BOOK TALK
So the other day I mentioned that I'd been reading Lucy Grealy's book, titled AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A FACE. (Here's a link to some good info about it, if you have not read it.) And it truly was a remarkable book. Grealy contracted cancer in her jaw when she was about nine years old. She wound up, by the end of her life, having to endure something like 38 surgeries. At one point half of her jaw was removed. Obviously she was a woman, then, who for much of her life lived with a major facial difference. She was teased. People stared. She at times hated herself for being supposedly "ugly."
But at the same time, in many ways, she persevered. She became a writer. She attended some elite institutions, became a writer, published poetry, and eventually wrote her book about her life and her struggles. It sold well. She became a minor celebrity for a time, appearing on CNN and the "Today" show, and made some decent money. When she published her book, her face looked better; and, more importantly, it appeared Lucy was coming to accept herself and her face.
But you should also read this book--Ann Patchett's Truth and Beauty. Patchett was one of Lucy's best friends. On the one hand, her book is a tale of love and devotion, as Ann loyally stuck by and helped Lucy through endless surgeries, recoveries, and times of trouble (the two met in graduate school and instantly became very close friends). But, sadly, the book also gives us other, more difficult lessons. For Lucy Grealy, despite all her accomplishments, could never quite accept her life, and who and what she was. Perhaps asking for that acceptance would have been too much to ask, in any case. After all, she wasn't born with a facial difference. Instead, the cancer hit her suddenly, and changed her life forever, just as she was entering important years of development. Her father died when she was in her teens. One suspects she never quite got over it. Her mother was so affected by Lucy's suffering, had such a hard time dealing with it, that she taught Lucy that it was a bad thing to cry as a result of her pain--even though it was sometimes excruciating. Lucy at times ignored her facial difference, almost seemed to want to forget she had it (I suspect sometimes we with Moebius do that). But of course it always came back to her.
Most importantly, I thought, was that Lucy always sought to find a perfect, romantic true love with a special man. She found sex and relationships. But she never found what she could believe was that True Love. In the end, she believed the reason why she could not find it...was that she supposedly was still "ugly." And that made her hate herself and her life all over again; it led to drug and alcohol abuse, and eventually Lucy died, at only 39 years of age (in 2002) from it all.
And that can't help but leave one sad. I'm sure Lucy and her friends wouldn't want it that way. They'd urge us to remember all that she accomplished, all the difficulties she pushed through, and to focus on that. And of course we should. But I guess we also should say that her life teaches us that we of course need to do our best, to seek self-improvement, to have dreams and to try and fulfill them. But we also need to accept ourselves, celebrate it, even; and to remember that people who have the relationships we do and the friends we have and the accomplishments that we have are those who are worth having around. Accept yourself. Easy to say, of course. Is it sometimes hard to do? Well...what is it Lady GaGa sings about these days? "I was born this way..." That's more true than maybe even she knows. You were born this way...and you're making the most of it. :+)
"Success is the child of drudgery and perseverance. It cannot
be coaxed or bribed; pay the price and it is yours." -O.S. Marden
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
AN INSPIRATIONAL STORY
Have any of you ever heard of Jim Abbott? He pitched in the major leagues. But he did not have a right hand:
"Jim Abbott has battled the odds his entire life. Despite being born with only one hand he was the 15th player to ever make a professional debut in the Major Leagues. Many considered the move a publicity stunt, but after struggling early, Abbott proved his doubters wrong by winning 12 games with a 3.92 ERA in his rookie season.
On the mound, Abbott wore a right-hander's fielder's glove at the end of his right arm. While completing his follow-through after delivering a pitch, he rapidly switched the glove to his left hand so he could handle any balls hit back to him. In that first 1989 season as a professional he won more games as a rookie than any other previous player without Major League experience.
Abbott spent hours as a youngster bouncing a ball off a wall to practice fielding as well as throwing. He was the starting quarterback on his high school football team, which went to the semi-finals of the Michigan state championship, and he showed enough promise as a pitcher to be drafted by the Toronto Blue Jays shortly after graduation.
However, Abbott went to the University of Michigan on a baseball scholarship. Abbott led the Wolverines to Big Ten titles in his freshmen and junior years and won the prestigious Golden Spikes Award, presented annually to the outstanding college baseball player in the United States.He had a career record of 26 wins and 8 losses at the school.
As a member of Team USA in 1987, he became the first American pitcher in 25 years to beat a Cuban team on Cuban soil. The team won a silver medal at the Pan-American Games and Abbott won the U. S. Baseball Federation's Golden Spikes award as the best amateur player in the country.
Abbott participated in the 1988 Summer Olympic Games, pitching a complete game seven hitter, leading the United States to the Gold Medal in a 5-3 victory over Japan. The United States first ever, gold medal in Olympic Baseball competition.
He then joined the California Angels following the Olympics. Jim made his pro debut in spring training and made it to the Major Leagues without playing in the minor leagues, which was the beginning of a tremendous Major League career. His most famous highpoint is perhaps throwing a no-hitter for the New York Yankees at Yankee Stadium in 1993.
His baseball achievements include the Sullivan Award (best amateur athlete in the United States), male athlete of the year for the 1988 Olympic Games, and many awards at Michigan including the Jesse Owens Athlete of the year.
But the awards that best define Jim Abbott would be those that exemplify courage and overcoming adversity.
March of Dimes Athlete of the Year (twice)
Academy Awards of Sports, Courage Award
1991 Victory Award recipient at the Kennedy Center Washington D.C.
Freedom Forum's Free Spirit Award
Today Jim Abbott is a professional motivational speaker. He has been featured in USA Today, Newsweek, Time, Sports Illustrated, Parade Magazine, People, and Baseball America. He has been featured during Olympic coverage, and has appeared on ESPN, Good Morning America, CNN, Larry King, Phil Donahue, George Michael Sports Machine, NBC Nightly News, ABC News Person of the Week, Late Night with David Letterman, and the ABC television series Boy Meets World.
Jim Abbott was invited to throw out the first pitch at game 7 of the 2002 World Series and recently participated in his first Yankees Old Timers Day."
"Success is dependent upon the glands -- sweat glands."
-Zig Ziglar
Have any of you ever heard of Jim Abbott? He pitched in the major leagues. But he did not have a right hand:
"Jim Abbott has battled the odds his entire life. Despite being born with only one hand he was the 15th player to ever make a professional debut in the Major Leagues. Many considered the move a publicity stunt, but after struggling early, Abbott proved his doubters wrong by winning 12 games with a 3.92 ERA in his rookie season.
On the mound, Abbott wore a right-hander's fielder's glove at the end of his right arm. While completing his follow-through after delivering a pitch, he rapidly switched the glove to his left hand so he could handle any balls hit back to him. In that first 1989 season as a professional he won more games as a rookie than any other previous player without Major League experience.
Abbott spent hours as a youngster bouncing a ball off a wall to practice fielding as well as throwing. He was the starting quarterback on his high school football team, which went to the semi-finals of the Michigan state championship, and he showed enough promise as a pitcher to be drafted by the Toronto Blue Jays shortly after graduation.
However, Abbott went to the University of Michigan on a baseball scholarship. Abbott led the Wolverines to Big Ten titles in his freshmen and junior years and won the prestigious Golden Spikes Award, presented annually to the outstanding college baseball player in the United States.He had a career record of 26 wins and 8 losses at the school.
As a member of Team USA in 1987, he became the first American pitcher in 25 years to beat a Cuban team on Cuban soil. The team won a silver medal at the Pan-American Games and Abbott won the U. S. Baseball Federation's Golden Spikes award as the best amateur player in the country.
Abbott participated in the 1988 Summer Olympic Games, pitching a complete game seven hitter, leading the United States to the Gold Medal in a 5-3 victory over Japan. The United States first ever, gold medal in Olympic Baseball competition.
He then joined the California Angels following the Olympics. Jim made his pro debut in spring training and made it to the Major Leagues without playing in the minor leagues, which was the beginning of a tremendous Major League career. His most famous highpoint is perhaps throwing a no-hitter for the New York Yankees at Yankee Stadium in 1993.
His baseball achievements include the Sullivan Award (best amateur athlete in the United States), male athlete of the year for the 1988 Olympic Games, and many awards at Michigan including the Jesse Owens Athlete of the year.
But the awards that best define Jim Abbott would be those that exemplify courage and overcoming adversity.
March of Dimes Athlete of the Year (twice)
Academy Awards of Sports, Courage Award
1991 Victory Award recipient at the Kennedy Center Washington D.C.
Freedom Forum's Free Spirit Award
Today Jim Abbott is a professional motivational speaker. He has been featured in USA Today, Newsweek, Time, Sports Illustrated, Parade Magazine, People, and Baseball America. He has been featured during Olympic coverage, and has appeared on ESPN, Good Morning America, CNN, Larry King, Phil Donahue, George Michael Sports Machine, NBC Nightly News, ABC News Person of the Week, Late Night with David Letterman, and the ABC television series Boy Meets World.
Jim Abbott was invited to throw out the first pitch at game 7 of the 2002 World Series and recently participated in his first Yankees Old Timers Day."
"Success is dependent upon the glands -- sweat glands."
-Zig Ziglar
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
JOB INTERVIEW TIPS
Some of my Moebius friends on Facebook the other day were discussing job interviews, how to deal with them effectively and land that job you need, etc. These of course are stressful for persons with Moebius Syndrome or a facial difference. How will your prospective employer react to you, to the way you look, the way you sound? Will he or she be able to understand you? Will they dismiss your candidacy the minute you walk out the door after the interview? I can remember how nervous I was when I did interviews in my past. I always seemed to get through them okay, I guess...when I was younger, I never discussed or mentioned my having Moebius. Ijust brazened it out. Later on, I did start volunteering to mention it, and I think it's a good thing. Your prospective employer doesn't have to wonder why you look different, etc. I was also fortunate to get a job early on, and to build up a record, of some success, of having done the job. I think that helps; that is, when you can point to a history of having done good work. That way your employer doesn't have to wonder if you can do the work; you have shown that you can.
But still---there's still that interview to go through. How can you ace it? Here's some tips:
"Job interviewing never seems to get any easier - even when you have gone on more interviews than you can count. You are meeting new people, selling yourself and your skills, and often getting the third degree about what you know or don't know. Here are job interview tips to help prepare you to interview effectively. Proper preparation which help alleviate some of the stress involved in job interviews.
Job Interview Tips
Practice
Practice answering interview questions and practice your responses to the typical job interview questions and answers most employers ask. Think of actual examples you can use to describe your skills. Providing evidence of your successes is a great way to promote your candidacy.
Prepare
Prepare a response so you are ready for the question "What do you know about our company. Know the interviewer's name and use it during the job interview. If you're not sure of the name, call and ask prior to the interview. Try to relate what you know about the company when answering questions.
Get Ready
Make sure your interview attire is neat, tidy and appropriate for the type of firm you are interviewing with. Bring a nice portfolio with copies of your resume. Include a pen and paper for note taking.
Be On Time
Be on time for the interview. On time means five to ten minutes early. If need be, take some time to drive to the office ahead of time so you know exactly where you are going and how long it will take to get there.
Stay Calm
During the job interview try to relax and stay as calm possible. Take a moment to regroup. Maintain eye contact with the interviewer. Listen to the entire question before you answer and pay attention - you will be embarrassed if you forget the question!
Show What You Know
Try to relate what you know about the company when answering questions. When discussing your career accomplishments match them to what the company is looking for.
Follow Up
Always follow-up with a thank you note reiterating your interest in the position. If you interview with multiple people send each one a thank you note."
"If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to
be a horrible warning." -Catherine Franklin
Some of my Moebius friends on Facebook the other day were discussing job interviews, how to deal with them effectively and land that job you need, etc. These of course are stressful for persons with Moebius Syndrome or a facial difference. How will your prospective employer react to you, to the way you look, the way you sound? Will he or she be able to understand you? Will they dismiss your candidacy the minute you walk out the door after the interview? I can remember how nervous I was when I did interviews in my past. I always seemed to get through them okay, I guess...when I was younger, I never discussed or mentioned my having Moebius. Ijust brazened it out. Later on, I did start volunteering to mention it, and I think it's a good thing. Your prospective employer doesn't have to wonder why you look different, etc. I was also fortunate to get a job early on, and to build up a record, of some success, of having done the job. I think that helps; that is, when you can point to a history of having done good work. That way your employer doesn't have to wonder if you can do the work; you have shown that you can.
But still---there's still that interview to go through. How can you ace it? Here's some tips:
"Job interviewing never seems to get any easier - even when you have gone on more interviews than you can count. You are meeting new people, selling yourself and your skills, and often getting the third degree about what you know or don't know. Here are job interview tips to help prepare you to interview effectively. Proper preparation which help alleviate some of the stress involved in job interviews.
Job Interview Tips
Practice
Practice answering interview questions and practice your responses to the typical job interview questions and answers most employers ask. Think of actual examples you can use to describe your skills. Providing evidence of your successes is a great way to promote your candidacy.
Prepare
Prepare a response so you are ready for the question "What do you know about our company. Know the interviewer's name and use it during the job interview. If you're not sure of the name, call and ask prior to the interview. Try to relate what you know about the company when answering questions.
Get Ready
Make sure your interview attire is neat, tidy and appropriate for the type of firm you are interviewing with. Bring a nice portfolio with copies of your resume. Include a pen and paper for note taking.
Be On Time
Be on time for the interview. On time means five to ten minutes early. If need be, take some time to drive to the office ahead of time so you know exactly where you are going and how long it will take to get there.
Stay Calm
During the job interview try to relax and stay as calm possible. Take a moment to regroup. Maintain eye contact with the interviewer. Listen to the entire question before you answer and pay attention - you will be embarrassed if you forget the question!
Show What You Know
Try to relate what you know about the company when answering questions. When discussing your career accomplishments match them to what the company is looking for.
Follow Up
Always follow-up with a thank you note reiterating your interest in the position. If you interview with multiple people send each one a thank you note."
"If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to
be a horrible warning." -Catherine Franklin
Monday, June 27, 2011
WAYS TO FOCUS YOUR WANDERING MIND
We just love brain talk. And research shows that one of our biggest issues with our brain is our tendency to let our mind wander...to lack focus. Unsurprisingly, one of the reasons having an unfocused brain is important is because...it makes us unhappy. We don't get things done. But there are ways to do better:
"How much of the time do you spend living in the present moment?
If you're like most of the people who attend my lectures on mindfulness, your mind wanders a lot. The To-Do list... What's for lunch?... Last night's argument... Pick up the dog at the vet... How's Mom doing?
An endless stream of thoughts flows through our minds. And if your mind is wandering right now — come on back and wrap your mind around this: Trying to develop better focus is a more important goal than you might think.
A study published in the journal Science revealed how distracted most of us are, and the price we pay for it. The research, done at Harvard University, found that people in the study were thinking about something other than what they were doing a whopping 47% of the time!
The researchers, led by Matthew A. Killingsworth, PhD, and Daniel T. Gilbert, Ph.D, surveyed 2,250 iPhone users (ages 18-88; average age 34) by calling them at random moments and asking them what they were doing, what they were thinking about and what they were feeling.
