/or other physical differences know one pretty important thing: that the best thing about being attractive on the _inside_ is that it lasts forever--age has no effect on it;; you don't have to depend on dentists or surgeons to get it, and it's free; and in the end, it's the kind of beauty and "attractiveness" that matters most.
"If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a
hundred days of sorrow." -Chinese Proverb
.
Friday, December 2, 2011
FOR MOEBIUS MOMS AND DADS: A PIC WITH SANTA
Hey, all you parents out there of Moebius children--you of course would love to have your child get a picture on Santa's lap, right? But maybe you're worried about how it will go--can you get a good picture? Will your child be okay with it, or act out? Well, fear not--you have the same worries that every other parent has, who seeks to get their child into that glorious holiday picture that will last forever. And the good news is, there are things you can do to help make a better experience. Read on:
"Jill Berry, a mom in Woodbine, MD, recalls her toddler's first photo with Santa. "She was fine in line, then hysterical when I handed her over," Berry recalls. The resulting photo: "a red-faced toddler, a bewildered Santa, and me, on his lap, wearing a ski jacket and an old shirt." Oh, the memories.
It's a ritual of the season: taking your child to the mall so he can tell Santa Claus what he wants for Christmas, and scoring an adorable photo of him sitting on the jolly one's lap. But not all kids are game. Some take one look at the fat old guy with that big white beard...and freak out.
Think about it: This ginormous, hairy guy shows up once a year and you thrust your kid onto his lap, says child psychologist Jonathan Pochyly, Ph.D., of Children's Memorial Hospital in Chicago. The little guys have no concept that they're going to get something in return, and the bigger ones think he's been looking in their windows and compiling a "naughty" list. Of course, some kids do cooperate for the photo op, and yours may be one. Just in case, here's how to avoid a mall meltdown:
To avoid that stress this year, experienced Santa-snappers suggest you:
Do a dry run: Days before, give your child a glimpse of St. Nick from afar, says Amy Stone, owner of Jady Images in Miami, Florida. "When you come back for the actual photo, he'll be more familiar with what to expect."
Carry supplies: Snacks and toys are key. Hungry kids are likelier to act out.
Distract: "Put a piece of tape on your child's finger if he gets fidgety," says Marlboro, New Jersey, photog Jill Caren. "Sometimes that's distracting enough that he'll forget Santa's even there."
Present his requests: Tie up his wish list with a bow, and have him hand it over, suggests Heather Dillon, a Scottsdale, Arizona, photog. "It places the attention on Santa, not on him."
Think narrative gold: As the Santa at Holiday World, a theme park in Santa Claus, Indiana, says: "Sometimes those unposed moments make the best photos."
Be positive: Be careful not to paint a scary picture of Saint Nick. If you prep your child by saying "Don't be afraid, Santa's not going to hurt you," you've introduced a possibility that may never have occurred to him, notes Pochyly. Instead, talk about how fun it will be, and show your child a picture of a sibling or a cousin perched happily on Santa's lap.
Bring a lovey: Life's easier with a stuffed bear by your side—and you can always put some reindeer antlers on him."
And now, on to...
FRIDAY FOOTBALL PICKS!!
Last week---another winning week: record of 9-6.
COLLEGE FOOTBALL PICKS
Georgia vs LSU. MY PICK: TIGERS. Georgia has won 10 straight games, and has improved. But their run game has been weakened by injury, and any team that is too one-dimensional will get eaten up by that LSU defense.
Oklahoma at Oklahoma State. MY PICK: COWBOYS. OSU had a big, bad hiccup against Iowa State. But here's their chance at redemption. And they can score; meanwhile, I don't see evidence that either the Sooners' defense or offense is playing well enough right now to win.
Wisconsin vs Michigan State. MY PICK: SPARTANS. I know, everyone is picking Wisconsin. They certainly looked powerful at home against Penn State last week. But temember, this game is not in Madison. MSU showed earlier this season they can play with the Badgers. And I think Spartie has a mental edge for this game, given the disrespect they feel they're receiving given UW is being seen as such a favorite to win. That might give Michigan State the edge they need. I like MSU in (another) upset.
