TIPS FOR JOB SEEKERS
So maybe you're thinking that in 2012, you'll be seeking a job...or looking to change jobs. So here's a good question to consider: if you see a potential job, do you have enough experience to qualify for it? Here's some advice:
"Just because you were a senior manager at one company doesn't mean that your next job won't be a midlevel role. Often, appropriate job titles can get confusing during a job search. "There's no standardization as to how the titles are done," says Jim Beqaj, founder of Beqaj International, an executive search firm and consultancy.
Not sure which job title you should target when looking for a job? Here's a rough guide to deciphering how to categorize your skills and what to keep in mind:
Entry level
This category is misleading, because it's not just for those new to the workforce. Plenty of people who have been in the workforce for five years or fewer can fall under the entry-level umbrella.
When going after an entry-level job, try to let your personality and enthusiasm shine. "Entry level is all about personality fit ... basic skills of good communication, eye contact and a sign of eagerness and genuineness are key in securing entry-level jobs," Beqaj says.
Midlevel
For job seekers who are no longer newbies in the market, a midlevel position has entirely different demands. "A midlevel manager typically directs people, departments, functions or projects as well as budgets," says résumé writer Deborah Schuster, founder of Lettersmith Résumé Service. "For most companies, this would require a minimum of a bachelor's degree and five to 15 years of experience."
Additionally, conveying to hiring managers how you would fit in with the company hierarchy is key. "Midlevel requires experience in previous jobs, so making sure that you have the experience and skills sets required is paramount. Your ability to articulate your experiences and how they positively impacted your previous employer are critical," Beqaj says.
Senior-level and executive
Just because you were a senior-level employee at one company doesn't mean you should be targeting only senior roles for your next gig. "There are many definitions for the word 'executive' and 'experienced,'" Schuster says.
Corporate structures vary and larger companies have few senior-level slots. Before applying, use a site like LinkedIn to see where an employee with duties similar to your desired role fits in. "It helps if you know the size of the company and have a description of the qualifications they seek. And be sure your résumé and cover letter is tailored to show that you have those qualifications," Schuster says.
Match skills not level
Just because you fall into a certain experience bucket doesn't mean you can't apply for a position that requires your skills but is on a lower level. Most companies are happy to consider a more junior person for a job, especially if that means they can get away with paying a lower salary.
Before you apply, consider whether "your natural instincts [are] making you feel comfortable or uneasy; trust your senses," Beqaj says. Many larger companies may also start employees at a lower level. In other words, your senior-level role at a technology startup may result in a midlevel position with a Fortune 500 firm.
Understand what or whom you're managing
Another good test for figuring out which level to target is to gauge your current job responsibility. Whether you're getting the information from a recruiter or through your own personal connections, get a sense of whether you would be managing entry-level employees, other managers, a department, a group of businesses, the entire enterprise or just your own time, says George Bradt, managing director of PrimeGenesis, a company that helps executives become established in their new jobs.
The higher the level, the more senior the job title should be for your next position. "What matters when reviewing job descriptions for entry level, midlevel, senior and experienced positions is what people are managing," Bradt says."
"I've got a great ambition to die of exhaustion rather than
boredom." -Angus Grossart
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
BRAIN TALK DEPT
Once exercise, there is more evidence that exercise benefits the brain:
"To learn more about how exercise affects the brain, scientists in Ireland recently asked a group of sedentary male college students to take part in a memory test followed by strenuous exercise.
First, the young men watched a rapid-fire lineup of photos with the faces and names of strangers. After a break, they tried to recall the names they had just seen as the photos again zipped across a computer screen.
Afterward, half of the students rode a stationary bicycle, at an increasingly strenuous pace, until they were exhausted. The others sat quietly for 30 minutes. Then both groups took the brain-teaser test again.
Notably, the exercised volunteers performed significantly better on the memory test than they had on their first try, while the volunteers who had rested did not improve.
Meanwhile, blood samples taken throughout the experiment offered a biological explanation for the boost in memory among the exercisers. Immediately after the strenuous activity, the cyclists had significantly higher levels of a protein known as brain-derived neurotrophic factor, or BDNF, which is known to promote the health of nerve cells. The men who had sat quietly showed no comparable change in BDNF levels.
For some time, scientists have believed that BDNF helps explain why mental functioning appears to improve with exercise. However, they haven’t fully understood which parts of the brain are affected or how those effects influence thinking. The Irish study suggests that the increases in BDNF prompted by exercise may play a particular role in improving memory and recall."
There's more--read the whole thing.
MOEBIUS SYNDROME IN THE NEWS
Meanwhile, some of you may have seen this story already; but I wanted to note it here as well. It seems that a young hero with Moebius Syndrome in the UK, Riley Mills, got to meet Father Chrismas recently. He deserved it:
"CHUGGING along the Avon Valley Railway is always a lovely journey, but the trip was even more magical when a very important guest with a long white beard, rosy cheeks and sack of presents boarded the train.
Santa had made an early trip down from his home in Lapland to give presents to some very special Evening Post readers who have gone through a difficult year and deserved a treat.
There were wide eyes and even wider smiles when Father Christmas welcomed them on the platform at Bitton, and as the train made its way to Oldland Common there were cries of, “where’s Santa, where’s Santa?”...
When Father Christmas stopped by Riley Mills, four, and his brother Lenny, two, he gave them a special key to rub so that he would be sure to stop at their house for Christmas.
The family, with mum Melanie, 27, and dad Ryan, 28, from St George, were invited on the train because Riley suffers from moebius syndrome, which causes problems with his eyes. The little lad, who has just started school, has had three operations this year alone, and has to travel up to Manchester every three months for physiotherapy. Dad Ryan said: “It is a big year for him so we thought it would be a nice treat for him. Lenny has hearing problems as well, so it is nice for us to come out as a family.”
Father Christmas gave Riley a wooden building block set and Lenny a cow teddy. Riley said: “It was fun to meet Father Christmas. I touched his magic key so that he can come to our house on Christmas Eve.”
As Santa handed out the presents there were whoops of delight as youngsters unwrapped juggling balls, toy cars, teddies and games."
"We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves
strong. The amount of work is the same." -Carlos Castaneda
Once exercise, there is more evidence that exercise benefits the brain:
"To learn more about how exercise affects the brain, scientists in Ireland recently asked a group of sedentary male college students to take part in a memory test followed by strenuous exercise.
First, the young men watched a rapid-fire lineup of photos with the faces and names of strangers. After a break, they tried to recall the names they had just seen as the photos again zipped across a computer screen.
Afterward, half of the students rode a stationary bicycle, at an increasingly strenuous pace, until they were exhausted. The others sat quietly for 30 minutes. Then both groups took the brain-teaser test again.
Notably, the exercised volunteers performed significantly better on the memory test than they had on their first try, while the volunteers who had rested did not improve.
Meanwhile, blood samples taken throughout the experiment offered a biological explanation for the boost in memory among the exercisers. Immediately after the strenuous activity, the cyclists had significantly higher levels of a protein known as brain-derived neurotrophic factor, or BDNF, which is known to promote the health of nerve cells. The men who had sat quietly showed no comparable change in BDNF levels.
For some time, scientists have believed that BDNF helps explain why mental functioning appears to improve with exercise. However, they haven’t fully understood which parts of the brain are affected or how those effects influence thinking. The Irish study suggests that the increases in BDNF prompted by exercise may play a particular role in improving memory and recall."
There's more--read the whole thing.
MOEBIUS SYNDROME IN THE NEWS
Meanwhile, some of you may have seen this story already; but I wanted to note it here as well. It seems that a young hero with Moebius Syndrome in the UK, Riley Mills, got to meet Father Chrismas recently. He deserved it:
"CHUGGING along the Avon Valley Railway is always a lovely journey, but the trip was even more magical when a very important guest with a long white beard, rosy cheeks and sack of presents boarded the train.