When subjects were paying full attention to what they were doing, they were more likely to report feeling happy. In fact, paying attention or not paying attention to what they were doing had more of an impact on reported happiness than what particular activity they were engaged in. However, there were a few activities that people enjoyed (and paid attention to) a lot more than others.
Any guesses?
Yes, topping the list of 22 activities in terms of attention was making love, followed by talking to other people, and then exercising. At the bottom were resting, spending time on the computer (uh oh!), and working. The type of distracted thinking the subjects engaged in also had an influence on their happiness.
Not surprisingly, entertaining unpleasant thoughts made people especially unhappy. Brooding thoughts, obsessive thoughts, worry thoughts, "what if?" thoughts—these are the food that unhappiness feasts on. These thoughts fuel anxiety, depression, and other negative mood states. How to be caught the happiness bug.
This research highlights the powerful emotional impact of flow, the state we are in when we are deeply absorbed in an activity. The concept of flow was first described and popularized by psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Ph.D.
Whether we're making love or making a meal, painting a portrait or painting the house, running our business or running a marathon, when we are in a state of flow, we tend to feel happy. We barely notice the passage of time or the outside world; we are in the moment and totally into the task at hand. The better focus we have, the easier it is for us to enter a state of flow.
The research also points to the importance of mindfulness, an intentionally generated state of focused attention that also boosts happiness. In the last decade, neuroscientists have discovered how living mindfully in the present re-wires our brains for joy. Over time, practicing mindfulness increases activity in the left-prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain most active in happy people. We all have the potential for clear-minded happiness, but in our high-distraction culture, many of us have to work at developing it.
Learn how to meditate and rewire your brain for happiness
If you tend to have a wandering mind, there are several ways you can enhance your ability to be more present:
Get into the flow. In your free time, choose activities that bring you fully into the present: Walking in nature, stimulating hobbies or crafts that require focused attention, exercise or sports, or simply spending with other people for conversation and camaraderie. When you are working, give yourself opportunities to be fully absorbed in each of your activities — to the extent that you can, arrange your schedule so you can work on single tasks for long periods of time.
Uni-task, don't multitask. Avoid the temptation to multitask — studies show that it's not an efficient way to get things done. If you get restless doing just one activity, move between two or three activities, giving each one your full attention for 10-15 minutes at a time, rather than trying to do multiple things at once. Take a walk — mindfully.
Usually we walk with the intention of getting somewhere. Walking mindfully is about being somewhere, and developing your capacity to be fully present. As you walk, let your attention focus on the sights, sounds, scents, and sensations of the world around you. Notice what you feel in your body as you move.
Intentionally tuning into your present moment experience helps you improve your ability to focus.
Allocate separate blocks of time to plan, problem-solve, create, and strategize. Use a journal and to-do list to keep track of your ideas. If you dedicate a specific time each day for planning, problem-solving, and even worrying, you'll be less likely to be distracted by those mental activities at other times of the day.
If you spend too much time brooding or obsessing, set a time limit. Most brooding is unproductive and just makes you miserable, but it can be hard to break the habit. If you notice yourself worrying or ruminating over something, give yourself 5-10 minutes of worry time. If you haven't worked the problem out in 5-10 minutes, additional time brooding is not likely to help.
When the time is up, simply get up and do something else. You could call a friend, take a walk, read a book or magazine, or do a chore. In time, you'll find yourself overthinking less, and enjoying life more."
I think the best advice given above is--if you want to work on several things at a time, to sort of "multi-task", the key is to work on one thing at a time. Spend 15 minutes working on a task. Then move to the next one, focusing only on it. And so on. One needs to be totally focused on whatever one is doing. And we with Moebius Syndrome can do this. We all know what leads to Moebius--a couple of the nerves running from your brain to your face don't work right. But that doesn't mean that our brains are weaker...
On the contrary, I think we have powerful brains. Look at how we have to compensate for what we have. But we find ways to do it. I for example can see out of both of my eyes. But I can only use one at a time. So when I drive a car, for example, I'm constantly switching between eyes and moving my eyes around, so I can see as much as I can of the road, traffic, pedestrians, etc. I don't even realize most of the time that I'm doing it. Instead, my brain does it. And that's what's going on with all of us. Powerful stuff. Shucks, powerful brains. :+)
"The secret of success is to know something nobody else
knows." -Aristotle Onassis
We just love brain talk. And research shows that one of our biggest issues with our brain is our tendency to let our mind wander...to lack focus. Unsurprisingly, one of the reasons having an unfocused brain is important is because...it makes us unhappy. We don't get things done. But there are ways to do better:
"How much of the time do you spend living in the present moment?
If you're like most of the people who attend my lectures on mindfulness, your mind wanders a lot. The To-Do list... What's for lunch?... Last night's argument... Pick up the dog at the vet... How's Mom doing?
An endless stream of thoughts flows through our minds. And if your mind is wandering right now — come on back and wrap your mind around this: Trying to develop better focus is a more important goal than you might think.
A study published in the journal Science revealed how distracted most of us are, and the price we pay for it. The research, done at Harvard University, found that people in the study were thinking about something other than what they were doing a whopping 47% of the time!
The researchers, led by Matthew A. Killingsworth, PhD, and Daniel T. Gilbert, Ph.D, surveyed 2,250 iPhone users (ages 18-88; average age 34) by calling them at random moments and asking them what they were doing, what they were thinking about and what they were feeling.
When subjects were paying full attention to what they were doing, they were more likely to report feeling happy. In fact, paying attention or not paying attention to what they were doing had more of an impact on reported happiness than what particular activity they were engaged in. However, there were a few activities that people enjoyed (and paid attention to) a lot more than others.
Any guesses?
Yes, topping the list of 22 activities in terms of attention was making love, followed by talking to other people, and then exercising. At the bottom were resting, spending time on the computer (uh oh!), and working. The type of distracted thinking the subjects engaged in also had an influence on their happiness.
Not surprisingly, entertaining unpleasant thoughts made people especially unhappy. Brooding thoughts, obsessive thoughts, worry thoughts, "what if?" thoughts—these are the food that unhappiness feasts on. These thoughts fuel anxiety, depression, and other negative mood states. How to be caught the happiness bug.
This research highlights the powerful emotional impact of flow, the state we are in when we are deeply absorbed in an activity. The concept of flow was first described and popularized by psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Ph.D.
Whether we're making love or making a meal, painting a portrait or painting the house, running our business or running a marathon, when we are in a state of flow, we tend to feel happy. We barely notice the passage of time or the outside world; we are in the moment and totally into the task at hand. The better focus we have, the easier it is for us to enter a state of flow.
The research also points to the importance of mindfulness, an intentionally generated state of focused attention that also boosts happiness. In the last decade, neuroscientists have discovered how living mindfully in the present re-wires our brains for joy. Over time, practicing mindfulness increases activity in the left-prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain most active in happy people. We all have the potential for clear-minded happiness, but in our high-distraction culture, many of us have to work at developing it.
Learn how to meditate and rewire your brain for happiness
If you tend to have a wandering mind, there are several ways you can enhance your ability to be more present:
Get into the flow. In your free time, choose activities that bring you fully into the present: Walking in nature, stimulating hobbies or crafts that require focused attention, exercise or sports, or simply spending with other people for conversation and camaraderie. When you are working, give yourself opportunities to be fully absorbed in each of your activities — to the extent that you can, arrange your schedule so you can work on single tasks for long periods of time.
Uni-task, don't multitask. Avoid the temptation to multitask — studies show that it's not an efficient way to get things done. If you get restless doing just one activity, move between two or three activities, giving each one your full attention for 10-15 minutes at a time, rather than trying to do multiple things at once. Take a walk — mindfully.
Usually we walk with the intention of getting somewhere. Walking mindfully is about being somewhere, and developing your capacity to be fully present. As you walk, let your attention focus on the sights, sounds, scents, and sensations of the world around you. Notice what you feel in your body as you move.
Intentionally tuning into your present moment experience helps you improve your ability to focus.
Allocate separate blocks of time to plan, problem-solve, create, and strategize. Use a journal and to-do list to keep track of your ideas. If you dedicate a specific time each day for planning, problem-solving, and even worrying, you'll be less likely to be distracted by those mental activities at other times of the day.
If you spend too much time brooding or obsessing, set a time limit. Most brooding is unproductive and just makes you miserable, but it can be hard to break the habit. If you notice yourself worrying or ruminating over something, give yourself 5-10 minutes of worry time. If you haven't worked the problem out in 5-10 minutes, additional time brooding is not likely to help.
When the time is up, simply get up and do something else. You could call a friend, take a walk, read a book or magazine, or do a chore. In time, you'll find yourself overthinking less, and enjoying life more."
I think the best advice given above is--if you want to work on several things at a time, to sort of "multi-task", the key is to work on one thing at a time. Spend 15 minutes working on a task. Then move to the next one, focusing only on it. And so on. One needs to be totally focused on whatever one is doing. And we with Moebius Syndrome can do this. We all know what leads to Moebius--a couple of the nerves running from your brain to your face don't work right. But that doesn't mean that our brains are weaker...
On the contrary, I think we have powerful brains. Look at how we have to compensate for what we have. But we find ways to do it. I for example can see out of both of my eyes. But I can only use one at a time. So when I drive a car, for example, I'm constantly switching between eyes and moving my eyes around, so I can see as much as I can of the road, traffic, pedestrians, etc. I don't even realize most of the time that I'm doing it. Instead, my brain does it. And that's what's going on with all of us. Powerful stuff. Shucks, powerful brains. :+)
"The secret of success is to know something nobody else
knows." -Aristotle Onassis
Friday, June 24, 2011
AN EXERCISE MYTH
Here's an important one I found today--that weight is the be-all and end-all:
"Newbies hit the gym, and then weigh themselves every day on the scale.
Week-after-week, they see nodownward trend on the scale and get impatient.
People starting saying, "I haven't lost any weight. This is pointless, I'm not accomplishing anything," said Hutchinson.
After a few months of increased exercise, they are healthier because they've reduced risk factors such as blood sugar levels. Even though a person may not be losing weight, his health has improved in ways that might not be measured.
"They're stuck in this paradigm that weight is the ultimate barometer for fitness. They don't realize the progress they've made and give up."
I am a little fortunate. I have Moebius Syndrome; but I wasn't one of those who grew up with low muscle tone or a tiny body. I am over 6 feet and fairly big (it helps that I love to eat). Still, when I let myself go in my younger days, it was easy for me to become flabby and overweight...and I did. Fortunately I began exercising and trying to eat better, and have stuck with it for a while.
And I lost some weight. But even though I exercise every day, I don't continually lose weight. I'm still over 200 pounds. But I do feel better...so I think I'm a good illustration that the above is spot-on. Read the whole piece; some interesting stuff there...
Meanwhile...check out the Moebius Syndrome Charity Auction!
Great items to bid on...and all for a good cause! Go here to join all the fun!
Here's an important one I found today--that weight is the be-all and end-all:
"Newbies hit the gym, and then weigh themselves every day on the scale.
Week-after-week, they see nodownward trend on the scale and get impatient.
People starting saying, "I haven't lost any weight. This is pointless, I'm not accomplishing anything," said Hutchinson.
After a few months of increased exercise, they are healthier because they've reduced risk factors such as blood sugar levels. Even though a person may not be losing weight, his health has improved in ways that might not be measured.
"They're stuck in this paradigm that weight is the ultimate barometer for fitness. They don't realize the progress they've made and give up."
I am a little fortunate. I have Moebius Syndrome; but I wasn't one of those who grew up with low muscle tone or a tiny body. I am over 6 feet and fairly big (it helps that I love to eat). Still, when I let myself go in my younger days, it was easy for me to become flabby and overweight...and I did. Fortunately I began exercising and trying to eat better, and have stuck with it for a while.
And I lost some weight. But even though I exercise every day, I don't continually lose weight. I'm still over 200 pounds. But I do feel better...so I think I'm a good illustration that the above is spot-on. Read the whole piece; some interesting stuff there...
Meanwhile...check out the Moebius Syndrome Charity Auction!
Great items to bid on...and all for a good cause! Go here to join all the fun!
Thursday, June 23, 2011
ARE YOU DEVELOPING A "POPCORN" BRAIN?
Meaning: are you so used to multi-tasking on your techno-gadgets that you have a hard time living without them? Read on:
"When Hilarie Cash arrives home from work in the evening, she has a choice: She can go outside and tend to her garden or she can hop on her laptop.
The lilacs really need weeding. The computer, on the other hand, can wait, as her work is done for the day.
Despite this, Cash feels drawn to the computer, as if it's a magnet pulling her in. Maybe there's an email from a friend awaiting her, or a funny tweet, or a new picture posted on Facebook.
"I find it extremely difficult to walk away," Cash says. "It's so hard to tell myself, 'Don't do it. Go do the gardening.'"
Does it really matter if Cash gardens or goes online? Increasing, experts say it does. The worry is that life online is giving us what researcher, David Levy, calls "popcorn brain" -- a brain so accustomed to the constant stimulation of electronic multitasking that we're unfit for life offline, where things pop at a much slower pace.
Levy, a professor with the Information School at the University of Washington, tells the story of giving a speech at a high-tech company. Afterwards at lunch, an employee sheepishly told him how the night before his wife had asked him to give their young daughter a bath. Instead of enjoying the time with his child, he spent the time on his phone, texting and returning emails. He didn't have to work -- it was just that the urge to use the phone was more irresistible than the child in the tub.
"It's really ubiquitous," says Cash, a counselor who treats people who have trouble giving up their gadgets. "We can't just sit quietly and wait for a bus, and that's too bad, because our brains need that down time to rest, to process things."
Clifford Nass, a social psychologist at Stanford, says studies show multitasking on the Internet can make you forget how to read human emotions. When he showed online multi-taskers pictures of faces, they had a hard time identifying the emotions they were showing.
When he read stories to the multi-taskers, they had difficulty identifying the emotions of the people in the stories, and saying what they would do to make the person feel better.
"Human interaction is a learned skill, and they don't get to practice it enough," he says."
Read the whole thing. I think on the whole the growth of computer technology and social media has been a godsend to the Moebius Syndrome community. It's allowed us to build huge new networks of contact and support, and has allowed us to keep up with each other and exchange ideas and experiences. As I was growing up with Moebius Syndrome in the 1970s, going through junior high and high school, I didn't even realize completely what I had; I certainly did not know there were others with it, going through some of the same experiences I was. That people today with Moebius don't have to feel so alone is a wonderful thing.
But it is possible to overdo a good thing. Let's remember to try and talk in person with members of our community, as well as doing so online...
The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting
for our wits to grow sharper." -Eden Phillpotts
Meaning: are you so used to multi-tasking on your techno-gadgets that you have a hard time living without them? Read on:
"When Hilarie Cash arrives home from work in the evening, she has a choice: She can go outside and tend to her garden or she can hop on her laptop.
The lilacs really need weeding. The computer, on the other hand, can wait, as her work is done for the day.
Despite this, Cash feels drawn to the computer, as if it's a magnet pulling her in. Maybe there's an email from a friend awaiting her, or a funny tweet, or a new picture posted on Facebook.
"I find it extremely difficult to walk away," Cash says. "It's so hard to tell myself, 'Don't do it. Go do the gardening.'"