NFL PICKS
Tennessee at Buffalo. LINE: Bills by 1.5. MY PICK: BILLS. Buffalo lost narrowly last week. Tennessee won narrowly. I think this is the week the Bills get over the hump.
Kansas City at Chicago. LINE: Bears by 7. MY PICK: BEARS. Mainly because as I understand it, the not-yet-ready-to-be-playing-QB-in-the-NFL Tyler Palko will start yet again for Kansas City.
Oakland at Miami. LINE: Dolphins by 3. MY PICK: RAIDERS. Carson Palmer continues to improve at QB for Oakland. Michael Bush helps their run game. The Dolphins have certainly played better in the second half of the season, and have a lot of fight. But this is an important game for the Raiders, and I think they'll play like it.
Cincinnati at Pittsburgh. LINE: Steelers by 7. MY PICK: STEELERS. A big game at home with big playoff implications. Hard to go against the experienced Ben Roethlisberger and Steeler defense in this one. Andy Dalton and the Bengals have made great strides. But I don't think they're quite ready yet.
Baltimore at Cleveland. LINE: Ravens by 6.5. MY PICK: BROWNS. Not to win the game. But to keep this one close. And there's plenty of precedent this year for the Ravens playing down to the level of their competition; see their games at Tennessee, at Seattle, at home vs Arizona, etc.
NY Jets at Washington. LINE: Jets by 3. MY PICK: JETS. The Jets' defense will, I predict, create a couple of turnovers, and help them win this game by 7 to 10 points, somewhere in there.
Atlanta at Houston. LINE: Falcons by 3. MY PICK: FALCONS. Mainly, and very simply, because Houston is so thin at the QB position. T.J. Yates will have to start for the Texans; and so, even having the whole week of practice behind him, he still has to limit the Texans' offense, and this will open the door for a tough Falcons' D to dominate, and for Matt Ryan to get something done, with plenty of chances to be on the field.
Carolina at Tampa Bay. LINE: Bucs by 3. MY PICK: BUCS. Tampa Bay and Josh Freeman has been right in the last couple of games they've played, but have come up short. Still, they still seem to have fight left in them. Here's a chance for them to break through at home against a still-inexperienced Cam Newton-led Panther club.
Detroit at New Orleans. LINE: Saints by 9. MY PICK: SAINTS. New Orleans is a hot team, with a QB playing well; we saw that Monday night vs the Giants. The Lions have injuries, they're without Ndamokong Suh...all adds up to good news for the Saints.
Denver at Minnesota. LINE: Vikings by 1.5. MY PICK: BRONCOS. I jumped on board the Tebow train last week...and again, the Broncos won. I see no reason to get off; the Broncos' defense and run game can again keep this game close, and Tebow can find a way to pull it out in the end. Note especially--Tebow is faster than many think. That's why his scrambles at the end of the game are so effective.
St. Louis at San Francisco. LINE: 49ers by 13.5. MY PICK: 49ERS. It's a lot of points, but look for the Niner defense to pitch a near shutout in this game; that makes it a whole lot easier to cover a spread.
Dallas at Arizona. LINE: Cowboys by 4.5. MY PICK: CARDINALS. Yeesh. A hard game to pick. The Cowboys began the week as something like a 7 pt favorite. Now it's nearly down to 4. There's a reason for that; the Cardinals have covered in 3 of their past 4 games against the spread. Meanwhile, against teams with losing records, the Cowboys are 0-4 against the spread recently. So...go with the Cards...maybe not to win, but to keep it close.
Green Bay at NY Giants. LINE: Packers by 6.5. MY PICK: GIANTS. I just think that if: the Giants can get a running game going; if the Packers continue to play, well, OK, but not great (as has been the case in the past few weeks); if the Giants play as the more desperate team--as they should; all of that could at least allow the Giants to keep the game close. As I think they will.
Indianapolis at New England. LINE: Patriots by 20. MY PICK: PATRIOTS. 20 is a lot of points to cover. But the beaten-down Colts...now with Dan Orlovsky starting at QB--would seem to have no chance.
San Diego at Jacksonville. LINE: Chargers by 3. MY PICK: CHARGERS. But why pick the electricity-less Chargers, you might well ask? Well...they've still got more talent than do the Jags. And did you see Blaine Gabbert at QB last week? Honestly, he was pretty awful. Don't be surprised to see Luke McCown this week for the Jags; which won't help much.
