Last week's record: 8-7.
Record for the year: 118-82.
COLLEGE FOOTBALL PICKS
New Mexico Bowl. Arizona vs New Mexico. My pick: LOBOS. Arizona is favored by 9. But with this game being played close to home, and perhaps the Wildcats not being mentally ready to go for a "minor" bowl such as this, I say pick the upset.
Las Vegas Bowl. BYU vs Utah. My pick: UTES. I think Utah plays very sound football and had a good season. Look for them to win their 10th game today.
NFL PICKS
NY Jets at Dallas. My pick: JETS 24-10. The Jets have a good defense. And in any case, the Cowboys under Matt Cassel have shown--they just can't move the football.
Chicago at Minnesota. My pick: VIKINGS 24-14. Look for Adrian Peterson to have a good game; and when he runs well, the Vikings usually win.
Atlanta at Jacksonville. My pick: JAGUARS 30-20. Look for the Jags to continue to build off the momentum of last week's win. Meanwhile, the Falcons' slide continues.
Houston at Indianapolis. My pick: COLTS 20-17. With these two up and down teams, who knows? But the Colts play with a lot of confidence at home.
Carolina at NY Giants. My pick: PANTHERS 28-20. The Panthers seem to be peaking; why expect them to slow down now?
Tennessee at New England. My pick: PATRIOTS 30-10. The young Titans will get schooled by a veteran team that doesn't lose games like this (or let down).
Buffalo at Washington. My pick: BILLS 24-20. Again, with these inconsistent teams, who knows? But I suspect the Redskins' inconsistency will be what dominates here. Look for Tyrod Taylor to have a good game.
Kansas City at Baltimore. My pick: CHIEFS 28-13. The Chiefs are rolling. And the Ravens don't have Joe Flacco. End of story.
Cleveland at Seattle. My pick: SEAHAWKS 34-10. Look for the Seahawks to keep rolling; look for Johnny Manziel to get schooled.
Green Bay at Oakland. My pick: PACKERS 27-21. This actually should be an interesting battle; the Raiders had a big win last week vs Denver and are tough at home. But look for Aaron Rodgers to pull this one out late; the Pack looks improved with their head coach calling plays again.
Denver at Pittsburgh. My pick: STEELERS 27-17. Pittsburgh and Big Ben are rolling; and Brock Osweiler continues to come back down to earth.
Miami at San Diego. My pick: CHARGERS 26-23. Two struggling teams. But I just think Philip Rivers will find a way to say goodbye to the old stadium in San Diego with a win.
Cincinnati at San Francisco. My pick: BENGALS 20-10. The Bengals have enough weapons that A.J. McCarron, with a week of practice, should be able to do enough to beat the Niners.
Arizona at Philadelphia. My pick: CARDINALS 28-23. The Cardinals have played pretty consistently well...and Carson Palmer has especially played well.
Detroit at New Orlenas. My pick: SAINTS 27-20. The Saints can still move the ball, and are still playing hard--see their win last week in Tampa. The Lions have been very inconsistent.
Saturday, December 19, 2015
Thursday, December 17, 2015
FOR MOMS AND DADS: DISCIPLINE VS DICTATORSHIP
I just thought this was interesting. All us parents, be we Moebius moms and dads or parents in general, deal with discipline and how to do it right. I thought this was an interesting take:
*******************
As a mother of two tweens, I’ve read all the books about discipline, but realized they are all forms of one idea: the control and management of children.
It’s oxymoronic: We also say we want to raise children who will become autonomous, courageous, compassionate and deep-thinkers when they become adults. Citizens of a democracy. Leaders of the world. Yet our discipline in at home and at school still reflect the Industrial Revolution. A clockwork of control through rewards and punishments where sitting still and simply doing what you are told might reap benefits.
Though it may look like impeccable behavior and good discipline, teaching kids to have their hands folded in their lap and to be yes-men is dangerous.
We are in the 21st century, an era of new culture wars: innovation, terrorism, fundamentalism, the rise of the creative class, climate change, increasing inequality, global citizenship, and disruption in higher education. Carrots and sticks discipline doesn’t teach children how to think, engage or interact with these Big Questions or become morally sophisticated people.
To raise the adults who will negotiate these issues we need a new mindset. I’m reading Alfie Kohn’s book Beyond Discipline. He advocates for community.
Kohn is a professional radical and gadfly, author of The Homework Myth: Why Our Kids Get Too Much Of A Bad Thing, and most recently The Myth Of The Spoiled Child: Challenging the Conventional Wisdom About Children and Parenting.
He writes that we have to trust each other in our homes, wrestle with what it means to live and learn together, deal with conflict and practice the skills of conflict resolution. He argues that ultimately these experiences are “more meaningful than a list of rules or guidelines.” I agree with him. My rules — Put Your Laundry In The Basket, for instance — were only ever met with temporary compliance anyway.I’ve exchanged rules for more time-consuming, open-end, nuanced, thoughtful conversation about how we want (if we want, and why) to keep our clothes clean. I’ve “brought the kids in,” as Kohn suggests.
It’s a mess.
It’s also really interesting. My kids for the first time ever are thinking, arguing, grappling and building effective systems and I’m doing it with them, not to them.
After years of being required to do what they are told and being called “good” because they obeyed me, after not thinking too independently nor advocating too loudly for their own interests, my kids, 8 and 10, are saying, “Mom? How can we be good so we get cookies?” And I say, “Cookies? ‘Rewards are control through seduction,’ Mommy doesn’t do that anymore. Let’s make cookies together!”
They say, “Are you going to check our homework?” I say, “Why is homework important? What do you think? Does everyone agree about homework? What does it mean to have done homework well? How do you know when you have done so?” They scratch their heads and consider.
“Do we have to clean our rooms?” they ask, elbow-nudging each other over Mom’s New Wacky Parenting Plan. Previously, I was a tyrant, a true dragon, about the cleanliness of their rooms. Then I asked myself “Why?” The answer “Because I said so,” felt hollow from a the perspective of someone who wants to emphasize reason, personal initiative and problem-solving in her children.
So I say, “Great question. Let’s call a family meeting and decide,” and we do, and they decide that they’d like to arrange their toys so that they can see them.
My dictatorship is over.
I didn’t feel like myself when I acted as the captain, the leader, as most of the traditional discipline books demanded I be. It always felt dishonest to present myself to my children as Wise and Powerful: Punisher Of Bad Behavior With Consequences and Rewarder of Good Behavior With Praise n’ Cookies. Now I’m free. We are a household of learners. Just as they are, I’m working on becoming a courageous, independent, thoughtful and empathetic person. Ready to engage civilly with people who disagree with me, wrestle intellectually with the things I somewhat irrationally cling to (that Thanksgiving includes a turkey, for instance) and to open my mind and heart to the words and thoughts of my children.
The change in the dynamic of our family is dramatic. It’s happier. It’s warmer. I’m not Queen Of All I Survey, punishing or rewarding them. We’re actually listening to each other, practicing the skills they will need later as adults in life meeting hard issues head-on.
Yes, building a beloved community takes more time, and yes, it’s messy: there is more active conflict and conversation and argument, but I’m okay with that. In fact, I encourage it. It’s impeccable preparation. We want our children to be citizens of the future.
My dismissal of traditional discipline has shifted my perspective on what it is to be a good parent today, raising the good people of tomorrow. It’s far beyond carrots and sticks.
Elizabeth Bastos is a Baltimore-based writer. You can find her on Twitter and her blog.
*******************************
*******************
As a mother of two tweens, I’ve read all the books about discipline, but realized they are all forms of one idea: the control and management of children.
It’s oxymoronic: We also say we want to raise children who will become autonomous, courageous, compassionate and deep-thinkers when they become adults. Citizens of a democracy. Leaders of the world. Yet our discipline in at home and at school still reflect the Industrial Revolution. A clockwork of control through rewards and punishments where sitting still and simply doing what you are told might reap benefits.
Though it may look like impeccable behavior and good discipline, teaching kids to have their hands folded in their lap and to be yes-men is dangerous.
We are in the 21st century, an era of new culture wars: innovation, terrorism, fundamentalism, the rise of the creative class, climate change, increasing inequality, global citizenship, and disruption in higher education. Carrots and sticks discipline doesn’t teach children how to think, engage or interact with these Big Questions or become morally sophisticated people.
To raise the adults who will negotiate these issues we need a new mindset. I’m reading Alfie Kohn’s book Beyond Discipline. He advocates for community.
Kohn is a professional radical and gadfly, author of The Homework Myth: Why Our Kids Get Too Much Of A Bad Thing, and most recently The Myth Of The Spoiled Child: Challenging the Conventional Wisdom About Children and Parenting.
He writes that we have to trust each other in our homes, wrestle with what it means to live and learn together, deal with conflict and practice the skills of conflict resolution. He argues that ultimately these experiences are “more meaningful than a list of rules or guidelines.” I agree with him. My rules — Put Your Laundry In The Basket, for instance — were only ever met with temporary compliance anyway.I’ve exchanged rules for more time-consuming, open-end, nuanced, thoughtful conversation about how we want (if we want, and why) to keep our clothes clean. I’ve “brought the kids in,” as Kohn suggests.
It’s a mess.
It’s also really interesting. My kids for the first time ever are thinking, arguing, grappling and building effective systems and I’m doing it with them, not to them.
After years of being required to do what they are told and being called “good” because they obeyed me, after not thinking too independently nor advocating too loudly for their own interests, my kids, 8 and 10, are saying, “Mom? How can we be good so we get cookies?” And I say, “Cookies? ‘Rewards are control through seduction,’ Mommy doesn’t do that anymore. Let’s make cookies together!”
They say, “Are you going to check our homework?” I say, “Why is homework important? What do you think? Does everyone agree about homework? What does it mean to have done homework well? How do you know when you have done so?” They scratch their heads and consider.
“Do we have to clean our rooms?” they ask, elbow-nudging each other over Mom’s New Wacky Parenting Plan. Previously, I was a tyrant, a true dragon, about the cleanliness of their rooms. Then I asked myself “Why?” The answer “Because I said so,” felt hollow from a the perspective of someone who wants to emphasize reason, personal initiative and problem-solving in her children.
So I say, “Great question. Let’s call a family meeting and decide,” and we do, and they decide that they’d like to arrange their toys so that they can see them.
My dictatorship is over.
I didn’t feel like myself when I acted as the captain, the leader, as most of the traditional discipline books demanded I be. It always felt dishonest to present myself to my children as Wise and Powerful: Punisher Of Bad Behavior With Consequences and Rewarder of Good Behavior With Praise n’ Cookies. Now I’m free. We are a household of learners. Just as they are, I’m working on becoming a courageous, independent, thoughtful and empathetic person. Ready to engage civilly with people who disagree with me, wrestle intellectually with the things I somewhat irrationally cling to (that Thanksgiving includes a turkey, for instance) and to open my mind and heart to the words and thoughts of my children.
The change in the dynamic of our family is dramatic. It’s happier. It’s warmer. I’m not Queen Of All I Survey, punishing or rewarding them. We’re actually listening to each other, practicing the skills they will need later as adults in life meeting hard issues head-on.
Yes, building a beloved community takes more time, and yes, it’s messy: there is more active conflict and conversation and argument, but I’m okay with that. In fact, I encourage it. It’s impeccable preparation. We want our children to be citizens of the future.
My dismissal of traditional discipline has shifted my perspective on what it is to be a good parent today, raising the good people of tomorrow. It’s far beyond carrots and sticks.
Elizabeth Bastos is a Baltimore-based writer. You can find her on Twitter and her blog.
*******************************
Wednesday, December 16, 2015
DON'T ISOLATE YOURSELF
For some of us with Moebius Syndrome, isolating ourselves can be tempting. We look different. We sound different. People stare at us; some have prejudice against us. That's no fun to go through. It can be tempting then to, metaphorically, go live in a cave. But remember--not everyone is like that. And being alone? It is not good for your health. Read on:
*******************
*******************
For early humans,
being alone was no way to live. Those on the tribe’s periphery faced
increased risks of starvation, predation and early death. And so humans
(like other communal creatures) evolved what seem to be specific
biological reactions to social threats. A social animal that feels
itself to be isolated from its kind begins to behave nervously and experiences unhealthy physiological responses.
The body produces more stress-related biochemicals, leading to
inflammation and a reduced ability to fight viral infections. These
adaptations might help explain why many chronically lonely people have
an overabundance of stress-related cells and weakened immune systems.
But how they see the world — how loneliness affects their thinking — may
be just as consequential to their health.
This conclusion finds support in a study recently conducted
by researchers at the Center for Cognitive and Social Neuroscience at
the University of Chicago. They began with a group of healthy young
volunteers who completed a loneliness questionnaire: 32 were categorized
as socially well integrated and 38 as lonely, perceiving themselves as
lacking intimate connections with another person. The subjects were all
equipped with sensors that register electrical activity in the brain
and then watched words in various colors flash across a computer screen.
Some of the words reflected general positive and negative emotions,
like ‘‘pleasure’’ and ‘‘misery.’’ Others referred overtly to positive
and negative social interactions — ‘‘accepted’’ and ‘‘unwanted,’’ for
example.
Among the lonely, the
areas of their brains related to attention lit up much more quickly than
those of the other subjects when they saw words related to social
isolation like ‘‘excluded,’’ ‘‘foe’’ and ‘‘detached’’ than when they saw
generally negative words like ‘‘frustrated’’ and ‘‘vomit.’’ Their
brains were also far less engaged by words with a positive connotation
compared with those of the socially connected volunteers. The findings
were unchanged when the researchers adjusted for depression and other
factors. (Lonely people aren’t necessarily depressed, and vice versa.)
The results show that
the lonelier you are, the more your attention is drawn toward negative
social information, says one of the researchers, John Cacioppo, whose
colleague and wife, Stephanie, led the study, which appeared in the
journal Cortex. Lonely people seemed inadvertently hypervigilant to
social threats. Rather poignantly, such thinking itself most likely
makes the loneliness worse, he says, by nudging the lonely to
‘‘unknowingly act in a more defensive, hostile way toward the others
with whom they would like to connect.’’
There are lessons in
this data for both the isolated and the communal, and they seem less
facile now that they are backed by research. Be nice and gently
welcoming to the curmudgeons you meet. Invite them to share coffee.
Don’t push for reciprocal invitations, perhaps. And if you happen to be
the curmudgeon, accept that invitation. It isn’t coming from a predator
out to devour you.
************************
Tuesday, December 15, 2015
NEWS FROM AROUND THE NATION
Beware--anti-depressant use can increase the risk of autism:
Taking antidepressants during pregnancy substantially increases the likelihood that a child will have autism, a new study suggests.
Researchers found that the odds a child would develop autism were 87 percent higher when expectant mothers took antidepressants during the last six months of pregnancy.
The findings published Monday in the journal JAMA Pediatrics come from a study looking at records on more than 145,000 Canadian children from the time of conception until age 10.
Using data about the kids and their mothers, researchers said that they factored for various circumstances including possible genetic predisposition to autism, maternal age and socioeconomic factors in order to look most specifically at the impact of medication.
“The variety of causes of autism remain unclear, but studies have shown that both genetics and environment can play a role,” said Anick Bérard of the University of Montreal, an author of the paper. “Our study has established that taking antidepressants during the second or third trimester of pregnancy almost doubles the risk that the child will be diagnosed with autism by age 7, especially if the mother takes selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, often known by its acronym SSRIs.”
