Some health tips for today...

WAYS TO REV UP YOUR METABOLISM
"Even before you start exercising, you can use plenty of tricks to eliminate visceral fat, improve your flab-burning metabolic process, and start losing weight fast.
And for more great ways to and lose weight and stay slim for good, pick up a copy of The Men's Health Diet today! It combines the latest findings in exercise and nutrition with practical how-to advice that will transform your body into a fat-burning machine.

Eat iron-rich foodsIron is essential for carrying the oxygen your muscles need to burn fat. Unless you restock your store, you run the risk of low energy and a sagging metabolism. Shellfish, lean meats, beans, fortified cereals, and spinach are excellent sources. (But it's not always a good idea to take a supplement. Too much iron has been linked to a greater risk of heart disease in men. Get this essential mineral in natural doses from real foods.)

Get more DVitamin D is essential for preserving metabolism-revving muscle tissue. Unfortunately, researchers estimate that a measly 20 percent of Americans take in enough through their diet. Get 90 percent of your recommended daily value (400 IU) in a 3.5-ounce serving of salmon. Other good sources: tuna, fortified milk and cereals, and eggs.
Drink milkThere's some evidence that calcium deficiency may slow metabolism. Research shows that consuming calcium in dairy foods such as fat-free milk and low-fat yogurt may also reduce fat absorption from other foods.
Eat watermelonThe amino acid arginine, abundant in watermelon, might promote weight loss, according to a new study in the Journal of Nutrition. Researchers supplemented the diets of obese mice with arginine over 3 months and found that it decreased body-fat gains by a whopping 64 percent. Adding this amino acid to the diet enhanced the oxidation of fat and glucose and increased lean muscle, which burns more calories than fat does. Snack on watermelon and other arginine sources, such as seafood, nuts, and seeds, year-round.
Stay hydratedAll of your body's chemical reactions, including your metabolism, depend on water. If you are dehydrated, you may be burning up to 2 percent fewer calories, according to researchers at the University of Utah who monitored the metabolic rates of 10 adults as they drank varying amounts of water per day. In the study, those who drank either eight or twelve 8-ounce glasses of water a day had higher metabolic rates than those who had four."

HYDRATION PREVENTS KIDNEY STONES
"Older women whose diet include too little calcium or water -- or too much salt -- have an increased risk of developing kidney stones, a study confirms.
Researchers found that among more than 78,000 U.S. women in their 50s and 70s, the risk of developing first-time kidney stones declined as calcium or fluid intake climbed. On the other hand, the odds went up with a higher sodium intake.
Kidney stones develop when the urine contains more crystal-forming substances -- like calcium, uric acid and a compound called oxalate -- than can be diluted by the available fluid.
People prone to developing kidney stones have long been told to boost their fluid intake; that helps dilute the substances that can lead to stones. Cutting down on salt can help because too much sodium boosts calcium levels in the urine."

DISABILITY NEWS:  SCHOOL OFFICIALS DOING WRONG?
Sure kinda seems like it--looks like they're seeking to cover their behinds, and little else:
"After two years using a walker, a Texas school district is ordering a 5-year-old girl with cerebral palsy back into her wheelchair. Now, the girl’s mother is fighting back.
Kristi Roberts says she was stunned when officials from the New Caney Independent School District said her daughter LaKay could no longer use her walker at school. Instead, educators at the district want the girl to use a wheelchair, something Roberts says would reverse years of progress the girl has made.
The reason: school officials said they became worried about the girl’s safety using the walker after she fell in the parking lot while she was with her mother.
Roberts isn’t taking the news lying down, however. She captured a conversation with a school official on tape and uploaded the recording to YouTube where it has racked up more than 40,000 views. During the encounter, the school official insists that it’s not safe for LaKay to use the walker and urges Roberts to go to court if she feels otherwise.
“If she can walk now, please let her walk,” Roberts told NBC News. “Don’t strap her in a wheelchair. We’ve worked so hard. She has worked so hard.”

“Dreams are the touchstones of our characters. ”--Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862

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ADVICE FOR MOEBIUS PARENTS
So this summer, at our Moebius Syndrome conference in Philadelphia, one of the things I'm going to do is to facilitate a conference session titled "Just for Dads."  It's a time set aside for the fathers of children with Moebius Syndrome, to allow them to share their experiences, to figure out solutions to the challenges they're facing, and just to learn from each other.

It's a bit of a different experience for me.  I am after all a dad, too.  I'm a dad with Moebius Syndrome.  But at the same time, I'm not a dad who has children with Moebius Syndrome; both of my kids, Ethan, who is 4, and Sophie, who is not yet a month old, do NOT have Moebius.  (Which is an interesting thing, given that both I and my wife, Lisa, DO have Moebius).

However, I think one thing I can bring to this session is simple; I do have Moebius, and I was a therefore a child with Moebius once, and I remember those days.

And I think the best piece of advice I can give to the dads whose sons and/or daughters have Moebius is just this:  try not to get too frustrated with your child.

Well, now, that sounds easy, doesn't it?  After all, we all love our kids.  We know we shouldn't get too frustrated with them.  We know we need to be encouraging.  Frustration isn't good.  So how hard can it be?  Hey, we're all committed parents here.

But--I know it isn't always that easy.  Children with Moebius can't always see everything that you see.  (Their eyesight isn't as good; in my case, and I'm not alone, I can see out of both eyes, but I can only use one eye at a time.)  They can't always do everything that you could do when you were a child; their physical skills aren't the same as yours, their balance maybe isn't as good...and, especially, it's very easy for a Moebius child to be shy, to be quiet, to be socially awkward, to be more reluctant than you'd like them to be to mix with other kids, to go to parties and be involved in social situations, etc.

And that can be hard for parents.  It can be frustrating.  Parents know their Moebius child can't be a hermit; they can't be so shy they stay home all the time.  Many parents weren't all that shy when they were kids.   But always remember, parents--when you were young, you didn't have Moebius.   You've never gone through what Moebius kids have to go through; so it can be hard for you to understand the occasional shyness, the desire to stay home sometimes, to not want to go out and throw yourself out there. 

But I know the tendency for the parents of Moebius children is to say:  why are you so shy?  What are you so afraid of?  There's no reason to be shy.  There's nothing to be afraid of.  As a non-Moebius person, that's the way it appears to you now.  That's the world you know.

And I'm not saying that you should allow your child to be a hermit.  You DO want your child to get out there.  But what I am saying is:  do this in an encouraging way.  Remember that your child does have Moebius. It can be hard.  It's hard for you to understand it as a parent; you haven't been through it.  But it can be difficult.  It's hard to be stared at.  It's hard to be laughed at, whispered about.  It's hard to always know:  I'm different.  Others think I'm different.  And not always to understand why you were born that way.  But that's sometimes what your child has to go through.  So be understanding of that.  Don't act like you don't understand why your child is shy.  Fact is, you _do_ know why he or she is shy.  Don't let your child hide from the world. 