Does it really matter if Cash gardens or goes online? Increasing, experts say it does. The worry is that life online is giving us what researcher, David Levy, calls "popcorn brain" -- a brain so accustomed to the constant stimulation of electronic multitasking that we're unfit for life offline, where things pop at a much slower pace.
Levy, a professor with the Information School at the University of Washington, tells the story of giving a speech at a high-tech company. Afterwards at lunch, an employee sheepishly told him how the night before his wife had asked him to give their young daughter a bath. Instead of enjoying the time with his child, he spent the time on his phone, texting and returning emails. He didn't have to work -- it was just that the urge to use the phone was more irresistible than the child in the tub.
"It's really ubiquitous," says Cash, a counselor who treats people who have trouble giving up their gadgets. "We can't just sit quietly and wait for a bus, and that's too bad, because our brains need that down time to rest, to process things."
Clifford Nass, a social psychologist at Stanford, says studies show multitasking on the Internet can make you forget how to read human emotions. When he showed online multi-taskers pictures of faces, they had a hard time identifying the emotions they were showing.
When he read stories to the multi-taskers, they had difficulty identifying the emotions of the people in the stories, and saying what they would do to make the person feel better.
"Human interaction is a learned skill, and they don't get to practice it enough," he says."
Read the whole thing. I think on the whole the growth of computer technology and social media has been a godsend to the Moebius Syndrome community. It's allowed us to build huge new networks of contact and support, and has allowed us to keep up with each other and exchange ideas and experiences. As I was growing up with Moebius Syndrome in the 1970s, going through junior high and high school, I didn't even realize completely what I had; I certainly did not know there were others with it, going through some of the same experiences I was. That people today with Moebius don't have to feel so alone is a wonderful thing.
But it is possible to overdo a good thing. Let's remember to try and talk in person with members of our community, as well as doing so online...
The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting
for our wits to grow sharper." -Eden Phillpotts
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
THINGS THAT GET YOU THINKING
There's an interesting new story up on the Many Faces of Moebius Syndrome website, by a mom of a Moebius child named Jayden. Part of her story deals with when, during her pregnancy, doctors realized her unborn child was different. And then:
"Dr. Love did confirm that he had no hands and clubbed feet. I was asked if I wanted to abort. Abort? You want me to kill my child after you just told me his heart is strong and he will live! I was furious! Dr. Love sat and talked to me for what seemed like hours. He told me that God doesn't make mistakes and Jayden was given to me for a reason. He also told me that Jayden's brain will already be "programmed" for what he doesn't have & what he does. That its not like us loosing a limb. He made me feel so much better. I thank God for Dr. Love every day, to this day! We agreed on doing an amino & waited for the results. When I got home I told my family what was going on and their advice was to end the pregnancy. I couldn't do it. I was feeling my baby move. I seen him on the ultrasound screen. I heard his heart beat. I love my baby!"
Meanwhile, I am also right now reading this book--AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A FACE, by Lucy Grealy. Lucy, when she was just nine years old, was found to have cancer in her jaw. They had to operate, and eventually removed nearly half of it; leaving her with a very obvious facial difference which she would have to learn to live with. This book, which is a classic, very well-written (I can't believe I had not encountered it before this; all the credit for pointing me to it goes to my wife Lisa, a librarian who knows of ALL the good books :+)) is a fascinating exploration of what happened to the young Miss Grealy, how it affected her and others, and how she strove and is still striving to get in touch with the meaning of it all. Of course, what can't help but strike one is the cruelty Lucy faced:
"...children WERE staring at me, laughing at me. The cruelty of children is immense, almost startling in its precision. The kids at the parties were fairly young and, surrounded by adults, they rarely made cruel remarks outright. But their open, uncensored stares were more painful than the deliberate taunts of my peers at school, where insecurities drove everything and everyone like some looming, evil presence in a haunted machine. But in those back yards, where the grass was mown so short and sharp it would have hurt to walk on it, there was only the fact of me, my face, my ugliness."
It is a fact of life, isn't it? Some can't see the value of a baby's life if he or she isn't perfect, or at least "normal." Others become mean and vicious when they encounter those with faces and bodies which don't measure up to their vision of "beauty." Probably this stems from the intense insecurity it awakens in some people, as David Roche has pointed out in his writings; they can't deal with difference, with "otherness", perhaps because they realize their own supposed happiness and comfort, based on their supposed "normality" is all on the surface, more tenuous than they care to admit, and perhaps not there at all.
But what's truly important about our community is this. Toddlers like Jayden are on their way to having a great, valuable life, with parents and family and friends who love him. Lucy Grealy overcame a lot. She dedicated her book to all of her friends. Obviously she found meaning in her life and struggles (I haven't finished the book yet; I can't wait to do so). Life with facial and physical differences is worth living. It is too bad that there are still medical professionals and others out there who suggest that, if your unborn child has problems and differences, maybe you should abort that child. I think that one of the witnesses this Moebius Syndrome/facial difference community has to offer the world is that ending such a life before it begins need not be the first option; that it doesn't have to be an option at all. That people like us have great stories to tell, and great accomplishments to which to point, and that therefore life is worth living. For everybody.
I bet you that even supposedly "normal" people, when they're having a bad day, can benefit from that message. Hey, "normal" folks---you're welcome. :+)
"Your life is your message to the world. Make it inspiring."
-Lorrin L. Lee
There's an interesting new story up on the Many Faces of Moebius Syndrome website, by a mom of a Moebius child named Jayden. Part of her story deals with when, during her pregnancy, doctors realized her unborn child was different. And then:
"Dr. Love did confirm that he had no hands and clubbed feet. I was asked if I wanted to abort. Abort? You want me to kill my child after you just told me his heart is strong and he will live! I was furious! Dr. Love sat and talked to me for what seemed like hours. He told me that God doesn't make mistakes and Jayden was given to me for a reason. He also told me that Jayden's brain will already be "programmed" for what he doesn't have & what he does. That its not like us loosing a limb. He made me feel so much better. I thank God for Dr. Love every day, to this day! We agreed on doing an amino & waited for the results. When I got home I told my family what was going on and their advice was to end the pregnancy. I couldn't do it. I was feeling my baby move. I seen him on the ultrasound screen. I heard his heart beat. I love my baby!"
Meanwhile, I am also right now reading this book--AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A FACE, by Lucy Grealy. Lucy, when she was just nine years old, was found to have cancer in her jaw. They had to operate, and eventually removed nearly half of it; leaving her with a very obvious facial difference which she would have to learn to live with. This book, which is a classic, very well-written (I can't believe I had not encountered it before this; all the credit for pointing me to it goes to my wife Lisa, a librarian who knows of ALL the good books :+)) is a fascinating exploration of what happened to the young Miss Grealy, how it affected her and others, and how she strove and is still striving to get in touch with the meaning of it all. Of course, what can't help but strike one is the cruelty Lucy faced:
"...children WERE staring at me, laughing at me. The cruelty of children is immense, almost startling in its precision. The kids at the parties were fairly young and, surrounded by adults, they rarely made cruel remarks outright. But their open, uncensored stares were more painful than the deliberate taunts of my peers at school, where insecurities drove everything and everyone like some looming, evil presence in a haunted machine. But in those back yards, where the grass was mown so short and sharp it would have hurt to walk on it, there was only the fact of me, my face, my ugliness."
It is a fact of life, isn't it? Some can't see the value of a baby's life if he or she isn't perfect, or at least "normal." Others become mean and vicious when they encounter those with faces and bodies which don't measure up to their vision of "beauty." Probably this stems from the intense insecurity it awakens in some people, as David Roche has pointed out in his writings; they can't deal with difference, with "otherness", perhaps because they realize their own supposed happiness and comfort, based on their supposed "normality" is all on the surface, more tenuous than they care to admit, and perhaps not there at all.
But what's truly important about our community is this. Toddlers like Jayden are on their way to having a great, valuable life, with parents and family and friends who love him. Lucy Grealy overcame a lot. She dedicated her book to all of her friends. Obviously she found meaning in her life and struggles (I haven't finished the book yet; I can't wait to do so). Life with facial and physical differences is worth living. It is too bad that there are still medical professionals and others out there who suggest that, if your unborn child has problems and differences, maybe you should abort that child. I think that one of the witnesses this Moebius Syndrome/facial difference community has to offer the world is that ending such a life before it begins need not be the first option; that it doesn't have to be an option at all. That people like us have great stories to tell, and great accomplishments to which to point, and that therefore life is worth living. For everybody.
I bet you that even supposedly "normal" people, when they're having a bad day, can benefit from that message. Hey, "normal" folks---you're welcome. :+)
"Your life is your message to the world. Make it inspiring."
-Lorrin L. Lee
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
SOME MORE TIPS ON GETTING A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP
Because these are things we can all use, and I just know we have plenty of Moebius friends out there who would love to sleep better. Check these out:
"Is there anything worse than tossing and turning when you really need some sleep?
Ten percent of Americans have chronic sleep problems, and up to 35 percent have occasional difficulty with sleep, according to the University of Pennsylvania Behavioral Sleep Medicine Program.
But there are some simple things you can do to make it easier to settle down for the night. The new issue of "Prevention" magazine has some great sleep solutions, and the magazine's editor-in-chief, Diane Salvatore, visited "GMA" to talk about them.
Keep to a Set Schedule
The trick is to go to bed every night at the same time and get up at the same time – even on the weekends, Salvatore said. What that does is set your biological sleep clock. It's simple and it really works, she said.
Maintain Sleep Diary
This is the right way to become a sleep detective, so you can find out why you're not getting the right sleep, Salvatore said. The first thing you should do is write down the obvious stuff – when you go to sleep and wake up, and also what you did in the hours before you went to sleep.
Ask yourself: what you were watching on TV? Were you having an argument? Were you on e-mail? Analyze your diary for two weeks to see if there's a pattern, she said. If you want to get a jump start, go to sleepdoctor.com and print out a work sheet and it will describe some of the tell-tale signs you should be looking for.
Avoid Bedtime Exercise
That's right. Exercise before bed is not good because it makes your body warm, which is not conducive to sleep, Salvatore added.
Avoid Alcohol
This may be bad news for those who like their nightcaps. True, a stiff drink will knock you out, but it will keep you waking up all through the night because your body's attempts to metabolize the alcohol will play havoc with your body temperature, hormones and REM sleep, Salvatore added. Instead, you should drink milk before bed. It's metabolizes into melatonin, a hormone that helps regulate sleep.
If you are going to drink alcohol, drink it two hours before you go to bed, she said.
Chamomile and Other Relaxing Teas
Chamomile is a healing herb and it activates the back of your brain that tells the body to go to sleep. Other relaxing drinks contain melatonin, and some have tryptophan – the amino acid that's found in turkey.
White Noise
Some people become distracted by the slightest noise, such as a branch on the window. White noise helps block those distractions and make it easier for you to sleep, Salvatore said.
Block Light
Evolutionarily speaking, the body is trained to wake up when there is light, so even when your eyes are closed, any light in your room – from a digital read-out, for example – can enter your eyeball and tell the brain to wake up, Salvatore said. The darker your room can be, the sounder you will sleep, she added.
Still No Sleep?
If you are doing all of these things and you can't sleep, or if you're getting seven to eight hours of sleep but you're still waking up exhausted, you could have a problem such as sleep apnea, Salvatore said. That will need a professional diagnosis and possibly medication or behavioral therapy, she added."
"Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done,
it's always your choice." -Wayne Dyer
Because these are things we can all use, and I just know we have plenty of Moebius friends out there who would love to sleep better. Check these out:
"Is there anything worse than tossing and turning when you really need some sleep?
Ten percent of Americans have chronic sleep problems, and up to 35 percent have occasional difficulty with sleep, according to the University of Pennsylvania Behavioral Sleep Medicine Program.
But there are some simple things you can do to make it easier to settle down for the night. The new issue of "Prevention" magazine has some great sleep solutions, and the magazine's editor-in-chief, Diane Salvatore, visited "GMA" to talk about them.
Keep to a Set Schedule
The trick is to go to bed every night at the same time and get up at the same time – even on the weekends, Salvatore said. What that does is set your biological sleep clock. It's simple and it really works, she said.
Maintain Sleep Diary
This is the right way to become a sleep detective, so you can find out why you're not getting the right sleep, Salvatore said. The first thing you should do is write down the obvious stuff – when you go to sleep and wake up, and also what you did in the hours before you went to sleep.
Ask yourself: what you were watching on TV? Were you having an argument? Were you on e-mail? Analyze your diary for two weeks to see if there's a pattern, she said. If you want to get a jump start, go to sleepdoctor.com and print out a work sheet and it will describe some of the tell-tale signs you should be looking for.
Avoid Bedtime Exercise
That's right. Exercise before bed is not good because it makes your body warm, which is not conducive to sleep, Salvatore added.
Avoid Alcohol
This may be bad news for those who like their nightcaps. True, a stiff drink will knock you out, but it will keep you waking up all through the night because your body's attempts to metabolize the alcohol will play havoc with your body temperature, hormones and REM sleep, Salvatore added. Instead, you should drink milk before bed. It's metabolizes into melatonin, a hormone that helps regulate sleep.
If you are going to drink alcohol, drink it two hours before you go to bed, she said.
Chamomile and Other Relaxing Teas
Chamomile is a healing herb and it activates the back of your brain that tells the body to go to sleep. Other relaxing drinks contain melatonin, and some have tryptophan – the amino acid that's found in turkey.
White Noise
Some people become distracted by the slightest noise, such as a branch on the window. White noise helps block those distractions and make it easier for you to sleep, Salvatore said.
Block Light
Evolutionarily speaking, the body is trained to wake up when there is light, so even when your eyes are closed, any light in your room – from a digital read-out, for example – can enter your eyeball and tell the brain to wake up, Salvatore said. The darker your room can be, the sounder you will sleep, she added.
Still No Sleep?
If you are doing all of these things and you can't sleep, or if you're getting seven to eight hours of sleep but you're still waking up exhausted, you could have a problem such as sleep apnea, Salvatore said. That will need a professional diagnosis and possibly medication or behavioral therapy, she added."
"Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done,
it's always your choice." -Wayne Dyer
Monday, June 20, 2011
QUITTING YOUR JOB CAN BE A GOOD THING
But notice I wrote "can" be; that doesn't mean it always is. Decisions like that are very important. Don't make them lightly. But I know the workaday world is something many of us with Moebius or facial differences struggle with every day. Many of us are satisfied with our jobs. But maybe you aren't. Maybe you don't feel your job is fulfilling, or perhaps that various kinds of prejudices held by those above are holding you back from being promoted. Maybe, then, quitting for you is a real option. Here are some things to consider:
"Leaving your job can be one of the toughest career decisions you'll ever need to make. After all, it's not easy to get hired in the first place and walking away from a steady job is a big risk.
Despite the uncertainty, quitting can actually be a great career move -- even if it doesn't feel like it.
"Realize that there will never be a right time to quit," says Eugene Farber, who left an accounting career to pursue his own Internet marketing company. Each month that you stay at your job it can be tempting to make excuses, he adds.
Many career switchers say quitting their job has enabled them to start a career that's truly enjoyable.
Ready to take the plunge? Here's what to consider as you say goodbye to your job:
Have a safety net
If you're not making the leap to another employer, it's important to save as much money as possible before leaving your job.