Researchers said their findings are particularly important since depression is common and an estimated 6 to 10 percent of pregnant women are taking drugs to treat the condition.
However, in an accompanying editorial, Bryan H. King of Seattle Children’s Hospital cautioned that the findings are not as clear as they may seem, especially since it’s difficult to fully determine whether the increased autism risk stems from antidepressants or the presence of depression itself.
“It makes no more sense to suggest that (antidepressants) should always be avoided than to say that they should never be stopped,” King wrote. “As this literature develops and our list of potential risk factors expands, it is also likely that its complexity will move us even farther from being able to make categorical statements about something being all good or all bad.”
***************************
More bad news: the FBI reports an increase in reports of disability-related hate crimes:
New federal data indicates that the number of reported hate crimes targeting people with disabilities has ticked up.
There were 95 hate crime offenses related to disability bias last year, according to recently released statistics from the FBI’s Uniform Crime Reporting Program. The 2014 numbers are up slightly compared to the previous year when the FBI recorded 92 offenses targeting people with disabilities.
At the same time, however, the overall number of hate crimes documented fell to 5,479 criminal incidents in 2014.
In addition to disability, the FBI collects hate crimes statistics on criminal incidents motivated by a bias toward a particular race, religion, sexual orientation, gender, gender identity or ethnicity.
The data is drawn from reports gathered by nearly 15,500 law enforcement agencies nationwide.
Disability bias accounted for 1.4 percent of all hate crimes logged in 2014. Of them, 69 were committed against people with mental disabilities and 26 were aimed at those with physical disabilities, the FBI said.
******************************
But--on the good-news front--a high-school student was recently named athlete of the year for his work with cerebral palsy:
TEMPERANCE, Mich. — Hunter Gandee was helping build an accessible playground when he received a phone call.
The structure had become an important part of the 16-year-old’s quest to raise awareness of the challenges of living with cerebral palsy, a neurological disorder that affects his younger brother, Braden. It was then Hunter learned he would be honored with Sports Illustrated’s inaugural High School Athlete of the Year award.
“It means a lot to us,” Hunter said. “Sports Illustrated is such a prestigious publication, and because they are so large and they reach so many people, our story reaches that many people. The awareness spreads even further because of their reach and network. Awareness has always been our goal, so we’re incredibly thankful.”
Hunter, a sophomore at Bedford High School who wrestles at 160 pounds, flew to New York City on Monday and will be honored at Tuesday’s Sportsman of the Year banquet, alongside Serena Williams and Jack Nicklaus.
“It’s crazy to be in the presence of such high-profile athletes, and not only be in their presence but to be honored with them,” Hunter said. “It’s really cool and very humbling knowing I’m receiving this award.”
“I don’t truly feel like I completely deserve it. It was more than just me. It was my entire community, all the people that walked with me, my brother, my family, my wrestling team. It’s an extremely honorable experience.”
Braden, 9, is unable to walk, but his brother has not allowed a disability to alter his life. In 2014, Hunter walked 40 miles to Ann Arbor with his brother on his back.
The effort raised more than $16,000, which the Gandees donated to the University of Michigan’s Cerebral Palsy Research Consortium.
The story spread worldwide, leading to television interviews and even more donations. Hunter immediately zeroed in on building an inclusive playground at Douglas Road Elementary, where Braden attends school. The brothers completed a second 57-mile walk in June.
The C.P. Swagger Shipyard, containing wheelchair ramps and rubber floors, opened in October, thanks to more than $200,000 in donations.
“It’s a tremendous sense of pride in that young man and his family,” Bedford Athletic Director Mark German said. “The entire community is behind it. It just gives us a great feeling.
“We’d love to take credit for it, but we can’t. We’re just reaping the benefits of Hunter and Braden’s courage.”
In the past year, Hunter has been featured on national evening news broadcasts and magazines, met famous athletes, and garnered attention in countries he can’t even pronounce – all for a story the Gandees hoped might gain attention outside Monroe County.
“I never imagined or thought about this story going national,” he said. “It caught us by surprise when it did. We’re thankful for the opportunities we’ve been given. It’s really cool to see how far stories spread because it was never meant to go as far as it did.”
*************************
Taking antidepressants during pregnancy substantially increases the likelihood that a child will have autism, a new study suggests.
Researchers found that the odds a child would develop autism were 87 percent higher when expectant mothers took antidepressants during the last six months of pregnancy.
The findings published Monday in the journal JAMA Pediatrics come from a study looking at records on more than 145,000 Canadian children from the time of conception until age 10.
Using data about the kids and their mothers, researchers said that they factored for various circumstances including possible genetic predisposition to autism, maternal age and socioeconomic factors in order to look most specifically at the impact of medication.
“The variety of causes of autism remain unclear, but studies have shown that both genetics and environment can play a role,” said Anick Bérard of the University of Montreal, an author of the paper. “Our study has established that taking antidepressants during the second or third trimester of pregnancy almost doubles the risk that the child will be diagnosed with autism by age 7, especially if the mother takes selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, often known by its acronym SSRIs.”
Researchers said their findings are particularly important since depression is common and an estimated 6 to 10 percent of pregnant women are taking drugs to treat the condition.
However, in an accompanying editorial, Bryan H. King of Seattle Children’s Hospital cautioned that the findings are not as clear as they may seem, especially since it’s difficult to fully determine whether the increased autism risk stems from antidepressants or the presence of depression itself.
“It makes no more sense to suggest that (antidepressants) should always be avoided than to say that they should never be stopped,” King wrote. “As this literature develops and our list of potential risk factors expands, it is also likely that its complexity will move us even farther from being able to make categorical statements about something being all good or all bad.”
***************************
More bad news: the FBI reports an increase in reports of disability-related hate crimes:
New federal data indicates that the number of reported hate crimes targeting people with disabilities has ticked up.
There were 95 hate crime offenses related to disability bias last year, according to recently released statistics from the FBI’s Uniform Crime Reporting Program. The 2014 numbers are up slightly compared to the previous year when the FBI recorded 92 offenses targeting people with disabilities.
At the same time, however, the overall number of hate crimes documented fell to 5,479 criminal incidents in 2014.
In addition to disability, the FBI collects hate crimes statistics on criminal incidents motivated by a bias toward a particular race, religion, sexual orientation, gender, gender identity or ethnicity.
The data is drawn from reports gathered by nearly 15,500 law enforcement agencies nationwide.
Disability bias accounted for 1.4 percent of all hate crimes logged in 2014. Of them, 69 were committed against people with mental disabilities and 26 were aimed at those with physical disabilities, the FBI said.
******************************
But--on the good-news front--a high-school student was recently named athlete of the year for his work with cerebral palsy:
TEMPERANCE, Mich. — Hunter Gandee was helping build an accessible playground when he received a phone call.
The structure had become an important part of the 16-year-old’s quest to raise awareness of the challenges of living with cerebral palsy, a neurological disorder that affects his younger brother, Braden. It was then Hunter learned he would be honored with Sports Illustrated’s inaugural High School Athlete of the Year award.
“It means a lot to us,” Hunter said. “Sports Illustrated is such a prestigious publication, and because they are so large and they reach so many people, our story reaches that many people. The awareness spreads even further because of their reach and network. Awareness has always been our goal, so we’re incredibly thankful.”
Hunter, a sophomore at Bedford High School who wrestles at 160 pounds, flew to New York City on Monday and will be honored at Tuesday’s Sportsman of the Year banquet, alongside Serena Williams and Jack Nicklaus.
“It’s crazy to be in the presence of such high-profile athletes, and not only be in their presence but to be honored with them,” Hunter said. “It’s really cool and very humbling knowing I’m receiving this award.”
“I don’t truly feel like I completely deserve it. It was more than just me. It was my entire community, all the people that walked with me, my brother, my family, my wrestling team. It’s an extremely honorable experience.”
Braden, 9, is unable to walk, but his brother has not allowed a disability to alter his life. In 2014, Hunter walked 40 miles to Ann Arbor with his brother on his back.
The effort raised more than $16,000, which the Gandees donated to the University of Michigan’s Cerebral Palsy Research Consortium.
The story spread worldwide, leading to television interviews and even more donations. Hunter immediately zeroed in on building an inclusive playground at Douglas Road Elementary, where Braden attends school. The brothers completed a second 57-mile walk in June.
The C.P. Swagger Shipyard, containing wheelchair ramps and rubber floors, opened in October, thanks to more than $200,000 in donations.
“It’s a tremendous sense of pride in that young man and his family,” Bedford Athletic Director Mark German said. “The entire community is behind it. It just gives us a great feeling.
“We’d love to take credit for it, but we can’t. We’re just reaping the benefits of Hunter and Braden’s courage.”
In the past year, Hunter has been featured on national evening news broadcasts and magazines, met famous athletes, and garnered attention in countries he can’t even pronounce – all for a story the Gandees hoped might gain attention outside Monroe County.
“I never imagined or thought about this story going national,” he said. “It caught us by surprise when it did. We’re thankful for the opportunities we’ve been given. It’s really cool to see how far stories spread because it was never meant to go as far as it did.”
*************************
Sunday, December 13, 2015
FABULOUS FOOTBALL PICKS!!
Can't really call them Friday football picks, since I'm doing them early Sunday. :+)
Hah. Last week's record: 11-8. Bleah.
I'm 110-75 for the year.
NFL PICKS
Buffalo at Philadelphia. My pick: BILLS 24-23. The Eagles' wild inconsistency rears its ugly head again. And I could see Tyrod Taylor driving the Eagles defense crazy.
San Francisco at Cleveland. My pick: 49ERS 17-13. The Niners to build on their momentum from last week's win in Chicago. And why would anyone have much faith in the Browns' Johnny Manziel???
Detroit at St. Louis. My pick: RAMS 21-14. The Rams have looked horrible lately. But look for the Lions to be mentally beat-down from that last-second hail Mary loss to the Pack last week.
New Orleans at Tampa Bay. My pick: BUCS 28-24. Time to start believing in these Bucs under Lovie Smith's leadership. Plus--the Saints are coming off a tough divisional loss at home to Carolina. There's often a bad hangover the next week.
Tennessee at NY Jets. My pick: JETS 24-14. The Jets have a chance to build some momentum at home after last week's big win vs the Giants; you have to think they can do it with that defense vs the rookie Titan QB Mariota.
Pittsburgh at Cincinnati. My pick: BENGALS 27-21. This should be an excellent game. But I think the Bengals have righted the ship; here's a chance for them to completely claim this division. I think they'll take it.
Indianapolis at Jacksonville. My pick: COLTS 21-18. I know, the Colts looked horrible last week. But its just a gut feeling--I think Matt Hasselbeck will find a way yet again to beat a young, inexperienced divisional opponent.
San Diego at Kansas City. My pick: CHIEFS 27-17. I just think the Chiefs are playing real well right now.
Washington at Chicago. My pick: BEARS 23-20. Both teams are coming off tough losses where they didn't play well. Both teams are hard to figure. My guess? The key is that the 'Skins have been a poor road team all year.
Atlanta at Carolina. My pick: PANTHERS 30-17. You have to be impressed with what the Panthers have done and how well they have fit their pieces together. The Falcons meanwhile have been on a long slide to oblivion.
Seattle at Baltimore. My pick: SEAHAWKS 24-10. The Seahawks appear to be hitting their stride right at the bes time.
Oakland at Denver. My pick: BRONCOS 20-10. Who would have thunk it? But it seems to be true--the Broncos and Brock Osweiler (!) are on a roll.
Dallas at Green Bay. My pick: PACKERS 27-13. The Packers have had their struggles lately. But you have to think Aaron Rodgers will get it done here at home, especially given that the opposing QB is Matt Cassel.
New England at Houston. My pick: PATRIOTS 24-14. New England has struggled lately; but Houston struggles to score, and you have to think Tom Brady will find a way here.
NY Giants at Miami. My pick: GIANTS 26-23. Come on--the Giants just a due to find a way to win a close one. Aren't they????
Hah. Last week's record: 11-8. Bleah.
I'm 110-75 for the year.
NFL PICKS
Buffalo at Philadelphia. My pick: BILLS 24-23. The Eagles' wild inconsistency rears its ugly head again. And I could see Tyrod Taylor driving the Eagles defense crazy.
San Francisco at Cleveland. My pick: 49ERS 17-13. The Niners to build on their momentum from last week's win in Chicago. And why would anyone have much faith in the Browns' Johnny Manziel???
Detroit at St. Louis. My pick: RAMS 21-14. The Rams have looked horrible lately. But look for the Lions to be mentally beat-down from that last-second hail Mary loss to the Pack last week.
New Orleans at Tampa Bay. My pick: BUCS 28-24. Time to start believing in these Bucs under Lovie Smith's leadership. Plus--the Saints are coming off a tough divisional loss at home to Carolina. There's often a bad hangover the next week.
Tennessee at NY Jets. My pick: JETS 24-14. The Jets have a chance to build some momentum at home after last week's big win vs the Giants; you have to think they can do it with that defense vs the rookie Titan QB Mariota.
Pittsburgh at Cincinnati. My pick: BENGALS 27-21. This should be an excellent game. But I think the Bengals have righted the ship; here's a chance for them to completely claim this division. I think they'll take it.
Indianapolis at Jacksonville. My pick: COLTS 21-18. I know, the Colts looked horrible last week. But its just a gut feeling--I think Matt Hasselbeck will find a way yet again to beat a young, inexperienced divisional opponent.
San Diego at Kansas City. My pick: CHIEFS 27-17. I just think the Chiefs are playing real well right now.
Washington at Chicago. My pick: BEARS 23-20. Both teams are coming off tough losses where they didn't play well. Both teams are hard to figure. My guess? The key is that the 'Skins have been a poor road team all year.
Atlanta at Carolina. My pick: PANTHERS 30-17. You have to be impressed with what the Panthers have done and how well they have fit their pieces together. The Falcons meanwhile have been on a long slide to oblivion.
Seattle at Baltimore. My pick: SEAHAWKS 24-10. The Seahawks appear to be hitting their stride right at the bes time.
Oakland at Denver. My pick: BRONCOS 20-10. Who would have thunk it? But it seems to be true--the Broncos and Brock Osweiler (!) are on a roll.
Dallas at Green Bay. My pick: PACKERS 27-13. The Packers have had their struggles lately. But you have to think Aaron Rodgers will get it done here at home, especially given that the opposing QB is Matt Cassel.
New England at Houston. My pick: PATRIOTS 24-14. New England has struggled lately; but Houston struggles to score, and you have to think Tom Brady will find a way here.
NY Giants at Miami. My pick: GIANTS 26-23. Come on--the Giants just a due to find a way to win a close one. Aren't they????
Wednesday, December 9, 2015
FOR MOEBIUS MOMS AND DADS: HELICOPTER PARENT VS SUPPORTIVE PARENT?
I thought this was a very interesting advice column from today's Washington Post, written by Carolyn Hax. We all as parents want to help our kids, support our kids, and protect them. But at the same time kids have to learn things for themselves and be able to deal with things themselves. So what principles do we use to navigate this difficult area? Read on:
*********************
Dear Carolyn: Common advice is that parents should let kids struggle through issues on their own, thus learning how to manage their friendships, issues, etc. However, there have been tons of letters from adults who say how damaged they are because they didn’t feel their parents protected them.