"Keep your fears to yourself, but share your inspiration with
others." - Robert Louis Stevenson
Hey, all you parents out there of Moebius children--you of course would love to have your child get a picture on Santa's lap, right? But maybe you're worried about how it will go--can you get a good picture? Will your child be okay with it, or act out? Well, fear not--you have the same worries that every other parent has, who seeks to get their child into that glorious holiday picture that will last forever. And the good news is, there are things you can do to help make a better experience. Read on:
"Jill Berry, a mom in Woodbine, MD, recalls her toddler's first photo with Santa. "She was fine in line, then hysterical when I handed her over," Berry recalls. The resulting photo: "a red-faced toddler, a bewildered Santa, and me, on his lap, wearing a ski jacket and an old shirt." Oh, the memories.
It's a ritual of the season: taking your child to the mall so he can tell Santa Claus what he wants for Christmas, and scoring an adorable photo of him sitting on the jolly one's lap. But not all kids are game. Some take one look at the fat old guy with that big white beard...and freak out.
Think about it: This ginormous, hairy guy shows up once a year and you thrust your kid onto his lap, says child psychologist Jonathan Pochyly, Ph.D., of Children's Memorial Hospital in Chicago. The little guys have no concept that they're going to get something in return, and the bigger ones think he's been looking in their windows and compiling a "naughty" list. Of course, some kids do cooperate for the photo op, and yours may be one. Just in case, here's how to avoid a mall meltdown:
To avoid that stress this year, experienced Santa-snappers suggest you:
Do a dry run: Days before, give your child a glimpse of St. Nick from afar, says Amy Stone, owner of Jady Images in Miami, Florida. "When you come back for the actual photo, he'll be more familiar with what to expect."
Carry supplies: Snacks and toys are key. Hungry kids are likelier to act out.
Distract: "Put a piece of tape on your child's finger if he gets fidgety," says Marlboro, New Jersey, photog Jill Caren. "Sometimes that's distracting enough that he'll forget Santa's even there."
Present his requests: Tie up his wish list with a bow, and have him hand it over, suggests Heather Dillon, a Scottsdale, Arizona, photog. "It places the attention on Santa, not on him."
Think narrative gold: As the Santa at Holiday World, a theme park in Santa Claus, Indiana, says: "Sometimes those unposed moments make the best photos."
Be positive: Be careful not to paint a scary picture of Saint Nick. If you prep your child by saying "Don't be afraid, Santa's not going to hurt you," you've introduced a possibility that may never have occurred to him, notes Pochyly. Instead, talk about how fun it will be, and show your child a picture of a sibling or a cousin perched happily on Santa's lap.
Bring a lovey: Life's easier with a stuffed bear by your side—and you can always put some reindeer antlers on him."
And now, on to...
FRIDAY FOOTBALL PICKS!!
Last week---another winning week: record of 9-6.
COLLEGE FOOTBALL PICKS
Georgia vs LSU. MY PICK: TIGERS. Georgia has won 10 straight games, and has improved. But their run game has been weakened by injury, and any team that is too one-dimensional will get eaten up by that LSU defense.
Oklahoma at Oklahoma State. MY PICK: COWBOYS. OSU had a big, bad hiccup against Iowa State. But here's their chance at redemption. And they can score; meanwhile, I don't see evidence that either the Sooners' defense or offense is playing well enough right now to win.
Wisconsin vs Michigan State. MY PICK: SPARTANS. I know, everyone is picking Wisconsin. They certainly looked powerful at home against Penn State last week. But temember, this game is not in Madison. MSU showed earlier this season they can play with the Badgers. And I think Spartie has a mental edge for this game, given the disrespect they feel they're receiving given UW is being seen as such a favorite to win. That might give Michigan State the edge they need. I like MSU in (another) upset.
NFL PICKS
Tennessee at Buffalo. LINE: Bills by 1.5. MY PICK: BILLS. Buffalo lost narrowly last week. Tennessee won narrowly. I think this is the week the Bills get over the hump.