Have enough saved to for at least six months of living expenses, says Tina Su, a blogger who previously worked as a software engineer and, before quitting, saved up enough money to live jobless for two years. Having a safety net takes the pressure off from pursuing revenue streams that may not fit your career goals.
Do your research
Moving home after graduation America's growing income gap Does weight influence salary?
No matter what you're looking to do next, it's important to be as knowledge as possible about your new career.
"Be prepared, read as much as you can about the field you want to go into, as well as talk to as many people possible about the best way to enter the new career," says Dan McLaughlin, who quit his job as a professional photographer to pursue a professional golfing career.
Expect an abrupt transition
With so many people stuck in mediocre jobs, making a sudden decision to leave is common. Quitting abruptly is tough but is often the only way for some people to actually switch careers.
"Some jobs just hold you back," Farber says. "Yes, you may be working only nine to five, but the emotional and psychological toll it has on you can prevent any progress on your own time."
If you must quit a job abruptly, don't worry. Even if you don't find exactly what you want to do, try taking an internship or support yourself with part-time work until finding the right fit.
Test it out
If you do have time before leaving your job, it can help to test out your new career path.
Farber says he took a week off from his accounting firm just to see what it was like to work from home. I needed to see "if I can actually be productive in that kind of setting," he explains. "It's important to see if you can actually work on your own without a boss lurking over your shoulder before you get rid of the boss."
Set clear goals
Just walking away from a full-time job doesn't solve a problem. Instead, it's important to be clear on what your career goals are and how you can achieve them by leaving your job. Before leaving do as much research as possible -- talk to others in your desired field, read industry news and look around for job opportunities.
Be ready for challenges
Even if quitting is a smart move, it doesn't mean it's an easy one, says Lauren Zettler, a musician who left her desk job at Universal Music Group to pursue her own music career.
"If you are quitting to work for yourself and pursue a personal passion, you are going to have to work a thousand times harder, with less support and encouragement," she says. You must also be ready to explain your goals to others and hear objections."
"Take this job and shove it."--Johnny Paycheck. :+)
But notice I wrote "can" be; that doesn't mean it always is. Decisions like that are very important. Don't make them lightly. But I know the workaday world is something many of us with Moebius or facial differences struggle with every day. Many of us are satisfied with our jobs. But maybe you aren't. Maybe you don't feel your job is fulfilling, or perhaps that various kinds of prejudices held by those above are holding you back from being promoted. Maybe, then, quitting for you is a real option. Here are some things to consider:
"Leaving your job can be one of the toughest career decisions you'll ever need to make. After all, it's not easy to get hired in the first place and walking away from a steady job is a big risk.
Despite the uncertainty, quitting can actually be a great career move -- even if it doesn't feel like it.
"Realize that there will never be a right time to quit," says Eugene Farber, who left an accounting career to pursue his own Internet marketing company. Each month that you stay at your job it can be tempting to make excuses, he adds.
Many career switchers say quitting their job has enabled them to start a career that's truly enjoyable.
Ready to take the plunge? Here's what to consider as you say goodbye to your job:
Have a safety net
If you're not making the leap to another employer, it's important to save as much money as possible before leaving your job.
Have enough saved to for at least six months of living expenses, says Tina Su, a blogger who previously worked as a software engineer and, before quitting, saved up enough money to live jobless for two years. Having a safety net takes the pressure off from pursuing revenue streams that may not fit your career goals.
Do your research
Moving home after graduation America's growing income gap Does weight influence salary?
No matter what you're looking to do next, it's important to be as knowledge as possible about your new career.
"Be prepared, read as much as you can about the field you want to go into, as well as talk to as many people possible about the best way to enter the new career," says Dan McLaughlin, who quit his job as a professional photographer to pursue a professional golfing career.
Expect an abrupt transition
With so many people stuck in mediocre jobs, making a sudden decision to leave is common. Quitting abruptly is tough but is often the only way for some people to actually switch careers.
"Some jobs just hold you back," Farber says. "Yes, you may be working only nine to five, but the emotional and psychological toll it has on you can prevent any progress on your own time."
If you must quit a job abruptly, don't worry. Even if you don't find exactly what you want to do, try taking an internship or support yourself with part-time work until finding the right fit.
Test it out
If you do have time before leaving your job, it can help to test out your new career path.
Farber says he took a week off from his accounting firm just to see what it was like to work from home. I needed to see "if I can actually be productive in that kind of setting," he explains. "It's important to see if you can actually work on your own without a boss lurking over your shoulder before you get rid of the boss."
Set clear goals
Just walking away from a full-time job doesn't solve a problem. Instead, it's important to be clear on what your career goals are and how you can achieve them by leaving your job. Before leaving do as much research as possible -- talk to others in your desired field, read industry news and look around for job opportunities.
Be ready for challenges
Even if quitting is a smart move, it doesn't mean it's an easy one, says Lauren Zettler, a musician who left her desk job at Universal Music Group to pursue her own music career.
"If you are quitting to work for yourself and pursue a personal passion, you are going to have to work a thousand times harder, with less support and encouragement," she says. You must also be ready to explain your goals to others and hear objections."
"Take this job and shove it."--Johnny Paycheck. :+)
Friday, June 17, 2011
YOUR PET IS WATCHING YOU
Did you know your pet is always watching and learning from you--for good or for ill? Read on:
"You may be teaching your dog new tricks, without even trying.
Dogs are constantly learning from the reaction of human owners, picking up facial cues and anticipating their owner’s behavior, new research suggests. The findings, published online in the journal Learning and Behavior, show that dogs essentially are always in training, and help explain how many owners unknowingly teach and reward their dog’s bad behavior.
Research conducted at the University of Florida focused on the role of eye contact and facial cues in influencing canine behavior. Earlier studies have suggested that dogs seem to know when they are being watched and even wait to perform forbidden behavior like digging in the garden when they know their owners aren’t looking.
In this study, researchers studied how human cues triggered begging behavior among 35 pet dogs, 18 shelter dogs and 8 wolves raised in captivity. First the animals were taught that the human strangers helping with the experiment were reliable sources of tasty treats. The testers stood close together and called to the animal, and both offered rewards of Spam cubes or Beggin’ Strips treats.
After four rewards, the experiment began. Two testers stood against a fence or wall, about 20 feet apart and with food in their pockets. The dog was held about 20 feet away, equidistant from both testers. In one condition, one tester faced the dog while the other turned her back. In another, a tester held a book near her face, while the other tester held the book in front of her face, as if she were reading. In a third condition, one tester held a bucket near the shoulder, while the other put the bucket over her head, blocking her eyes.
Then, both testers called out to the dogs.
All the animals -– pet dogs, shelter dogs and wolves -– ignored the person whose back was turned and sought food from the person who was looking at them.
“The question was, are dogs and wolves responsive to a human’s attentional state?” said Monique Udell, who is now an assistant professor of psychology at Flagler College in St. Augustine, Fla. “Do they have a feeling of whether we can see them or not? Turning your back — that’s a cue all the animals were sensitive to.”
But when the testers held books, it was only the domestic dogs who avoided the person who appeared to be reading the book.
“In a house where they’re used to people reading books, they are sensitive to those types of cues,” said Dr. Udell. “A pet dog will not beg from someone reading the book. They will go to the person looking at them. A wolf or a dog at a shelter is indifferent to that cue.”
Interestingly, in the bucket experiment, the animals, for the most part, were equally likely to seek food from the person with the bucket over her head as the person holding the bucket. Dr. Udell notes that most dogs don’t typically see a person with a bucket on his or her head, so they haven’t learned how to read that cue.
“For us as humans, having a bucket over your head is very silly,’’ she said. “Dogs and wolves don’t get that. For the most part dogs and wolves would be equally likely to beg from someone with a bucket on your head because buckets don’t hold much meaning.’’
Surprisingly, one dog, a Labrador, performed very well on the bucket task, and the researchers wondered if perhaps the dog had seen its owner wearing a motorcycle helmet or hats. In the end, they couldn’t find an explanation for the dog’s strong performance and say it may simply be that the dog just got lucky in its guesses.
The experiment shows that dogs are tuned into whether humans are paying attention.
“Dogs don’t have to read our minds. Dogs read our behavior,” said Dr. Udell. “That might be why dogs are so successful in human homes. They are watching us. They are quick learners, they can figure out when you are going to give them the next treat or whether you are going to give them a bath. Whether we know it or not, we are training them.”
Dr. Udell said pet owners often get frustrated with bad dog behavior without realizing that they themselves have reinforced it, either by giving the dog a treat when they beg, skipping a bath when they protest or letting them sleep on the bed or couch.
“If we as owners don’t remain consistent, the dog is learning what it’s allowed to do, even if in our heads, that’s not what we desire,” said Dr. Udell. “They are really good at knowing how to live the life they want inside the human home.”
I know many of us with Moebius Syndrome have pets, and love them. They are very loyal to us. It is interesting that the articles mentions that facial cues can be important. I guess mainly that has to do with whether one is looking at his or her pet, or not. Just goes to show that a pet can tell both when someone with Moebius is looking at him...just the same as if someone without it was looking. That people with Moebius can give off the right facial cues, and pets can understand them. Figures that our good, loyal pets understand us, just like our human friends do. Pets can be awfully smart, can't they? :+)
"He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for
anything else." -Benjamin Franklin
Did you know your pet is always watching and learning from you--for good or for ill? Read on:
"You may be teaching your dog new tricks, without even trying.
Dogs are constantly learning from the reaction of human owners, picking up facial cues and anticipating their owner’s behavior, new research suggests. The findings, published online in the journal Learning and Behavior, show that dogs essentially are always in training, and help explain how many owners unknowingly teach and reward their dog’s bad behavior.
Research conducted at the University of Florida focused on the role of eye contact and facial cues in influencing canine behavior. Earlier studies have suggested that dogs seem to know when they are being watched and even wait to perform forbidden behavior like digging in the garden when they know their owners aren’t looking.
In this study, researchers studied how human cues triggered begging behavior among 35 pet dogs, 18 shelter dogs and 8 wolves raised in captivity. First the animals were taught that the human strangers helping with the experiment were reliable sources of tasty treats. The testers stood close together and called to the animal, and both offered rewards of Spam cubes or Beggin’ Strips treats.
After four rewards, the experiment began. Two testers stood against a fence or wall, about 20 feet apart and with food in their pockets. The dog was held about 20 feet away, equidistant from both testers. In one condition, one tester faced the dog while the other turned her back. In another, a tester held a book near her face, while the other tester held the book in front of her face, as if she were reading. In a third condition, one tester held a bucket near the shoulder, while the other put the bucket over her head, blocking her eyes.
Then, both testers called out to the dogs.
All the animals -– pet dogs, shelter dogs and wolves -– ignored the person whose back was turned and sought food from the person who was looking at them.
“The question was, are dogs and wolves responsive to a human’s attentional state?” said Monique Udell, who is now an assistant professor of psychology at Flagler College in St. Augustine, Fla. “Do they have a feeling of whether we can see them or not? Turning your back — that’s a cue all the animals were sensitive to.”
But when the testers held books, it was only the domestic dogs who avoided the person who appeared to be reading the book.
“In a house where they’re used to people reading books, they are sensitive to those types of cues,” said Dr. Udell. “A pet dog will not beg from someone reading the book. They will go to the person looking at them. A wolf or a dog at a shelter is indifferent to that cue.”
Interestingly, in the bucket experiment, the animals, for the most part, were equally likely to seek food from the person with the bucket over her head as the person holding the bucket. Dr. Udell notes that most dogs don’t typically see a person with a bucket on his or her head, so they haven’t learned how to read that cue.
“For us as humans, having a bucket over your head is very silly,’’ she said. “Dogs and wolves don’t get that. For the most part dogs and wolves would be equally likely to beg from someone with a bucket on your head because buckets don’t hold much meaning.’’
Surprisingly, one dog, a Labrador, performed very well on the bucket task, and the researchers wondered if perhaps the dog had seen its owner wearing a motorcycle helmet or hats. In the end, they couldn’t find an explanation for the dog’s strong performance and say it may simply be that the dog just got lucky in its guesses.
The experiment shows that dogs are tuned into whether humans are paying attention.
“Dogs don’t have to read our minds. Dogs read our behavior,” said Dr. Udell. “That might be why dogs are so successful in human homes. They are watching us. They are quick learners, they can figure out when you are going to give them the next treat or whether you are going to give them a bath. Whether we know it or not, we are training them.”
Dr. Udell said pet owners often get frustrated with bad dog behavior without realizing that they themselves have reinforced it, either by giving the dog a treat when they beg, skipping a bath when they protest or letting them sleep on the bed or couch.
“If we as owners don’t remain consistent, the dog is learning what it’s allowed to do, even if in our heads, that’s not what we desire,” said Dr. Udell. “They are really good at knowing how to live the life they want inside the human home.”
I know many of us with Moebius Syndrome have pets, and love them. They are very loyal to us. It is interesting that the articles mentions that facial cues can be important. I guess mainly that has to do with whether one is looking at his or her pet, or not. Just goes to show that a pet can tell both when someone with Moebius is looking at him...just the same as if someone without it was looking. That people with Moebius can give off the right facial cues, and pets can understand them. Figures that our good, loyal pets understand us, just like our human friends do. Pets can be awfully smart, can't they? :+)
"He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for
anything else." -Benjamin Franklin
Thursday, June 16, 2011
BRAIN TALK
Turns out teen brains have even more power than we thought--they can predict hit music:
"The adolescent brain might not be such a teenage wasteland after all.
Recent research suggests that the activity in teen brains may have some Nostradamus-like qualities when it comes to predicting the hits or misses of popular music.
In a small study, scientists recruited 27 adolescents, ages 12 to 17. They asked each kid to listen to 60 15-second clips of songs from largely unknown artists found on MySpace. The clip included either the hook or chorus of each song, and volunteers only listened to tunes from their three favorite musical categories, which ranged from country, rock and indie to hip-hop, blues and metal.
Researchers recorded the teens' reactions to each song using brain-imaging scans, and they also asked participants to rate how much they liked the music on a scale of one to five stars. By using unfamiliar musicians and vocals, scientists hoped to get a raw response, as if teens were hearing the track for the first time.
For three years after the scanning took place, the scientists gathered data on each song's sales figures to see which ones were fan faves or flops.
Although the teens' tastes in music from their likability ratings showed no link to a song's commercial success, their brain scans told another story: Activity in the ventral striatum -- the brain's reward region -- was predictive of future sales figures and popularity.
"We found that when an area of the brain associated with reward and anticipation was active while listening to the song, chances were greater that the song would eventually go on to sell more than 20,000 units," says Gregory Berns, MD, PhD, a neuroeconomist and director of Emory University's Center for Neuropolicy.
While the teens brains displayed a modest knack for picking out songs that would sell at least 20,000 units -- about one-third of the brain images could predict this -- they were even more accurate at identifying failures: Nearly 90 percent of the songs that showed a weak response in the brain's reward region had tepid sales.
Most of the study songs were duds with dismal sales, but three were industry hits (500,000 units sold) including "Apologize" by OneRepublic and two country cuts, "Don't Laugh at Me" by Mark Wills and "Drink, Swear, Steal, and Lie" by Michael Peterson. But none of these tunes were in the teens' top 10 in eliciting brain activation so they weren't exactly hit-predicting machines.