How does one navigate this? Or should parents simply resign themselves to being despised by their progeny?
It’s navigable, but resignation is a solid Plan B.
Letting kids work things out is for the small(er), one-off problems: arguments with sibs or friends, a dismissive comment from an adult, difficult homework, bumps, bruises and blurps from gorging on candy.
Protecting kids is for the big stuff: bullying by family or friends; a learning issue that makes homework crushing; verbal abuse from an adult; a buddy whose unstable or overindulgent household isn’t a safe place for your kid.
The common denominator is frequency. A child needs to learn how to handle hurt feelings from this or that social incident, for example, but can’t be expected to deal alone with the relentless attack of social aggression. Oopses, step back; oppression, step in.
And hugs in both cases. You don’t have to be cold to encourage resiliency.
You also don’t have to get it right every time. Sometimes you’re going to think it’s big when you’re really just overreacting, and sometimes you’re going to brush it off when it turns out to be something big.
When that happens, you pull out your best parental move of all: Apologize to your kid for getting it wrong. Nothing helps a child find the sweet spot where strength and frailty meet than demonstrating it for them yourself.
****************************************
*********************
Dear Carolyn: Common advice is that parents should let kids struggle through issues on their own, thus learning how to manage their friendships, issues, etc. However, there have been tons of letters from adults who say how damaged they are because they didn’t feel their parents protected them.
How does one navigate this? Or should parents simply resign themselves to being despised by their progeny?
It’s navigable, but resignation is a solid Plan B.
Letting kids work things out is for the small(er), one-off problems: arguments with sibs or friends, a dismissive comment from an adult, difficult homework, bumps, bruises and blurps from gorging on candy.
Protecting kids is for the big stuff: bullying by family or friends; a learning issue that makes homework crushing; verbal abuse from an adult; a buddy whose unstable or overindulgent household isn’t a safe place for your kid.
The common denominator is frequency. A child needs to learn how to handle hurt feelings from this or that social incident, for example, but can’t be expected to deal alone with the relentless attack of social aggression. Oopses, step back; oppression, step in.
And hugs in both cases. You don’t have to be cold to encourage resiliency.
You also don’t have to get it right every time. Sometimes you’re going to think it’s big when you’re really just overreacting, and sometimes you’re going to brush it off when it turns out to be something big.
When that happens, you pull out your best parental move of all: Apologize to your kid for getting it wrong. Nothing helps a child find the sweet spot where strength and frailty meet than demonstrating it for them yourself.
****************************************
Tuesday, December 8, 2015
SOME NEWS FROM AROUND THE NATION
There will be a documentary concerning autism airing soon on PBS:
A documentary focusing on how people with autism experience love and manage romantic relationships is set to appear on PBS.
“Autism in Love” will air on the network’s “Independent Lens” series in January.
The film, which debuted earlier this year at the Tribeca Film Festival, follows four people on the spectrum as they seek out and maintain relationships.
Dave and Lindsey both have autism and are considering marriage after eight years together. By contrast, Lenny lives in Los Angeles with his mother and struggles mightily to meet girls and date. Meanwhile, Stephen – whose autism symptoms are more apparent than the others featured – is coping as his wife of 20 years battles ovarian cancer.
“This film allows us to get to know four remarkable people, who have opened up their lives in such an intimate and deeply personal way in front of the camera,” said Lois Vossen, executive producer of “Independent Lens.”
“Their courage to reveal the struggles and challenges they face allows us to understand and empathize with them,” Vossen said.
“Autism in Love” will air on PBS on Jan. 11 at 10 p.m. ET.
*******************************
Meanwhile, therapeutic horseback-riding for those with disabilities is more than just horse play:
HUNTINGTON BEACH, Calif. – Eddie Brennan is all charged up. The hyper 4-year-old, who has autism, has already charged through a puddle, and writhes as his nanny struggles to remove his shoes and socks.
But when Brennan climbs on the back of Kattie, a dark bay therapy horse, something magical happens.
The kinetic little boy becomes like Jell-O, melting into the horse, contented and somehow soothed. He sits or lays on its back – even rides backward. It’s as if he has a connection to the horse.
For 25 years, the nonprofit Therapeutic Riding Center at the Huntington Beach Central Park Equestrian Center has offered riding therapies to people with special needs ranging from autism to epilepsy.
For much of that time, Donna Brandt, president of the group and the lead instructor, has been at the center of the action. A longtime horsewoman, Brandt became involved after her daughter, Jamie, was diagnosed with severe developmental delay.
Like many parents with children who have challenges, Brandt tried numerous activities and therapies to find one that engaged her child.
“We tried them all. This is the one she liked best,” Brandt said. “She’ll sit around all day and wait to go riding. This is the one that stuck.”
Parents and caretakers are almost unanimous – there’s something about horses. The relationships and bonds the children form with the animals can be transformative.
Katy Prill is all about drama, according to her father, David Gill. The 17-year-old, who has Down syndrome and recently recovered from leukemia, often tries to make big productions out of small things and can act out.
But on this day, she hops right onto Wilma, a big bay, without any histrionics.
“Hey, dad, look at me,” she calls out, waving.
“She’s almost unrecognizable,” Gill, 44, said of his daughter and the progress she has made since becoming involved with therapeutic riding.
On the horse, Prill is focused and confident, two things lacking since her move from Redding, in Northern California, to Huntington Beach four years ago.
“When she came down, this was one of her first activities,” Gill said. “She was very fearful.”
On a warm, dusty day at the Huntington Beach Equestrian Center, parents talked about the self-confidence it gave the children. They feel the experience improves cognitive, physical, emotional and social well-being.
Brandt said people who use wheelchairs can build core strength by riding a horse. It also builds self-confidence. Brandt said something as simple as a change in perspective – looking down from horseback rather than up from a chair – can feel empowering.
Plus, the lessons are conducted outdoors and away from therapy rooms.
“This is one of the therapies (people with disabilities) don’t give up on,” Brandt said. “There’s something about animals.”
Gill said when his daughter plays softball or soccer, it is about the social experience. On a horse she is more purposeful.
“There’s a maturity that comes with it,” he said.
Karen Starky, 54, says the program has been a “savior,” for her daughter, Angie, 28, who has epilepsy. Starky says before her daughter developed the condition, she was a fearless athlete and skier.
Epilepsy took that away. Therapeutic riding is bringing her back.
“When she started, she could barely get on (the horse), she was so weak,” Starky said.
Now Angie rides confidently and mugs for a photographer.
Danielle Stanback, 32, is a volunteer who also has epilepsy but is rebounding. She said the riding is particularly important because it pulls people out of isolation.
At the Therapeutic Riding Center, most of the riders are accompanied by three volunteers, one who leads the horse and two side-walkers, who protect riders from toppling off. Classes are an hour, once a week, Monday through Wednesday and Saturday. Riding is divided into 10-week semesters, which cost $410 per semester. There also are scholarships for those in need.
In addition to classes, Brandt often offers special extras. This year, there was a Halloween horse parade, and she took 30 students to the 2015 Kiwanis Equestrian Competition for Special Athletes at Hansen Dam Equestrian Center in Los Angeles.
Brandt said a film crew from South Korea was scheduled to visit to make a documentary film and possibly create a similar program.
The therapeutic capabilities of working with horses date to ancient Greece. In the 17th century, interaction with horses was prescribed for ailments ranging from gout to low morale. It was not until the 1960s, however, that equine-assisted therapy and hippotherapy was formalized.
Brandt said insurance programs don’t pay for riding as therapy, but she hopes that will change.
“It’s becoming more mainstream. One of these days it will be accepted,” she said. “I encourage everyone to file with their insurance. One of these days …. ”
Karinna Barlow, 42, watches as her 9-year-old son, Leo, is led around the ring. He has a rare genetic defect called agenesis of the corpus callosum that affects the white matter that connects the hemispheres of the brain.
“We were trying so many things that we were overwhelmed with therapies,” Barlow said.
When Leo found horse riding, she described it as something akin to souls communing.
“It’s so good to know there’s always a way for them to participate in the world,” she said. “You realize it’s just in a different way.”
© 2015 The Orange County Register
*****************************
One negative note for today--unfortunately unemployment for those with disabilities appears to be on the rise:
Despite strong job growth last month, new federal data suggests that unemployment among people with disabilities ticked up sharply.
The jobless rate for Americans with disabilities hit 12.1 percent in November, the U.S. Department of Labor said Friday. That’s a steep increase over the 10.5 percent reported the month prior.
The shift comes as figures show fewer people with disabilities were employed and more sought to join the workforce.
At the same time, the economy as a whole added 211,000 jobs and unemployment for the general population remained steady at 5 percent, the Labor Department said. Overall, government data indicates that the number of unemployed Americans has declined by 1.1 million over the last year.
Federal officials began tracking employment among people with disabilities in October 2008. There is not yet enough data compiled to establish seasonal trends among this population, so statistics for this group are not seasonally adjusted.
Data on people with disabilities covers those over the age of 16 who do not live in institutions. The first employment report specific to this population was made available in February 2009. Now, reports are released monthly.
*********************
A documentary focusing on how people with autism experience love and manage romantic relationships is set to appear on PBS.
“Autism in Love” will air on the network’s “Independent Lens” series in January.
The film, which debuted earlier this year at the Tribeca Film Festival, follows four people on the spectrum as they seek out and maintain relationships.
Dave and Lindsey both have autism and are considering marriage after eight years together. By contrast, Lenny lives in Los Angeles with his mother and struggles mightily to meet girls and date. Meanwhile, Stephen – whose autism symptoms are more apparent than the others featured – is coping as his wife of 20 years battles ovarian cancer.
“This film allows us to get to know four remarkable people, who have opened up their lives in such an intimate and deeply personal way in front of the camera,” said Lois Vossen, executive producer of “Independent Lens.”
“Their courage to reveal the struggles and challenges they face allows us to understand and empathize with them,” Vossen said.
“Autism in Love” will air on PBS on Jan. 11 at 10 p.m. ET.
*******************************
Meanwhile, therapeutic horseback-riding for those with disabilities is more than just horse play:
HUNTINGTON BEACH, Calif. – Eddie Brennan is all charged up. The hyper 4-year-old, who has autism, has already charged through a puddle, and writhes as his nanny struggles to remove his shoes and socks.
But when Brennan climbs on the back of Kattie, a dark bay therapy horse, something magical happens.
The kinetic little boy becomes like Jell-O, melting into the horse, contented and somehow soothed. He sits or lays on its back – even rides backward. It’s as if he has a connection to the horse.
For 25 years, the nonprofit Therapeutic Riding Center at the Huntington Beach Central Park Equestrian Center has offered riding therapies to people with special needs ranging from autism to epilepsy.
For much of that time, Donna Brandt, president of the group and the lead instructor, has been at the center of the action. A longtime horsewoman, Brandt became involved after her daughter, Jamie, was diagnosed with severe developmental delay.
Like many parents with children who have challenges, Brandt tried numerous activities and therapies to find one that engaged her child.
“We tried them all. This is the one she liked best,” Brandt said. “She’ll sit around all day and wait to go riding. This is the one that stuck.”
Parents and caretakers are almost unanimous – there’s something about horses. The relationships and bonds the children form with the animals can be transformative.
Katy Prill is all about drama, according to her father, David Gill. The 17-year-old, who has Down syndrome and recently recovered from leukemia, often tries to make big productions out of small things and can act out.
But on this day, she hops right onto Wilma, a big bay, without any histrionics.
“Hey, dad, look at me,” she calls out, waving.
“She’s almost unrecognizable,” Gill, 44, said of his daughter and the progress she has made since becoming involved with therapeutic riding.
On the horse, Prill is focused and confident, two things lacking since her move from Redding, in Northern California, to Huntington Beach four years ago.
“When she came down, this was one of her first activities,” Gill said. “She was very fearful.”
On a warm, dusty day at the Huntington Beach Equestrian Center, parents talked about the self-confidence it gave the children. They feel the experience improves cognitive, physical, emotional and social well-being.
Brandt said people who use wheelchairs can build core strength by riding a horse. It also builds self-confidence. Brandt said something as simple as a change in perspective – looking down from horseback rather than up from a chair – can feel empowering.
Plus, the lessons are conducted outdoors and away from therapy rooms.
“This is one of the therapies (people with disabilities) don’t give up on,” Brandt said. “There’s something about animals.”
Gill said when his daughter plays softball or soccer, it is about the social experience. On a horse she is more purposeful.
“There’s a maturity that comes with it,” he said.
Karen Starky, 54, says the program has been a “savior,” for her daughter, Angie, 28, who has epilepsy. Starky says before her daughter developed the condition, she was a fearless athlete and skier.
Epilepsy took that away. Therapeutic riding is bringing her back.
“When she started, she could barely get on (the horse), she was so weak,” Starky said.
Now Angie rides confidently and mugs for a photographer.
Danielle Stanback, 32, is a volunteer who also has epilepsy but is rebounding. She said the riding is particularly important because it pulls people out of isolation.
At the Therapeutic Riding Center, most of the riders are accompanied by three volunteers, one who leads the horse and two side-walkers, who protect riders from toppling off. Classes are an hour, once a week, Monday through Wednesday and Saturday. Riding is divided into 10-week semesters, which cost $410 per semester. There also are scholarships for those in need.
In addition to classes, Brandt often offers special extras. This year, there was a Halloween horse parade, and she took 30 students to the 2015 Kiwanis Equestrian Competition for Special Athletes at Hansen Dam Equestrian Center in Los Angeles.
Brandt said a film crew from South Korea was scheduled to visit to make a documentary film and possibly create a similar program.
The therapeutic capabilities of working with horses date to ancient Greece. In the 17th century, interaction with horses was prescribed for ailments ranging from gout to low morale. It was not until the 1960s, however, that equine-assisted therapy and hippotherapy was formalized.
Brandt said insurance programs don’t pay for riding as therapy, but she hopes that will change.
“It’s becoming more mainstream. One of these days it will be accepted,” she said. “I encourage everyone to file with their insurance. One of these days …. ”
Karinna Barlow, 42, watches as her 9-year-old son, Leo, is led around the ring. He has a rare genetic defect called agenesis of the corpus callosum that affects the white matter that connects the hemispheres of the brain.
“We were trying so many things that we were overwhelmed with therapies,” Barlow said.
When Leo found horse riding, she described it as something akin to souls communing.
“It’s so good to know there’s always a way for them to participate in the world,” she said. “You realize it’s just in a different way.”
© 2015 The Orange County Register
*****************************
One negative note for today--unfortunately unemployment for those with disabilities appears to be on the rise:
Despite strong job growth last month, new federal data suggests that unemployment among people with disabilities ticked up sharply.
The jobless rate for Americans with disabilities hit 12.1 percent in November, the U.S. Department of Labor said Friday. That’s a steep increase over the 10.5 percent reported the month prior.
The shift comes as figures show fewer people with disabilities were employed and more sought to join the workforce.
At the same time, the economy as a whole added 211,000 jobs and unemployment for the general population remained steady at 5 percent, the Labor Department said. Overall, government data indicates that the number of unemployed Americans has declined by 1.1 million over the last year.
Federal officials began tracking employment among people with disabilities in October 2008. There is not yet enough data compiled to establish seasonal trends among this population, so statistics for this group are not seasonally adjusted.