But at the same time, what I'm really driving at is this:  don't get angry at his or her shyness.  Don't get overly frustrated by it.  Because down deep, you know why it's there.

Just be positive; be encouraging; allow your child the space to develop his or her own friends, and find his or her own voice.  It will happen, and it will happen even sooner if you nurture it and allow it to grow.

“Ability is what you are capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it. ”-- football coach Louis "Lou" Holtz (born 1937)

TOO MUCH SITTING--BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH
A new study re-confirms it:
"Sit, sit, sit. It’s what a lot of us do all day long. We work in cubicles (I do). We watch TV. We read. We stare at computer screens. We stare at computer screens. Did I mention that we stare at computer screens?
It’s not news that all this rump-resting is bad for your health, of course. But a big new study out of Australia puts some better numbers on how too much sitting increases the risk of death.
In people 45 years and older, sitting for 11 or more hours a day led to an increased risk of death (from all causes) by about 40 percent over four years, compared to the risk of death in people who sat just four to eight hours a day, the study found.
People plopped on their behinds for eight to 11 hours daily had about a 15 percent increase in risk of death.
And no matter how much exercise the participants reported, sitting for long periods still raised the risk of death.
“Prolonged sitting is a risk factor for all-cause mortality, independent of physical activity,” wrote the authors of the study, which appears this week in the Archives of Internal Medicine.
Their figures are based on questionnaires from 222,497 people in Australia. From 2006 through 2010, participants recorded how long they sat; the researchers then tallied deaths among the participants.
Sitting for prolonged periods every day accounted for 6.9 percent of the deaths of study participants, the authors from the Sydney School of Public Health at the University of Sydney report.
Questionnaire studies are not the best — they rely on folks to be honest, of course. But the huge number of participants increases confidence that the results are accurate.
Other research shows that sitting might lead to an early death due to increased risk of heart disease, diabetes and other disorders.
So what can be done about this sedentary tsunami? Some office workers are turning to standing desks; I’ve seen some around the Post, and know a few other writers who love them.
A commentary accompanying the study by two other Australian researchers suggests more extreme measures, including workplace regulations. But it’s hard to imagine the federal government telling companies they mustn’t let workers sit too long.
“The good news,” reads the commentary, “is that increasing light-intensity activity may be a feasible goal for many and offers great health benefits.”
“Light-intensity activity”: That’s academic speak for getting off your rear."

GUYS--TRY "BROGA"
Want to try some yoga-type exercise?  but you're worried about taking a yoga class full of limber ladies who might make you look bad?  Well, then, try yoga for guys--"broga":
"Tired of hearing a wife, girlfriend, mother, sister or female friend sing the praises of yoga, some guys will eventually man up and tag along to a class. Once there, in many studios, he might be one of few downward facing dudes.
Being the only man surrounded by a room of limber ladies in tight-fitting yoga pants might sound like paradise. But it gets rough when the gal on the next mat can touch her nose to her knees and the guy can barely bend over to reach his toes.
Feeling self-consciousness and possibly embarrassed, a guy may retreat to his man cave convinced that yoga is not for him. It's too New Age-y or hippie-ish. Or not macho enough. Or too damn hard.

Enter broga -- a yoga class geared for men.

"We're a yoga class geared for guys, but open to all," says Adam O'Neill, president and co-founder of Broga, which is based in Somerville, Mass. Although women are welcome in class, it's designed with a man in mind.
"We chose the name broga because it's funny, catchy, and familiar. It lets men know this is for them," O'Neill explains.
"On the one hand, we don't take ourselves too seriously. But broga is a real thing with real integrity," points out O'Neill. Classes, he says, work from the familiar to the unfamiliar.
Familiar language is used and little, if any, Sanskrit. There's familiar music in the background, maybe some Radiohead, Bob Dylan and The Black Keys -- and not an Eastern soundtrack.
And there's a different vibe: There's little reference to the spiritual side of yoga, although more advanced classes may go there if participants are ready for it.
Classes combine traditional yoga postures and athletic movements. "The class focuses on balance, building strength and an awareness of breath," says Robert Sidoti, the "Brogi," who developed and teaches the classes and co-founded broga. "A side benefit becomes increased flexibility."
There might be more push-up variations you might not find in a traditional yoga class designed to strengthen the core, and different kinds of athletic movements and series to get the heart rate up, explains Sidoti. "If an athletic or fitness-type move is done, it's countered by a yoga stretch and a balance move, like tree pose."
"A lot of guys come here after years and years of sports, but their bodies are out of whack -- some have cement shoulders or really tight hips," Sidoti points out. They might not be able to do those flexy, bendy poses that a woman can, he suggests, so we work on poses and movements that are more relevant to their lives, whether he's a carpenter or he sits all day in an office.
"Many guys would rather go play tennis or a sport because it feels like exercise," says Sidoti. "Yoga hasn't been a place that feels fun."
But then men get to that point or to that age when things in their body start to hurt them, and that's often what gets them in the door to try yoga, he admits.
"I think a yoga class geared for men is a great idea," says Matt Carpenter, who teaches hatha yoga and yoga nidra classes at The Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY.

"Men often bring a competitiveness, an intensity, and a seriousness to their yoga practice," says Carpenter. "We try to balance that by helping them grow in the direction of softness [flexibility] and openness," he says.

Carpenter thinks that yoga can become more male friendly by acknowledging the qualities that men bring to the practice and speaking to those qualities directly. "A good way to connect is to appeal to the strength aspects of yoga, the focus on discipline, or the quiet mindfulness -- that Zen Samurai mindset," he suggests.
Whatever it takes to get men to practice yoga, ultimately, "broga is about men feeling better in their bodies," says O'Neill. "And taking an active, preventive role in their own lives."
Right now, there are seven weekly broga classes in Massachusetts. But O'Neill and Sidoti hope to grow the brand so they offer instructor training certification (for men only) to bring the practice elsewhere, and online classes or DVDs. They also plan to work with men's sports team on the collegiate and professional level.
In the meantime, Sidoti encourages men to go to an introductory level yoga class, even if they're fit and athletic. "If you're a fast-moving person, that will be your work to slow down," he says. "Take the time to learn the breath and the poses, and grow it from there."

“Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest. ”--Mark Twain (1835-1910);

THE ISSUE OF STARING
So one of my Facebook friends the other day--the wonderful mother of a beautiful young lady who happens to have Moebius Syndrome--mentioned an issue that comes up occasionally for people like us.  And that is the issue of "staring"--that is, when a non-Moebius person stares at you because of your physical difference, or stares at your child because he or she has it.