Santa had made an early trip down from his home in Lapland to give presents to some very special Evening Post readers who have gone through a difficult year and deserved a treat.
There were wide eyes and even wider smiles when Father Christmas welcomed them on the platform at Bitton, and as the train made its way to Oldland Common there were cries of, “where’s Santa, where’s Santa?”...
When Father Christmas stopped by Riley Mills, four, and his brother Lenny, two, he gave them a special key to rub so that he would be sure to stop at their house for Christmas.
The family, with mum Melanie, 27, and dad Ryan, 28, from St George, were invited on the train because Riley suffers from moebius syndrome, which causes problems with his eyes. The little lad, who has just started school, has had three operations this year alone, and has to travel up to Manchester every three months for physiotherapy. Dad Ryan said: “It is a big year for him so we thought it would be a nice treat for him. Lenny has hearing problems as well, so it is nice for us to come out as a family.”
Father Christmas gave Riley a wooden building block set and Lenny a cow teddy. Riley said: “It was fun to meet Father Christmas. I touched his magic key so that he can come to our house on Christmas Eve.”
As Santa handed out the presents there were whoops of delight as youngsters unwrapped juggling balls, toy cars, teddies and games."
"We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves
strong. The amount of work is the same." -Carlos Castaneda
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
FOR MOEBIUS MOMS AND DADS: ON BULLYING
The latest response to bullying? One idea is: give your child the ability to fight back against it. Not everything in here may be suitable for your child. Use your best judgment. But read on--this is good food for thought:
"If you found out that bullies were hassling your kid, what would you do? Help him rehearse comeback lines? Or show him how to open a can of whoop-ass, and knock those jerks into next week?
The latest response to bullying? One idea is: give your child the ability to fight back against it. Not everything in here may be suitable for your child. Use your best judgment. But read on--this is good food for thought:
"If you found out that bullies were hassling your kid, what would you do? Help him rehearse comeback lines? Or show him how to open a can of whoop-ass, and knock those jerks into next week?
Bully-prevention efforts in recent years have focused on identifying the tormenters and enacting zero-tolerance policies. But the new trend in anti-bullying efforts is reaching out to the bullies’ targets, the victims – and teaching them to stand up for themselves.
Scott Thompson, an openly gay Canadian actor and comic best known for his work in “Kids in the Hall,” told PrideSource.com in a recent interview that the bullying he endured as a kid “scarred him terribly.”His answer: fight back. “Here's the thing: The world is not kind to us; it never really will be,” Thompson told the interviewer. “But you have to fight back … Fathers should start teaching the boys how to punch. He does that to you, here’s what you do: You f****** punch him in the face,” Thompson told the interviewer.
Thompson’s advice may be extreme, but bully-proofing classes across the country are taking a more aggressive approach to teaching kids how to avoid being victims.
The Gracie Jiu-Jitsu Academy, based in Torrance, Calif., has a Bully-Proof Summer Camp for ages 5 through 14. And Miller’s Martial Arts Academy, in Kirkland, Wash., offers bully-prevention classes.
But hold up: Your youngster won’t learn how to kick the stuffing out of the Mean Kid in these 8-week sessions. At least, not until the last week. Miller believes kids should start with words.
“Learning to set a verbal boundary and getting the kids to set a clear demarcation line is the first line of protection – not whacking someone with a kick or a punch,” said Korbett Miller, owner of the martial arts academy. “I’m giving them the courage – and the permission – to be loud with someone who’s physically threatening them.”
And if that doesn’t work, Miller teaches some “real basic front kicks,” and how to “stun and run,” versus a knockdown, drag-out fight.
“I don’t want to teach kids to be violent – the world is a violent enough place,” he said. “I’m giving the kids pat things they can do, little routines they can practice with their families.”
Of course, it’s possible to take the whole “focus on the victim” approach too far. The London Standard reported recently that students in Essex County were told by teachers to “act less gay” when bullied.
Teens picked on for their appearance, according to the “Anti-Bullying Work” report, were counseled to wear their hair differently. The report was based on evidence compiled from 250 students and teachers in the county, which is less than an hour outside of London.
“That’s just nuts. That’s just sad,” said Michele Borba, an educational psychologist and parenting expert. Borba, who has spoken to countless educators, students and parents about bullying, stressed that children shouldn’t have to change their entire demeanor to avoid persecution.
What kids can do, she said, is learn some basic assertiveness skills that will serve them well with bullies – and in life. In her blog, Borba suggests that parents role-play with their kids, teaching them good comebacks, strong, confident body language and how to stay calm in the face of verbal abuse. (Bullies just want a reaction, she pointed out.)
And if that’s not enough, there’s always a good front kick."
"It is far better to know our own weaknesses and failings
than to point out those of another." -Jawaharlal Nehru
than to point out those of another." -Jawaharlal Nehru
Monday, November 28, 2011
MOEBIUS MUSINGS: A THEORY
Okay, so today let's start out with this---a Moebius musing--or rather, a theory--as to why holidays like Thanksgiving are important to us Moebius folks, and to folks like us.
And I'm convinced they are. If you follow Facebook or other social media, you saw that plenty of those in the Moebius community were posting about how much they were looking forward to the holiday. Well, you might say, but everybody was looking forward to it, whether they had Moebius or not. Yes, yes, of course; but I just think the intensity of feeling seemed to me to be stronger in our community. And I bet you I know why.
My theory is: to us, Thanksgiving or Christmas means being around family and friends again. It means being home, perhaps, or at least around familiar surroundings. It means being around people you're used to. Now of course, that can bring problems of its own. Sometimes families don't get along that well; we all know that. Sometimes family get-togethers don't live up to the image portrayed in holiday movies, TV commercials, and Hallmark Christmas cards. But still--if you have Moebius Syndrome or anything like it, what can be the most scary for you? Simple: venturing out into the unknown. Having to be with people who don't know you and don't know how to react to you. And what do the holidays bring? They bring family time, friends time, being around the familiar and the comfortable. Yes, sometimes the family dynamics aren't perfect. But still, even that is familiar and not always that uncomfortable--at least you can know what to expect. And often times, just being back "home for the holidays" just feels good, no matter what. So look forward to the holiday season, all you people with Moebius Syndrome. Look forward to your chance to be around your loved ones, around the familiar, comfortable, non-scary non-unknowns. :+)
Just don't be afraid to take on the world again once the holidays are over!
Meanwhile, having Moebius or anything like it makes us always interested in the workings of our brain. Which brings us to...
SHAKESPEARE AND THE MIND/BODY CONNECTION
An article today argues that the Great Bard knew something about how your psychological attitude can affect how your body feels and reacts:
"You probably never thought about reading the works of William Shakespeare for medical advice, but it turns out that the Bard had a keen understanding of the mind-body connection, a study in the journal Medical Humanities reports.
Okay, so today let's start out with this---a Moebius musing--or rather, a theory--as to why holidays like Thanksgiving are important to us Moebius folks, and to folks like us.
And I'm convinced they are. If you follow Facebook or other social media, you saw that plenty of those in the Moebius community were posting about how much they were looking forward to the holiday. Well, you might say, but everybody was looking forward to it, whether they had Moebius or not. Yes, yes, of course; but I just think the intensity of feeling seemed to me to be stronger in our community. And I bet you I know why.