Data on people with disabilities covers those over the age of 16 who do not live in institutions. The first employment report specific to this population was made available in February 2009. Now, reports are released monthly.
*********************
Monday, December 7, 2015
EXERCISE MAY AID BRAIN'S RE-WIRING
Or so the latest research may indicate. Moebius Syndrome of course has something to do with the brain and how it works. So we're always interested in new brain research. Read on:
********************
********************
Moderate levels of exercise may increase the brain’s flexibility and improve learning, a new study suggests.
The
visual cortex, the part of the brain that processes visual information,
loses the ability to “rewire” itself with age, making it more difficult
for adults to recover from injuries and illness, said Claudia Lunghi, a
neuroscientist at the University of Pisa and one of the study’s
authors.
In
a study in the journal Current Biology, she and her colleagues asked 20
adults to watch a movie with one eye patched while relaxing in a chair.
Later, the participants exercised on a stationary bike for 10-minute
intervals while watching a movie.
When
one eye is patched, the visual cortex compensates for the limited input
by increasing its activity level. Dr. Lunghi and her colleagues tested
the imbalance in strength between the participants’ eyes after the movie
— a measure of changeability in the visual cortex.
**************************
Another reason, I guess, why we all need to exercise...
Saturday, December 5, 2015
FRIDAY FOOTBALL PICKS!!
Yes, that's right, even though I am actually writing them up on a Saturday! :+)
Let's see how I do:
COLLEGE PICKS
Florida vs Alabama. My pick: CRIMSON TIDE. Don't expect much of a game here. The Gators have a hard time even getting a first down, much less scoring.
USC vs Stanford. My pick: CARDINAL. Stanford to get revenge from their defeat at the hands of the Trojans earlier this year. Stanford has real momentum coming out of last week's win vs Notre Dame.
Michigan State vs Iowa. My pick: SPARTANS. I think Iowa has done a remarkable job going undefeated so far. But MSU has played the tougher schedule and is riding high.
North Carolina vs Clemson. My pick: TIGERS. Clemson will have too much speed and firepower.
***************
NFL PICKS
NY Jets vs NY Giants. My pick: JETS 17-10. The Giants can't rush the passer, and can't run the ball consistently. Meaning: trouble.
Arizona at St. Louis. My pick: CARDINALS 20-16. Expect a close game here; this is kind of trap game for the Cards on the road against an apparently inferior team. But expect AZ to pull it out in the end.
Atlanta at Tampa Bay. My pick: FALCONS 23-20. Finally...finally...I see the Falcons stopping their slide. They have too much talent to keep playing so poorly.
Seattle at Minnesota. My pick: VIKINGS 24-20. The Seahawks will load up the box to try and stop Adrian Peterson, but I'm not sure their defense is any longer good enough to do all it is asked to do.
Houston at Buffalo. My pick: TEXANS 19-16. Houston is on a roll; with a supreme effort from their defense (again), they can stay on one.
Baltimore at Miami. My pick: DOLPHINS 24-17. The key here: Joe Flacco for the Ravens is out for the rest of the season.
Cincinnati at Cleveland. My pick: BENGALS 28-10. The Bengals will feast on their in-state rival, who have to start Austin Davis at QB.
Jacksonville at Tennessee. My pick: JAGUARS 24-21. The Jags often are so close, yet so far. This week look for Blake Bortles to make the play they need.
San Francisco at Chicago. My pick: BEARS 21-13. While you weren't looking, the Bears have been playing decent football and are in the thick of the playoff race.
Denver at San Diego. My pick: CHARGERS 27-21. UPSET SPECIAL. Remember--Brock Osweiler remains inexperienced. Philip Rivers meanwhile is not, and this is the kind of game where his pinpoint passing can engineer upsets.
Kansas City at Oakland. My pick: CHIEFS 20-17. The Chiefs to stay on a roll.
Carolina at New Orleans. My pick: PANTHERS 31-10. The Saints are a mess. And don't forget--a key element of the Panthers' success this year is their defense; its toughness was on display last week at Dallas.
Philadelphia at New England. My pick: PATRIOTS 35-13. A breather for the Pats; this Eagles team may be shutting down.
Indianapolis at Pittsburgh. My pick: STEELERS 27-24. Look for the Steelers to prevail here at home vs Matt Hasselbeck, BUT...look for this to be a tight battle. Hasselbeck has played and is playing very well for the Colts.
Dallas at Washington. My pick: REDSKINS 24-17. Kirk Cousins has quietly put together several good games in a row for the 'Skins. Meanwhile--once again the Cowboys must rely on Matt Cassel. Hasn't worked out for them yet...
Let's see how I do:
COLLEGE PICKS
Florida vs Alabama. My pick: CRIMSON TIDE. Don't expect much of a game here. The Gators have a hard time even getting a first down, much less scoring.
USC vs Stanford. My pick: CARDINAL. Stanford to get revenge from their defeat at the hands of the Trojans earlier this year. Stanford has real momentum coming out of last week's win vs Notre Dame.
Michigan State vs Iowa. My pick: SPARTANS. I think Iowa has done a remarkable job going undefeated so far. But MSU has played the tougher schedule and is riding high.
North Carolina vs Clemson. My pick: TIGERS. Clemson will have too much speed and firepower.
***************
NFL PICKS
NY Jets vs NY Giants. My pick: JETS 17-10. The Giants can't rush the passer, and can't run the ball consistently. Meaning: trouble.
Arizona at St. Louis. My pick: CARDINALS 20-16. Expect a close game here; this is kind of trap game for the Cards on the road against an apparently inferior team. But expect AZ to pull it out in the end.
Atlanta at Tampa Bay. My pick: FALCONS 23-20. Finally...finally...I see the Falcons stopping their slide. They have too much talent to keep playing so poorly.
Seattle at Minnesota. My pick: VIKINGS 24-20. The Seahawks will load up the box to try and stop Adrian Peterson, but I'm not sure their defense is any longer good enough to do all it is asked to do.
Houston at Buffalo. My pick: TEXANS 19-16. Houston is on a roll; with a supreme effort from their defense (again), they can stay on one.
Baltimore at Miami. My pick: DOLPHINS 24-17. The key here: Joe Flacco for the Ravens is out for the rest of the season.
Cincinnati at Cleveland. My pick: BENGALS 28-10. The Bengals will feast on their in-state rival, who have to start Austin Davis at QB.
Jacksonville at Tennessee. My pick: JAGUARS 24-21. The Jags often are so close, yet so far. This week look for Blake Bortles to make the play they need.
San Francisco at Chicago. My pick: BEARS 21-13. While you weren't looking, the Bears have been playing decent football and are in the thick of the playoff race.
Denver at San Diego. My pick: CHARGERS 27-21. UPSET SPECIAL. Remember--Brock Osweiler remains inexperienced. Philip Rivers meanwhile is not, and this is the kind of game where his pinpoint passing can engineer upsets.
Kansas City at Oakland. My pick: CHIEFS 20-17. The Chiefs to stay on a roll.
Carolina at New Orleans. My pick: PANTHERS 31-10. The Saints are a mess. And don't forget--a key element of the Panthers' success this year is their defense; its toughness was on display last week at Dallas.
Philadelphia at New England. My pick: PATRIOTS 35-13. A breather for the Pats; this Eagles team may be shutting down.
Indianapolis at Pittsburgh. My pick: STEELERS 27-24. Look for the Steelers to prevail here at home vs Matt Hasselbeck, BUT...look for this to be a tight battle. Hasselbeck has played and is playing very well for the Colts.
Dallas at Washington. My pick: REDSKINS 24-17. Kirk Cousins has quietly put together several good games in a row for the 'Skins. Meanwhile--once again the Cowboys must rely on Matt Cassel. Hasn't worked out for them yet...
Wednesday, December 2, 2015
FOR MOMS AND DADS: LEARNING FROM--AND LEARNING TO LAUGH AT--FAILURE
I just thought this was a really interesting and well-written piece, and something to learn from both for Moebius moms and dads, and for all moms and dads. What happens if your child fails at something? It doesn't have to be all bad--read on:
*************************
Failures in our house generate more laughs than lessons.
Like the time my three daughters and I attempted to make cheese on the stovetop. Or when our youngest thought she could cut her own bangs. Or last Thanksgiving when I assumed it was safe to cool a pot of boiled brine in the snow directly outside our side door (I failed to cool the brine and succeeded only in giving my husband second degree burns on his foot).
But when a failure functions as a hard lesson, it’s decidedly less funny. Especially when the failure is your child’s first. And when you’re there to witness it. Because those moments are pure heartbreak. For both of you.
Last month, our introverted but drama-loving 11-year-old ran into the house from school, excited and breathless. “Mom! My drama club audition is on Saturday, October 3 at 11:30. Can you put it on the calendar?” She ran upstairs, monologue in hand, and I dutifully entered the time and day into my phone and set the alert: Saturday. October 3. 11:30 am. I recalled skimming the parent packet for drama club. One rule was clear: show up late for your audition and forfeit your chance of being in the club.
In the week before the audition, she reminded me daily: “Mom, don’t forget, my audition is this Saturday at 11:30.” I assured her I was on it and she practiced her monologue – a lot. Finally, Saturday came. We pulled up at school at 11:18 and I walked her inside. A teacher sat at the check-in.
“What’s your name, hon?” she asked. My daughter answered and the teacher flipped the pages of the sign-in sheet, scanning each signed line. “Hmmmm…,” she stopped. “Looks like you missed your audition. You were supposed to go at 11.”
The color drained from my daughter’s face. “But I signed up for 11:30,” she insisted, voice low and confused.
“Nope,” the teacher said, holding up the sign-up sheet and pointing to the last line on the page. “See? 11 to 11:15.” I read the line and recognized the handwriting. My daughter’s shoulders sank.
Wanting to come to my daughter’s defense, I asked if she could audition later. “Sorry, that’s it,” the teacher said, frowning and shaking her head. Nodding in understanding, my daughter whispered, “It’s fine.” She knew the rule and so did I.
We turned and walked down the long hallway toward the parking lot. She climbed into the car and slammed the door. “I thought I signed up for 11:30!” she sobbed. “I’m so stupid!” Her words stung.
There’s not a whole lot for parents to say in times like these. We can’t say, “It’s okay,” because it’s so clearly not. We can’t make a bad guy out of the messenger. We can’t scold – our children are already beating themselves up. But most of all, we can’t say, “Just let it go,” because frankly, they shouldn’t.
As hard as it was to watch my daughter – a kind, quiet, all-around good girl – so angry with herself, I knew that distracting her too soon would be counterproductive to the opportunity her failure provided. So I let her cry in her room for a while. I told her making a mistake didn’t make her stupid. It made her human. And then, to reach out, I told her a story.
I told her about my interview with the Associated Press, just months after graduating with my degree in journalism. I drove two hours to the interview, took the writing test and triple checked it for errors. The editor reviewed my test and frowned. “Your writing is good, but you had a typo. You misspelled ‘occurred’,” he said, before adding, “in your lead.” I was humiliated. My error was a complete oversight, but there was no way around it. I had been careless. I cried most of the drive back home, knowing that I’d blown my one chance to write for the AP.
“It feels like you blew it and it might for a while,” I told her. “But this won’t be your last chance to act ever.”
Turns out, she didn’t have to wait too long for the next one. Three hours after the missed audition, the director called to say that he’d love for her to come back that afternoon, if she was willing.
Of course, I knew she would be, but was I? Would giving her the opportunity to right a wrong so soon diminish the value of what she’d learned? I struggled for a moment. The thing was, the director wasn’t asking me. He was asking her.
So she auditioned.
And as we drove away from school – this time, under considerably better circumstances – I wondered out loud about the start date of an upcoming volleyball clinic. “Um, Mom? Can you double check when it starts?” she asked. “I don’t want to miss anything ever again.”
I chuckled. But this time, I wasn’t laughing at a failure. I laughed at success.
Jennifer Kuhel is a writer who lives in Shaker Heights, Ohio.
********************************
*************************
Failures in our house generate more laughs than lessons.
Like the time my three daughters and I attempted to make cheese on the stovetop. Or when our youngest thought she could cut her own bangs. Or last Thanksgiving when I assumed it was safe to cool a pot of boiled brine in the snow directly outside our side door (I failed to cool the brine and succeeded only in giving my husband second degree burns on his foot).
But when a failure functions as a hard lesson, it’s decidedly less funny. Especially when the failure is your child’s first. And when you’re there to witness it. Because those moments are pure heartbreak. For both of you.
Last month, our introverted but drama-loving 11-year-old ran into the house from school, excited and breathless. “Mom! My drama club audition is on Saturday, October 3 at 11:30. Can you put it on the calendar?” She ran upstairs, monologue in hand, and I dutifully entered the time and day into my phone and set the alert: Saturday. October 3. 11:30 am. I recalled skimming the parent packet for drama club. One rule was clear: show up late for your audition and forfeit your chance of being in the club.
In the week before the audition, she reminded me daily: “Mom, don’t forget, my audition is this Saturday at 11:30.” I assured her I was on it and she practiced her monologue – a lot. Finally, Saturday came. We pulled up at school at 11:18 and I walked her inside. A teacher sat at the check-in.
“What’s your name, hon?” she asked. My daughter answered and the teacher flipped the pages of the sign-in sheet, scanning each signed line. “Hmmmm…,” she stopped. “Looks like you missed your audition. You were supposed to go at 11.”
The color drained from my daughter’s face. “But I signed up for 11:30,” she insisted, voice low and confused.
“Nope,” the teacher said, holding up the sign-up sheet and pointing to the last line on the page. “See? 11 to 11:15.” I read the line and recognized the handwriting. My daughter’s shoulders sank.
Wanting to come to my daughter’s defense, I asked if she could audition later. “Sorry, that’s it,” the teacher said, frowning and shaking her head. Nodding in understanding, my daughter whispered, “It’s fine.” She knew the rule and so did I.
We turned and walked down the long hallway toward the parking lot. She climbed into the car and slammed the door. “I thought I signed up for 11:30!” she sobbed. “I’m so stupid!” Her words stung.
There’s not a whole lot for parents to say in times like these. We can’t say, “It’s okay,” because it’s so clearly not. We can’t make a bad guy out of the messenger. We can’t scold – our children are already beating themselves up. But most of all, we can’t say, “Just let it go,” because frankly, they shouldn’t.
As hard as it was to watch my daughter – a kind, quiet, all-around good girl – so angry with herself, I knew that distracting her too soon would be counterproductive to the opportunity her failure provided. So I let her cry in her room for a while. I told her making a mistake didn’t make her stupid. It made her human. And then, to reach out, I told her a story.
I told her about my interview with the Associated Press, just months after graduating with my degree in journalism. I drove two hours to the interview, took the writing test and triple checked it for errors. The editor reviewed my test and frowned. “Your writing is good, but you had a typo. You misspelled ‘occurred’,” he said, before adding, “in your lead.” I was humiliated. My error was a complete oversight, but there was no way around it. I had been careless. I cried most of the drive back home, knowing that I’d blown my one chance to write for the AP.
“It feels like you blew it and it might for a while,” I told her. “But this won’t be your last chance to act ever.”
Turns out, she didn’t have to wait too long for the next one. Three hours after the missed audition, the director called to say that he’d love for her to come back that afternoon, if she was willing.