In this case, someone was staring at my friend's child while they were in a public place.  And you could tell, as a mom, it hurt her.  It is no fun to see something like that being done to your child.  But maybe it would help if we looked at the issue a little bit more closely...let's "muse" on it a bit, think it through some more; maybe that can help.

I have Moebius Syndrome too, of course.  So, first of all, I can tell you:  it's no fun to have someone stare at you.  Especially when I was a kid, I can remember the occasional other child with whom I'd come in contact, who didn't know me, staring at me...and staring at me...it would seem like it would go on forever.  All I can remember is thinking that I wish he or she would quit it.  Of course, I didn't say anything.    You just kind of "take it."

When you get a bit older, it's still very much not a fun thing to be stared at.  You do, I think, know a bit more WHY it's happening.  You know you look different.  You sort of learn to look away, and wait until it ends.  But it's still not fun.

It never is.  No matter how old you get, the "staring" is annoying.  But we can also say this:  1] As you get older, you do get used to it; you become toughened and calloused towards it.  You can handle it.  Maybe this, then, will help Moebius parents:  as your Moebius child gets older, the staring probably will bother you, more than it will bother your child.  2] In fact, I don't remember staring ever, like, destroying an entire day of mine, or anything like that.  It happens.  But you get over it.  You move on with your day.  It part of that whole becoming "calloused" towards it.  3] And maybe that's because "staring" does NOT come from anybody who truly knows you, who is part of your family or who is a friend.  Having friends and family and people who understand you is important; is probably essential, to helping you get through things like that.  But as long as you have people on whom you can lean, you do get through the uncomfortable "staring" incidents.

When it all comes down to it, the real intense, uncomfortable, impolite "staring" incidents come at us usually from people who are immature, perhaps ignorant, often clueless.  And why in the end should we let those people bother us, right?  They are the ones with the problem. Not us. 


“One of the most difficult things everyone has to learn is that for your entire life you must keep fighting and adjusting if you hope to survive. No matter who you are or what your position is you must keep fighting for whatever it is you desire to achieve. ”--George  Allen (1918-1990);

LET IT POP
From the "Gee, I didn't know that" department--popcorn is better for you than people thought:
"Long heralded as a low-calorie snack, new research indicates popcorn may actually be good for your health in other ways as well.
Pennsylvania researchers reported popcorn actually contains more healthy antioxidants called polyphenols than fruits and vegetables. The study found that there were 300 mg of polyphenols in a serving of popcorn, compared to 160 mg in a serving of fruit.
Polyphenols have been shown in prior studies to boost cardiovascular health as well as protect against chronic diseases.
Because popcorn is only 4 percent water – compared to the 90 percent water that makes up many fruits and vegetables – the concentration of polyphenols is much higher in the snack food because it is not as diluted.
The hulls of the popcorn, or the part that tends to get stuck in people’s teeth, has the highest concentration of polyphenols and is a good source of fiber as well.
"Those hulls deserve more respect," lead researcher Joe Vinson, from the University of Scranton in Pennsylvania, said in a press release. "They are nutritional gold nuggets."
Vinson, who also has analyzed the healthful components of chocolate, nuts and other common foods in the past, called popcorn “the perfect snack food.”
“It's the only snack that is 100 percent unprocessed whole grain,” he said. “All other grains are processed and diluted with other ingredients...One serving of popcorn will provide more than 70 percent of the daily intake of whole grain. The average person only gets about half a serving of whole grains a day, and popcorn could fill that gap in a very pleasant way."
However, Vinson warned that it is very easy to turn this healthy snack into an unhealthy one. Air-popped popcorn is much lower than calories than microwave popcorn – although slathering on butter, oil and other ingredients can cause the calorie and fat content to rise exponentially.
Also, Vinson added that popcorn cannot replace fruits and vegetables in a healthy diet because fruits and vegetables contain essential vitamins and other nutrients that popcorn lacks."


“An ant on the move does more than a dozing ox. ”---Lao Tzu (600-531 B.C.)

THE DANGERS OF BEING "LABELED"
We with Moebius, or other physical differences, know these dangers all too well.  See what it did to this young woman, who eventually became a TV reporter:
" As an entertainment reporter who covers Hollywood, there are countless critics acting as judges in this industry. There are the never-ending headlines of leading actresses’ “weight gain," and "starved frames." These unhealthy labels have to stop.
 Sixteen years ago I was a slave to bulimia, prompted by the labels of others. My bulimia lasted for about a year, and during that time, I destroyed so much of my body.
I actually lost track of how much weight I dropped, and I noticed that my friends, who initially encouraged me to lose weight, stopped being so critical. I did not realize then that it was because I had become a walking skeleton. I had gone from loving the person in the mirror to hating the reflection that stared back me.
It all began with the semester I studied in Spain as an undergraduate college student. There, I lost weight, challenged by the food of my host family.
When I returned to America, I happily returned to eating pizza, ice cream sandwiches and french fries. Then, some of my friends who had initially complimented my thinner frame, were now criticizing my "chubby" look.
The peer pressure and constant labeling about my appearance left me feeling ugly, powerless and out of control.
Looking back, this was my moment: a subjective observation from my peers that had a gradual harmful effect on the way I looked at myself."

Of course, in our case, the labels are different--"retard" was one of the uglier names tossed my way when I was younger.  But the effect is the same.  Let's hope people continue to come out against labeling others, be they Hollywood stars or just ordinary folks with a difference, like us.

HEALTHY HABITS YOU CAN LEARN...FROM YOUR DOG!
No joke--your pup can teach you some healthy tricks:
"Believe it or not, you can learn a thing or two from your four-legged best friend.
Dr. Emma Raizman, a pediatrician at the Cleveland Clinic, said dogs can teach humans a few healthy habits.
Raizman said the first thing dogs can teach us is to “get out and play.”
“If you look at your dogs they want to be let out all of the time,” Raizman said. They want to run, they want to use their legs and build their muscles, build their endurance and get all of that energy out.”
Raizman added that you can learn portion control from Fido – as you typically feed him the same amount of food at every serving – you should do the same for yourself.
Pay attention to your dog’s sleeping habits. He makes sleeping a priority, so you should, too.
And you can even learn empathy from a dog, Raizman said.
Dogs are quick to forgive, and studies show that people who forgive easily have less anger and less stress.
Canines show appreciation, and humans should mirror that trait, Raizman said, adding that doing so can help your mental health and build stronger relationships.
“You know when you come home your dog is wagging their tail, they’re happy to see you, and they don’t hold it in,” Raizman said. “They just let all of their emotions show.”