My theory is: to us, Thanksgiving or Christmas means being around family and friends again. It means being home, perhaps, or at least around familiar surroundings. It means being around people you're used to. Now of course, that can bring problems of its own. Sometimes families don't get along that well; we all know that. Sometimes family get-togethers don't live up to the image portrayed in holiday movies, TV commercials, and Hallmark Christmas cards. But still--if you have Moebius Syndrome or anything like it, what can be the most scary for you? Simple: venturing out into the unknown. Having to be with people who don't know you and don't know how to react to you. And what do the holidays bring? They bring family time, friends time, being around the familiar and the comfortable. Yes, sometimes the family dynamics aren't perfect. But still, even that is familiar and not always that uncomfortable--at least you can know what to expect. And often times, just being back "home for the holidays" just feels good, no matter what. So look forward to the holiday season, all you people with Moebius Syndrome. Look forward to your chance to be around your loved ones, around the familiar, comfortable, non-scary non-unknowns. :+)
Just don't be afraid to take on the world again once the holidays are over!
Meanwhile, having Moebius or anything like it makes us always interested in the workings of our brain. Which brings us to...
SHAKESPEARE AND THE MIND/BODY CONNECTION
An article today argues that the Great Bard knew something about how your psychological attitude can affect how your body feels and reacts:
"You probably never thought about reading the works of William Shakespeare for medical advice, but it turns out that the Bard had a keen understanding of the mind-body connection, a study in the journal Medical Humanities reports.
Dr. Kenneth Heaton of the department of medicine at the University of Bristol argues that Shakespeare, more than his contemporaries, depicts the relationship between psychological distress and bodily symptoms.
The findings "should encourage doctors to remember that physical symptoms can have psychological causes," Heaton wrote in the study.
Heaton examined the 42 major works of Shakespeare and 46 works by contemporaries, matched according to genre. He found that symptoms that have roots in the psyche, including vertigo, breathlessness, fatigue, faint feelings and cold feelings are all more common in Shakespeare's works.
A famous example of the psychological causes of fatigue is in "Hamlet," where Hamlet says "O God, O God / How weary, stale, flat and unprofitable / Seem to me all the uses of this world!" and ends with "But break, my heart, for I must hold my tongue." Hamlet's mother and step-father have asked him to remain in Denmark, and Hamlet, disgusted by their marriage that happened so soon after his biological father's death, contemplates suicide in this speech in Act I Scene II. Heaton also cites passages from "The Merchant of Venice," including Antonio's opening confession o his friends: "In sooth, I know not why I am so sad. / It wearies me, you say it wearies you."
Shakespeare was also convinced that vertigo, marked by unsteadiness or a feeling of loss of control, could be brought on by extreme emotion. These days, that connection isn't commonly seen, but vertigo can be a stress-related symptom. Writers have used it as a metaphor for existential distress, but Shakespeare knew about its bodily effects: "He that is giddy thinks the world turns round," a widow in "Taming of the Shrew" says.
Unlike any of the Bard's contemporaries that Heaton studied, Shakespeare depicted characters losing hearing at times of high emotion. In "King Lear," Gloucester, who is blind and believes there is a cliff edge below him to jump off of, admits to his son Edgar that he does not hear the sea. "Why then, your other senses grow imperfect by your eyes' anguish," Edgar says. It could be all metaphorical, since psychosomatic deafness is not seen in the 21st century, but Heaton posits that perhaps in Shakespeare's time stress did cause symptoms related to ears.
Why so much attention to the mind-body connection? Maybe he wanted to make his characters seem more human or more relatable to the audience, or perhaps he unconsciously emphasized these symptoms because of his own body-consciousness. The examples Heaton could have all been written purely as metaphors, but he argues that the specificity of bodily symptoms and psychological feelings should not be dismissed as such.
"Many doctors are reluctant to attribute physical symptoms to emotional disturbance, and this results in delayed diagnosis, overinvestigation and inappropriate treatment," Heaton writes. "They could learn to be better doctors by studying Shakespeare."
The findings "should encourage doctors to remember that physical symptoms can have psychological causes," Heaton wrote in the study.
Heaton examined the 42 major works of Shakespeare and 46 works by contemporaries, matched according to genre. He found that symptoms that have roots in the psyche, including vertigo, breathlessness, fatigue, faint feelings and cold feelings are all more common in Shakespeare's works.
A famous example of the psychological causes of fatigue is in "Hamlet," where Hamlet says "O God, O God / How weary, stale, flat and unprofitable / Seem to me all the uses of this world!" and ends with "But break, my heart, for I must hold my tongue." Hamlet's mother and step-father have asked him to remain in Denmark, and Hamlet, disgusted by their marriage that happened so soon after his biological father's death, contemplates suicide in this speech in Act I Scene II. Heaton also cites passages from "The Merchant of Venice," including Antonio's opening confession o his friends: "In sooth, I know not why I am so sad. / It wearies me, you say it wearies you."
Shakespeare was also convinced that vertigo, marked by unsteadiness or a feeling of loss of control, could be brought on by extreme emotion. These days, that connection isn't commonly seen, but vertigo can be a stress-related symptom. Writers have used it as a metaphor for existential distress, but Shakespeare knew about its bodily effects: "He that is giddy thinks the world turns round," a widow in "Taming of the Shrew" says.
Unlike any of the Bard's contemporaries that Heaton studied, Shakespeare depicted characters losing hearing at times of high emotion. In "King Lear," Gloucester, who is blind and believes there is a cliff edge below him to jump off of, admits to his son Edgar that he does not hear the sea. "Why then, your other senses grow imperfect by your eyes' anguish," Edgar says. It could be all metaphorical, since psychosomatic deafness is not seen in the 21st century, but Heaton posits that perhaps in Shakespeare's time stress did cause symptoms related to ears.
Why so much attention to the mind-body connection? Maybe he wanted to make his characters seem more human or more relatable to the audience, or perhaps he unconsciously emphasized these symptoms because of his own body-consciousness. The examples Heaton could have all been written purely as metaphors, but he argues that the specificity of bodily symptoms and psychological feelings should not be dismissed as such.
"Many doctors are reluctant to attribute physical symptoms to emotional disturbance, and this results in delayed diagnosis, overinvestigation and inappropriate treatment," Heaton writes. "They could learn to be better doctors by studying Shakespeare."
Saturday, November 26, 2011
THANKSGIVING WEEKEND FOOTBALL PICKS!
Gotta get these in before the weekend comes to an end...
Last week I went 11-4! Not bad.
So far this week I'm only 1-2; I correctly had Green Bay covering
against the Lions...but I thought Dallas would beat the spread against the
Dolphins, and San Francisco would cover at Baltimore. No dice. Let's see
how I do the rest of the weekend:No
COLLEGE PICKS
Alabama at Auburn. LINE: Tide by 21. MY PICK: WAR EAGLE. Alabama will win this game. But 21 points is too much in a rivalry game like this, on the road.
Notre Dame at Stanford. LINE: Cardinal by 7. MY PICK: FIGHTING IRISH. Oregon (and others) have exposed that Stanford defense. I expect Andrew Luck to pull this game out late for Stanford...but look for the Irish to at least cover here, if not win outright.
NFL PICKS
Minnesota at Atlanta. LINE: Falcons by 9.5. MY PICK: FALCONS. No Adrian Peterson for the Vikings means relatively easy pickins' for Atlanta.
Carolina at Indianapolis. LINE: Panthers by 3. MY PICK: PANTHERS. There's been no sign that the Colts are anything but still beat-down without Peyton.
Cleveland at Cincinnati. LINE: Bengals by 7. MY PICK: BENGALS. Yes, the Bengals lost the last two weeks, to the Steelers and Ravens. But they played decently and were competitive in both. Meanwhile the Browns have shown little improvement.
Houston at Jacksonville. LINE: Texans by 6.5. MY PICK: TEXANS. Yes, Houston has lost QB Matt Schaub for the season. But Matt Leinart has experience; and most importantly, the Texans' run in the past few weeks was fueled not by their passing game; but by an improved run game and a powerful offensive line. Look for that to continue.