Of course, I knew she would be, but was I? Would giving her the opportunity to right a wrong so soon diminish the value of what she’d learned? I struggled for a moment. The thing was, the director wasn’t asking me. He was asking her.
So she auditioned.
And as we drove away from school – this time, under considerably better circumstances – I wondered out loud about the start date of an upcoming volleyball clinic. “Um, Mom? Can you double check when it starts?” she asked. “I don’t want to miss anything ever again.”
I chuckled. But this time, I wasn’t laughing at a failure. I laughed at success.
Jennifer Kuhel is a writer who lives in Shaker Heights, Ohio.
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Monday, November 30, 2015
AWARENESS UPDATE: ARE COLLEGE DISABILITY SERVICES SUFFICIENTLY TRANSPARENT?
If you're a college student or soon to be one with Moebius, or if you're a parent with such a child, read on:
**********************
Amid concerns from advocates, a U.S. senator is calling on federal education officials to make information about disability services at the nation’s colleges more readily available.
In a letter this week, U.S. Sen. Bob Casey, D-Pa., asked the U.S. Department of Education to offer better guidance for those with disabilities and their families as they investigate postsecondary education options.
“As colleges admit greater numbers of students with disabilities … it is vital these students have transparent disability services information,” Casey wrote in the letter addressed to Secretary of Education Arne Duncan and John King, who is slated to take over Duncan’s job later this year.Sixty percent of students with disabilities pursue postsecondary education within eight years of high school, according to a 2011 federal report. But, just 40 percent of these students complete college programs compared to 52 percent of students without disabilities.
Advocates say that a lack of information is partly to blame. While all schools are obligated to provide a minimum-level of assistance to students with disabilities, some colleges and universities do more than others to highlight their offerings, according to Lindsay Jones, vice president of policy and advocacy at the National Center for Learning Disabilities.
“We’ve received increasing parent concerns about the transition to college,” Jones said, adding that families are struggling to find answers to basic questions like what services are available and what type of documentation they will need in order to request assistance.
“The reality is that it’s uncharted territory because most people at colleges and universities are unprepared for people with disabilities to attend,” she said.
Simple steps like collecting more data about the disability services offered on college campuses and making it easier for students and their families to learn about such offerings would go a long way, Casey said.
In particular, the senator recommended that the Department of Education move to make questions about disability services mandatory on questionnaires sent to colleges and universities and add a special search option on the agency’s College Navigator website so that students with disabilities can find relevant information.
Casey also cited the Obama administration’s College Scorecard, a nearly 2-year-old website allowing families to compare colleges and universities based on cost, size, location and graduation rate, among other factors. Currently, however, he indicated the scorecard offers no information about disability services on campuses.
Recently announced plans to create a National Center for Information and Technical Support for Postsecondary Students With Disabilities are a step in the right direction, Casey said.
“These small yet significant changes will clarify to the thousands of students with disabilities graduating high school each year and their families that disability support services are available and that college is a place they can succeed,” Casey wrote.
A spokesman for the Education Department said the agency had receive Casey’s letter and would be responding.
*************************
**********************
Amid concerns from advocates, a U.S. senator is calling on federal education officials to make information about disability services at the nation’s colleges more readily available.
In a letter this week, U.S. Sen. Bob Casey, D-Pa., asked the U.S. Department of Education to offer better guidance for those with disabilities and their families as they investigate postsecondary education options.
“As colleges admit greater numbers of students with disabilities … it is vital these students have transparent disability services information,” Casey wrote in the letter addressed to Secretary of Education Arne Duncan and John King, who is slated to take over Duncan’s job later this year.Sixty percent of students with disabilities pursue postsecondary education within eight years of high school, according to a 2011 federal report. But, just 40 percent of these students complete college programs compared to 52 percent of students without disabilities.
Advocates say that a lack of information is partly to blame. While all schools are obligated to provide a minimum-level of assistance to students with disabilities, some colleges and universities do more than others to highlight their offerings, according to Lindsay Jones, vice president of policy and advocacy at the National Center for Learning Disabilities.
“We’ve received increasing parent concerns about the transition to college,” Jones said, adding that families are struggling to find answers to basic questions like what services are available and what type of documentation they will need in order to request assistance.
“The reality is that it’s uncharted territory because most people at colleges and universities are unprepared for people with disabilities to attend,” she said.
Simple steps like collecting more data about the disability services offered on college campuses and making it easier for students and their families to learn about such offerings would go a long way, Casey said.
In particular, the senator recommended that the Department of Education move to make questions about disability services mandatory on questionnaires sent to colleges and universities and add a special search option on the agency’s College Navigator website so that students with disabilities can find relevant information.
Casey also cited the Obama administration’s College Scorecard, a nearly 2-year-old website allowing families to compare colleges and universities based on cost, size, location and graduation rate, among other factors. Currently, however, he indicated the scorecard offers no information about disability services on campuses.
Recently announced plans to create a National Center for Information and Technical Support for Postsecondary Students With Disabilities are a step in the right direction, Casey said.
“These small yet significant changes will clarify to the thousands of students with disabilities graduating high school each year and their families that disability support services are available and that college is a place they can succeed,” Casey wrote.
A spokesman for the Education Department said the agency had receive Casey’s letter and would be responding.
*************************
Friday, November 20, 2015
FRIDAY FOOTBALL PICKS!
Last week's record--horrible! 5-9.
I am now 98-60 on the year. Time for a rebound!
COLLEGE PICKS
Michigan State at Ohio State. My pick: BUCKEYES. Ohio State despite being a unanimous #1 pick all year has struggled at time. MSU meanwhile is 9-1. Upset? Well, but--Connor Cook is beat up, that Spartan defense just isn't what it has been in seasons past, and the Buckeyes still have a lot of weapons. Advantage: OSU.
Baylor at Oklahoma State. My pick: COWBOYS. Okie State had their trap game last week at Iowa State. It almost got them. But--they somehow got through it, and now are back home where they have played very well. Meanwhile for Baylor--I think their problem is not so much their QB; Stidham has played well. It's instead their defense, which has holes. Oklahoma State to remain unbeaten.
TCU at Oklahoma. My pick: SOONERS. I suspect this game might be closer than people think; I bet that somehow Trevone Boykin will play, plus OU is coming off a big win at Baylor, with now questions over whether Boykin will play and everyone assuming the Sooners will win this one...that can make you prime for a letdown. But--I expect Oklahoma will in the end survive this one; they have been playing very well.
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NFL PICKS
Oakland at Detroit. My pick: RAIDERS 20-16. No, clearly the Lions haven't quit; last week's win at Green Bay showed that. But they still have massive O-line problems, and Oakland has some good offensive weapons.
Indianapolis at Atlanta. My pick: FALCONS 24-10. I know Atlanta has struggled, Indy must again start Matt Hasselbeck, and he is undefeated as a starter. But...ya gotta think Hasselbeck's luck may run out, and at some point the Falcons will get untracked. Probably this week.
NY Jets at Houston. My pick: JETS 13-10. The Texans' defense has some fight; last week in Cincinnati showed that. But Todd Bowles' Jets D can make it really tough on QBs, and I expect that to happen this week. Look for the Jets to force several turnovers.
Tampa Bay at Philadelphia. My pick: EAGLES 21-9. I know the Bucs won last week. But they struggled to score and still made many mistakes. Mark Sanchez isn't that bad; he'll help Philly get this one at home.
Denver at Chicago. My pick: BRONCOS 17-10. The Bears on last week, the Broncos meanwhile suffered an embarrassing loss and Peyton Manning is banged up. I suspect we'll see Brock Osweiler. So why not the Bears? But--they have been an inconsistent team, especially at home, and look for the Broncos defense to play well here, while Osweiler manages the game.
St. Louis at Baltimore. My pick: RAVENS 23-20. Who can figure either of these teams out--especially the Rams, who suffered a horrible loss at home last week against the mediocre Bears? Gotta go with the Ravens here at home, simply because, well, they still have Joe Flacco and...they're due.
Dallas at Miami. My pick: COWBOYS 27-21. Tony Romo is back; but this is still a tough one to pick, as he might be rusty, Miami's defense is playing better and can force turnovers, etc. My guess--Romo will give the Cowboys the jolt they need.
Washington at Carolina. My pick: PANTHERS 30-17. When will people begin to believe in the undefeated Panthers? Maybe after this week, as they win again.
Kansas City at San Diego. My pick: CHIEFS 24-21. The Chargers' injuries on defense and inconsistency on offense will again hurt them here, I suspect, as the somewhat-rejuvenated Chiefs stay on a roll.
Green Bay at Minnesota. My pick: VIKINGS 23-17. One of the biggest stats from Green Bay's loss at home to Detroit last week was this: RB James Starks was held to only 42 yards rushing. The Pack's offense is badly out of sync. That's not good news against a Viking defense that has been stingy all year; and Adrian Peterson now has 4 consecutive 100 yard rushing games. The Pack is in trouble.
San Francisco at Seattle. My pick: SEAHAWKS 21-7. A chance for the Seahawks to at least for one week right the ship--they should do so, as they've dominated the Niners for a while now.
Cincinnati at Arizona. My pick: CARDINALS 28-20. Are people ready to admit? The Arizona Cardinals have a good team; surely last week's win at Seattle proved that. Meanwhile the Bengals have probably lost their mojo a bit after last week's bewildering loss at home to Houston; now they must play a tough road game. Look for AZ to keep it going.
Buffalo at New England. My pick: PATRIOTS 31-17. When will the Patriots finally lose a game this year? Their consistency is amazing, and it starts with Brady. He's playing Monday night, right? Yes? Then the Pats' first loss won't happen here.
I am now 98-60 on the year. Time for a rebound!
COLLEGE PICKS
Michigan State at Ohio State. My pick: BUCKEYES. Ohio State despite being a unanimous #1 pick all year has struggled at time. MSU meanwhile is 9-1. Upset? Well, but--Connor Cook is beat up, that Spartan defense just isn't what it has been in seasons past, and the Buckeyes still have a lot of weapons. Advantage: OSU.
Baylor at Oklahoma State. My pick: COWBOYS. Okie State had their trap game last week at Iowa State. It almost got them. But--they somehow got through it, and now are back home where they have played very well. Meanwhile for Baylor--I think their problem is not so much their QB; Stidham has played well. It's instead their defense, which has holes. Oklahoma State to remain unbeaten.
TCU at Oklahoma. My pick: SOONERS. I suspect this game might be closer than people think; I bet that somehow Trevone Boykin will play, plus OU is coming off a big win at Baylor, with now questions over whether Boykin will play and everyone assuming the Sooners will win this one...that can make you prime for a letdown. But--I expect Oklahoma will in the end survive this one; they have been playing very well.
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NFL PICKS
Oakland at Detroit. My pick: RAIDERS 20-16. No, clearly the Lions haven't quit; last week's win at Green Bay showed that. But they still have massive O-line problems, and Oakland has some good offensive weapons.
Indianapolis at Atlanta. My pick: FALCONS 24-10. I know Atlanta has struggled, Indy must again start Matt Hasselbeck, and he is undefeated as a starter. But...ya gotta think Hasselbeck's luck may run out, and at some point the Falcons will get untracked. Probably this week.
NY Jets at Houston. My pick: JETS 13-10. The Texans' defense has some fight; last week in Cincinnati showed that. But Todd Bowles' Jets D can make it really tough on QBs, and I expect that to happen this week. Look for the Jets to force several turnovers.
Tampa Bay at Philadelphia. My pick: EAGLES 21-9. I know the Bucs won last week. But they struggled to score and still made many mistakes. Mark Sanchez isn't that bad; he'll help Philly get this one at home.
Denver at Chicago. My pick: BRONCOS 17-10. The Bears on last week, the Broncos meanwhile suffered an embarrassing loss and Peyton Manning is banged up. I suspect we'll see Brock Osweiler. So why not the Bears? But--they have been an inconsistent team, especially at home, and look for the Broncos defense to play well here, while Osweiler manages the game.
St. Louis at Baltimore. My pick: RAVENS 23-20. Who can figure either of these teams out--especially the Rams, who suffered a horrible loss at home last week against the mediocre Bears? Gotta go with the Ravens here at home, simply because, well, they still have Joe Flacco and...they're due.
Dallas at Miami. My pick: COWBOYS 27-21. Tony Romo is back; but this is still a tough one to pick, as he might be rusty, Miami's defense is playing better and can force turnovers, etc. My guess--Romo will give the Cowboys the jolt they need.
Washington at Carolina. My pick: PANTHERS 30-17. When will people begin to believe in the undefeated Panthers? Maybe after this week, as they win again.
Kansas City at San Diego. My pick: CHIEFS 24-21. The Chargers' injuries on defense and inconsistency on offense will again hurt them here, I suspect, as the somewhat-rejuvenated Chiefs stay on a roll.
Green Bay at Minnesota. My pick: VIKINGS 23-17. One of the biggest stats from Green Bay's loss at home to Detroit last week was this: RB James Starks was held to only 42 yards rushing. The Pack's offense is badly out of sync. That's not good news against a Viking defense that has been stingy all year; and Adrian Peterson now has 4 consecutive 100 yard rushing games. The Pack is in trouble.
San Francisco at Seattle. My pick: SEAHAWKS 21-7. A chance for the Seahawks to at least for one week right the ship--they should do so, as they've dominated the Niners for a while now.
Cincinnati at Arizona. My pick: CARDINALS 28-20. Are people ready to admit? The Arizona Cardinals have a good team; surely last week's win at Seattle proved that. Meanwhile the Bengals have probably lost their mojo a bit after last week's bewildering loss at home to Houston; now they must play a tough road game. Look for AZ to keep it going.
Buffalo at New England. My pick: PATRIOTS 31-17. When will the Patriots finally lose a game this year? Their consistency is amazing, and it starts with Brady. He's playing Monday night, right? Yes? Then the Pats' first loss won't happen here.
Wednesday, November 18, 2015
FOR MOEBIUS MOMS AND DADS, AND ALL PARENTS: HOW TO DEAL WITH THE GUILT
I think all parents feel like they ought to do more with their kids, and yet...we're tired, we have to go to work, etc. Yet the guilt remains. I imagine this could be especially acute for Moebius moms and dads, who have a child who might have special needs and attention...and yet, there too, you have to work and make a living. Yet the guilt remains. Below is a piece that is not specifically about parents of children with special needs; yet, still, gets at the issue well. Read on:
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Question: What do you make of guilt? I realize I have to work, but I still feel that tug when the 4-year-old is begging me to stay somewhere with her or asking me to be there at school pickup time. Or sometimes I have to travel. How do others deal with the guilt of doing things because we have to (or, frankly, because we like to do them), without the kids? I know this is an age-old problem. And woe is us, right? I mean, our grandparents had to work in the Depression, and they weren’t sitting around feeling sorry for themselves because they had to go to work. I guess what I’m asking is: How do we deal with that pull to be with our kids but also needing to be at work?
And because it can take humans a long time to adapt to a change or invention, it is easy to spot our failings, shortcomings and struggles when it comes to work/life balance. When I say “our failings,” I am referring society as a whole. From inadequate paid-leave laws and missed signs of loneliness and depression in new parents to the new parents who burn the candle at both ends and don’t have the supports in place to catch them when they fall.