“Contrary to the cliché, genuinely nice guys most often finish first or very near it. ”--Malcolm S. Forbes (1919-1990);

A COLLEGE HOOPS STAR SACRIFICES FOR HER SISTER
She gave up a scholarship at a major university in order to be closer to her disabled sister.  Did she regret it?  Read on:
"One of the most closely watched players during March Madness this year almost gave up basketball entirely to be near her sister with severe disabilities.
Elena Delle Donne was the top women’s basketball recruit in the country when she decided to play for the University of Connecticut in 2008. But just two days into her tenure at the highly-ranked program, Delle Donne abruptly left.
She returned home to Delaware and wouldn’t play basketball again for a year. Delle Donne was, however, able to be with her older sister Lizzie who is blind, deaf and has cerebral palsy.
“She knows me by my smell and my feel, so, physically, physical contact is the only thing she knows,” Delle Donne told ABC News. “So when I did leave, I lost Lizzie basically. Well, she lost me and I wasn’t OK with that when I left.”
As a junior this season at the University of Delaware, Delle Donne averaged 27.5 points — more than any other player in the country — and helped her team win an NCAA tournament game for the first time ever. They lost Tuesday night in the second round to the University of Kansas, but the young star says she’s not looking back.
“I wasn’t going to be happy if I was separated from my family,” she told ABC."

To read more, go here.

The support of one's family is so important to those with physical differences of any kind...


“You are educated. Your certification is in your degree. You may think of it as the ticket to the good life. Let me ask you to think of an alternative. Think of it as your ticket to change the world. ”---Tom Brokaw (born 1940

A SPECIAL NEEDS BOY HITS THE BIG TIME
He has Down's Syndrome--but he's also becoming a celebrated model:
"After appearing in a national advertisement for Target, a 6-year-old New Jersey boy with Down syndrome is making it big, attracting media attention from as far away as London.
Ryan Langston, sported an orange t-shirt and casual brown pants on page 9 of Target’s Jan. 1 circular, distributed in newspapers and at stores across the country.
But unlike the other child models appearing alongside him, Ryan has Down syndrome. His inclusion is drawing kudos from bloggers across the Web because the boy’s diagnosis was not mentioned in the ad and apparently played no role in his selection.
Since Ryan was pointed out in a posting on the blog Noah’s Dad, his story has gone viral. It’s been featured on the Today Show’s website, in Adweek and London’s The Daily Mail in recent days.
Now, speaking in their first interview, Ryan’s parents, Jim and Amanda Langston, told Disability Scoop that their son’s newfound celebrity has been crazy and they’re just soaking it all up.
They describe Ryan as a mellow kid who loves sports, playing Wii and horsing around with his twin brother, Ian, who’s typically developing. Modeling, they say, has been a blessing for Ryan, offering a level playing field where he can compete against the best of them and thrive.
“Ryan is very professional,” says his mom, Amanda Langston. “When he gets there and sees that he’s going to put on an outfit, he’s very into it. We love it for him because we started to see how he responded to it. He’s so proud of himself and it is a huge confidence booster.”
The Target circular was not Ryan’s first foray in front of the camera and it’s not likely to be his last. Last summer, he appeared in a Nordstrom catalog. And Target recently asked the boy’s parents for additional photos so they can consider him for future shoots.
Ryan has been called in for other jobs as well, but his parents say they’ve always put school first and lots of modeling gigs conflict with the boy’s schedule at the private, special education school he attends.
Traditionally, models with disabilities have appeared in advertisements targeted to the special needs community such as the annual Toys “R” Us Toy Guide for Differently-Abled Kids. But Ryan’s story is just one more example of how things may be starting to change. A 14-month-old British girl with Down syndrome recently made headlines after landing modeling deals with a global toy store and a clothing shop for which she competed against typically developing kids. Similarly, Ryan has been included in mainstream ads exclusively.
For their part, representatives of Target Corp. say that Ryan’s appearance in their ad is part of the company’s long-running effort to reflect diversity.
“Target is committed to diversity and inclusion in every aspect of our business, including our advertising campaigns,” company spokeswoman Jessica Carlson said in a statement. “Target has included people with disabilities in our advertising for many years and will continue to feature people that represent the diversity of communities across the country.”
As for Ryan, he’s thrilled seeing his photo in major advertisements and plastered across the Internet alike, his parents say.
“He’s so proud of it,” says Ryan’s dad Jim Langston. “When we got the Target circular this week and I showed him on page 9, he blushed and said ‘that’s me.’”
And that’s making for a couple of proud parents too.
“The greatest thing that Nordstrom and Target are doing is that they’re not making any reference to his disability. He’s just another cute kid,” says Jim Langston. “As parents, it’s a bit of a victory lap for us because the first three months of his life were pretty tough. He was in the hospital, then he went home for a while, then he had open heart surgery when he was 3 months old. He had a pretty tough start and to see him now at this point is kind of a pat on the back.”

Awareness continues to grow.  Our definition of beauty continues to evolve.  And that's a good thing.

"If one does not fail at times, then one has not challenged
himself." -Ferdinand Porsche

PETS ARE GOOD FOR YOUR HEALTH
So many of you with Moebius have pets and have loved your pets; so this won't surprise you:
"We know that pets are beneficial to our health — they can lower a person's blood pressure, cholesterol and triglyceride levels, and provide opportunities for exercise and socialization.
In some cases, the source of the benefits is obvious. You walk a dog for two miles, you'll be in better shape. But some of the reported benefits are baffling.
A 10-year study at the University of Minnesota Stroke Center found that cat owners were 40 percent less likely to have heart attacks than non-cat owners.
Could a cat's purr be the reason?
"Cats will purr when they're content, but also they'll purr when they're about to be euthanized. It's thought they purr to communicate with their kittens," says author and animal behavior consultant Steve Dale. "It's thought to be a calming mechanism.
"If that's the case … maybe they calm themselves or other cats, but maybe there's a fallout and there's another mammal species, us, that's impacted."
In another study, conducted at Kean University in New Jersey, subjects watched a "Lassie" movie. Their levels of cortisol — a chemical associated with stress — were checked before and after the film, and showed a decline after the movie.
This animal connection, Dale explained, "alters our neurochemistry. Not just the physiology, the blood pressure change, which is significant, but also the neurochemistry. The scientists are discovering there really is a difference here."

I think that, for many with Moebius Syndrome, pets are a great thing simply because of their loyalty.  They don't care what you look like.  They don't judge you for your looks or stare at you because you're somehow "different", as some humans do.  They're usually loyal to you no matter what you look like.  And that's domething that we really appreciate.