New England at Philadelphia. LINE: Patriots by 3.5. MY PICK: PATRIOTS. Michael Vick's status is questionable for this game, at best; Tom Brady's isn't. The Patriots come into this game healthier and playing better.
Buffalo at NY Jets. LINE: Jets by 9. MY PICK: JETS. Both teams have issues. But Buffalo seems to have completely had its wheels fall off--both figuratively and literally, as now leading rusher Fred Jackson is out. Look for the Jets to feel good for a week.
Chicago at Oakland. LINE: Raiders by 4. MY PICK: RAIDERS. For the Bears, Jay Cutler is out for at least several weeks; they may eventually be OK with Caleb Haney at QB, but this first week...on the road...look for them to struggle, and the Raiders to benefit.
Pittsburgh at Kansas City. LINE: Steelers by 10.5. MY PICK: STEELERS. KC has to make do with a backup QB, too--Tyler Palko. Against the Patriots, Palko's first reviews were not good. It won't get any easier--or better--against Pittsburgh.
Arizona at St. Louis. LINE: Rams by 3. MY PICK: CARDINALS. A battle of the weak. A hard game to pick---just going with my gut. The Cards have a few more explosive weapons...
Denver at San Diego. LINE: Chargers by 6. MY PICK: Hmm. The Chargers have lost 5 straight. Denver, with Tim Tebow, has won 4 of 5. Yet the line on this game began at 7, and only reluctantly has gone down to 6. Still no love in Vegas for Tebow, and still belief in the Chargers despite their poor play. Me? I guess I'm sort of on the Tebow bandwagon; I think his running ability, plus the improved play of the Bronco defense, will at least keep this one close. Go with Denver.
Washington at Seattle. LINE: Seahawks by 3.5. MY PICK: SEAHAWKS. The Seahawks are playing better, with wins in the past two weeks; meanwhile the Redskins played with great emotion in their close loss to the Cowboys last week, but figure to have a letdown this week.
Tampa Bay at Tennessee. LINE; Titans by 3.5. MY PICK: TITANS. The Bucs were very competitive at Green Bay last week. But it was another loss, and now here they are on the road again against a Titans team with a lot to play for. Look for the Bucs' slide to continue.
NY Giants at New Orleans. LINE: Saints by 7. MY PICK: SAINTS. New Orleans at home, on a Monday night, against a Giants team that seems to have lost its mojo when it comes to running the ball, a necessity for the Giants...it all adds up to good tidings for the Saints.
"Never mind what others do; do better than yourself, beat
your own record each and everyday, and you are a success."
-William Boetcker
Gotta get these in before the weekend comes to an end...
Last week I went 11-4! Not bad.
So far this week I'm only 1-2; I correctly had Green Bay covering
against the Lions...but I thought Dallas would beat the spread against the
Dolphins, and San Francisco would cover at Baltimore. No dice. Let's see
how I do the rest of the weekend:No
COLLEGE PICKS
Alabama at Auburn. LINE: Tide by 21. MY PICK: WAR EAGLE. Alabama will win this game. But 21 points is too much in a rivalry game like this, on the road.
Notre Dame at Stanford. LINE: Cardinal by 7. MY PICK: FIGHTING IRISH. Oregon (and others) have exposed that Stanford defense. I expect Andrew Luck to pull this game out late for Stanford...but look for the Irish to at least cover here, if not win outright.
NFL PICKS
Minnesota at Atlanta. LINE: Falcons by 9.5. MY PICK: FALCONS. No Adrian Peterson for the Vikings means relatively easy pickins' for Atlanta.
Carolina at Indianapolis. LINE: Panthers by 3. MY PICK: PANTHERS. There's been no sign that the Colts are anything but still beat-down without Peyton.
Cleveland at Cincinnati. LINE: Bengals by 7. MY PICK: BENGALS. Yes, the Bengals lost the last two weeks, to the Steelers and Ravens. But they played decently and were competitive in both. Meanwhile the Browns have shown little improvement.
Houston at Jacksonville. LINE: Texans by 6.5. MY PICK: TEXANS. Yes, Houston has lost QB Matt Schaub for the season. But Matt Leinart has experience; and most importantly, the Texans' run in the past few weeks was fueled not by their passing game; but by an improved run game and a powerful offensive line. Look for that to continue.
New England at Philadelphia. LINE: Patriots by 3.5. MY PICK: PATRIOTS. Michael Vick's status is questionable for this game, at best; Tom Brady's isn't. The Patriots come into this game healthier and playing better.
Buffalo at NY Jets. LINE: Jets by 9. MY PICK: JETS. Both teams have issues. But Buffalo seems to have completely had its wheels fall off--both figuratively and literally, as now leading rusher Fred Jackson is out. Look for the Jets to feel good for a week.
Chicago at Oakland. LINE: Raiders by 4. MY PICK: RAIDERS. For the Bears, Jay Cutler is out for at least several weeks; they may eventually be OK with Caleb Haney at QB, but this first week...on the road...look for them to struggle, and the Raiders to benefit.
Pittsburgh at Kansas City. LINE: Steelers by 10.5. MY PICK: STEELERS. KC has to make do with a backup QB, too--Tyler Palko. Against the Patriots, Palko's first reviews were not good. It won't get any easier--or better--against Pittsburgh.
Arizona at St. Louis. LINE: Rams by 3. MY PICK: CARDINALS. A battle of the weak. A hard game to pick---just going with my gut. The Cards have a few more explosive weapons...
Denver at San Diego. LINE: Chargers by 6. MY PICK: Hmm. The Chargers have lost 5 straight. Denver, with Tim Tebow, has won 4 of 5. Yet the line on this game began at 7, and only reluctantly has gone down to 6. Still no love in Vegas for Tebow, and still belief in the Chargers despite their poor play. Me? I guess I'm sort of on the Tebow bandwagon; I think his running ability, plus the improved play of the Bronco defense, will at least keep this one close. Go with Denver.
Washington at Seattle. LINE: Seahawks by 3.5. MY PICK: SEAHAWKS. The Seahawks are playing better, with wins in the past two weeks; meanwhile the Redskins played with great emotion in their close loss to the Cowboys last week, but figure to have a letdown this week.
Tampa Bay at Tennessee. LINE; Titans by 3.5. MY PICK: TITANS. The Bucs were very competitive at Green Bay last week. But it was another loss, and now here they are on the road again against a Titans team with a lot to play for. Look for the Bucs' slide to continue.
NY Giants at New Orleans. LINE: Saints by 7. MY PICK: SAINTS. New Orleans at home, on a Monday night, against a Giants team that seems to have lost its mojo when it comes to running the ball, a necessity for the Giants...it all adds up to good tidings for the Saints.
"Never mind what others do; do better than yourself, beat
your own record each and everyday, and you are a success."
-William Boetcker
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
HOW TO RAISE A GRATEFUL CHILD
In honor of Thanksgiving tomorrow, I thought this was interesting--all parents, take note:
"I was 7 years old when I received a tiny Christmas present -- about the size of an eraser -- awkwardly wrapped and covered in tape. My sister's boyfriend, Jeff, was visiting and had considerately brought gifts for his girlfriend's three younger siblings. Mine, though, was by far the smallest. I remember opening it up to reveal a miniature ceramic dog -- a cold, hard nothing that fit in the palm of my hand -- and thinking how unlucky I was. I gave Jeff my best cold shoulder the rest of the day.
And I've felt guilty about it ever since. Partly because, in hindsight, Jeff's gift was very thoughtful: I'd been obsessed with my dollhouse, and he had managed to find one accessory my dream home did not yet have -- a pet. Still, I couldn't look past the size of the gift to be grateful for the amount of care that had gone into choosing it.
