MOEBIUS MEMORY
So I remember that, in junior high school, there was this one guy who used to pick on me.  He made fun of me in general (especially of my speech), pushed me, shoved me...anything to get my goat.  And I guess what I regret is that I never really stood up to him in the way I could have; maybe, for example, I needed to challenge him to a fight, and, had he wanted to fight...actually done it.

I suppose I might have gotten in trouble for fighting, blah blah blah.  But sometimes, don't you have to stand up for yourself?  Might it not have gained me some respect, from others, at least...and maybe even from him?  I dunno for sure.  But I don't think bullies...and that's what the middle-schoolish vicious teasers, pushers, and shovers are, bullies--are used to, or like, having others stand up to them. 

At the same time,  every situation and every person is different, so risking a big confrontation isn't for everyone, nor is it suited to every situation.  But I do believe we have to be willing to stand up for ourselves.  Just some memories and thoughts that have floated through my mind occasionally...

"From interactions with children I began to understand that my appearance can stir four levels of fear in people who first encounter me...One is at the level of protocol, of social niceties.  How should I behave with this person who looks so different?  Am I going to do something wrong or offensive?...Second is the fear of contagion, that there is a disease to be transmitted....Third, there is a fear of violence, a fear engendered by all of the movies and fairy tales portraying the facially disfigured carrying chainsaws as casually as normal people have cell phones.  This is the source of children fearing us as monsters....The fourth fear, the root fear, is the fear inside, that they are disfigured in some way externally or internally, in some way unacceptable and unloveable to family, village, species, perhaps even to God....I trigger that fear, and at a spiritual level it's also a fear of an uncaring God who is capable of creating people who are so deeply flawed that they are not in God's image and hence irredeemable.  And that's what I symbolize...And that is what pity covers up."---David Roche, THE CHURCH OF 80% SINCERITY.