"The fact that there was any predictive power at all was surprising," says Berns, the study's lead author. "There are so many songs released each year and so few hits, that the odds were stacked against us."
The study appears in the Journal of Consumer Psychology."
Teens can be good at judging music. My theory concerning those with Moebius Syndrome? I think our brains are good for judging people. Put us in a hidden place and give us the chance to watch someone talk and interact, and many of us are good at figuring that person out, quickly. I suspect it's because, due to our circumstances, we're careful about who we want to "let in", about with whom we want to associate. Just a theory...
"Spirit has fifty times the strength and staying power of
brawn and muscle." -Unknown
Turns out teen brains have even more power than we thought--they can predict hit music:
"The adolescent brain might not be such a teenage wasteland after all.
Recent research suggests that the activity in teen brains may have some Nostradamus-like qualities when it comes to predicting the hits or misses of popular music.
In a small study, scientists recruited 27 adolescents, ages 12 to 17. They asked each kid to listen to 60 15-second clips of songs from largely unknown artists found on MySpace. The clip included either the hook or chorus of each song, and volunteers only listened to tunes from their three favorite musical categories, which ranged from country, rock and indie to hip-hop, blues and metal.
Researchers recorded the teens' reactions to each song using brain-imaging scans, and they also asked participants to rate how much they liked the music on a scale of one to five stars. By using unfamiliar musicians and vocals, scientists hoped to get a raw response, as if teens were hearing the track for the first time.
For three years after the scanning took place, the scientists gathered data on each song's sales figures to see which ones were fan faves or flops.
Although the teens' tastes in music from their likability ratings showed no link to a song's commercial success, their brain scans told another story: Activity in the ventral striatum -- the brain's reward region -- was predictive of future sales figures and popularity.
"We found that when an area of the brain associated with reward and anticipation was active while listening to the song, chances were greater that the song would eventually go on to sell more than 20,000 units," says Gregory Berns, MD, PhD, a neuroeconomist and director of Emory University's Center for Neuropolicy.
While the teens brains displayed a modest knack for picking out songs that would sell at least 20,000 units -- about one-third of the brain images could predict this -- they were even more accurate at identifying failures: Nearly 90 percent of the songs that showed a weak response in the brain's reward region had tepid sales.
Most of the study songs were duds with dismal sales, but three were industry hits (500,000 units sold) including "Apologize" by OneRepublic and two country cuts, "Don't Laugh at Me" by Mark Wills and "Drink, Swear, Steal, and Lie" by Michael Peterson. But none of these tunes were in the teens' top 10 in eliciting brain activation so they weren't exactly hit-predicting machines.
"The fact that there was any predictive power at all was surprising," says Berns, the study's lead author. "There are so many songs released each year and so few hits, that the odds were stacked against us."
The study appears in the Journal of Consumer Psychology."
Teens can be good at judging music. My theory concerning those with Moebius Syndrome? I think our brains are good for judging people. Put us in a hidden place and give us the chance to watch someone talk and interact, and many of us are good at figuring that person out, quickly. I suspect it's because, due to our circumstances, we're careful about who we want to "let in", about with whom we want to associate. Just a theory...
"Spirit has fifty times the strength and staying power of
brawn and muscle." -Unknown
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
GET MOVING! AND FIND SOME PATIENCE
Because being impatient and a type-A personality isn't good for your health:
"Herb Palmer admits to being a type A personality. “I was the classic angry guy in rush hour traffic beeping the horn. All lines made me mad,” says Palmer, a 40-something author in Morris Plains, N.J. “What I finally figured out was it wasn’t the traffic or the lines — it was me.”
If you have trouble waiting in line, become annoyed and swear at other drivers in traffic, and go ballistic when the person in front of you at the 10-item-or-less checkout counter has 12 items, you can relate. Patience anyone?
Maybe you’ve cataloged your lack of patience as a sign of being a high energy, hard charging, successful individual, and you’re probably right. But make no mistake; it comes at a price to your health.
“What we know from research is that these individuals are prone to heart disease, hypertension and more medical problems across the board than their more laid back counterparts,” says Dale Archer, a psychiatrist and author of the forthcoming “Better than Normal: How What Makes You Different Can Make You Exceptional.”
Called time urgency impatience, and typically characterized in Type A personalities, these people expect everything to be done ASAP. Basically it’s an obsessive concern for time. It stems from the false urgency that comes from being concerned about maximizing every second of the day. They likely look at the clock regularly, too. These are the folks punching the elevator button repeatedly as if that makes it arrive faster.
When every minute is that sense of panic and rush, it triggers the classic fight or flight response, where hormones flood the body and brain, which is fine in a life or death situation, but not so good when it’s turned on all day every day. After a while, impatience leads to irritability, which leads to anger, which leads to clogged arteries down the road.
“Everybody thinking they don’t have enough time to do this or that that tells the brain, at least the primitive emotional hub called the amygdala, that every minute of the day is an emergency,” says Joe Robinson, a work/life balance expert and author of “Don’t Miss Your Life.”
It’s actually an altered state — akin to being drunk, because you do things in your time urgent state that you would never do otherwise: Seethe with anger and blare the horn when the person in front of you doesn’t move within a second of the green light. “These are people that are just on the edge of going over,” says Robinson.
We’re also trained in this culture to believe that anything that’s not output or production doesn’t have value, so were always trying to maximize every second. That’s the insidious thing about time urgency; we’re trying to fill up every second of the day instead of making the day more fulfilling.
Naturally, technology aggravates the condition. Instant gratification is at an all time high as well as attention spans at an all time low. To have patience, you have to have an attention span and those are being eroded by our smart phones, iPads, computers and constant connectivity. “The more you check email, the more you have to check it. It erodes a part of the brain that regulates your impulse control,” says Robinson. And when the impulse control mechanism goes on the blink, it’s easy to fly off the handle if something isn’t instantaneous.
Problem is you can get away with it for a while. “I think younger people embrace it and don’t see it as a problem,” says Archer. When people start seeing the side effects of anxiety and panic attacks, destroy their relationships because things don’t happen as fast as they want, or have road rage on the highway, then they see it as a problem. Studies show you really don’t reap the negative medical effects until 40 or 45 years old.
But don’t wait until you develop heart disease. Fortunately impatience is not a personality trait, it's a behavior. Start by asking yourself why waiting makes you crazy. Impatient people often feel they're special and should be free of the annoying inconveniences of life. Their time is more valuable than the rest of ours. Throw out that mantra and slip into the real world. “It’s not what happens in your day that makes you mad, it’s who you are and how to handle what happens in your day that makes the difference,” says Palmer.
Here’s how to nab more patience:
Schedule leisure time with a focus. Find activities toget your attention back and ditch time urgency by focusing your mind on a target. Play badminton or ping pong where you focus on the shuttle cock or ball going back and forth, or take up salsa dancing where you can’t space out for a second or you won’t get the sequence. Any activity where you have to concentrate and learn something counters that false sense of urgency.
Quit checking the clock. Or don’t check it as often. Start by checking it 50 percent less than yesterday, and then cut it in half the next day. “We don’t have to check clocks as often as we do, and every time we check clocks we’re self inflicting an interruption in our work because we’re not as far along as we want to be,” says Robinson. The obsession with the future takes you away from what you are doing now.
Seek social experiences. Conversations with friends are usually in relaxed settings where you can be yourself and there’s no time pressure. Social interactions are a great antidote to time urgency: It’s not about the time or the result, it’s just about the experience of being with people and experience makes us happier than material things because they can’t be compared to anyone else’s experience.
Accept current circumstances. Give up any illusion that you can control things (traffic jams, slow clerks) and remind yourself that every moment is the only place your life is occurring. No road rage required.
Find your sense of humor. Humor helps deflect impatience. If you can find something funny in the face of an impatient moment, you can pull yourself out of it. One trick is to look around your situation and find the person (besides yourself) that’s about to have a patience meltdown. Watch closely; there’s usually a whole lot of funny there. You don’t want to look like that, do you?"
Because being impatient and a type-A personality isn't good for your health:
"Herb Palmer admits to being a type A personality. “I was the classic angry guy in rush hour traffic beeping the horn. All lines made me mad,” says Palmer, a 40-something author in Morris Plains, N.J. “What I finally figured out was it wasn’t the traffic or the lines — it was me.”
If you have trouble waiting in line, become annoyed and swear at other drivers in traffic, and go ballistic when the person in front of you at the 10-item-or-less checkout counter has 12 items, you can relate. Patience anyone?
Maybe you’ve cataloged your lack of patience as a sign of being a high energy, hard charging, successful individual, and you’re probably right. But make no mistake; it comes at a price to your health.
“What we know from research is that these individuals are prone to heart disease, hypertension and more medical problems across the board than their more laid back counterparts,” says Dale Archer, a psychiatrist and author of the forthcoming “Better than Normal: How What Makes You Different Can Make You Exceptional.”
Called time urgency impatience, and typically characterized in Type A personalities, these people expect everything to be done ASAP. Basically it’s an obsessive concern for time. It stems from the false urgency that comes from being concerned about maximizing every second of the day. They likely look at the clock regularly, too. These are the folks punching the elevator button repeatedly as if that makes it arrive faster.
When every minute is that sense of panic and rush, it triggers the classic fight or flight response, where hormones flood the body and brain, which is fine in a life or death situation, but not so good when it’s turned on all day every day. After a while, impatience leads to irritability, which leads to anger, which leads to clogged arteries down the road.
“Everybody thinking they don’t have enough time to do this or that that tells the brain, at least the primitive emotional hub called the amygdala, that every minute of the day is an emergency,” says Joe Robinson, a work/life balance expert and author of “Don’t Miss Your Life.”
It’s actually an altered state — akin to being drunk, because you do things in your time urgent state that you would never do otherwise: Seethe with anger and blare the horn when the person in front of you doesn’t move within a second of the green light. “These are people that are just on the edge of going over,” says Robinson.
We’re also trained in this culture to believe that anything that’s not output or production doesn’t have value, so were always trying to maximize every second. That’s the insidious thing about time urgency; we’re trying to fill up every second of the day instead of making the day more fulfilling.
Naturally, technology aggravates the condition. Instant gratification is at an all time high as well as attention spans at an all time low. To have patience, you have to have an attention span and those are being eroded by our smart phones, iPads, computers and constant connectivity. “The more you check email, the more you have to check it. It erodes a part of the brain that regulates your impulse control,” says Robinson. And when the impulse control mechanism goes on the blink, it’s easy to fly off the handle if something isn’t instantaneous.
Problem is you can get away with it for a while. “I think younger people embrace it and don’t see it as a problem,” says Archer. When people start seeing the side effects of anxiety and panic attacks, destroy their relationships because things don’t happen as fast as they want, or have road rage on the highway, then they see it as a problem. Studies show you really don’t reap the negative medical effects until 40 or 45 years old.
But don’t wait until you develop heart disease. Fortunately impatience is not a personality trait, it's a behavior. Start by asking yourself why waiting makes you crazy. Impatient people often feel they're special and should be free of the annoying inconveniences of life. Their time is more valuable than the rest of ours. Throw out that mantra and slip into the real world. “It’s not what happens in your day that makes you mad, it’s who you are and how to handle what happens in your day that makes the difference,” says Palmer.
Here’s how to nab more patience:
Schedule leisure time with a focus. Find activities toget your attention back and ditch time urgency by focusing your mind on a target. Play badminton or ping pong where you focus on the shuttle cock or ball going back and forth, or take up salsa dancing where you can’t space out for a second or you won’t get the sequence. Any activity where you have to concentrate and learn something counters that false sense of urgency.
Quit checking the clock. Or don’t check it as often. Start by checking it 50 percent less than yesterday, and then cut it in half the next day. “We don’t have to check clocks as often as we do, and every time we check clocks we’re self inflicting an interruption in our work because we’re not as far along as we want to be,” says Robinson. The obsession with the future takes you away from what you are doing now.
Seek social experiences. Conversations with friends are usually in relaxed settings where you can be yourself and there’s no time pressure. Social interactions are a great antidote to time urgency: It’s not about the time or the result, it’s just about the experience of being with people and experience makes us happier than material things because they can’t be compared to anyone else’s experience.
Accept current circumstances. Give up any illusion that you can control things (traffic jams, slow clerks) and remind yourself that every moment is the only place your life is occurring. No road rage required.
Find your sense of humor. Humor helps deflect impatience. If you can find something funny in the face of an impatient moment, you can pull yourself out of it. One trick is to look around your situation and find the person (besides yourself) that’s about to have a patience meltdown. Watch closely; there’s usually a whole lot of funny there. You don’t want to look like that, do you?"
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
R-E-S-P-E-C-T: WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO ME?
Actually what brings this topic up today is a new book that came out recently, discussing another social ill: "rankism." And it brings up the question of respect. Some demand respect due to their supposed or professional "rank." But they don't always deserve it:
"Sexist, racist, elitist -- just ask any politician if these epithets sting. Now, according to the author Robert W. Fuller, we all have a new one to learn: rankist. This is the term he coined for what he says is the mother of all social injustice.
His goal in publishing the book, "Somebodies and Nobodies: Overcoming the Abuse of Rank" (New Society), was to make it "okay to discuss the uses of power with those holding positions of authority, with an eye toward distinguishing between appropriate and inappropriate uses of power."
His bottom line is not that rank itself is bad. He makes it very clear from the start that he thinks humans differ greatly in talent and skill levels and that hierarchical arrangements are the best way we've found to manage our lives.
What he means by rankism is a sort of worldwide epidemic of kicking the dog, a perpetual habit of abusing those we perceive as being lower on the ladder and of being abused by those above.
A soccer mom yelling at her kid on the sideline, an executive telling his assistant to skip lunch and go pick up his dry cleaning, a tenured professor taking credit for research done by a grad student -- all of this is rankist and has to stop.
Rankist behavior can be found at every stage in an organization; it's not always the CEO who's the culprit.
One of the most cringe-making examples I've heard of took place at the lowest rung: A magazine intern arrived for her first day on the job as chicly put together as she could be. She had agonized about her outfit all weekend, trying things on and pulling them off again, before finally settling on a black suit with a cream T-shirt and a long silk scarf draped around her neck.
When she reported for duty, she was assigned to an assistant editor, just a year or two older than herself, who'd only been employed for a few months. The assistant's workspace was crowded, with papers, books, and CDs everywhere. It was clear they would be busy.
What wasn't clear was why the assistant took a cold look at the intern in her smart new clothes and then ordered her to go under the desk and organize the morass of papers stored there. She was not to pull the material out and sort it elsewhere, she was to stay under the desk until it was all done.
Apparently, in the hours it took, the assistant sat at the desk talking on the phone, swinging her legs back and forth, occasionally kicking the intern as she spun.
When I was first told this story, I was so shocked I laughed. But my revulsion was nothing compared to what the former intern must feel every time she recalls that morning.
Fuller believes we've allowed this kind of discrimination to flourish because it seems disconnected from race or age or sexual orientation -- seems, in fact, just the way things are.
His goal is to have us identify such humiliations so that they can be ended. Put simply, his thesis is that none of us will live balanced lives until we fully embrace the principle that "dignity is not negotiable."