In this, experts say, I wasn't an unusual kid: For distractible, still-developing children (and that's pretty much all of them), gratitude can be hard-won. While many can be trained to say "please" and "thank you" beginning at about 18 months, true appreciativeness and generosity take time to seed and blossom.
"There's a difference between encouraging thankfulness in your kids and actually expecting it," says Claire Lerner, a child-development specialist at Zero to Three, a nonprofit organization dedicated to the healthy development of kids and families. "Raising a grateful child is an ongoing process."
Vicki Hoefle, director of Parenting on Track, a parent-education program based in East Middlebury, Vermont (and the mother of five teenagers), concurs: "As nice as it is to think about having a five-year-old who appreciates and shows gratitude for everything, the truth is, parents can feel successful if they raise a thirty-five-year-old who embodies that grateful spirit."
So, to Jeff Galvin I offer a long-overdue "Thank you." To everyone else, here's how to avoid getting derailed by five not-so-thankful-kid moments, both this holiday season and all year long:
Your 9-year-old keeps a running -- and growing -- list of toys he has to have. He's up to number 23 this season.
In-The-Moment Fix "Emphasize that you appreciate there are many things he wants, but let him know it will only be possible to get a few of them," says Robert Brooks, Ph.D., a psychologist at Harvard Medical School and coauthor of Raising a Self-Disciplined Child. That way, you won't make him feel greedy or foolish for compiling a lengthy list, but you will set his expectations.
Another idea: Ask him to make a second list, equal in number to the things he wants to get, of things or actions he is willing to give, suggests Maureen Healy, author of 365 Perfect Things to Say to Your Kids. For example: 1) Clean his room, 2) Help you find a charity that the family can donate to, 3) Pitch in when Dad starts wrapping presents, 4) Make a holiday card. Last, if you're in for belt-tightening this year, let him know.
Be honest, but keep it simple and undramatic so you don't scare him. Instead of saying "Dad might lose his job, so we have to cut back" -- which might make him sure you'll be losing the house next -- say something like "Nothing major is going to change, but we'll have to wait until next year to go on vacation and we have to hold off on getting the new bike you wanted." It's likely your kid will think "Okay, I can live with that," says Lerner.
Long-Term Strategy
Help him understand that gifts are thoughtful gestures, not just a way for him to score materialistic gain, says Lerner. Anytime he receives a present, point out everything the giver put into it. If a classmate makes him a friendship bracelet, for example, say "Oh, wow -- Lucy remembered that you thought these were cool. She picked out colors she knows you like, and it probably took her a whole hour to make. That is so nice." Do this enough times and he'll get the "quality, not quantity" idea before you know it.
Your 5-year-old grimaces at the stuffed Elmo her aunt gives her and says, "But I wanted a Barbie!"
In-The-Moment Fix
"The concept of hiding your own negative feelings to protect someone else's is way too complex for kids five and under," says Lerner. (Older kids get better and better but will still have frequent slipups.) So validate your daughter's feelings without responding critically, says Brooks.
Say "I know you wanted a Barbie, but let's think about all the different ways we can play with Elmo." You can also step in and model the appropriate response -- and defuse the uncomfortable situation -- by exclaiming something like "Wow, that was so thoughtful, wasn't it, Alli? Aunt Karen remembered you needed mittens!" This trick works for all ages: If your older son receives a gift he already owns, for example, say "Oh, cool! That's your favorite game!"
Write a little script for your child to follow when he gets a present, recommends Bette Freedson of the National Association of Social Workers. Come up with a stock line or two together, like "Thank you! I like it a lot!" He can also pick out one thing to specifically compliment ("This blanket feels really soft").
Long-Term StrategyBefore any gift-getting occasion, prepare your child for the possibility that she may not like all her presents, but at the same time, let her know that it's still important to show her appreciation. Remind her that people put effort into trying to find her the best thing. Then devise a special cue between the two of you, suggests Lerner, that reminds her to say thank you. When you see her mouth turning down, you can clap your hands and say "Great present!" to snap her back into good-manners mode.
You can't even take your kid to get socks or lightbulbs without him whining for you to buy him something -- seemingly anything.
In-The-Moment Fix
Before you go on any shopping trip, inform your child that you'll be hitting the mall to, say, buy gifts for his cousins. "Engage him in the process," says Lerner. "Ask him what his cousin Jane likes and which toy you should get her. Get him excited about buying for someone else." At the same time, make it clear that you won't be able to buy anything for him. Then, if your son throws a fit at the store, you can refer back to that conversation, and say something like "I know it's hard to be here when you're not getting anything, but that's the rule. Now, I really need your help finding something for Jane." Let's be honest: That might not be enough to stop his whining. But steel yourself and stay strong. Caving in will only teach him that he will eventually get his way if he complains loud or long enough.
Long-Term Strategy
Your weekends may be errand time, but try to avoid spending all your family moments pushing a shopping cart. That way, your kids won't think acquiring stuff is the leisure-time norm. (Don't get us wrong, though: We know those flattering jeans are sometimes an absolute necessity!) Denver mom Beth Korin says she and her two boys, ages 7 and 9, frequently head to the library, an indoor pool, or a rock-climbing gym instead. "We try to think of things we can do that don't involve hanging out in stores," she says. Prepare kids for these events the same way you would for gifts ("We're going to have a big, delicious meal with all of your favorite foods, and then we're going to play games!"). The idea you want to get across is that having experiences can be just as exciting as accumulating things (if not more).
Your 6-year-old gobbles down the Teddy Grahams that another parent at the playground gives him. But when you prod him to say "Thank you," he won't.
In-The-Moment Fix It's easy to turn this "teachable moment" into a battle of wills -- one where you're repeating "I didn't hear you say thank you!" to your tantrum-ing child while the person he's supposed to thank is backing away in discomfort. But, explains Lerner, the fact that your son doesn't always say the words likely just means they haven't become a habit for him yet. "And getting into power struggles actually impedes the process," she says. So while you should definitely remind your kids to give thanks, it's best not to make a big deal about it if it doesn't happen.
Long-Term Strategy Remind yourself to model grateful behavior. When your cookie-muncher goes silent, go ahead and say the necessary "Thank you so much!" for him. (At least until he gets older and can be counted on to follow your cues.) In your own everyday interactions, always offer warm thank-yous and praise to grocery store clerks, gas-station attendants, waiters, teachers -- anyone who's helpful to you or him. You may think your child isn't paying attention to those small moments, but he actually is.
When you say no to a toy that, according to your daughter, "everyone at school" has, she complains that all her BFFs get cooler stuff than she does.
In-The-Moment FixSympathize with her frustration, but remind your daughter that, actually, many people don't have as much as she does. How? Begin a tradition of charity work and donating. Start simple: As young as age 3, children can be encouraged to go through their belongings and pick out items to donate, says Lerner. Every year after that, they can get more involved. Last year, Gabrielle Melchionda of Yarmouth, ME, and her two sons, ages 5 and 9, volunteered to decorate low-income homes for Christmas. "It was so nice to see all of the kids, mine and those who lived there, on their bellies coloring together," she says. "Later, my kids asked things like 'Was that the whole house?' It sparked conversation for months. It was an experience none of us will forget."
Long-Term Strategy Expose your daughter to people from all walks of life. "We often try to shield our children from those who are less fortunate, but it's important that kids know how lucky they are," says Dale McGowan, a father of three in Atlanta and coauthor of Parenting Beyond Belief. So the next time you see a homeless person, pass a shelter, or read a story in the news about a needy family, he suggests, ask questions -- "Where do you think that man sleeps?" or "Can you imagine what it would be like not to have a home?" -- that get your kids to put themselves in someone else's shoes. (At the same time, assure them that your family will always have a place to call home.) You'll be surprised -- and pleased -- at how often kids are moved to want to help.