As we try to adapt to our working culture, parenting is difficult all on its own. When you add the stresses of career, day care, school schedules, typical childhood illnesses, complex schedules, marriage and the grind of everyday life? Well, how can you not feel guilty? Something must be sacrificed. It is an untenable system. Period. This is where the guilt comes in.
I like Merriam-Webster’s definition of guilt: “Responsibility for a crime or for doing something bad or wrong; a bad feeling caused by knowing or thinking that you have done something bad or wrong.”
This is a useful definition because it provides a very clear way to think about your own emotional life. Are you responsible for doing something wrong or bad? Are you breaking a law? Of course not. Yet, the “something” wrong or bad may be that you are going against a conviction, a principle that you hold dear.
Even though Americans are somewhat obsessed with living “guilt-free,” guilt is an amazingly clear and helpful emotion when you are living in opposition to your values.
So, I am asking you this: Do your life and how you are raising your family reflect your values?
I know that is a loaded question. Let’s face it: Balance is elusive, and it’s day-to-day.
But if you look at the bigger picture, does the trajectory feel good? Do you think, “Hmm, yes, this is okay. I like what I am seeing here.” Or do you feel defeated? Angry? Depressed? Pay attention to those feelings. I am not suggesting you blow up your career or make sweeping changes, but you should have some important conversations with people in your life and think about how you are living.
The second definition, “a bad feeling caused by knowing or thinking that you have done something bad or wrong,” is also interesting.
The operative word in this definition is “thinking.” You think you should feel bad. You think you may be doing something wrong. You think that you are not in line with your values, and so guilt pops up.
This guilt needs to be challenged differently. Although it does affect fathers, I see a strong case of the “shoulds” impacting mostly mothers. Why? There are a variety of reasons (and you should read Brigid Schulte’s “Overwhelmed” to learn more about this), but essentially, “women in the workplace” is a new development, historically speaking. Women are largely expected to do everything a stay-at-home mother was doing and bring home the bacon. All while smiling. Simply put: Mothers haven’t found our footing in the work/family life. We need our cultural and political systems to help us more, but we also need to be kinder to ourselves. Much kinder.
Of course we are pulled to be with our children. We are biologically wired to want to be close to our children, and they to us. This is how our species keeps going. And children are also biologically programmed to be able to withstand periods of emotional and physical distance, but this works only if the relationship is strong enough to bear the separation. What does this mean? The stronger the connection, plus the older the child, equals the child’s (and the parent’s) ability to be apart.
What do you do from here? First of all, stop piling on with the Great Depression stories. It takes no effort to find people who are suffering 10 times more than you are. All you are doing is finding a way to shame yourself for your feelings, so stop that. You are being unkind to you, and that is not okay.
Next, find a mothers group, a church group, a therapist, a coach (anyone compassionate and loving and challenging). This will help you talk out your feelings and look at your guilt, rather just be a reactive victim of it.
******************************
*************************
Question: What do you make of guilt? I realize I have to work, but I still feel that tug when the 4-year-old is begging me to stay somewhere with her or asking me to be there at school pickup time. Or sometimes I have to travel. How do others deal with the guilt of doing things because we have to (or, frankly, because we like to do them), without the kids? I know this is an age-old problem. And woe is us, right? I mean, our grandparents had to work in the Depression, and they weren’t sitting around feeling sorry for themselves because they had to go to work. I guess what I’m asking is: How do we deal with that pull to be with our kids but also needing to be at work?
A You have a couple of
questions here and, believe me, if I knew a simple way to alleviate
guilt in working parents, you would have already heard about it and I
would be a very rich woman.
First off, this is tough because
two-working-parent homes are pretty new in American culture. We have
very little to model when it comes to working and not feeling guilty,
and that tug between work time and family time. And because it can take humans a long time to adapt to a change or invention, it is easy to spot our failings, shortcomings and struggles when it comes to work/life balance. When I say “our failings,” I am referring society as a whole. From inadequate paid-leave laws and missed signs of loneliness and depression in new parents to the new parents who burn the candle at both ends and don’t have the supports in place to catch them when they fall.
As we try to adapt to our working culture, parenting is difficult all on its own. When you add the stresses of career, day care, school schedules, typical childhood illnesses, complex schedules, marriage and the grind of everyday life? Well, how can you not feel guilty? Something must be sacrificed. It is an untenable system. Period. This is where the guilt comes in.
I like Merriam-Webster’s definition of guilt: “Responsibility for a crime or for doing something bad or wrong; a bad feeling caused by knowing or thinking that you have done something bad or wrong.”
This is a useful definition because it provides a very clear way to think about your own emotional life. Are you responsible for doing something wrong or bad? Are you breaking a law? Of course not. Yet, the “something” wrong or bad may be that you are going against a conviction, a principle that you hold dear.
Even though Americans are somewhat obsessed with living “guilt-free,” guilt is an amazingly clear and helpful emotion when you are living in opposition to your values.
So, I am asking you this: Do your life and how you are raising your family reflect your values?
I know that is a loaded question. Let’s face it: Balance is elusive, and it’s day-to-day.
But if you look at the bigger picture, does the trajectory feel good? Do you think, “Hmm, yes, this is okay. I like what I am seeing here.” Or do you feel defeated? Angry? Depressed? Pay attention to those feelings. I am not suggesting you blow up your career or make sweeping changes, but you should have some important conversations with people in your life and think about how you are living.
The second definition, “a bad feeling caused by knowing or thinking that you have done something bad or wrong,” is also interesting.
The operative word in this definition is “thinking.” You think you should feel bad. You think you may be doing something wrong. You think that you are not in line with your values, and so guilt pops up.
This guilt needs to be challenged differently. Although it does affect fathers, I see a strong case of the “shoulds” impacting mostly mothers. Why? There are a variety of reasons (and you should read Brigid Schulte’s “Overwhelmed” to learn more about this), but essentially, “women in the workplace” is a new development, historically speaking. Women are largely expected to do everything a stay-at-home mother was doing and bring home the bacon. All while smiling. Simply put: Mothers haven’t found our footing in the work/family life. We need our cultural and political systems to help us more, but we also need to be kinder to ourselves. Much kinder.
Of course we are pulled to be with our children. We are biologically wired to want to be close to our children, and they to us. This is how our species keeps going. And children are also biologically programmed to be able to withstand periods of emotional and physical distance, but this works only if the relationship is strong enough to bear the separation. What does this mean? The stronger the connection, plus the older the child, equals the child’s (and the parent’s) ability to be apart.
What do you do from here? First of all, stop piling on with the Great Depression stories. It takes no effort to find people who are suffering 10 times more than you are. All you are doing is finding a way to shame yourself for your feelings, so stop that. You are being unkind to you, and that is not okay.
Next, find a mothers group, a church group, a therapist, a coach (anyone compassionate and loving and challenging). This will help you talk out your feelings and look at your guilt, rather just be a reactive victim of it.
Finally,
look at the connection with your 4-year-old. Even if you work (and love
it) and even if you are busy, there is always time to connect with your
child. Have an honest conversation with yourself about your
connections, and then make a plan for more time. More time snuggling,
more time playing, more time laughing, more time doing what 4-year-old
children like to do. If you stay in the place of worry and despair and
shame, your guilt will take over and lead you to believe you have no
choice.
You are asking the right questions. Keep going.******************************
Monday, November 16, 2015
AWARENESS WATCH: A WATER PARK FOR THOSE WITH SPECIAL NEEDS
Read more about it:
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Text Size A A
Five years after establishing the world’s first fully-accessible
theme park, construction is underway on a water park where every
attraction promises to be disability-friendly.
Morgan’s Wonderland, located in San Antonio, said this week that it is expanding with a water park.
The new offering called Morgan’s Inspiration Island is expected to open in the spring of 2017. It will include five water attractions, all of which will be fully wheelchair accessible, officials said.
“In many ways, creating Morgan’s Inspiration Island feels a lot like it did when our team designed and built Morgan’s Wonderland with special-needs individuals in mind — it’s never been done before,” said Gordon Hartman, the philanthropist behind the parks.
Hartman opened Morgan’s Wonderland in 2010, inspired by his daughter, Morgan, 22, who has cognitive and physical challenges. The existing 25-acre park includes more than two-dozen wheelchair-accessible offerings ranging from rides to playgrounds and gardens.
To design the new tropical-themed paradise, Hartman said his team consulted with water park experts across multiple states as well as doctors and therapists.
The park plans to offer waterproof wheelchairs for guests and some areas will include heated water for individuals sensitive to cold. Waterproof wristbands with tracking technology will also be available so that parents can locate their children at the facility.
Attractions will include a boat ride through a jungle setting complete with animal sounds as well as rain trees, waterfalls, pools, geysers, jets, water cannons and tipping buckets.
Construction costs for the four-acre water park are estimated at $12 million.
Since its opening, Morgan’s Wonderland has attracted over 500,000 visitors from across the United States and around the globe, park officials said.
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Text Size A A
Morgan’s
Wonderland in San Antonio is adding a multimillion-dollar water park
that’s expected to open in 2017. (Morgan’s Wonderland)
Morgan’s Wonderland, located in San Antonio, said this week that it is expanding with a water park.
The new offering called Morgan’s Inspiration Island is expected to open in the spring of 2017. It will include five water attractions, all of which will be fully wheelchair accessible, officials said.
“In many ways, creating Morgan’s Inspiration Island feels a lot like it did when our team designed and built Morgan’s Wonderland with special-needs individuals in mind — it’s never been done before,” said Gordon Hartman, the philanthropist behind the parks.
Hartman opened Morgan’s Wonderland in 2010, inspired by his daughter, Morgan, 22, who has cognitive and physical challenges. The existing 25-acre park includes more than two-dozen wheelchair-accessible offerings ranging from rides to playgrounds and gardens.
To design the new tropical-themed paradise, Hartman said his team consulted with water park experts across multiple states as well as doctors and therapists.
The park plans to offer waterproof wheelchairs for guests and some areas will include heated water for individuals sensitive to cold. Waterproof wristbands with tracking technology will also be available so that parents can locate their children at the facility.
Attractions will include a boat ride through a jungle setting complete with animal sounds as well as rain trees, waterfalls, pools, geysers, jets, water cannons and tipping buckets.
Construction costs for the four-acre water park are estimated at $12 million.
Since its opening, Morgan’s Wonderland has attracted over 500,000 visitors from across the United States and around the globe, park officials said.
*****************************
Friday, November 13, 2015
FRIDAY FOOTBALL PICKS TIME!!
Last week I went 11-5...
For the year I am now 93-51. Not bad!
Here we go:
COLLEGE PICK
I will just pick one college game this week, but it's a big one:
Oklahoma at Baylor. My pick: SOONERS. Yes, I know--Baylor is about a 2 point favorite, and they are at home. But: Oklahoma is on a roll; they've won several games in a row and looked impressive in each one of them. And Baylor is after all having to play their backup QB; he looked all right in his first game but this is big, big test, and I just don't see Baylor being the same team they were before their starter got hurt. Advantage: Sooners.
*********************
NFL PICKS
Detroit at Green Bay. My pick: PACKERS 30-14. The Pack has a breather, and can use it to fix some of their problems.
Dallas at Tampa Bay. My pick: COWBOYS 23-21. Because probably the Cowboys are just due to find a way to win one; and probably this time it will be the young Bucs making mistakes, more so than the 'Boys.
Carolina at Tennessee. My pick: PANTHERS 26-20. I don't expect this to be a blowout, despite Carolina's undefeated record; the Panthers are coming off a big home win vs Green Bay, and now go on the road to face a losing team. Lack of focus is a possibility. But I expect Cam Newton will find a way to win this one in the end.
Chicago at St. Louis. My pick: RAMS 27-14. The Bears have a ton of injuries; and the Rams' defense should for the most part hold them in check.
New Orleans at Washington. My pick: SAINTS 27-24. What can you say about either of these teams? You're never quite sure who will show up. The Saints blew a golden opportunity for a win last week at home against an inferior opponent; but...I'm guessing this week that Drew Brees and co will find a way to outscore 'em.
Miami at Philadelphia. My pick: EAGLES 30-20. I'm not sure that everything yet is fixed in Philly with that offense, but...it does seem to be coming on and improving; and look for the opportunistic Philly defense to force Dolphin miscues.
Cleveland at Pittsburgh. My pick: STEELERS 20-10. Will it in the end be Johnny Manziel for the Brownies? Will it be Mike Vick for Pittsburgh? In the end I doubt it will matter that much--here's a chance for the Steelers to win at home against an inferior opponent, and I doubt they'll waste it.
Jacksonville at Baltimore. My pick: RAVENS 28-23. Baltimore should certainly win this game at home against an inferior opponent...but don't expect a blowout. The Ravens' suspect defense makes sure of that; but...Joe Flacco will see to it that they score enough points to win.
Minnesota at Oakland. My pick: RAIDERS 24-20. The Vikings have the superior record, but...Teddy Bridgewater was injured in the last game, and his status is questionable; the Vikings won a tough game at home last week, and now they have to go on the road to the west coast against a tougher-than-expected Raiders team. Advantage: Raiders.
New England at NY Giants. My pick: PATRIOTS 31-24. I see the Giants as being competitive in this game; they usually, historically, have played the Pats tough. But New England and Tom Brady have not only been good, they have been very CONSISTENT...and given that, how can one pick against them???
Kansas City at Denver. My pick: BRONCOS 24-17. Denver is coming off a surprising first loss at Indy. Goes to show how difficult it is to go undefeated. But I would expect their usual combination of running the ball and tough D to help them win out here.
Arizona at Seattle. My pick: CARDINALS 20-17. Yes, the Seahawks are favored in this game and are tough at home. But: the Cardinals have a lot of weapons and a lot of speed, and Carson Palmer is playing well. Meanwhile...when you see Seattle...I just don't get the feeling that offense is really clicking, and that they are playing their best. Advantage: Cardinals.
Houston at Cincinnati. My pick: BENGALS 31-14. Here's another chance, as they did last game vs Cleveland, for the Bengals to take care of business at home against an inferior opponent. My guess is they will.
For the year I am now 93-51. Not bad!
Here we go:
COLLEGE PICK
I will just pick one college game this week, but it's a big one:
Oklahoma at Baylor. My pick: SOONERS. Yes, I know--Baylor is about a 2 point favorite, and they are at home. But: Oklahoma is on a roll; they've won several games in a row and looked impressive in each one of them. And Baylor is after all having to play their backup QB; he looked all right in his first game but this is big, big test, and I just don't see Baylor being the same team they were before their starter got hurt. Advantage: Sooners.
*********************
NFL PICKS
Detroit at Green Bay. My pick: PACKERS 30-14. The Pack has a breather, and can use it to fix some of their problems.
Dallas at Tampa Bay. My pick: COWBOYS 23-21. Because probably the Cowboys are just due to find a way to win one; and probably this time it will be the young Bucs making mistakes, more so than the 'Boys.
Carolina at Tennessee. My pick: PANTHERS 26-20. I don't expect this to be a blowout, despite Carolina's undefeated record; the Panthers are coming off a big home win vs Green Bay, and now go on the road to face a losing team. Lack of focus is a possibility. But I expect Cam Newton will find a way to win this one in the end.
Chicago at St. Louis. My pick: RAMS 27-14. The Bears have a ton of injuries; and the Rams' defense should for the most part hold them in check.