“When a resolute young fellow steps up to the great bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find it comes off in his hand, and that it was only tied on to scare away the timid adventurers. ”---Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882);

BRAIN TALK DEPT
Guess what--daydreaming can be good for the mind:
"Catch yourself daydreaming while washing the dishes again? If this happens often you probably have a pretty capable working memory, new research suggests.
This mind wandering, it seems, actually gives your working memory a workout. Working memory is the mental work space that allows the brain to juggle multiple thoughts simultaneously. The more working memory a person has, the more daydreaming they can do without forgetting the task at hand.
"Our results suggest that the sorts of planning that people do quite often in daily life — when they're on the bus, when they're cycling to work, when they're in the shower — are probably supported by working memory," study researcher Jonathan Smallwood, of the Max Planck Institute for Human Cognitive and Brain Science, said in a statement. "Their brains are trying to allocate resources to the most pressing problems."
Wandering brain
Researchers studied groups of people from the University of Wisconsin-Madison community, ranging in age from 18 to 65. The first group was asked to perform simple tasks, like pressing a button every time they took a breath or clicking in response to a letter popping up on a computer screen; these tasks were so easy that their minds were likely to wander, the researchers figured.
The researchers checked in periodically, asking the participants if their minds were on task or wandering. When the task was over, they measured each participant's working memory capacity by having them remember letters while doing math equations. Though all participants performed well on the task, the researchers noticed that the individuals who indicated their minds had wandered more than others also scored higher on the working memory test.
"What this study seems to suggest is that, when circumstances for the task aren't very difficult, people who have additionalworking memory resources deploy them to think about things other than what they're doing," Smallwood said.
Missing moments
When our minds run out of working memory, these off-topic thoughts can take the main stage without us consciously meaning them to; for instance, arriving at home with no recollection of the actual trip, or suddenly realizing that they've turned several pages in a book without comprehending any of the words.
"It's almost like your attention was so absorbed in the mind wandering that there wasn't any left over to remember your goal to read," study researcher Daniel Levinson, a graduate student at the University of Wisconsin-Madison's Center for Investigating Healthy Minds, a part of the Waisman Center for Brain Imaging and Behavior, said in a statement.
People with overall higher working memory were better able to stay focused when the task at hand required it. Those who had low working memory often had their thoughts drift away from the task, and did less well at it.
The findings add to past research suggesting these mind drifts can be positive moments. For instance, daydreaming has often been associated with creativity — researchers think that our most creative and inventive moments come when daydreaming. It's likely that the most intelligent among us also have high levels of working memory, Levinson noted."

Well, given this, my brain must be in fantastic shape. :+)

“Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom.”---George S. Patton (1885-1945);

FACE BLIND?
I came across this today; did you know some people suffer from face blindness?  Sometimes from birth, there are people who ca.nnot recognize famous people, or even the faces of those from their own family.  I certainly don't know of anyone with Moebius Syndrome who has this condition.  And one wonders--suppose someone with face blindness met and got to know someone with Moebius.  Would that person still be unable to recognize him or her as time went on?  We are, after all, pretty memorable.  Read on--this story will also be featured this weekend on "60 Minutes":
"It is hard to imagine anyone being unable to recognize the face of their own mother, or child. But people who suffer from prosopagnosia, or face blindness, find it difficult or even impossible to recognize the faces of famous people like the president, A-list actors, people they have known for years -- even family members. Lesley Stahl talks to several people who are face blind, including Dr. Oliver Sacks, the renowned author and neurologist, the portrait artist Chuck Close, and scientists studying the condition, for a two-part 60 Minutes report to be broadcast Sunday, March 18 at 7 p.m. ET/PT.
The condition first got its name after World War II when a couple of soldiers with head wounds came back unable to recognize their wife or parents. And until recently, even the medical community was largely unaware that people could be born face blind. Many people go through their lives unaware the condition exists, and with no idea they have it.
 Stahl's report will explain face blindness -- how it is that someone can see a familiar face perfectly clearly yet not recognize it -- in several adults and a child who've had the condition their whole lives, as well as a woman who woke up face blind after surgery to remove a brain tumor. The second part of Stahl's report investigates how the scientific community is exploring where and how face recognition functions in the brain. Stahl also reports on an even lesser-known phenomenon that is the opposite of face blindness: super recognition. Super-recognizers, as they're known, can never forget a face -- even recognizing people they met casually (like a waiter or salesperson) more than a decade later, or instantly recognizing photographs of celebrities as young children.
 Dr. Sacks has written about his own struggles with face blindness recently, so that people will understand the condition and its symptoms, which can come across as just plain rudeness. "People do think you may be snubbing them or stupid or mad or inattentive," he tells Stahl. "That's why it's so important to recognize what one has, and to admit it."


“Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.”--Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790);

SOME RANDOM POINTS
Don't forget--when it comes to good health, try walking:
"The millions of people whose genes make them prone to obesity aren't at the mercy of nature. How they choose to spend their free time can make a big difference in their waistline, according to new research presented today at an American Heart Association (AHA) meeting in San Diego.
Watching TV for two hours each day increases the effect of certain obesity-related genes by as much as 25%, the researchers estimate.
If, on the other hand, people with a strong genetic predisposition to obesity spend one hour each day walking briskly or engaging in comparable exercise, they can halve the genes' effect."

And don't forget to get your sleep, either--going sleepless, too, can negatively affect your health:
"...intuition tells us that lack of sleep might contribute to our becoming overweight, but science has yet to confirm that connection or spell out exactly how it might work.
A new bit of evidence — albeit in the form of a very small, as-yet-unpublished study — supporting that link emerged today at an American Heart Association conference in San Diego.
Researchers from the Mayo Clinic observed 17 healthy young men and women (11 men, six women) ages 18 to 40 for 11 days and nights. For eight of those nights, half the group slept the amount of time they normally slept, while the others slept two-thirds of their accustomed time — an average of about 80 minutes less sleep per person per day. All were allowed to eat as much as they chose to. Their calorie consumption and expenditures were measured during the first three days of the study to establish a baseline and then throughout the sleep-deprivation period.
Those in the sleep-deprived group consumed an average of 549 more calories more per day than they did when on their regular sleep schedule. Neither the sleep-deprived group nor the control groups expended more calories during the eight-day study period."

There was an excellent essay written recently by a parent of a child with special needs, about just what it is like to be a mom in that situation (hat tip--FB friend April Johnson Saunders).  I bet many of you can identify with this mom--for example:
"I am human. I have been challenged and pushed beyond my limits in raising my son. I've grown tremendously as a person, and developed a soft heart and empathy for others in a way I never would have without him. But I'm just like the next mom in some ways. Sometimes I get cranky, my son irritates me, and sometimes I just want to flee to the spa or go shopping (and, um, I often do). I still have dreams and aspirations of my own. I travel, dance, am working on a novel, love good food, talk about dating. I watch Mad Men, and like a good cashmere sweater. Sometimes it's nice to escape and talk about all these other things. And if it seems that the rest of my life is all I talk about sometimes, it's because it can be hard to talk about my son."