Bonus mom advice: Don't diss gifts yourself as long as your little one is around. In fact, make a point of talking about the redeeming qualities of even that hideous necklace from your mother-in-law--how shiny! "You have to model gratitude if you want your child to practice it, too," points out Janette B. Benson, Ph.D., associate professor of psychology at the University of Denver."
THANKSGIVING: THE POWER OF NOSTALGIA
And also--why Thanksgiving feels so good, and the food tastes so good: because it reminds us of, makes us feel nostalgic for, good family time in the past; and there's nothing wrong with that:
"You've been thinking about it for weeks. Mounds of turkey piled high with buttery mashed potatoes, dripping with gravy.
Green bean casserole and pumpkin pie. Or sweet potato casserole and pecan pie. Cranberries. Collard greens. Stuffing.
Every year, we spend hours making the traditional Thanksgiving favorites just like our mom used to do, like her mom did before that.
"When you do something repeatedly over the years, it builds up a kind of power," nutritional psychologist Marc David says. "It creates its own momentum. To make the same dish year after year, decade after decade, there's something in that that connects us to the past."
Anything can bring on that special moment -- music, smells, photos. We play the same songs, cook the same recipes, take the same family photo in the same spot next to the same fireplace because we're human, David says. Our biological functions are based on repetitive rhythms. Our brains are hardwired to relax when surrounded by the familiar.
"Emotional eating has gotten a bad name," David says. "We're emotional people. We are emotional beings. We're built for pleasure."
Nostalgic products fill a need to belong and feel socially connected, according to an Arizona State University study published in the Journal of Consumer Research last year.
That's why this time of year, TV and radio ads are filled with smiling families sitting around a large table in holiday sweaters, passing the dinner rolls. Even if you're far away from home, companies want you to believe that buying those same dinner rolls will fill your heart with holiday joy. Turns out, it works.
Dr. Clay Routledge works with other researchers from the University of Southampton's nostalgia project. He recently published an article in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology titled "The past makes present meaningful."
Nostalgia, Routledge found, increases a person's self-esteem. Daily activities like going to class or attending meetings are routine, even boring. When we engage in nostalgia, we tend to think of the things that are really important to us. That makes us feel like our life is meaningful.
"What's amazing about autobiographical memory is that bad memories fade faster than positive memories," Routledge says. "One thing that's interesting about nostalgia is that it's not 100% detail accurate -- it's more the highlights."
Nostalgia is largely social. Routledge' s studies found that people who are alone or disconnected feel better after engaging in nostalgia. Yet you're probably dreaming right now about your grandfather's deep-fried turkey, not about him, right?
"Is it really about the food?" Routledge asks. "Or is the food just sort of a trigger or cue for what the holidays are really all about, which is relationships. We don't eat these foods other times of the year because we've segmented them off as special. They go with this occasion. They go with the relationships."
For Taste of Home editor Catherine Cassidy, Thanksgiving means cooking for the ones she loves. She gets satisfaction in putting good food on the table for her family. So many of our best moments from the past, she says, are rooted in our sense of smell.
"We call them food memories. When it comes to the holidays we are always trying to recreate the magic and the specialness we experienced when we were children."
So indulge in a little Thanksgiving daydream. Long for the oyster stuffing. Sniff the air in anticipation of mom's pumpkin pie. Then on the big day, enjoy your holiday feast, and all the benefits that come from the power of nostalgia."
BRAIN TALK DEPT
And of course we always love brain talk---today: how meditating can help:
"When you're under pressure from work and family and the emails don't stop coming, it's hard to stop your mind from jumping all over the place.
In honor of Thanksgiving tomorrow, I thought this was interesting--all parents, take note:
"I was 7 years old when I received a tiny Christmas present -- about the size of an eraser -- awkwardly wrapped and covered in tape. My sister's boyfriend, Jeff, was visiting and had considerately brought gifts for his girlfriend's three younger siblings. Mine, though, was by far the smallest. I remember opening it up to reveal a miniature ceramic dog -- a cold, hard nothing that fit in the palm of my hand -- and thinking how unlucky I was. I gave Jeff my best cold shoulder the rest of the day.
And I've felt guilty about it ever since. Partly because, in hindsight, Jeff's gift was very thoughtful: I'd been obsessed with my dollhouse, and he had managed to find one accessory my dream home did not yet have -- a pet. Still, I couldn't look past the size of the gift to be grateful for the amount of care that had gone into choosing it.
In this, experts say, I wasn't an unusual kid: For distractible, still-developing children (and that's pretty much all of them), gratitude can be hard-won. While many can be trained to say "please" and "thank you" beginning at about 18 months, true appreciativeness and generosity take time to seed and blossom.
"There's a difference between encouraging thankfulness in your kids and actually expecting it," says Claire Lerner, a child-development specialist at Zero to Three, a nonprofit organization dedicated to the healthy development of kids and families. "Raising a grateful child is an ongoing process."
Vicki Hoefle, director of Parenting on Track, a parent-education program based in East Middlebury, Vermont (and the mother of five teenagers), concurs: "As nice as it is to think about having a five-year-old who appreciates and shows gratitude for everything, the truth is, parents can feel successful if they raise a thirty-five-year-old who embodies that grateful spirit."
So, to Jeff Galvin I offer a long-overdue "Thank you." To everyone else, here's how to avoid getting derailed by five not-so-thankful-kid moments, both this holiday season and all year long:
Your 9-year-old keeps a running -- and growing -- list of toys he has to have. He's up to number 23 this season.
In-The-Moment Fix "Emphasize that you appreciate there are many things he wants, but let him know it will only be possible to get a few of them," says Robert Brooks, Ph.D., a psychologist at Harvard Medical School and coauthor of Raising a Self-Disciplined Child. That way, you won't make him feel greedy or foolish for compiling a lengthy list, but you will set his expectations.
Another idea: Ask him to make a second list, equal in number to the things he wants to get, of things or actions he is willing to give, suggests Maureen Healy, author of 365 Perfect Things to Say to Your Kids. For example: 1) Clean his room, 2) Help you find a charity that the family can donate to, 3) Pitch in when Dad starts wrapping presents, 4) Make a holiday card. Last, if you're in for belt-tightening this year, let him know.
Be honest, but keep it simple and undramatic so you don't scare him. Instead of saying "Dad might lose his job, so we have to cut back" -- which might make him sure you'll be losing the house next -- say something like "Nothing major is going to change, but we'll have to wait until next year to go on vacation and we have to hold off on getting the new bike you wanted." It's likely your kid will think "Okay, I can live with that," says Lerner.
Long-Term Strategy
Help him understand that gifts are thoughtful gestures, not just a way for him to score materialistic gain, says Lerner. Anytime he receives a present, point out everything the giver put into it. If a classmate makes him a friendship bracelet, for example, say "Oh, wow -- Lucy remembered that you thought these were cool. She picked out colors she knows you like, and it probably took her a whole hour to make. That is so nice." Do this enough times and he'll get the "quality, not quantity" idea before you know it.
Your 5-year-old grimaces at the stuffed Elmo her aunt gives her and says, "But I wanted a Barbie!"
In-The-Moment Fix
"The concept of hiding your own negative feelings to protect someone else's is way too complex for kids five and under," says Lerner. (Older kids get better and better but will still have frequent slipups.) So validate your daughter's feelings without responding critically, says Brooks.
Say "I know you wanted a Barbie, but let's think about all the different ways we can play with Elmo." You can also step in and model the appropriate response -- and defuse the uncomfortable situation -- by exclaiming something like "Wow, that was so thoughtful, wasn't it, Alli? Aunt Karen remembered you needed mittens!" This trick works for all ages: If your older son receives a gift he already owns, for example, say "Oh, cool! That's your favorite game!"