New Orleans at Washington. My pick: SAINTS 27-24. What can you say about either of these teams? You're never quite sure who will show up. The Saints blew a golden opportunity for a win last week at home against an inferior opponent; but...I'm guessing this week that Drew Brees and co will find a way to outscore 'em.
Miami at Philadelphia. My pick: EAGLES 30-20. I'm not sure that everything yet is fixed in Philly with that offense, but...it does seem to be coming on and improving; and look for the opportunistic Philly defense to force Dolphin miscues.
Cleveland at Pittsburgh. My pick: STEELERS 20-10. Will it in the end be Johnny Manziel for the Brownies? Will it be Mike Vick for Pittsburgh? In the end I doubt it will matter that much--here's a chance for the Steelers to win at home against an inferior opponent, and I doubt they'll waste it.
Jacksonville at Baltimore. My pick: RAVENS 28-23. Baltimore should certainly win this game at home against an inferior opponent...but don't expect a blowout. The Ravens' suspect defense makes sure of that; but...Joe Flacco will see to it that they score enough points to win.
Minnesota at Oakland. My pick: RAIDERS 24-20. The Vikings have the superior record, but...Teddy Bridgewater was injured in the last game, and his status is questionable; the Vikings won a tough game at home last week, and now they have to go on the road to the west coast against a tougher-than-expected Raiders team. Advantage: Raiders.
New England at NY Giants. My pick: PATRIOTS 31-24. I see the Giants as being competitive in this game; they usually, historically, have played the Pats tough. But New England and Tom Brady have not only been good, they have been very CONSISTENT...and given that, how can one pick against them???
Kansas City at Denver. My pick: BRONCOS 24-17. Denver is coming off a surprising first loss at Indy. Goes to show how difficult it is to go undefeated. But I would expect their usual combination of running the ball and tough D to help them win out here.
Arizona at Seattle. My pick: CARDINALS 20-17. Yes, the Seahawks are favored in this game and are tough at home. But: the Cardinals have a lot of weapons and a lot of speed, and Carson Palmer is playing well. Meanwhile...when you see Seattle...I just don't get the feeling that offense is really clicking, and that they are playing their best. Advantage: Cardinals.
Houston at Cincinnati. My pick: BENGALS 31-14. Here's another chance, as they did last game vs Cleveland, for the Bengals to take care of business at home against an inferior opponent. My guess is they will.
Wednesday, November 11, 2015
I-JUST-THOUGHT-THIS-WAS-INTERESTING DEPT: TEENS AND SOCIAL MEDIA
Reports: some teens might be spending as much as 9 hours per day on social media. Moebius teens and others: is this true, do you think? Moebius moms and dads: do you see any of this as well? Do teens and 20-somethings with Moebius use social media just as much as do non-Moebius teens? Just some questions that pop into my head. Read on:
************************
You probably won't be surprised to hear that a new report found that teens and tweens spend a lot of time watching TV, videos and movies, playing video games, reading, listening to music and checking social media, but you might be somewhat shocked (I was!) by just how much time.
************************
You probably won't be surprised to hear that a new report found that teens and tweens spend a lot of time watching TV, videos and movies, playing video games, reading, listening to music and checking social media, but you might be somewhat shocked (I was!) by just how much time.
On any given day, teens in the United States spend about nine hours using media for their enjoyment, according to the report by Common Sense Media, a nonprofit focused on helping children, parents and educators navigate the world of media and technology.
Let's
just put nine hours in context for a second. That's more time than
teens typically spend sleeping, and more time than they spend with their
parents and teachers. And the nine hours does not include time spent
using media at school or for their homework.
Tweens, identified as children 8 to 12, spend about six hours, on average, consuming media, the report found.
"I
think the sheer volume of media technology that kids are exposed to on a
daily basis is mind-boggling," said James Steyer, chief executive
officer and founder of Common Sense Media, in an interview.
"It just shows you that these kids live in
this massive 24/7 digital media technology world, and it's shaping
every aspect of their life. They spend far more time with media
technology than any other thing in their life. This is the dominant
intermediary in their life."
The
report, the first large-scale study to explore tweens and teens' use of
the full range of media, according to Common Sense Media, is based on a
national sample of more than 2,600 young people ages 8 to 18.
When
it comes to consuming media on screens, including laptops. smartphones
and tablets, teens, on average, spend more than six and a half hours on
screens and tweens more than four and a half hours, the report found.
"I
just think that it should be a complete wake-up call to every parent,
educator, policymaker, business person (and) tech industry person that
the reshaping of our media tech landscape is first and foremost
affecting young people's lives and reshaping childhood and adolescence,"
said Steyer, who's most recent book is "Talking Back to Facebook: The Common Sense Guide to Raising Kids in the Digital Age."
Here are a few more eye-opening highlights about the media habits of Generation Z, according to the report:
No. 1: What's wrong with multitasking?
If
teens are, on average, spending nine hours a day consuming media, it's
not such a surprise they're often doing it while doing their homework.
Half of teens say they "often" or "sometimes" use social media or watch
TV while doing their homework. Some 60% say they text and more than 75%
say they listen to music while working on schoolwork at home.
And
of the kids who multitask, most don't think it effects the quality of
their work. Nearly two-thirds say watching TV or texting makes no
difference and more than 50% feel the same way when it comes to social
media.
"Teenagers think that
multitasking during homework doesn't affect their ability to learn and
... we know it does," said Steyer, citing studies such as one at Stanford,
which found dramatic differences in cognitive control and the ability
to process information between heavy media multitaskers and light media
multitaskers.
"It's completely obvious that you can't multitask and be as effective and competent."
No. 2: Boys choose Xbox, Girls Instagram
There are definite gender differences when it comes to media habits of teens and tweens.
Some
62% of teen boys say they enjoy playing video games "a lot" versus 20%
of girls. When it comes to using social media, 44% of teen girls say
they enjoy it "a lot" versus 29% for boys. Girls, on average, spend
about 40 minutes more on social networks than boys, with girls spending
about an hour and a half a day on social media and boys a little under
an hour.
"I
definitely think it shows that girls use media and technology today for
more social interaction and boys are much more likely to be gamers,
including addicted gamers," said Steyer of Common Sense Media. "There
are real differences between boys and girls so that's a message to
parents and educators, you have to be aware of the differences."
No. 3: The digital equality gap is real
While
ours kids are growing up in a 24/7 digital world, children in lower
income households have less access to technology than kids from
wealthier families. Only 54% of teens in households making less than
$35,000 a year have a laptop in their home versus 92% of teens in
households making $100,000 a year or more.
"There's
an access gap that whether you like the impact of media or technology
on our kids' lives and there are pros and cons, the truth is poor kids
have far less access than wealthy kids do and that's just wrong
especially when Internet platforms and digital platforms are so key to
everything from school to getting a job to connecting with other
people," said Steyer. "So closing the digital inequality gap is a huge
public-policy issue."
No. 4: Guess what? TV and music still tops
Despite
all the new media tweens and teens have at their disposal -- everything
from Instagram to YouTube to Xbox, tweens and teens still rank watching
TV and listening to music as the activities they enjoy "a lot" and do
every day, ahead of playing video games and mobile games, watching
online videos and using social media. In fact, only 10% of teens ranked
social media as their favorite activity.
"I think the bottom line there is it's a
utility now," said Steyer referring to social media. "Increasingly kids
are realizing that Facebook and Instagram and SnapChat, they go there
and ... they feel they have to go there but they don't love it and
that's good. In my opinion, that's good."
No. 5: 'It's a mobile world'
Consider
these stats: 53% of tweens -- kids 8 to 12 -- have their own tablet (my
kids will try to use this as ammunition to get a tablet of their own!),
and 67% of teens have their own smartphones. Mobile devices account for
41% of all screen time for tweens and 46% for teens.
"It's a mobile world so these kids live on
mobile platforms," said Steyer. "I mean if you look at the numbers,
it's clear that you have this clear transformation of teens and tweens'
lives through digital and mobile platforms."
The
implications of this digital transformation are huge for tweens and
teens, educators, policymakers and parents. For one, living and
communicating via mobile devices gets in the way of empathy, said
Steyer.
Texting is so much less
empathetic than having a conversation in person and looking somebody in
the eye and having physical or at least a verbal presence with them, he
said.
Add in the issues of digital
addiction and the attention and distraction implications that come with
mobile devices, and "empathy is really, really under siege," he said.
"That's
a huge issue in terms of society and human relationships and how young
people are evolving in a social, emotional context." he added, saying
more research is needed.
Common Sense Media's next study, due out next year, is about the impact of digital addiction and distraction.
************************************
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
INTERESTED IN A SERVICE DOG? THIS GROUP TRAINS PEOPLE AND PUPS TOGETHER
Many in the Moebius community are interested in service dogs these days; and you may be eligible for one. But how do the dogs themselves get trained, and then how do people get trained to use them in the best way? Read on:
*****************************
FORT WORTH, Texas — It’s the first day of classes, and Pippa can barely contain her excitement. She knows she’s supposed to sit still and listen to instructions, and for one so young and full of energy, she does an admirable job.
Fortunately, the promise of a treat makes it easier to pay attention.
Pippa is a 4-month-old Vizsla puppy with a smooth caramel coat, big droopy ears and the kind of soft, sweet eyes that make humans melt. She’s intently engaged with her surroundings and with what she’s being taught in her first class with IDEA Service Dogs of Keller.
Her owners, 16-year-old Lina Perez and her mom, Katie, live in far north Fort Worth, and have come to IDEA’s founder, Maureen Bennett, to learn how to train Pippa to be a seizure response dog.
It’s an atypical situation. Usually, service dogs are selected and trained and fostered during a lengthy and expensive process, then, finally, assigned to the people they’re meant to serve. But Bennett handles things differently, keeping the future service dogs and their people together from the get-go, so that the relationship starts off strong and the dogs aren’t transferred through a variety of caregivers while they’re growing and working on their skills.
Lina, who has periodic seizures, has a lot riding on Pippa’s success. The plan is to teach Pippa to go get help if Lina has a seizure and to be able to retrieve a packet with medicine and instructions.
“In the future, I’d love to move out of the house and go to college, so having a service dog will be added security and companionship,” she says.
In a private session before the first group class, Pippa only wriggles a little while getting buckled into her service dog in training vest. The new royal blue apparel bears that telltale patch with the slogan, “Please don’t pet me I’m working.”
Lina has a bag of small treats and a clicker to reward good behavior, and when Pippa lies on a small rug at Lina’s feet, it earns her a click and a treat.
Right now, Bennett has eight canine “students” divided into two IDEA training classes, plus another dog taking a private class. The classroom for the IDEA dogs — the name stands for Independence Dogs for Everyone With Differing Abilities — is in the garage of Bennett’s home, a remodeled, air-conditioned space where classes take place on Sunday afternoons, September through June.
She keeps her groups small because it gets crowded: Besides four trainers in attendance, each dog is accompanied by its owner with a disability and another family member who also participates.
“We treat service dog training as a family affair,” says Bennett.
While most traditional programs insist on one person giving the orders, IDEA’s practice is to educate the family on commands and methods. A list of 60 different commands that dogs are expected to learn during a two-year period range from the usual “sit” and “down” to higher-level tasks like turning off lights or finding a misplaced item — an inhaler, for instance.
Training focuses on the use of treats and praise — reinforcing good behavior and ignoring bad behavior. In addition, the program’s mission is to provide service dogs at an affordable cost, thus the novel concept of equipping families with the training knowledge and allowing a pet owner with a disability to use a dog he already has, provided the animal has a good temperament for service.
“Our goal is for the dog to be ‘bullet-proof’ in public, first, and then to learn special skills to help the disabled person,” Bennett says.
Like the Perezes, Shari Hanna was intrigued by Bennett’s program and the possibility of training her own service dog. Because of a degenerative disease she developed at age 12, she has had more than 20 surgeries on her hip and retains a pronounced limp. Hanna has had two service dogs in the past and is in the process of training Crockett, an 11-month-old golden retriever, as her third. A special handle on Crockett’s harness provides his owner with some relief and support, and he accompanies her to work in software support at American Airlines every day.
Currently, the pair is part of IDEA’s more advanced class. Although he just started in February, Crockett is a quick study, Hanna says. Even at his young age, he’s learned to not get overly excited by the attention of others and has been exposed to as many different animals as Hanna can find. He also goes to a variety of stores and events with her, and recently accompanied her to a movie.
“I work with him most every day. We do some sort of little practice,” she says.
A.J. Wilson relies on IDEA for lessons with his Australian Shepherd, Flint, a former show dog. At 26, Wilson has had Type 1 diabetes since he was 9, and he and Bennett are taking private lessons with the goal of making Flint a diabetic alert dog.
Although the sweet-tempered pup didn’t work out in the ring, Bennett says his intelligence and sunny personality make him a good candidate for service. This is Bennett’s first time to train a diabetic alert dog, and she says Wilson must intentionally make his blood sugar get a little out of balance and swab his saliva with a cotton ball. He freezes the sample, and samples of normal readings, in marked vials. The vials are thawed out for training and hidden around Wilson’s apartment.
Flint earns a treat when he alerts them to an out-of-balance sample. Eventually, they’ll train him to associate the scent with Wilson and be able to help.
“When I start to go low, he should determine it almost immediately,” Wilson says. “Once he’s got that figured out, we’ll teach him to open the fridge and get something for it.”
Bennett did not start her career working with dogs, but her own health issues led her toward the new path.
Some 20 years ago, while living in California, the sudden — and painful — onset of rheumatoid arthritis was followed by a diagnosis of ankylosing spondylitis, an inflammatory disease that can cause some of the vertebrae in the spine to fuse together. In less than four months, she went from running three or four miles several days a week to not being able to do anything. She had to quit her job and says she spent most of a year stuck in bed.
Eventually, her pursuit of various treatments allowed her to get up and around, and while using her corporate experience to help administer grants to local nonprofits, she came in contact with a traditional service dog organization. Soon, she was raising puppies for the group, serving on the board and learning how to train service dogs.
The traditional model in service dog training is that puppies spend the first 18 months being raised in a foster home, learning basic obedience and socialization. Next, dogs go into kennels to work with trainers who teach them to perform the tasks a person with a disability might need. Dogs that learn the skills and are calm and confident graduate to service.
One of Bennett’s foster pups, a golden retriever named Mercy, flunked out of traditional training and became the inspiration behind IDEA Service Dogs.
Mercy was smart and eager to learn when the pair met in 2002, and Bennett had no problem teaching her basic obedience. Soon, Mercy had been sent off for service training, but after a number of months, Bennett learned that the young dog had failed the program. As the story goes, Mercy was afraid of balloons and waving flags and was deemed unsuitable. With puppy raisers getting first dibs on animal adoptions for “failures” they’ve housed, she jumped at the chance to bring Mercy back home.
Bennett learned of another approach to training service dogs with Leashes for Living, a group that focused on assisting those with disabilities and their families in training their own service dogs at a fraction of the cost of traditional programs. The duo enrolled in the two-year program. They passed with flying colors.
Bennett got involved with teaching Leashes For Living classes and kept busy there until her marriage to Jerry Bennett — and a move to Texas in 2006. The two had known each other 30 years earlier when they worked together and reconnected over the phone.
Two years later, she started IDEA Service Dogs in Keller. Jerry has the official title of director of the nonprofit, although he jokes that his unofficial title is “vice president of poop” because he picks up after the dogs following their end-of-class play session in the backyard.