Read the whole thing; it's interesting and heart-felt.

“Listen with an open heart and an open mind to those who love you the most. You may hear a grain of truth that will later become the foundation of your entire belief system. ”--Callie Khouri (born 1957)

SOME INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES
Sometimes, there's nothing like reading some quotes from famous--and even not-so-famous--people to get us thinking; and living.

“Do you not see how necessary a world of pains and troubles is to school an intelligence and make it a soul?”--John Keats (1795-1821)

No wonder so many of the persons I've met with Moebius Syndrome are some of the deepest, and most soulful, persons I've met.

“Happiness is a how, not a what; a talent, not an object. ”--Hermann Hesse (1877-1962)

You have to be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  You have to work sometimes to make your life, your reality, better. 

"You must act as if it is impossible to fail." -Ashanti Proverb

We must act, and do; and not be afraid.  Easier to say sometimes than to do; the important thing is to try.

That should be plenty to cogitate on for one day. :+)

SOME GOOD NEWS--FROM WALGREEN'S
They're trying very hard to be more inclusive in their hiring towards persons with disabilities:
"Walgreens is expanding its efforts to employ people with disabilities, with a new focus on inclusion at retail stores.
The national drugstore chain, which first embraced inclusion with a goal of having employees with disabilities make up 10 percent of its distribution center workforce, is rapidly bringing the concept to the storefront.
Through a pilot program that began in Texas, Walgreens is partnering with local service providers to identify and train those with disabilities for jobs as cashiers and other retail positions, company officials said.
The program is currently in place in Dallas, Houston, Chicago and New York as well as parts of Wisconsin and Connecticut, according to Walgreens spokeswoman Vivika Panagiotakakos who indicated that further expansion is expected.
Though the drugstore is behind the training initiative, some participants accept jobs at other retailers as well, said Panagiotakakos who characterized the initiative as “very successful.”
In addition to actively hiring more people with disabilities, Walgreens has become a model for other large companies as well. Last year, Proctor & Gamble cited Walgreens’ example when they announced that at least 30 percent of employees at a new packaging facility in Maine would be people with physical or developmental disabilities.
While welcome by many in the disability community, the corporate inclusion efforts are far from the norm. Americans with disabilities faced a 15.8 percent unemployment rate in February, according to the U.S. Department of Labor — significantly higher than the 8.3 percent jobless rate experienced by the general population."

Slowly, awareness is spreading.  Jobs are out there for you.  Go out and get 'em!

"If you paint in your mind a picture of bright & happy
expectations, you put yourself into a condition conducive
to your goal." -Peale

ATTENTION MOMS AND DADS:  YOU CAN HELP DEVELOP YOUR CHILD'S BRAIN
And here's how:
"... let me describe a recent study in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences that more definitively than any before it shows how parental care literally changes not just kids’ hearts and minds, but their brains as well.
Here’s how the study was done. Researchers at Washington University in St. Louis recruited 92 children between the ages of 3 and 6. Rather than asking parents about how they treated their children, the researchers brought the kids and parents into a lab and videotaped them as the parents, almost always mothers, tried to help their children cope with a mildly stressful task that was designed to approximate the stress of daily parenting.
Ratings of parental ability to nurture their children were done by study personnel who watched the videos while knowing nothing about either children or parents. Several years later, on average, the children had the size of a brain area called the hippocampus measured using magnetic resonance imaging (MRI). After taking into account a whole range of factors that can affect hippocampal size, the researchers found that children with especially nurturing, caring mothers, based on their behavior during the laboratory stressor, had significantly larger hippocampi (plural of hippocampus - you’ve got one on each side of the brain) than kids with mothers who were average or poor nurturers.
Why is this finding important? Because more than any place else in the brain, when it comes to the hippocampus, size matters. Other things being equal, having small hippocampi increases your risk for all sorts of troubles, from depression and post traumatic stress disorder to Alzheimer’s disease. If you’ve got depression, having small hippocampi predicts that you won’t respond as well to antidepressants as well as depressed people with larger hippocampi to antidepressants.
Just as having small hippocampi increases the risk for all sorts of mental disorders, all the things in our lives that put us under undue stress and strain also shrink the hippocampus. This is as true for cigarette smoking as it is for being exposed as a child to abuse or parental neglect.
In addition to protecting us against brain illnesses, we all need big hippocampi because this brain area, while not much bigger than your little finger, plays a disproportionately large role in how you will be able to handle the stresses and strains of your life, and how you will remember your life when it’s all said and done. This is so because the hippocampus is crucial for our ability to form and store personal memories. It is also of central importance for restraining the body’s stress and inflammatory responses, both of which can induce significant damage to bodily organs and the brain if not properly reined in.
The finding that especially nurturing mothers can literally grow their children’s hippocampi doesn’t exist in isolation. It is consistent with hundreds of animal studies showing that maternal nurturing has a range of biological effects relevant to physical and emotional health. An especially striking example of this is a study done several years ago in rodents showing that maternal nurturance (measured as amount of licking that rat pups received from their mothers) literally changed how the rat pups’ DNA was expressed in the hippocampus. As a result of these changes, pups who received extra licking had changes in their stress systems that have been repeatedly associated with well-being in humans."


“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. ”--Oscar Wilde (1854-1900

WANT TO LEARN TO SOCIALIZE BETTER?  WATCH OTHERS
This young man with Asperger's has done exactly that, and it's helped him--here's how:
"David Finch has Asperger’s syndrome and struggled to identify with others socially. That is, until he started taking cues from the likes of Howard Stern and David Letterman.
Finch — who recently penned a book about his experience as an adult newly-diagnosed with Asperger’s — said he learned different things from each talk show host he observed.
Stern, for example, can keep a story going for 30 minutes or more on his radio show, continually peeking listeners’ interest by changing his tone. Even when interrupted, the shock jock uses humor to bring the conversation back to his story, Finch says.
Meanwhile, from Letterman, Finch learned to use facial expressions and other body language to get points across.
It took some practice, but Finch says he eventually learned to model the talk show hosts’ techniques for his own benefit.
“I always thought conversations were overrated. But now that I could actually do it, I thought it was really cool,” Finch told The New York Post."

To read more about this story, go here.

And I very much agree with Mr. Finch. I've done the same kinds of things he has, though on a smaller scale.  I teach history at the college level for a living.  So part of what you do as a teacher is you present history in a classroom setting to college students.  That is, you speak in front of them.  You lecture.  Of course, I can't use facial expressions to "reach" people.  But that doesn't mean you can't reach them.  There are many other things you can do.  I've found that you have to show energy.  You have to move around.  You have to use different voice inflections, sometimes speaking loudly (if for nothing elsed than to wake people up!), but then at times you have to quiet down.  You have to have good pace;you can't speak too fast.  Indeed, sometimes it's good to go slowly; that way people can easily keep up with you.