Write a little script for your child to follow when he gets a present, recommends Bette Freedson of the National Association of Social Workers. Come up with a stock line or two together, like "Thank you! I like it a lot!" He can also pick out one thing to specifically compliment ("This blanket feels really soft").
Long-Term StrategyBefore any gift-getting occasion, prepare your child for the possibility that she may not like all her presents, but at the same time, let her know that it's still important to show her appreciation. Remind her that people put effort into trying to find her the best thing. Then devise a special cue between the two of you, suggests Lerner, that reminds her to say thank you. When you see her mouth turning down, you can clap your hands and say "Great present!" to snap her back into good-manners mode.
You can't even take your kid to get socks or lightbulbs without him whining for you to buy him something -- seemingly anything.
In-The-Moment Fix
Before you go on any shopping trip, inform your child that you'll be hitting the mall to, say, buy gifts for his cousins. "Engage him in the process," says Lerner. "Ask him what his cousin Jane likes and which toy you should get her. Get him excited about buying for someone else." At the same time, make it clear that you won't be able to buy anything for him. Then, if your son throws a fit at the store, you can refer back to that conversation, and say something like "I know it's hard to be here when you're not getting anything, but that's the rule. Now, I really need your help finding something for Jane." Let's be honest: That might not be enough to stop his whining. But steel yourself and stay strong. Caving in will only teach him that he will eventually get his way if he complains loud or long enough.
Long-Term Strategy
Your weekends may be errand time, but try to avoid spending all your family moments pushing a shopping cart. That way, your kids won't think acquiring stuff is the leisure-time norm. (Don't get us wrong, though: We know those flattering jeans are sometimes an absolute necessity!) Denver mom Beth Korin says she and her two boys, ages 7 and 9, frequently head to the library, an indoor pool, or a rock-climbing gym instead. "We try to think of things we can do that don't involve hanging out in stores," she says. Prepare kids for these events the same way you would for gifts ("We're going to have a big, delicious meal with all of your favorite foods, and then we're going to play games!"). The idea you want to get across is that having experiences can be just as exciting as accumulating things (if not more).
Your 6-year-old gobbles down the Teddy Grahams that another parent at the playground gives him. But when you prod him to say "Thank you," he won't.
In-The-Moment Fix It's easy to turn this "teachable moment" into a battle of wills -- one where you're repeating "I didn't hear you say thank you!" to your tantrum-ing child while the person he's supposed to thank is backing away in discomfort. But, explains Lerner, the fact that your son doesn't always say the words likely just means they haven't become a habit for him yet. "And getting into power struggles actually impedes the process," she says. So while you should definitely remind your kids to give thanks, it's best not to make a big deal about it if it doesn't happen.
Long-Term Strategy Remind yourself to model grateful behavior. When your cookie-muncher goes silent, go ahead and say the necessary "Thank you so much!" for him. (At least until he gets older and can be counted on to follow your cues.) In your own everyday interactions, always offer warm thank-yous and praise to grocery store clerks, gas-station attendants, waiters, teachers -- anyone who's helpful to you or him. You may think your child isn't paying attention to those small moments, but he actually is.
When you say no to a toy that, according to your daughter, "everyone at school" has, she complains that all her BFFs get cooler stuff than she does.
In-The-Moment FixSympathize with her frustration, but remind your daughter that, actually, many people don't have as much as she does. How? Begin a tradition of charity work and donating. Start simple: As young as age 3, children can be encouraged to go through their belongings and pick out items to donate, says Lerner. Every year after that, they can get more involved. Last year, Gabrielle Melchionda of Yarmouth, ME, and her two sons, ages 5 and 9, volunteered to decorate low-income homes for Christmas. "It was so nice to see all of the kids, mine and those who lived there, on their bellies coloring together," she says. "Later, my kids asked things like 'Was that the whole house?' It sparked conversation for months. It was an experience none of us will forget."
Long-Term Strategy Expose your daughter to people from all walks of life. "We often try to shield our children from those who are less fortunate, but it's important that kids know how lucky they are," says Dale McGowan, a father of three in Atlanta and coauthor of Parenting Beyond Belief. So the next time you see a homeless person, pass a shelter, or read a story in the news about a needy family, he suggests, ask questions -- "Where do you think that man sleeps?" or "Can you imagine what it would be like not to have a home?" -- that get your kids to put themselves in someone else's shoes. (At the same time, assure them that your family will always have a place to call home.) You'll be surprised -- and pleased -- at how often kids are moved to want to help.
Bonus mom advice: Don't diss gifts yourself as long as your little one is around. In fact, make a point of talking about the redeeming qualities of even that hideous necklace from your mother-in-law--how shiny! "You have to model gratitude if you want your child to practice it, too," points out Janette B. Benson, Ph.D., associate professor of psychology at the University of Denver."
THANKSGIVING: THE POWER OF NOSTALGIA
And also--why Thanksgiving feels so good, and the food tastes so good: because it reminds us of, makes us feel nostalgic for, good family time in the past; and there's nothing wrong with that:
"You've been thinking about it for weeks. Mounds of turkey piled high with buttery mashed potatoes, dripping with gravy.
Green bean casserole and pumpkin pie. Or sweet potato casserole and pecan pie. Cranberries. Collard greens. Stuffing.
Every year, we spend hours making the traditional Thanksgiving favorites just like our mom used to do, like her mom did before that.
"When you do something repeatedly over the years, it builds up a kind of power," nutritional psychologist Marc David says. "It creates its own momentum. To make the same dish year after year, decade after decade, there's something in that that connects us to the past."
Nostalgia comes from the Greek word for homecoming (nostos) and pain (algos). But experts say feeling nostalgic is actually good for your mental health.
"Emotional eating has gotten a bad name," David says. "We're emotional people. We are emotional beings. We're built for pleasure."
Nostalgic products fill a need to belong and feel socially connected, according to an Arizona State University study published in the Journal of Consumer Research last year.
That's why this time of year, TV and radio ads are filled with smiling families sitting around a large table in holiday sweaters, passing the dinner rolls. Even if you're far away from home, companies want you to believe that buying those same dinner rolls will fill your heart with holiday joy. Turns out, it works.
Dr. Clay Routledge works with other researchers from the University of Southampton's nostalgia project. He recently published an article in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology titled "The past makes present meaningful."
Nostalgia, Routledge found, increases a person's self-esteem. Daily activities like going to class or attending meetings are routine, even boring. When we engage in nostalgia, we tend to think of the things that are really important to us. That makes us feel like our life is meaningful.
"What's amazing about autobiographical memory is that bad memories fade faster than positive memories," Routledge says. "One thing that's interesting about nostalgia is that it's not 100% detail accurate -- it's more the highlights."
Nostalgia is largely social. Routledge' s studies found that people who are alone or disconnected feel better after engaging in nostalgia. Yet you're probably dreaming right now about your grandfather's deep-fried turkey, not about him, right?
"Is it really about the food?" Routledge asks. "Or is the food just sort of a trigger or cue for what the holidays are really all about, which is relationships. We don't eat these foods other times of the year because we've segmented them off as special. They go with this occasion. They go with the relationships."
For Taste of Home editor Catherine Cassidy, Thanksgiving means cooking for the ones she loves. She gets satisfaction in putting good food on the table for her family. So many of our best moments from the past, she says, are rooted in our sense of smell.
"We call them food memories. When it comes to the holidays we are always trying to recreate the magic and the specialness we experienced when we were children."
So indulge in a little Thanksgiving daydream. Long for the oyster stuffing. Sniff the air in anticipation of mom's pumpkin pie. Then on the big day, enjoy your holiday feast, and all the benefits that come from the power of nostalgia."