Kansas City at Chicago. LINE: Bears by 7. MY PICK: BEARS. Mainly because as I understand it, the not-yet-ready-to-be-playing-QB-in-the-NFL Tyler Palko will start yet again for Kansas City.
Oakland at Miami. LINE: Dolphins by 3. MY PICK: RAIDERS. Carson Palmer continues to improve at QB for Oakland. Michael Bush helps their run game. The Dolphins have certainly played better in the second half of the season, and have a lot of fight. But this is an important game for the Raiders, and I think they'll play like it.
Cincinnati at Pittsburgh. LINE: Steelers by 7. MY PICK: STEELERS. A big game at home with big playoff implications. Hard to go against the experienced Ben Roethlisberger and Steeler defense in this one. Andy Dalton and the Bengals have made great strides. But I don't think they're quite ready yet.
Baltimore at Cleveland. LINE: Ravens by 6.5. MY PICK: BROWNS. Not to win the game. But to keep this one close. And there's plenty of precedent this year for the Ravens playing down to the level of their competition; see their games at Tennessee, at Seattle, at home vs Arizona, etc.
NY Jets at Washington. LINE: Jets by 3. MY PICK: JETS. The Jets' defense will, I predict, create a couple of turnovers, and help them win this game by 7 to 10 points, somewhere in there.
Atlanta at Houston. LINE: Falcons by 3. MY PICK: FALCONS. Mainly, and very simply, because Houston is so thin at the QB position. T.J. Yates will have to start for the Texans; and so, even having the whole week of practice behind him, he still has to limit the Texans' offense, and this will open the door for a tough Falcons' D to dominate, and for Matt Ryan to get something done, with plenty of chances to be on the field.
Carolina at Tampa Bay. LINE: Bucs by 3. MY PICK: BUCS. Tampa Bay and Josh Freeman has been right in the last couple of games they've played, but have come up short. Still, they still seem to have fight left in them. Here's a chance for them to break through at home against a still-inexperienced Cam Newton-led Panther club.
Detroit at New Orleans. LINE: Saints by 9. MY PICK: SAINTS. New Orleans is a hot team, with a QB playing well; we saw that Monday night vs the Giants. The Lions have injuries, they're without Ndamokong Suh...all adds up to good news for the Saints.
Denver at Minnesota. LINE: Vikings by 1.5. MY PICK: BRONCOS. I jumped on board the Tebow train last week...and again, the Broncos won. I see no reason to get off; the Broncos' defense and run game can again keep this game close, and Tebow can find a way to pull it out in the end. Note especially--Tebow is faster than many think. That's why his scrambles at the end of the game are so effective.
St. Louis at San Francisco. LINE: 49ers by 13.5. MY PICK: 49ERS. It's a lot of points, but look for the Niner defense to pitch a near shutout in this game; that makes it a whole lot easier to cover a spread.
Dallas at Arizona. LINE: Cowboys by 4.5. MY PICK: CARDINALS. Yeesh. A hard game to pick. The Cowboys began the week as something like a 7 pt favorite. Now it's nearly down to 4. There's a reason for that; the Cardinals have covered in 3 of their past 4 games against the spread. Meanwhile, against teams with losing records, the Cowboys are 0-4 against the spread recently. So...go with the Cards...maybe not to win, but to keep it close.
Green Bay at NY Giants. LINE: Packers by 6.5. MY PICK: GIANTS. I just think that if: the Giants can get a running game going; if the Packers continue to play, well, OK, but not great (as has been the case in the past few weeks); if the Giants play as the more desperate team--as they should; all of that could at least allow the Giants to keep the game close. As I think they will.
Indianapolis at New England. LINE: Patriots by 20. MY PICK: PATRIOTS. 20 is a lot of points to cover. But the beaten-down Colts...now with Dan Orlovsky starting at QB--would seem to have no chance.
San Diego at Jacksonville. LINE: Chargers by 3. MY PICK: CHARGERS. But why pick the electricity-less Chargers, you might well ask? Well...they've still got more talent than do the Jags. And did you see Blaine Gabbert at QB last week? Honestly, he was pretty awful. Don't be surprised to see Luke McCown this week for the Jags; which won't help much.
"Keep your fears to yourself, but share your inspiration with
others." - Robert Louis Stevenson
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