...[Fuller] began to see that issues of rank, of where he stood in the social order, not only governed whether or not he could get his phone calls returned, but went to the heart of the social advocacy that had come to dominate his life.
"It started off very small," Fuller notes, "but I finally realized that rank issues are everywhere -- from my own treatment of my children to the medical office." He suggests asking yourself these questions: Why is it that we "learn the names of our doctors, but not those of their assistants who schedule our appointments"?
Why do we "expect our employer to pay our benefits and contribute to our social security, yet we do not provide the same for those who do household labor for us"? Taken to their inevitable conclusions, these are not small-potato questions.
The attitudes behind our personal behavior -- this sort of sucking up to those we perceive to have authority and brushing off of those without -- have a part to play in corporate corruption, school dropout rates, even in terrorism.
This might seem far-fetched, but what Fuller argues is that "the notion of rankism is the bridge that links two revolutions of the 20th century -- civil rights and human rights."
At the macro level, equal dignity translates into social policy. "The nonnegotiable demands of a dignitarian movement are likely to include," Fuller writes, "a living wage, universal healthcare, and quality education for all."
At the level of daily life, what Fuller is promoting is shockingly simple: "The fact that life isn't fair doesn't mean we have to be unfair to each other.... We don't want authority over others half so much as we want to avoid subservience ourselves. Equal dignity both suffices and satisfies."
..."We covet the rewards that come to the somebodies of the world, so we're willing to endure a lot for a shot at the life we see them leading -- even if that shot is a long one. Should we, by hook or crook or sheer luck, acquire fame and fortune, then we too could insulate ourselves from the cruelties of life."
What's so bad about wanting that? Well, while Fuller repeatedly makes the point that he's not against earned rank and appropriate use of authority, the problem is that nine times out of ten we try to freeze the cycle, to stay "somebody" forever (have you noticed how the most successful people cluster together at a party, bolstering each other's status?), and that makes us prone to flattery and isolated from the conditions that might have inspired our success and creativity in the first place.
Tommie Smith, the superstar American sprinter who took the gold medal for the 200 meter race at the 1968 Olympic games and famously gave the black power salute at the awards ceremony, sees it this way: "Somebody, nobody -- in my time I've been both. Most of us have."
And if you don't agree that sooner or later in life each one of us will be taken for a nobody, then Fuller suggests you pay a visit to a nursing home.
Fuller's favorite example of the somebody-nobody paradigm is Einstein -- whom he groups with Darwin and (this for me was a leap) Paul McCartney -- because all of them had second acts to their lives and didn't coast on their first fame.
According to Fuller, Einstein "knew that he was ordinary and didn't fall for the somebody mystique about himself." While Einstein was certainly "asking the right scientific questions," Fuller emphasizes that Einstein was simply the first to make the right conclusions from the available data, not the only one equipped to do so.
"Long after he'd ceased to hit any jackpots, Einstein kept trying to unify the laws of physics, but he was no more successful than others in the field. Similarly, after Darwin published his theory of evolution, his work did not stand out from that of the other researchers.... [Einstein] could easily have been seduced by celebritization, but he knew his rank had been earned in physics and physics alone, and instinctively avoided the accompanying enticements of fame -- declining, for example, the presidency of Israel."
The lack of such awareness, Fuller argues, leads to hero worship and abuse of rank, the "mortar," as he would have it, of the rankist world we inhabit.
Instilling respect up and down the chain of command so that we can rebalance our relationships in the workplace, at home, even in how we as a nation treat other nations, is an idea that is not new, of course; Fuller cites several pages worth of books to read that have touched on these ideas.
But the prospect of a dignitarian movement that links all of these spheres is new. As we've seen, in everything from the anger over the abuse of power that Enron represents to the challenge to the Catholic Church's authority, this is a movement that started before it had a label. Now Fuller has given the target a name.
"That's what victims of rankism need in order to protest it, that's what links it to the other great protest movements," he says.
What happens next? Fuller hopes that we've embarked on a decades-long conversation that will radically alter how we treat one another.
"It's going to be as unpleasant and as uncomfortable as was the conversation about sexism, and it will reverberate in the family, the bedroom, the boardroom, internationally," Fuller says, smiling slightly to indicate that he's aware how grandiose he sounds.
This man who has set out, quixotically perhaps but with great sincerity, to improve the world glows with the sort of visionary fervor that comes from having seen a better tomorrow.
As he sees it, we're closing in on a time when we will view rankism "in the same way that most of us have now come to view racism and sexism -- as behaviors no longer to be sanctioned. It is not hard to imagine a day when everyone's equal dignity will be as self-evident as everyone's equal right to own property or to free speech."
In my own story, understanding what Bob Fuller has seen definitely qualifies as a eureka moment."
Interesting. How much do you want to bet that somewhere, in the past, somebody out there sought to pull a little "rankism" on someone with Moebius or a physical difference? Why? Because they thought they could.
"We must believe that we are gifted for something and that
this thing must be attained."
-Marie Curie
Actually what brings this topic up today is a new book that came out recently, discussing another social ill: "rankism." And it brings up the question of respect. Some demand respect due to their supposed or professional "rank." But they don't always deserve it:
"Sexist, racist, elitist -- just ask any politician if these epithets sting. Now, according to the author Robert W. Fuller, we all have a new one to learn: rankist. This is the term he coined for what he says is the mother of all social injustice.
His goal in publishing the book, "Somebodies and Nobodies: Overcoming the Abuse of Rank" (New Society), was to make it "okay to discuss the uses of power with those holding positions of authority, with an eye toward distinguishing between appropriate and inappropriate uses of power."
His bottom line is not that rank itself is bad. He makes it very clear from the start that he thinks humans differ greatly in talent and skill levels and that hierarchical arrangements are the best way we've found to manage our lives.
What he means by rankism is a sort of worldwide epidemic of kicking the dog, a perpetual habit of abusing those we perceive as being lower on the ladder and of being abused by those above.
A soccer mom yelling at her kid on the sideline, an executive telling his assistant to skip lunch and go pick up his dry cleaning, a tenured professor taking credit for research done by a grad student -- all of this is rankist and has to stop.
Rankist behavior can be found at every stage in an organization; it's not always the CEO who's the culprit.
One of the most cringe-making examples I've heard of took place at the lowest rung: A magazine intern arrived for her first day on the job as chicly put together as she could be. She had agonized about her outfit all weekend, trying things on and pulling them off again, before finally settling on a black suit with a cream T-shirt and a long silk scarf draped around her neck.
When she reported for duty, she was assigned to an assistant editor, just a year or two older than herself, who'd only been employed for a few months. The assistant's workspace was crowded, with papers, books, and CDs everywhere. It was clear they would be busy.
What wasn't clear was why the assistant took a cold look at the intern in her smart new clothes and then ordered her to go under the desk and organize the morass of papers stored there. She was not to pull the material out and sort it elsewhere, she was to stay under the desk until it was all done.
Apparently, in the hours it took, the assistant sat at the desk talking on the phone, swinging her legs back and forth, occasionally kicking the intern as she spun.
When I was first told this story, I was so shocked I laughed. But my revulsion was nothing compared to what the former intern must feel every time she recalls that morning.
Fuller believes we've allowed this kind of discrimination to flourish because it seems disconnected from race or age or sexual orientation -- seems, in fact, just the way things are.
His goal is to have us identify such humiliations so that they can be ended. Put simply, his thesis is that none of us will live balanced lives until we fully embrace the principle that "dignity is not negotiable."
...[Fuller] began to see that issues of rank, of where he stood in the social order, not only governed whether or not he could get his phone calls returned, but went to the heart of the social advocacy that had come to dominate his life.
"It started off very small," Fuller notes, "but I finally realized that rank issues are everywhere -- from my own treatment of my children to the medical office." He suggests asking yourself these questions: Why is it that we "learn the names of our doctors, but not those of their assistants who schedule our appointments"?
Why do we "expect our employer to pay our benefits and contribute to our social security, yet we do not provide the same for those who do household labor for us"? Taken to their inevitable conclusions, these are not small-potato questions.
The attitudes behind our personal behavior -- this sort of sucking up to those we perceive to have authority and brushing off of those without -- have a part to play in corporate corruption, school dropout rates, even in terrorism.
This might seem far-fetched, but what Fuller argues is that "the notion of rankism is the bridge that links two revolutions of the 20th century -- civil rights and human rights."
At the macro level, equal dignity translates into social policy. "The nonnegotiable demands of a dignitarian movement are likely to include," Fuller writes, "a living wage, universal healthcare, and quality education for all."
At the level of daily life, what Fuller is promoting is shockingly simple: "The fact that life isn't fair doesn't mean we have to be unfair to each other.... We don't want authority over others half so much as we want to avoid subservience ourselves. Equal dignity both suffices and satisfies."
..."We covet the rewards that come to the somebodies of the world, so we're willing to endure a lot for a shot at the life we see them leading -- even if that shot is a long one. Should we, by hook or crook or sheer luck, acquire fame and fortune, then we too could insulate ourselves from the cruelties of life."
What's so bad about wanting that? Well, while Fuller repeatedly makes the point that he's not against earned rank and appropriate use of authority, the problem is that nine times out of ten we try to freeze the cycle, to stay "somebody" forever (have you noticed how the most successful people cluster together at a party, bolstering each other's status?), and that makes us prone to flattery and isolated from the conditions that might have inspired our success and creativity in the first place.
Tommie Smith, the superstar American sprinter who took the gold medal for the 200 meter race at the 1968 Olympic games and famously gave the black power salute at the awards ceremony, sees it this way: "Somebody, nobody -- in my time I've been both. Most of us have."
And if you don't agree that sooner or later in life each one of us will be taken for a nobody, then Fuller suggests you pay a visit to a nursing home.
Fuller's favorite example of the somebody-nobody paradigm is Einstein -- whom he groups with Darwin and (this for me was a leap) Paul McCartney -- because all of them had second acts to their lives and didn't coast on their first fame.
According to Fuller, Einstein "knew that he was ordinary and didn't fall for the somebody mystique about himself." While Einstein was certainly "asking the right scientific questions," Fuller emphasizes that Einstein was simply the first to make the right conclusions from the available data, not the only one equipped to do so.
"Long after he'd ceased to hit any jackpots, Einstein kept trying to unify the laws of physics, but he was no more successful than others in the field. Similarly, after Darwin published his theory of evolution, his work did not stand out from that of the other researchers.... [Einstein] could easily have been seduced by celebritization, but he knew his rank had been earned in physics and physics alone, and instinctively avoided the accompanying enticements of fame -- declining, for example, the presidency of Israel."
The lack of such awareness, Fuller argues, leads to hero worship and abuse of rank, the "mortar," as he would have it, of the rankist world we inhabit.
Instilling respect up and down the chain of command so that we can rebalance our relationships in the workplace, at home, even in how we as a nation treat other nations, is an idea that is not new, of course; Fuller cites several pages worth of books to read that have touched on these ideas.
But the prospect of a dignitarian movement that links all of these spheres is new. As we've seen, in everything from the anger over the abuse of power that Enron represents to the challenge to the Catholic Church's authority, this is a movement that started before it had a label. Now Fuller has given the target a name.
"That's what victims of rankism need in order to protest it, that's what links it to the other great protest movements," he says.
What happens next? Fuller hopes that we've embarked on a decades-long conversation that will radically alter how we treat one another.
"It's going to be as unpleasant and as uncomfortable as was the conversation about sexism, and it will reverberate in the family, the bedroom, the boardroom, internationally," Fuller says, smiling slightly to indicate that he's aware how grandiose he sounds.
This man who has set out, quixotically perhaps but with great sincerity, to improve the world glows with the sort of visionary fervor that comes from having seen a better tomorrow.
As he sees it, we're closing in on a time when we will view rankism "in the same way that most of us have now come to view racism and sexism -- as behaviors no longer to be sanctioned. It is not hard to imagine a day when everyone's equal dignity will be as self-evident as everyone's equal right to own property or to free speech."
In my own story, understanding what Bob Fuller has seen definitely qualifies as a eureka moment."
Interesting. How much do you want to bet that somewhere, in the past, somebody out there sought to pull a little "rankism" on someone with Moebius or a physical difference? Why? Because they thought they could.
"We must believe that we are gifted for something and that
this thing must be attained."
-Marie Curie
Monday, June 13, 2011
I JUST CAN'T RESIST
Today, a bit of a sports aside, but...hey, let's face it, it's not really a stretch, one that has a tie-in for all of us with Moebius. And it's this: the Dallas Mavericks are now NBA champions, beating the Miami Heat last night to take the NBA Finals, 4 games to 2. And when the playoffs began nearly two months ago, nobody believed in the Mavs and their superstar, Dirk Nowitzki, or in their soon to be hall of fame point guard, Jason Kidd. Nah--the Mavs were aging, they were too soft, they couldn't do this, they couldn't do that. But, and I know it seems trite and way too simple, but eventually the Mavs' hard work, determination, and try-try-try again spirit...led to something. How many times have people hinted to those of you with Moebius or with other physical differences that you'll never be able to do this or that? Well, always remember--they said that to Dirk and the Mavs too. But now:
"The Dallas Mavericks are kings of the hill.
The Mavericks defeated a Miami team that all but promised this city a championship; in the process, Dallas won the first championship in franchise history. With their 105-95 victory in Game 6, the Mavericks won an odd, contentious series that became a game-to-game referendum on LeBron James, who set this entire process in motion last July when he announced that he was leaving Cleveland to join Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh in South Beach.
James’s nationally televised announcement ignited a backlash that crested in this series and will only intensify in the wake of his finals implosion. He will have all summer to unravel that drama for anyone who cares to watch.
The real story is Dallas and its two veteran stars, Jason Kidd and Dirk Nowitzki. Nowitzki and Kidd can finally exhale and remove their names from a list of infamy: longtime N.B.A. vets who never won a championship.
In Kidd’s 17th season and Nowitzki’s 13th, they are finally part of the championship club.
“If I would have won one early in my career, maybe I would have never put all the work and the time in that I have over the last 13 years,” Nowitzki said. “So this feels amazing.”
"I know I can, I know I can."---Little Train that Could.
Today, a bit of a sports aside, but...hey, let's face it, it's not really a stretch, one that has a tie-in for all of us with Moebius. And it's this: the Dallas Mavericks are now NBA champions, beating the Miami Heat last night to take the NBA Finals, 4 games to 2. And when the playoffs began nearly two months ago, nobody believed in the Mavs and their superstar, Dirk Nowitzki, or in their soon to be hall of fame point guard, Jason Kidd. Nah--the Mavs were aging, they were too soft, they couldn't do this, they couldn't do that. But, and I know it seems trite and way too simple, but eventually the Mavs' hard work, determination, and try-try-try again spirit...led to something. How many times have people hinted to those of you with Moebius or with other physical differences that you'll never be able to do this or that? Well, always remember--they said that to Dirk and the Mavs too. But now:
"The Dallas Mavericks are kings of the hill.
The Mavericks defeated a Miami team that all but promised this city a championship; in the process, Dallas won the first championship in franchise history. With their 105-95 victory in Game 6, the Mavericks won an odd, contentious series that became a game-to-game referendum on LeBron James, who set this entire process in motion last July when he announced that he was leaving Cleveland to join Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh in South Beach.