And all these things are points I learned...from watching other teachers; from watching speakers on video, or listening to people on the radio.  It doesn't really matter that much who it is; any of you out there can tell who's a good speaker, who holds your attention.  So...watch them.  Pay attention to them.  What do they do, that maybe you can do as well?  That's what you want to watch for.  Because oalways remember, those of you with Moebius Syndrome--you go to school, you have jobs.  And when that's the case, there are going to be times when you're going to have to speak in front of people.  And you can do it!  And you can do it effectively.  Just find some techniques that will work for you.


“The problems of the world cannot possibly be solved by skeptics or cynics whose horizons are limited by the obvious realities. We need men who can dream of things that never were.  ”--John F. Kennedy (1917-1963

TROUBLING FINDINGS
But one answer to it--though not the only one--continues to be a simple one:  spreading awareness.  We're here.  We're humans.  We're more like you "normal" people than you think.  And we deserve fair treatment.  But meanwhile, here's the troubling news:
"Adults with disabilities are significantly more likely to be victims of violence than those who are typically developing, according to a new global analysis.

Those with disabilities experience physical or sexual attacks at one-and-a-half times the rate of their typically developing peers. Meanwhile, individuals with mental illness face a four times greater risk than the general population.
The findings come from a report published online Tuesday in the journal The Lancet that reviewed 26 studies examining the experiences of 21,500 people with physical and mental disabilities from seven countries — the United States, Australia, Canada, New Zealand, Taiwan, the United Kingdom and South Africa.
Overall, the analysis indicated that about 3 percent of individuals with physical, mental, emotional or health difficulties were victims of violence in the last year. But the rate was double — 6 percent — for those with intellectual disabilities.
And the risk is likely to be even higher than the analysis suggests, according to those behind the report.
“Lifetime exposure to violence, and the proportions of individuals with disability who are directly threatened with violence or otherwise live in fear of becoming a victim, are likely to be substantially higher than our estimate,” said Mark Bellis of Liverpool John Moores University in England, who led the study.
The researchers behind the report said further data is needed to better understand the true problem facing those with disabilities worldwide, particularly in low and middle-income countries."

“Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever. ”
Lance Armstrong (born 1971)

LIKING YOURSELF JUST THE WAY YOU ARE
What?  Even professional models have self-esteem issues?  Companies now don't even want to use real models in their ads--they fear their bodies aren't good enough?  Really?  But it's true.  And so not only do those with Moebius Syndrome need to feel good about how they look, need to accept themselves as they are, shucks--so does everyone, it seems.  Here's some ideas on how:

"You know it's tough out there when fashion and beauty executives think that even a model's body isn't good enough to sell clothes or that a celebrity's natural face isn't up to par, even with makeup.

The website Jezebel reported in early December that Swedish retailing giant H&M featured images on its website of lingerie shown on "completely virtual" computer-generated bodies with real models' heads superimposed on top. Meanwhile the British Advertising Standards Authority banned two makeup ads in 2011 featuring Christy Turlington and Julia Roberts because they thought too much airbrushing made the ads misleading, and CoverGirl pulled a mascara ad after a U.S. watchdog agency questioned product claims and post-production enhancement of the photo.

An H&M official defended his company's practice, saying "It's not about ideals or to show off a perfect body … we are doing this to show off the garments."

But faced with an onslaught of digitally enhanced or photo-shopped images, many girls and women find it challenging not to compare and despair. In a currently airing public service announcement produced by the Alliance for Women in Media and the Dove Self-Esteem campaign, broadcaster Lisa Ling cites Dove research that found only 4% of women around the world think they're beautiful.

Even celebrities lauded for their beauty — such as Jane Fonda and Megan Fox — have admitted to insecurities about their looks. "Glee's" Leah Michele says she was told she'd never make it because of her nose, and some stars have acknowledged eating disorders. "I get a very interesting perspective because I work with the most beautiful women in the world who don't always view themselves as the most beautiful women in the world," says celebrity makeup artist Sam Fine, the creative makeup director for Fashion Fair Cosmetics who's also been a spokesman for Revlon and CoverGirl, worked on myriad magazine covers and done make-up for renowned beauties such as Iman and Vanessa Williams.

Fine's solution is to use makeup to bring attention to the person's favorite feature. "If you want to bring attention from your smaller lips to your bigger eyes, then that means a lash and a beautiful brow … you can also de-emphasize areas with contour," he says, adding that in many ways there's a growing diversity in the beauty industry. "Don't compare yourself to someone else's standard of beauty," Fine says. "Realize that your eyes aren't Iman's eyes, but we can bring out your eyes, your beauty."

But sometimes makeup isn't enough. A change in thinking is called for.

"It's very normal for people to be unhappy with their appearance," psychologist Sabine Wilhelm says.

Wilhelm is an expert on what happens when this dissatisfaction is taken to an extreme, when people have such raging negativity about their looks that it "really interferes with having a good life." As an example she cites "someone who says, 'I'm just too ugly to go out today because my skin broke out.'"

About 2% of the population has what's called Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD), she says, in which minor imperfections are perceived as major and cause stress out of proportion to the reality. Wilhelm knows this territory well. She is director of both the obsessive compulsive and related disorders program and the cognitive-behavior therapy program at Massachusetts General Hospital/Harvard Medical School, where she is an associate professor of psychology, and founder of the hospital's BDD clinic and research unit. She wrote a book about the issue, "Feeling Good About the Way You Look: A Program for Overcoming Body Image Problems."

Her techniques for working with BDD patients can be translated into advice for others who are trying to feel more confident about their looks.

Acknowledge that negative thoughts may not be reality: Consider this example: A person may spend hours per day thinking about a scar that, in fact, no one else notices. This is a disconnect between the person's body image and actual appearance.

"Very often patients with body image concerns engage in a lot of mind reading. They automatically assume that other people are reacting negatively to them even though they have no evidence for that whatsoever," Wilhelm says. Think everyone looking at you is thinking how big your nose is? "Examine how helpful, accurate or valid your thinking is," Wilhelm says. "Ask, 'Is there any other thing that supermarket clerk might have been thinking when he smiled at me?' Well yeah, he may have just been being a friendly guy.... The world doesn't revolve around your nose. That particular approach is called 'cognitive restructuring' — learning to step back from your thoughts and evaluate them more critically."

Inventory all your assets: Many with body image issues selectively focus on whatever body part they dislike. In therapy, Wilhelm helps patients see a broader perspective and shift the emphasis away from appearance to other assets. Often, she says, people with body image issues disregard their other talents. Perhaps the client sings beautifully, writes poetry, has a terrific work ethic, is really smart or is a good daughter or friend.