“He’s so supportive,” Bennett says. “I couldn’t do this without him.”
In 2011, Mercy died, and Bennett still talks often of how special her first service dog was. Now, she has a new canine partner, 4-year-old Sophie, another golden retriever who is well-on her way to becoming “bullet-proof” in public and is eager to learn new skills.
On a recent Friday afternoon, Bennett was teaching her to pick up a dropped credit card, a tricky task on hard floors. Retrieving dropped items is Sophie’s primary task, but she also helps provide stability and mobility assistance to Bennett. The command “brace” means Sophie will be ready for Bennett to lean against her for support.
Although she is already an IDEA graduate, Sophie is a perpetual student. Bennett says she continues attending training classes because her calm, contented demeanor rubs off on the other dogs and she can demonstrate skills.
At the age of 63, Bennett doesn’t allow her mobility challenges to stop her; she is tireless — and passionate — when it comes to IDEA Service Dogs.
“I hope to do it until I can’t,” she says. “It’s what makes life worthwhile.”
© 2015 Fort Worth Star-Telegram
Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC
*****************************
*****************************
FORT WORTH, Texas — It’s the first day of classes, and Pippa can barely contain her excitement. She knows she’s supposed to sit still and listen to instructions, and for one so young and full of energy, she does an admirable job.
Fortunately, the promise of a treat makes it easier to pay attention.
Pippa is a 4-month-old Vizsla puppy with a smooth caramel coat, big droopy ears and the kind of soft, sweet eyes that make humans melt. She’s intently engaged with her surroundings and with what she’s being taught in her first class with IDEA Service Dogs of Keller.
Her owners, 16-year-old Lina Perez and her mom, Katie, live in far north Fort Worth, and have come to IDEA’s founder, Maureen Bennett, to learn how to train Pippa to be a seizure response dog.
It’s an atypical situation. Usually, service dogs are selected and trained and fostered during a lengthy and expensive process, then, finally, assigned to the people they’re meant to serve. But Bennett handles things differently, keeping the future service dogs and their people together from the get-go, so that the relationship starts off strong and the dogs aren’t transferred through a variety of caregivers while they’re growing and working on their skills.
Lina, who has periodic seizures, has a lot riding on Pippa’s success. The plan is to teach Pippa to go get help if Lina has a seizure and to be able to retrieve a packet with medicine and instructions.
“In the future, I’d love to move out of the house and go to college, so having a service dog will be added security and companionship,” she says.
In a private session before the first group class, Pippa only wriggles a little while getting buckled into her service dog in training vest. The new royal blue apparel bears that telltale patch with the slogan, “Please don’t pet me I’m working.”
Lina has a bag of small treats and a clicker to reward good behavior, and when Pippa lies on a small rug at Lina’s feet, it earns her a click and a treat.
Right now, Bennett has eight canine “students” divided into two IDEA training classes, plus another dog taking a private class. The classroom for the IDEA dogs — the name stands for Independence Dogs for Everyone With Differing Abilities — is in the garage of Bennett’s home, a remodeled, air-conditioned space where classes take place on Sunday afternoons, September through June.
She keeps her groups small because it gets crowded: Besides four trainers in attendance, each dog is accompanied by its owner with a disability and another family member who also participates.
“We treat service dog training as a family affair,” says Bennett.
While most traditional programs insist on one person giving the orders, IDEA’s practice is to educate the family on commands and methods. A list of 60 different commands that dogs are expected to learn during a two-year period range from the usual “sit” and “down” to higher-level tasks like turning off lights or finding a misplaced item — an inhaler, for instance.
Training focuses on the use of treats and praise — reinforcing good behavior and ignoring bad behavior. In addition, the program’s mission is to provide service dogs at an affordable cost, thus the novel concept of equipping families with the training knowledge and allowing a pet owner with a disability to use a dog he already has, provided the animal has a good temperament for service.
“Our goal is for the dog to be ‘bullet-proof’ in public, first, and then to learn special skills to help the disabled person,” Bennett says.
Like the Perezes, Shari Hanna was intrigued by Bennett’s program and the possibility of training her own service dog. Because of a degenerative disease she developed at age 12, she has had more than 20 surgeries on her hip and retains a pronounced limp. Hanna has had two service dogs in the past and is in the process of training Crockett, an 11-month-old golden retriever, as her third. A special handle on Crockett’s harness provides his owner with some relief and support, and he accompanies her to work in software support at American Airlines every day.
Currently, the pair is part of IDEA’s more advanced class. Although he just started in February, Crockett is a quick study, Hanna says. Even at his young age, he’s learned to not get overly excited by the attention of others and has been exposed to as many different animals as Hanna can find. He also goes to a variety of stores and events with her, and recently accompanied her to a movie.
“I work with him most every day. We do some sort of little practice,” she says.
A.J. Wilson relies on IDEA for lessons with his Australian Shepherd, Flint, a former show dog. At 26, Wilson has had Type 1 diabetes since he was 9, and he and Bennett are taking private lessons with the goal of making Flint a diabetic alert dog.
Although the sweet-tempered pup didn’t work out in the ring, Bennett says his intelligence and sunny personality make him a good candidate for service. This is Bennett’s first time to train a diabetic alert dog, and she says Wilson must intentionally make his blood sugar get a little out of balance and swab his saliva with a cotton ball. He freezes the sample, and samples of normal readings, in marked vials. The vials are thawed out for training and hidden around Wilson’s apartment.
Flint earns a treat when he alerts them to an out-of-balance sample. Eventually, they’ll train him to associate the scent with Wilson and be able to help.
“When I start to go low, he should determine it almost immediately,” Wilson says. “Once he’s got that figured out, we’ll teach him to open the fridge and get something for it.”
Bennett did not start her career working with dogs, but her own health issues led her toward the new path.
Some 20 years ago, while living in California, the sudden — and painful — onset of rheumatoid arthritis was followed by a diagnosis of ankylosing spondylitis, an inflammatory disease that can cause some of the vertebrae in the spine to fuse together. In less than four months, she went from running three or four miles several days a week to not being able to do anything. She had to quit her job and says she spent most of a year stuck in bed.
Eventually, her pursuit of various treatments allowed her to get up and around, and while using her corporate experience to help administer grants to local nonprofits, she came in contact with a traditional service dog organization. Soon, she was raising puppies for the group, serving on the board and learning how to train service dogs.
The traditional model in service dog training is that puppies spend the first 18 months being raised in a foster home, learning basic obedience and socialization. Next, dogs go into kennels to work with trainers who teach them to perform the tasks a person with a disability might need. Dogs that learn the skills and are calm and confident graduate to service.
One of Bennett’s foster pups, a golden retriever named Mercy, flunked out of traditional training and became the inspiration behind IDEA Service Dogs.
Mercy was smart and eager to learn when the pair met in 2002, and Bennett had no problem teaching her basic obedience. Soon, Mercy had been sent off for service training, but after a number of months, Bennett learned that the young dog had failed the program. As the story goes, Mercy was afraid of balloons and waving flags and was deemed unsuitable. With puppy raisers getting first dibs on animal adoptions for “failures” they’ve housed, she jumped at the chance to bring Mercy back home.
Bennett learned of another approach to training service dogs with Leashes for Living, a group that focused on assisting those with disabilities and their families in training their own service dogs at a fraction of the cost of traditional programs. The duo enrolled in the two-year program. They passed with flying colors.
Bennett got involved with teaching Leashes For Living classes and kept busy there until her marriage to Jerry Bennett — and a move to Texas in 2006. The two had known each other 30 years earlier when they worked together and reconnected over the phone.
Two years later, she started IDEA Service Dogs in Keller. Jerry has the official title of director of the nonprofit, although he jokes that his unofficial title is “vice president of poop” because he picks up after the dogs following their end-of-class play session in the backyard.
“He’s so supportive,” Bennett says. “I couldn’t do this without him.”
In 2011, Mercy died, and Bennett still talks often of how special her first service dog was. Now, she has a new canine partner, 4-year-old Sophie, another golden retriever who is well-on her way to becoming “bullet-proof” in public and is eager to learn new skills.
On a recent Friday afternoon, Bennett was teaching her to pick up a dropped credit card, a tricky task on hard floors. Retrieving dropped items is Sophie’s primary task, but she also helps provide stability and mobility assistance to Bennett. The command “brace” means Sophie will be ready for Bennett to lean against her for support.
Although she is already an IDEA graduate, Sophie is a perpetual student. Bennett says she continues attending training classes because her calm, contented demeanor rubs off on the other dogs and she can demonstrate skills.
At the age of 63, Bennett doesn’t allow her mobility challenges to stop her; she is tireless — and passionate — when it comes to IDEA Service Dogs.
“I hope to do it until I can’t,” she says. “It’s what makes life worthwhile.”
© 2015 Fort Worth Star-Telegram
Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC
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Friday, November 6, 2015
FRIDAY FOOTBALL PICKS!!
Wow, last week I went 13-2!
That put me at 82-46 for the year.
Let's keep it going!!
COLLEGE PICKS
Some big games this week. Here we go:
Florida State at Clemson. My pick: TIGERS. Everyone keeps saying Clemson's going to slip up here or there. No sign of it yet--they have tons of speed, and that's big. They keep rolling.
TCU at Oklahoma State. My pick: HORNED FROGS. Should still be plenty of points scored here, but...I think Gary Patterson is getting that Frog defense to where it needs to be. If so, look out Big 12.
LSU at Alabama. My pick: CRIMSON TIDE. I don't think this is a lock; I expect a close game (indeed, the last time 'Bama played at home in a game they were supposed to win, they almost lost--to Tennessee of all people). But I suspect the Tide will pull this one out in the end.
******************
NFL PICKS
Green Bay at Carolina. My pick: PANTHERS 24-20. I don't think Pack fans should panic; but I think their team is entering a mid-season slump. People have disrespected Carolina all year. Yet they are undefeated, and have a front four that can pressure Aaron Rodgers. Look out Pack.
Washington at New England. My pick: PATRIOTS 34-10. This one should be a blowout by halftime.
Tennessee at New Orleans. My pick: SAINTS 30-17. Okay, can we finally say that the Saints and Drew Brees have whatever ailed them fixed? My guess is we can, certainly for this week.
Miami at Buffalo. My pick: BILLS 21-18. Although with these two teams, who knows? But--I suspect Miami will still be suffering a Patriots hangover.
St. Louis at Minnesota. My pick: VIKINGS 20-17. A tough game to pick; two teams coming off multiple wins in a row and improving. But--while the Rams have Todd Gurley, still the Vikes have Adrian Peterson; and he'll make the difference.
Jacksonville at NY Jets. My pick: JETS 24-10. Because the Jets perhaps will now be over their post-Patriots hangover (it takes a couple of weeks).
Oakland at Pittsburgh. My pick: STEELERS 21-17. An intriguing game, and who'd have thought we'd have been saying that about a Raiders game this far in? But they've improved. Still--you have to think that Ben Roethlisberger, with a game under his belt now, will find a way to get this one.
Tampa Bay at NY Giants. My pick: GIANTS 28-17. The win one/lose one Giants are due to win one; AND...look for Antonio Rodgers-Cromartie to get another pick off of the young Jameis Winston.
Atlanta at San Francisco. My pick: FALCONS 24-13. Atlanta and Matty Ice have been struggling. But hey! Going to play the Niners is a perfect tonic.
Denver at Indianapolis. My pick: BRONCOS 27-17. Denver showed last week just how good they could be. The Colts meanwhile to continue to struggle; having a weak O-line against this pass rush is not a good sign.
Philadelphia at Dallas. My pick: EAGLES 20-16. Philly has had its problems. But Matt Cassel has not been the answer for the Cowboys; plus, news is earlier this week he had on a knee brace, plus now today's news has Dez Bryant feuding with the news media and new revelations about Greg Hardy. Lots of distractions; and key--not a great QB.
Chicago at San Diego. My pick: CHARGERS 28-24. Two struggling teams, but if Jay Cutler and Philip Rivers get into rhythms offensively, it could be an interesting shootout and an entertaining game. Look for the Chargers to score late and pull it out.
That put me at 82-46 for the year.
Let's keep it going!!
COLLEGE PICKS
Some big games this week. Here we go:
Florida State at Clemson. My pick: TIGERS. Everyone keeps saying Clemson's going to slip up here or there. No sign of it yet--they have tons of speed, and that's big. They keep rolling.
TCU at Oklahoma State. My pick: HORNED FROGS. Should still be plenty of points scored here, but...I think Gary Patterson is getting that Frog defense to where it needs to be. If so, look out Big 12.
LSU at Alabama. My pick: CRIMSON TIDE. I don't think this is a lock; I expect a close game (indeed, the last time 'Bama played at home in a game they were supposed to win, they almost lost--to Tennessee of all people). But I suspect the Tide will pull this one out in the end.
******************
NFL PICKS
Green Bay at Carolina. My pick: PANTHERS 24-20. I don't think Pack fans should panic; but I think their team is entering a mid-season slump. People have disrespected Carolina all year. Yet they are undefeated, and have a front four that can pressure Aaron Rodgers. Look out Pack.
Washington at New England. My pick: PATRIOTS 34-10. This one should be a blowout by halftime.
Tennessee at New Orleans. My pick: SAINTS 30-17. Okay, can we finally say that the Saints and Drew Brees have whatever ailed them fixed? My guess is we can, certainly for this week.
Miami at Buffalo. My pick: BILLS 21-18. Although with these two teams, who knows? But--I suspect Miami will still be suffering a Patriots hangover.
St. Louis at Minnesota. My pick: VIKINGS 20-17. A tough game to pick; two teams coming off multiple wins in a row and improving. But--while the Rams have Todd Gurley, still the Vikes have Adrian Peterson; and he'll make the difference.
Jacksonville at NY Jets. My pick: JETS 24-10. Because the Jets perhaps will now be over their post-Patriots hangover (it takes a couple of weeks).
Oakland at Pittsburgh. My pick: STEELERS 21-17. An intriguing game, and who'd have thought we'd have been saying that about a Raiders game this far in? But they've improved. Still--you have to think that Ben Roethlisberger, with a game under his belt now, will find a way to get this one.
Tampa Bay at NY Giants. My pick: GIANTS 28-17. The win one/lose one Giants are due to win one; AND...look for Antonio Rodgers-Cromartie to get another pick off of the young Jameis Winston.
Atlanta at San Francisco. My pick: FALCONS 24-13. Atlanta and Matty Ice have been struggling. But hey! Going to play the Niners is a perfect tonic.
Denver at Indianapolis. My pick: BRONCOS 27-17. Denver showed last week just how good they could be. The Colts meanwhile to continue to struggle; having a weak O-line against this pass rush is not a good sign.
Philadelphia at Dallas. My pick: EAGLES 20-16. Philly has had its problems. But Matt Cassel has not been the answer for the Cowboys; plus, news is earlier this week he had on a knee brace, plus now today's news has Dez Bryant feuding with the news media and new revelations about Greg Hardy. Lots of distractions; and key--not a great QB.
Chicago at San Diego. My pick: CHARGERS 28-24. Two struggling teams, but if Jay Cutler and Philip Rivers get into rhythms offensively, it could be an interesting shootout and an entertaining game. Look for the Chargers to score late and pull it out.
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