James’s nationally televised announcement ignited a backlash that crested in this series and will only intensify in the wake of his finals implosion. He will have all summer to unravel that drama for anyone who cares to watch.
The real story is Dallas and its two veteran stars, Jason Kidd and Dirk Nowitzki. Nowitzki and Kidd can finally exhale and remove their names from a list of infamy: longtime N.B.A. vets who never won a championship.
In Kidd’s 17th season and Nowitzki’s 13th, they are finally part of the championship club.
“If I would have won one early in my career, maybe I would have never put all the work and the time in that I have over the last 13 years,” Nowitzki said. “So this feels amazing.”
"I know I can, I know I can."---Little Train that Could.
Friday, June 10, 2011
DOES SARCASM BREED CREATIVITY?
A bunch of super-smart scientists seem to think so. Figures, right? I suppose it took them a million years to figure THAT out! Heh...Seriously, the article is a bit tongue-in-cheek, but is interesting:
"Here's an terribly "important" new finding: Hearing sarcastic remarks makes you more creative. Yeah, right.
Seriously, though: Israeli researchers found that when people overheard anger conveyed in a sarcastic way, they were better able to solve creative problems, according to a recent report in the Journal of Applied Psychology. (You can find the paper here, but you'll need to purchase it. How convenient.)
In one experiment, researchers recruited 184 Israeli undergrads, all engineering students, and had them listen to one of three versions of a fake customer service center phone call. In each conversation, a customer called to complain about cell phone service problems -- the "customer's" speech was either angry ("Your service is extremely inefficient! You make deliveries only between 9 a.m. and 12 p.m.! This is an outrage!"), sarcastic ("Your service is 'fast as a turtle.' You make deliveries only between 9 a.m. and 12 p.m. These hours are just 'perfect' for working people.") or neutral.
After eavesdropping on these pretend exchanges, the participants were asked to solve a series of problems -- some creative, some analytic. Here's an example of a creative question:
A room has three light switches. You can switch them on and off as you wish and then go to another room where there are three light bulbs. How can you identify which switch belongs to which light bulb? You cannot return to the room with the switches, the wall between the rooms is sealed, and the door is closed.
And an analytical question:
Together three employees were paid $750. The first employee received twice as much as the second employee and $50 less than the third employee. How much money did each of the employees receive?
The results? "Observing anger enhanced analytic problem solving, but hindered the solving of creative problems," write Dorit Efrat-Treister, Anat Rafaeli and Orit Scwarz-Cohen, all of Technion-Israel Institute of Technology, along with Ella Miron-Spektor of Bar-Ilan University. They add that "observing sarcasm improved the solving of creative problems."
Understanding sarcasm involves a bit of complex thinking on our part -- the phrase "yeah, right," when said in a sarcastic tone, can't be taken at face value. (Duh.)
In the report, the researchers explain, "Sarcastic expressions of anger, in contrast to direct expressions, can have a positive effect on complex thinking and on solving of creative problems. The incongruent information inherent in sarcasm appears to stimulate complex thinking and to attenuate the otherwise negative effects of anger."
The real-life implications of this research might apply to the office, or your home life: If you're angry, you might want to express your fury with a healthy dose of sarcasm.
"We suggest that displays of anger in organizations require close scrutiny because their effects may backfire: Displays intended to lead to improvements may actually hamper employee performance, if employee tasks require complex and creative thinking," explain the researchers. "The potentially positive effects of sarcastic expressions suggests that with some irony and humor, an anger-evoking situation can be turned into better employee performance even if the problem at hand is complex."
"There is one quality which one must possess to win, and
that is definiteness of purpose, the knowledge of what one
wants, and a burning desire to possess it."
-Napoleon Hill
A bunch of super-smart scientists seem to think so. Figures, right? I suppose it took them a million years to figure THAT out! Heh...Seriously, the article is a bit tongue-in-cheek, but is interesting:
"Here's an terribly "important" new finding: Hearing sarcastic remarks makes you more creative. Yeah, right.
Seriously, though: Israeli researchers found that when people overheard anger conveyed in a sarcastic way, they were better able to solve creative problems, according to a recent report in the Journal of Applied Psychology. (You can find the paper here, but you'll need to purchase it. How convenient.)
In one experiment, researchers recruited 184 Israeli undergrads, all engineering students, and had them listen to one of three versions of a fake customer service center phone call. In each conversation, a customer called to complain about cell phone service problems -- the "customer's" speech was either angry ("Your service is extremely inefficient! You make deliveries only between 9 a.m. and 12 p.m.! This is an outrage!"), sarcastic ("Your service is 'fast as a turtle.' You make deliveries only between 9 a.m. and 12 p.m. These hours are just 'perfect' for working people.") or neutral.
After eavesdropping on these pretend exchanges, the participants were asked to solve a series of problems -- some creative, some analytic. Here's an example of a creative question:
A room has three light switches. You can switch them on and off as you wish and then go to another room where there are three light bulbs. How can you identify which switch belongs to which light bulb? You cannot return to the room with the switches, the wall between the rooms is sealed, and the door is closed.
And an analytical question:
Together three employees were paid $750. The first employee received twice as much as the second employee and $50 less than the third employee. How much money did each of the employees receive?
The results? "Observing anger enhanced analytic problem solving, but hindered the solving of creative problems," write Dorit Efrat-Treister, Anat Rafaeli and Orit Scwarz-Cohen, all of Technion-Israel Institute of Technology, along with Ella Miron-Spektor of Bar-Ilan University. They add that "observing sarcasm improved the solving of creative problems."
Understanding sarcasm involves a bit of complex thinking on our part -- the phrase "yeah, right," when said in a sarcastic tone, can't be taken at face value. (Duh.)
In the report, the researchers explain, "Sarcastic expressions of anger, in contrast to direct expressions, can have a positive effect on complex thinking and on solving of creative problems. The incongruent information inherent in sarcasm appears to stimulate complex thinking and to attenuate the otherwise negative effects of anger."
The real-life implications of this research might apply to the office, or your home life: If you're angry, you might want to express your fury with a healthy dose of sarcasm.
"We suggest that displays of anger in organizations require close scrutiny because their effects may backfire: Displays intended to lead to improvements may actually hamper employee performance, if employee tasks require complex and creative thinking," explain the researchers. "The potentially positive effects of sarcastic expressions suggests that with some irony and humor, an anger-evoking situation can be turned into better employee performance even if the problem at hand is complex."
"There is one quality which one must possess to win, and
that is definiteness of purpose, the knowledge of what one
wants, and a burning desire to possess it."
-Napoleon Hill
Thursday, June 9, 2011
THE WORK OF ABOUT FACE
The organization "About Face" does some excellent work out there in the world; here's yet more examples of it:
"Watching two-year-old Jackson Leonard play with his drums, Thomas the Tank Engine trains, and bright red smooching Elmo, it’s easy to forget this toddler
once had a large hole in his face. But a photo of Jackson on the living room wall shows how he looked as an infant, before surgeries to repair his cleft lip and palate.
While it’s obvious from scars around his upper lip that Jackson has had surgery, it’s his brown eyes, big smile and willingness to give a stranger a hug that leaves the biggest mark on those who meet him for the first time.
Babies with facial birth defects often have feeding issues and problems with their teeth and speech. Many children need braces and speech therapy. Amanda Leonard said she’s learned a lot about her son’s health problems from the Janeway’s craniofacial team.
She also attends various events in this province organized by the Toronto-based organization AboutFace. The national organization supports people with facial disfigurements.
According to AboutFace statistics, 10,000 babies are born every year in Canada with facial birth defects. Cleft lip and palate is the most common condition, occurring in one out of every 600 live births.
Lisa Sooley became involved with the organization after her son Kyle (now four) was born with a cleft lip and palate. As an AboutFace volunteer community representative, Sooley hosts parent and baby support group meetings.
With the help of the Janeway’s craniofacial team, she also organizes a yearly camp for youth and an annual picnic for children and their families. When Jackson was a baby, his mother often talked about feeding and other issues with Sooley and other parents she’s met through About Face.
Babies with a cleft lip and palate need to be fed with a special bottle, Leonard said. The bottles cannot be sterilized by boiling them. “Even little things like that, they are questions that you can only ask a parent who has gone through a similar situation,” she said. Leonard and her husband Terrence Leonard also worried about taking Jackson’s bottle away earlier than most babies are weaned. Babies need to be off the bottle before their palate is repaired. “Just talking with other parents about what cups worked good really helped,” she said.
“I still worry to this day how he will be treated in school because
Like Leonard, Sooley also turned to the Janeway’s craniofacial team when Kyle was born. The professional advice she received helped her a great deal, she said.
As a mother, Sooley said, she knew she could handle whatever problems Kyle would encounter. Initially, however, she said she was afraid to show people pictures of Kyle — afraid of their reaction.
http://www.thetelegram.com/News/Local/2011-06-06/article-2561543/Only-skin-deep/1 Page 1 of 2
“I was so happy with my family and friends’ reactions. They didn’t even see the cleft lip ... they just seen him.” That’s not true where strangers are concerned, she said. Sooley said when out in public, some people approached her to say how sorry they were about Kyle’s birth defect. She heard the expression “what a sin” a lot, she said, before Kyle had his surgeries.
“I still worry to this day how he will be treated in school because kids can be very mean. ... But, let’s face it, you don’t need to have a facial difference these days to be bullied,” Sooley says.
Sooley is fundraising to provide schools in this province with an educational program offered by About Face.
Paul Stanley, of the rock band Kiss, created the program to help students change their attitudes towards people with facial differences. (Stanley was born with an ear deformity.)
Fourteen-year-old Brittany Lane of Bishop’s Falls attends Camp Trailblazers every year. Brittany was also born with a cleft lip and palate which was repaired when she was a baby. “I like how everyone gets a chance to show their different feelings and show how they really feel about their facial differences,” Brittany said."
Keep up the good work!
The organization "About Face" does some excellent work out there in the world; here's yet more examples of it:
"Watching two-year-old Jackson Leonard play with his drums, Thomas the Tank Engine trains, and bright red smooching Elmo, it’s easy to forget this toddler
once had a large hole in his face. But a photo of Jackson on the living room wall shows how he looked as an infant, before surgeries to repair his cleft lip and palate.
While it’s obvious from scars around his upper lip that Jackson has had surgery, it’s his brown eyes, big smile and willingness to give a stranger a hug that leaves the biggest mark on those who meet him for the first time.
Babies with facial birth defects often have feeding issues and problems with their teeth and speech. Many children need braces and speech therapy. Amanda Leonard said she’s learned a lot about her son’s health problems from the Janeway’s craniofacial team.
She also attends various events in this province organized by the Toronto-based organization AboutFace. The national organization supports people with facial disfigurements.
According to AboutFace statistics, 10,000 babies are born every year in Canada with facial birth defects. Cleft lip and palate is the most common condition, occurring in one out of every 600 live births.
Lisa Sooley became involved with the organization after her son Kyle (now four) was born with a cleft lip and palate. As an AboutFace volunteer community representative, Sooley hosts parent and baby support group meetings.
With the help of the Janeway’s craniofacial team, she also organizes a yearly camp for youth and an annual picnic for children and their families. When Jackson was a baby, his mother often talked about feeding and other issues with Sooley and other parents she’s met through About Face.
Babies with a cleft lip and palate need to be fed with a special bottle, Leonard said. The bottles cannot be sterilized by boiling them. “Even little things like that, they are questions that you can only ask a parent who has gone through a similar situation,” she said. Leonard and her husband Terrence Leonard also worried about taking Jackson’s bottle away earlier than most babies are weaned. Babies need to be off the bottle before their palate is repaired. “Just talking with other parents about what cups worked good really helped,” she said.
“I still worry to this day how he will be treated in school because
Like Leonard, Sooley also turned to the Janeway’s craniofacial team when Kyle was born. The professional advice she received helped her a great deal, she said.
As a mother, Sooley said, she knew she could handle whatever problems Kyle would encounter. Initially, however, she said she was afraid to show people pictures of Kyle — afraid of their reaction.
http://www.thetelegram.com/News/Local/2011-06-06/article-2561543/Only-skin-deep/1 Page 1 of 2
“I was so happy with my family and friends’ reactions. They didn’t even see the cleft lip ... they just seen him.” That’s not true where strangers are concerned, she said. Sooley said when out in public, some people approached her to say how sorry they were about Kyle’s birth defect. She heard the expression “what a sin” a lot, she said, before Kyle had his surgeries.
“I still worry to this day how he will be treated in school because kids can be very mean. ... But, let’s face it, you don’t need to have a facial difference these days to be bullied,” Sooley says.
Sooley is fundraising to provide schools in this province with an educational program offered by About Face.
Paul Stanley, of the rock band Kiss, created the program to help students change their attitudes towards people with facial differences. (Stanley was born with an ear deformity.)
Fourteen-year-old Brittany Lane of Bishop’s Falls attends Camp Trailblazers every year. Brittany was also born with a cleft lip and palate which was repaired when she was a baby. “I like how everyone gets a chance to show their different feelings and show how they really feel about their facial differences,” Brittany said."
Keep up the good work!
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
MORE REASONS NOT TO TAKE BULLYING LIGHTLY
Not that persons with Moebius, or a facial difference, or parents of children with Moebius, need to be reminded of this. But the facts are--one who bullies at a young age may well continue to do so into adulthood:
"Schoolyard bullies are likely to grow up to be adults who abuse their wives and girlfriends, according to a new study.
The study, published this week in the journal Pediatrics, surveyed more than 1,400 men between that ages of 18 and 35 at an urban community center in Boston. It found that men who recalled being frequent bullies in school were four times more likely to physically abuse their partner than those who reported never bullying in school.
"Individuals who are likely to perpetrate abusive behaviors against others may do so across childhood into adulthood," concluded the report, which was led by researchers at the Harvard School of Public Health.
The study also found a link between "bullying others at school and perpetration of IPV (intimate partner violence]."
It was the latest study to indicate that many bullies do not outgrow their aggression. Past research has shown that bullies are at a higher risk of bullying their own kids, losing a job, and getting involved in the criminal justice system.
Adults with a history of bullying are 10 times more likely to lie than those with no bullying history, according to a study published in the September 2010 Psychiatric Quarterly. They also have a higher likelihood of stealing and cheating, the study found.
Mounting research suggests that for both men and women bullies tend to remain bullies. Women, however, are less likely to be the aggressor in an intimate partner relationship, according to developmental and behavioral psychologist Lori Warner in Royal Oak, Mich., who was not involved with the Harvard-led study.
"Girls who are engaging in actual bullying in school, it's typically a social, emotional type of bullying," said Warner. "Boys are more likely to be physically aggressive."
The study was not clear on the age of the men first began to bully, or for how long they bullied others.
"We really need to look at the timing and duration on the type of bullying that occurs," said Kathryn Falb, a research assistant and doctoral candidate at Harvard School of Public Health, who co-authored the study.
The new study indicates that identifying bullies when they are young and changing their behavior can have significant consequences, particularly for women who might otherwise be abused.
One such program is the peer advocate program at the PACER National Bullying Center in Minnesota. And one of its graduates is Kailey Simpson, a 14-year-old who now considers herself a reformed bully.