BRAIN TALK DEPT
And of course we always love brain talk---today: how meditating can help:
"When you're under pressure from work and family and the emails don't stop coming, it's hard to stop your mind from jumping all over the place.
But scientists are finding that it may be worth it to train your brain to focus on something as simple as your breath, which is part of mindfulness meditation.
A new study, published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, is the latest in a hot emerging field of research examining how meditation relates to the brain. It shows that people who are experienced meditators show less activity in the brain's default mode network, when the brain is not engaged in focused thought.
The default mode network is associated with introspection and mind wandering. Typically, drifting thoughts tend to focus on negative subjects, creating more stress and anxiety. It has also been linked to attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder and Alzheimer's disease.
Researchers looked at experienced meditators and trained novices. There were 12 in the "experienced" category, with an average of more than 10,000 hours of mindfulness meditation experience (Malcolm Gladwell's "Outliers" suggests that it takes 10,000 hours to be an expert at something), and 12 healthy volunteers who were novices in meditation.
Each volunteer was instructed to engage in three types of meditation: concentration (attention to the breath), love-kindness (wishing beings well) and choiceless awareness (focus on whatever comes up). Scientists looked at their brain activity during these meditations with functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI).
Across all of these types of meditation, the experienced meditators showed less activity in the default mode network than in the novices. The experienced participants also reported less mind wandering than the novices. Interestingly, experienced meditators also showed increased connectivity between certain brain networks during meditation and non-meditation.
"It doesn't matter what they're doing, they have an altered default mode network," said Dr. Judson Brewer, medical director of the Yale University Therapeutic Neuroscience Clinic and lead author of the study. "We were pretty excited about that, because it suggests that these guys are paying attention a lot more."
From this particular study, researchers can't say whether meditating is beneficial to the brain. But, viewed in conjunction with other studies showing the positive effects of mindfulness training for depression, substance abuse, anxiety and pain disorders, it seems to have promise. Also, a 2010 study found that people tend to be more unhappy when they their mind is wandering.
"Putting all those together, we might be able to start get at what the mechanisms of mindfulness are," Brewer said.
But the study does not address the issue of cause: Is meditation changing the brain, or do people who already have these brain patterns get interested in meditation?
"Emerging data from our group and others suggests that some things thought to be result of meditation might be cause of meditation," said Dr. Charles Raison, associate professor in the Department of Psychiatry at the University of Arizona College of Medicine.
If some people are just better at keeping their minds from wandering, that would also be consistent with the Buddhist idea that your capabilities are the result of your Karmic path, so meditation may be better suited to some people than others, Raison said.
Someday, if brain scans become cheap enough, one day there might be a test to see who can benefit most from mindfulness training, Raison said.
In the meantime, scientists should explore these open questions by doing longitudinal studies, Raison said. That would involve assigning some people to meditate and some people to not meditate, and following the groups over time to see whether a change in brain activity patterns is visible.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!
"He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered
himself is mightier still." -Lao-Tzu
A new study, published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, is the latest in a hot emerging field of research examining how meditation relates to the brain. It shows that people who are experienced meditators show less activity in the brain's default mode network, when the brain is not engaged in focused thought.
The default mode network is associated with introspection and mind wandering. Typically, drifting thoughts tend to focus on negative subjects, creating more stress and anxiety. It has also been linked to attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder and Alzheimer's disease.
Researchers looked at experienced meditators and trained novices. There were 12 in the "experienced" category, with an average of more than 10,000 hours of mindfulness meditation experience (Malcolm Gladwell's "Outliers" suggests that it takes 10,000 hours to be an expert at something), and 12 healthy volunteers who were novices in meditation.
Each volunteer was instructed to engage in three types of meditation: concentration (attention to the breath), love-kindness (wishing beings well) and choiceless awareness (focus on whatever comes up). Scientists looked at their brain activity during these meditations with functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI).
Across all of these types of meditation, the experienced meditators showed less activity in the default mode network than in the novices. The experienced participants also reported less mind wandering than the novices. Interestingly, experienced meditators also showed increased connectivity between certain brain networks during meditation and non-meditation.
"It doesn't matter what they're doing, they have an altered default mode network," said Dr. Judson Brewer, medical director of the Yale University Therapeutic Neuroscience Clinic and lead author of the study. "We were pretty excited about that, because it suggests that these guys are paying attention a lot more."
From this particular study, researchers can't say whether meditating is beneficial to the brain. But, viewed in conjunction with other studies showing the positive effects of mindfulness training for depression, substance abuse, anxiety and pain disorders, it seems to have promise. Also, a 2010 study found that people tend to be more unhappy when they their mind is wandering.
"Putting all those together, we might be able to start get at what the mechanisms of mindfulness are," Brewer said.
But the study does not address the issue of cause: Is meditation changing the brain, or do people who already have these brain patterns get interested in meditation?
"Emerging data from our group and others suggests that some things thought to be result of meditation might be cause of meditation," said Dr. Charles Raison, associate professor in the Department of Psychiatry at the University of Arizona College of Medicine.
If some people are just better at keeping their minds from wandering, that would also be consistent with the Buddhist idea that your capabilities are the result of your Karmic path, so meditation may be better suited to some people than others, Raison said.
Someday, if brain scans become cheap enough, one day there might be a test to see who can benefit most from mindfulness training, Raison said.
In the meantime, scientists should explore these open questions by doing longitudinal studies, Raison said. That would involve assigning some people to meditate and some people to not meditate, and following the groups over time to see whether a change in brain activity patterns is visible.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!
"He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered
himself is mightier still." -Lao-Tzu
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
FACEBOOK REALLY IS POWERFUL
In the sense that the "degrees of separation", among users of Facebook, has declined:
"
In the sense that the "degrees of separation", among users of Facebook, has declined:
"
Perhaps the saying should be four degrees of separation, rather than six?
Using data on the linkages between 721 million Facebook users, a team of scientists discovered that the average number of acquaintances separating any two people in the United States was 4.37, and that the number separating any two people in the world was 4.74. As John Markoff and Somini Sengupta report in today’s New York Times, the findings highlight the growing power of the emerging science of social networks:
Facebook not only gives those with Moebius the opportunity to form a closer community; it gives everyone that opportunity.
"Impossibilities are merely things which we have not yet learned."
-Charles W. Chesnutt
Using data on the linkages between 721 million Facebook users, a team of scientists discovered that the average number of acquaintances separating any two people in the United States was 4.37, and that the number separating any two people in the world was 4.74. As John Markoff and Somini Sengupta report in today’s New York Times, the findings highlight the growing power of the emerging science of social networks:
The original “six degrees” finding, published in 1967 by the psychologist Stanley Milgram, was drawn from 296 volunteers who were asked to send a message by postcard, through friends and then friends of friends, to a specific person in a Boston suburb.How many people around the world are you connected to through your Facebook account? And how many of your Facebook “friends” are actual friends, or simply “buddies?” To learn more about the research and its implications for social networks, read the full report, “Separating You and Me? 4.74 Degrees,” and then please join the discussion below."
The new research used a slightly bigger cohort: 721 million Facebook users, more than one-tenth of the world’s population. The findings were posted on Facebook’s site Monday night.…
“When considering even the most distant Facebook user in the Siberian tundra or the Peruvian rain forest,” the company wrote on its blog, “a friend of your friend probably knows a friend of their friend.” The caveat there is “Facebook user” — like the Milgram study, the cohort was a self-selected group, in this case people with online access who use a particular Web site.
Facebook not only gives those with Moebius the opportunity to form a closer community; it gives everyone that opportunity.
"Impossibilities are merely things which we have not yet learned."
-Charles W. Chesnutt
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