"The average person doesn't have just one dimension that they base their self-worth on," Wilhelm says. "There are many facets of yourself that you can draw self-esteem from."

Cut down on appearance rituals: Wilhelm's patients might say that they feel better if they apply four layers of concealer before going out, but the good feeling is short-term. In the long run, the routine traps them and keeps the anxiety going. One therapeutic solution is to reduce grooming rituals that are based on the belief that it's important to hide or fix problems.

"We talk about whether those appearance rituals or avoidance behaviors have really helped them or not. Often the answer is no," Wilhelm says.

Learn to be objective: Wilhelm says that BDD sufferers have "all or nothing" thinking. They divide people into two categories: beautiful or ugly, models or monsters. One perceived flaw makes the difference.

A practical mirror exercise keeps the person from zooming in to focus on the body part causing concern — big ears, say — by instead standing in front of the mirror and describing herself from top to bottom in very objective, nonjudgmental terms: "I'm 5 feet 8, my hair is brown, my eyes are green."

Embrace your unique beauty: Lauren Hutton's gap teeth, Cindy Crawford's mole, Barbra Streisand's nose, India Arie's natural hair, Angelina Jolie's lips and even Kim Kardashian's derriere — these are all things that veered from current standards of beauty but that became assets.

Wilhelm says that people with body image issues interpret their "uniqueness" in a totally different way. "They might think, 'I look different, therefore I have a deformity and therefore I'm abnormal, ashamed.' And then they engage in all kinds of appearance-fixing behaviors, even to the point of cosmetic surgery," she says.

People with a real disfigurement may feel increased self-esteem after surgery, but people with BDD who have surgery to correct a perceived flaw "often don't feel any better about their appearance," she says. "Surgery is definitely not the answer because in cases like this, the flaw is not a physical one; it's an internal problem.... In therapy, people really learn to expose those things that they're struggling with. We reduce [a woman's] avoidance behavior by having her flaunt her nose, so to speak, but we also examine her thinking around the nose and show her nothing bad is going to happen if you take the risk" of showing it off.

Getting professional help: For that small percentage of people who aren't simply insecure but who do have BDD, it's important to get professional help. The condition is often accompanied by depression that can lead to suicidal thoughts and substance abuse.

Wilhelm says that it is not uncommon for people to think that a loved one is merely vain when the problem is actually BDD. "These issues start around adolescence and usually won't go away without professional help," she says.

"Don't get stuck in an argument with them about whether the flaw is real or not," she advises. Instead, focus on the person's suffering and address it directly. For instance, say you've noticed how much they're struggling or how anxious and sad they seem. Say, for example, "Honey I've noticed that you spend an awful lot of time in front of the mirror and you keep asking me about your hair several times a day," or "I've noticed that you're not going out with your friends as much."

To a teenager, Wilhelm suggests following with, "I'm worried that you have a problem and that you need professional help." For an adult, you might provide a book on the subject and say, "You may have a problem called Body Dysmorphic Disorder, and here I have a book for you. Why don't you take a look at it and see if any of the descriptions sound familiar?"

The good news? "There is actually really good treatment out there now," she says, citing cognitive behavior and pharmaceutical therapy."



“Aim for success, not perfection. Never give up your right to be wrong, because then you will lose the ability to learn new things and move forward with your life. ”--Dr. David M. Burns

FOR ALL YOU MOEBIUS MEN OUT THERE ON THE DATING SCENE
What do many women want?  Here's some info that can help--get iu touch with your emotions:
"Women can be difficult to understand, some men say, but new empathy research indicates that to keep a woman happy, their partners just need to try to understand their emotions, not necessarily succeed at it.

Men, on the other hand, just want to know whether their significant other is happy. If they notice that their partner is unhappy, and is possibly about to initiate a split, the thought decreases their relationship happiness. Women's happiness, however, is not dampened by a partner's dissatisfied emotions.
"It could be that for women, seeing that their male partner is upset reflects some degree of the man’s investment and emotional engagement in the relationship, even during difficult times," study researcher Shiri Cohen of Harvard Medical School, said in a statement.
So, the fact their partner is experiencing any emotion, even a negative one, is still good news to women, Cohen said: "This is consistent with what is known about the dissatisfaction women often experience when their male partner becomes emotionally withdrawn and disengaged in response to conflict."
Researchers studied 156 couples (102 younger couples from Boston and 54 older, suburban couples), all in committed relationships. Seventy-one percent of couples were white, 56 percent were married, and couples had been together for 3.5 years on average.
The participants described and discussed a recent argument with their partner. The researchers recorded this discussion and picked 30-second clips of negative and positive emotions from each partner. The clips were played back and the participants answered questionnaires about their own feelings, what they thought their partner was feeling, and their relationship satisfaction.
In those couples in which men understood that their female partner was angry or upset, the women reported higher relationship satisfaction. In fact, even when the guy got it wrong, saying a partner was content when she was upset, women reported high relationship satisfaction as long as she felt he was trying to understand her. (This ability to empathize, or understand another's emotions, has been shown in past research to boost relationship satisfaction.)
The accuracy of these estimations really only came into play when men were asked about their emotional happiness: Men who accurately guessed their partner's happy feelings were more satisfied with their relationships. Men who accurately understood their partner's negative emotions, which can signal an impending breakup, had lower relationship satisfaction. [10 Facts About a Man's Brain]
"When working with couples, it seems particularly important for therapists to help both partners, especially males, heighten the empathic connection around reading one another’s positive emotions," the researchers write in the Feb. 27 issue of the Journal of Family Psychology. "Helping partners attune to negative emotions may be particularly important, especially for women, as understanding a partner’s distress may foster healthy repair of connection."

WHY NO BLOG POST YESTERDAY
Well, that was because there was some baby news down this way.  My wife for days had seemingly been ready to have our baby; still, she had not come.  So we had gone ahead and scheduled here to be induced into labor this coming Friday.  Of course, we kept saying that the induction would happen--if the baby didn't come before then.  But I don't think we really thought the baby would come early. 

But sure enough, babies have ways of making their own schedules. Our daughter, Sophie Elizabeth Smant, entered the world at 4:58 am on Monday, March 5th (after a 3:30 am drive to the hospital with nervous daddy driving carefully). We got checked in by 4 am; the baby came before 5 am. No waiting around! The baby is 6 lbs, 9 oz; mother and baby doing fine; daddy about to get ready to go teach his class tonight. What a day! Watch out, guys; the cutest girl in the world has arrived (not that I'm biased or anything). Lisa Erickson Smant did a fab job, she gets all the credit. I'm a lucky guy. :+)  So Monday was a busy, but exciting day.  Birth truly is a miracle.

“Create the highest, grandest vision possible for your life because you become what you believe. ”
Oprah Winfrey (born 1954