Kailey, from Howard Lake, Minn., said she had been a bully since at least sixth grade when she coined herself the equal opportunity bully. But after entering a peer advocate program through PACER National Bullying Prevention Center, Kailey has learned instead to stand up for others, particularly those who are bullied. "Once you grow up, you get more mature about it," said Simpson.
Warner said that many effective programs target the root problems of adolescents that cause bullying.
"Research does indicate that in many cases, the bullies are getting their behavior from somewhere. They have witnessed like behavior," said Warner. "One of the biggest risk factors is their environment."
Many bully prevention programs are just emerging, so there's no evidence yet to say whether they can prevent bullies from sustaining their behavior in the long run.
Many programs, including PACER's peer advocate program, cite high success rates when it comes to curbing bullying in schools. Warner said that the short term success could imply that it'll help some kids in the long run.
"We'll be proactive if we're stopping bullies in the playground before they are involved in adult crimes," said Warner."
Again, parents---make sure officials at the schools your children attend know of research like this.
"What I need most is someone to make me do what I can---not
what Lincoln did but what I can do." -Emerson
Not that persons with Moebius, or a facial difference, or parents of children with Moebius, need to be reminded of this. But the facts are--one who bullies at a young age may well continue to do so into adulthood:
"Schoolyard bullies are likely to grow up to be adults who abuse their wives and girlfriends, according to a new study.
The study, published this week in the journal Pediatrics, surveyed more than 1,400 men between that ages of 18 and 35 at an urban community center in Boston. It found that men who recalled being frequent bullies in school were four times more likely to physically abuse their partner than those who reported never bullying in school.
"Individuals who are likely to perpetrate abusive behaviors against others may do so across childhood into adulthood," concluded the report, which was led by researchers at the Harvard School of Public Health.
The study also found a link between "bullying others at school and perpetration of IPV (intimate partner violence]."
It was the latest study to indicate that many bullies do not outgrow their aggression. Past research has shown that bullies are at a higher risk of bullying their own kids, losing a job, and getting involved in the criminal justice system.
Adults with a history of bullying are 10 times more likely to lie than those with no bullying history, according to a study published in the September 2010 Psychiatric Quarterly. They also have a higher likelihood of stealing and cheating, the study found.
Mounting research suggests that for both men and women bullies tend to remain bullies. Women, however, are less likely to be the aggressor in an intimate partner relationship, according to developmental and behavioral psychologist Lori Warner in Royal Oak, Mich., who was not involved with the Harvard-led study.
"Girls who are engaging in actual bullying in school, it's typically a social, emotional type of bullying," said Warner. "Boys are more likely to be physically aggressive."
The study was not clear on the age of the men first began to bully, or for how long they bullied others.
"We really need to look at the timing and duration on the type of bullying that occurs," said Kathryn Falb, a research assistant and doctoral candidate at Harvard School of Public Health, who co-authored the study.
The new study indicates that identifying bullies when they are young and changing their behavior can have significant consequences, particularly for women who might otherwise be abused.
One such program is the peer advocate program at the PACER National Bullying Center in Minnesota. And one of its graduates is Kailey Simpson, a 14-year-old who now considers herself a reformed bully.
Kailey, from Howard Lake, Minn., said she had been a bully since at least sixth grade when she coined herself the equal opportunity bully. But after entering a peer advocate program through PACER National Bullying Prevention Center, Kailey has learned instead to stand up for others, particularly those who are bullied. "Once you grow up, you get more mature about it," said Simpson.
Warner said that many effective programs target the root problems of adolescents that cause bullying.
"Research does indicate that in many cases, the bullies are getting their behavior from somewhere. They have witnessed like behavior," said Warner. "One of the biggest risk factors is their environment."
Many bully prevention programs are just emerging, so there's no evidence yet to say whether they can prevent bullies from sustaining their behavior in the long run.
Many programs, including PACER's peer advocate program, cite high success rates when it comes to curbing bullying in schools. Warner said that the short term success could imply that it'll help some kids in the long run.
"We'll be proactive if we're stopping bullies in the playground before they are involved in adult crimes," said Warner."
Again, parents---make sure officials at the schools your children attend know of research like this.
"What I need most is someone to make me do what I can---not
what Lincoln did but what I can do." -Emerson
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
YAWN. YOU'RE BORED. BUT THAT MIGHT BE GOOD
Or so says the author of a new book:
"Yawn. Welcome to Tuesday, arguably the dullest day of the week. But a new book argues that there might be some surprising benefits to experiencing ennui. We asked Peter Toohey, a University of Calgary professor and the author of "Boredom: A Lively History," to explain.
Q: What could possibly be a benefit of boredom?
A: (Boredom) is a first cousin of disgust. When people are bored, they are somewhat disgusted -- they talk about being "fed up." So what it’s designed to do is protect you against certain situations that can be injurious.
It (makes) you change your situation. It’s a warning we almost always act upon. One of the more obvious upsides is, a lot of people link it with creativity. You’ve got to fall into the deep, the absolute misery, and then something comes out of your brain. A lot of people talk about the value of daydreaming, which can also be the product of boring or mildly boring situations, and your best ideas may come from it."
Read the whole thing. You won't be bored. :+)
BRAIN TALK
How can we learn to perceive patterns better? There are new ways being found...:
"Like any other high school junior, Wynn Haimer has a few holes in his academic game. Graphs and equations, for instance: He gets the idea, fine — one is a linear representation of the other — but making those conversions is often a headache.
Or at least it was. For about a month now, Wynn, 17, has been practicing at home using an unusual online program that prompts him to match graphs to equations, dozens upon dozens of them, and fast, often before he has time to work out the correct answer. An equation appears on the screen, and below it three graphs (or vice versa, a graph with three equations). He clicks on one and the screen flashes to tell him whether he’s right or wrong and jumps to the next problem.
“I’m much better at it,” he said, in a phone interview from his school, New Roads in Santa Monica, Calif. “In the beginning it was difficult, having to work so quickly; but you sort of get used to it, and in the end it’s more intuitive. It becomes more effortless.”
For years school curriculums have emphasized top-down instruction, especially for topics like math and science. Learn the rules first — the theorems, the order of operations, Newton’s laws — then make a run at the problem list at the end of the chapter. Yet recent research has found that true experts have something at least as valuable as a mastery of the rules: gut instinct, an instantaneous grasp of the type of problem they’re up against. Like the ballplayer who can “read” pitches early, or the chess master who “sees” the best move, they’ve developed a great eye.
Now, a small group of cognitive scientists is arguing that schools and students could take far more advantage of this same bottom-up ability, called perceptual learning. The brain is a pattern-recognition machine, after all, and when focused properly, it can quickly deepen a person’s grasp of a principle, new studies suggest. Better yet, perceptual knowledge builds automatically: There’s no reason someone with a good eye for fashion or wordplay cannot develop an intuition for classifying rocks or mammals or algebraic equations, given a little interest or motivation.
“When facing problems in real-life situations, the first question is always, ‘What am I looking at? What kind of problem is this?’ ” said Philip J. Kellman, a psychologist at the University of California, Los Angeles. “Any theory of how we learn presupposes perceptual knowledge — that we know which facts are relevant, that we know what to look for.”
The challenge for education, Dr. Kellman added, “is what do we need to do to make this happen efficiently?”
Scientists have long known that the brain registers subtle patterns subconsciously, well before a person knows he or she is learning. In a landmark 1997 experiment, researchers at the University of Iowa found that people playing a simple gambling game with decks of cards reported “liking” some decks better than others long before they realized that those decks had cards that caused greater losses.. Some participants picked up the differences among decks after just 10 cards.
Experts develop such sensitive perceptual radar the old-fashioned way, of course, through years of study and practice. Yet there is growing evidence that a certain kind of training — visual, fast-paced, often focused on classifying problems rather then solving them — can build intuition quickly. In one recent experiment, for example, researchers found that people were better able to distinguish the painting styles of 12 unfamiliar artists after viewing mixed collections of works from all 12 than after viewing a dozen works from one artist, then moving on to the next painter. The participants’ brains began to pick up on differences before they could fully articulate them.
“Once the brain has a goal in mind, it tunes the perceptual system to search the environment” for relevant clues, said Steven Sloman, a cognitive scientist at Brown University. In time the eyes, ears and nose learn to isolate those signs and dismiss irrelevant information, in turn sharpening thinking."
Moms, Dads, students...maybe all this can help you...
"No thoroughly occupied man (or woman) was ever very miserable."
-L.E. Landon
Or so says the author of a new book:
"Yawn. Welcome to Tuesday, arguably the dullest day of the week. But a new book argues that there might be some surprising benefits to experiencing ennui. We asked Peter Toohey, a University of Calgary professor and the author of "Boredom: A Lively History," to explain.
Q: What could possibly be a benefit of boredom?
A: (Boredom) is a first cousin of disgust. When people are bored, they are somewhat disgusted -- they talk about being "fed up." So what it’s designed to do is protect you against certain situations that can be injurious.
It (makes) you change your situation. It’s a warning we almost always act upon. One of the more obvious upsides is, a lot of people link it with creativity. You’ve got to fall into the deep, the absolute misery, and then something comes out of your brain. A lot of people talk about the value of daydreaming, which can also be the product of boring or mildly boring situations, and your best ideas may come from it."
Read the whole thing. You won't be bored. :+)
BRAIN TALK
How can we learn to perceive patterns better? There are new ways being found...:
"Like any other high school junior, Wynn Haimer has a few holes in his academic game. Graphs and equations, for instance: He gets the idea, fine — one is a linear representation of the other — but making those conversions is often a headache.
Or at least it was. For about a month now, Wynn, 17, has been practicing at home using an unusual online program that prompts him to match graphs to equations, dozens upon dozens of them, and fast, often before he has time to work out the correct answer. An equation appears on the screen, and below it three graphs (or vice versa, a graph with three equations). He clicks on one and the screen flashes to tell him whether he’s right or wrong and jumps to the next problem.
“I’m much better at it,” he said, in a phone interview from his school, New Roads in Santa Monica, Calif. “In the beginning it was difficult, having to work so quickly; but you sort of get used to it, and in the end it’s more intuitive. It becomes more effortless.”
For years school curriculums have emphasized top-down instruction, especially for topics like math and science. Learn the rules first — the theorems, the order of operations, Newton’s laws — then make a run at the problem list at the end of the chapter. Yet recent research has found that true experts have something at least as valuable as a mastery of the rules: gut instinct, an instantaneous grasp of the type of problem they’re up against. Like the ballplayer who can “read” pitches early, or the chess master who “sees” the best move, they’ve developed a great eye.
Now, a small group of cognitive scientists is arguing that schools and students could take far more advantage of this same bottom-up ability, called perceptual learning. The brain is a pattern-recognition machine, after all, and when focused properly, it can quickly deepen a person’s grasp of a principle, new studies suggest. Better yet, perceptual knowledge builds automatically: There’s no reason someone with a good eye for fashion or wordplay cannot develop an intuition for classifying rocks or mammals or algebraic equations, given a little interest or motivation.
“When facing problems in real-life situations, the first question is always, ‘What am I looking at? What kind of problem is this?’ ” said Philip J. Kellman, a psychologist at the University of California, Los Angeles. “Any theory of how we learn presupposes perceptual knowledge — that we know which facts are relevant, that we know what to look for.”
The challenge for education, Dr. Kellman added, “is what do we need to do to make this happen efficiently?”
Scientists have long known that the brain registers subtle patterns subconsciously, well before a person knows he or she is learning. In a landmark 1997 experiment, researchers at the University of Iowa found that people playing a simple gambling game with decks of cards reported “liking” some decks better than others long before they realized that those decks had cards that caused greater losses.. Some participants picked up the differences among decks after just 10 cards.
Experts develop such sensitive perceptual radar the old-fashioned way, of course, through years of study and practice. Yet there is growing evidence that a certain kind of training — visual, fast-paced, often focused on classifying problems rather then solving them — can build intuition quickly. In one recent experiment, for example, researchers found that people were better able to distinguish the painting styles of 12 unfamiliar artists after viewing mixed collections of works from all 12 than after viewing a dozen works from one artist, then moving on to the next painter. The participants’ brains began to pick up on differences before they could fully articulate them.
“Once the brain has a goal in mind, it tunes the perceptual system to search the environment” for relevant clues, said Steven Sloman, a cognitive scientist at Brown University. In time the eyes, ears and nose learn to isolate those signs and dismiss irrelevant information, in turn sharpening thinking."
Moms, Dads, students...maybe all this can help you...
"No thoroughly occupied man (or woman) was ever very miserable."
-L.E. Landon
Monday, June 6, 2011
DREAMWORKS?
I notice many of my Moebius friends talking frequently about their dreams--some of them nightmares, some of them just dreams, but hey, we all have them occasionally and sometimes they stick with us. I don't know that those with Moebius dream more than others; I've never heard that proven or even seriously studied, for that matter. I know some with Moebius have night terrors. But in any case, we all dream...and we all wonder what they mean. So check out this interesting piece--do you ever have the kind of dream this talks about? Read on:
"For Theo Pauline Nestor, it’s always the “waitress nightmare.”
“I’m the only server on duty and suddenly the dining room fills with hungry customers,” says the 49-year-old writer from Seattle. “It takes me forever to take all their orders. And then by the time I do, the kitchen’s dark and the chefs have gone home.”
Nestor says the dream always ends with her having to return to the dining room to tell the hungry customers their dinners won’t be arriving.
“I’m filled with dread,” says Nestor, who hasn’t waited tables for 20 years. “I think it’s a dream about not being able to keep everyone happy no matter how hard I work. I have it about once a year, whenever I’m feeling overwhelmed.”
Anxiety dreams come in all shapes and sizes -- but whether they take you back to a hated job or the high school hallways, repetitive ones like Nestor’s waitress nightmare are very common, explains Berkeley-based dream expert Dr. Marcia Emery. But do they serve any purpose -- other than to freak us out?
“I call them ‘lost locker’ dreams,” she says. “You’re back in college, cramming for a final but you can’t find the locker or the textbook or the classroom. Or you’re giving a speech but can’t remember the words. You wake up in a sweat.”
While the dreams can be upsetting, Emery says they definitely serve a function.
“They help you check yourself out,” she says. “Their function is to get you to ask what you’re afraid of, what’s unfinished, where do you feel unprepared. They’re a wake-up call. There’s something that’s unresolved, usually an unresolved emotional problem.”
Nestor’s waitress dream, for instance, is an “overwhelm alert,” says Emery.
“With that dream, you’re on alert that you’re doing too much, that your hands are too full,” she says.
Other anxiety dreams can mean you’re ignoring something you shouldn’t.
“I knew someone who had a lost locker dream,” she says. “In his dream, he went to basketball practice but couldn’t find his locker. Or remember his combination. When he woke up, he realized he wasn’t spending much time playing basketball anymore. His dream was telling him to reclaim his athletic side that had been lost.”
Why do so many of these repetitive dreams take us back to high school, college or those horrible first jobs?
“I don’t want to oversimplify, but a lot of times it’s attached to an issue that goes back to that time,” says Emery. “If it’s high school, it’s going back to a time when you might have felt unworthy or uncomfortable about not completing your assignments. It often goes back to the time when these feelings were first generated -- when you first felt overloaded or overworked or overwhelmed.”
Dr. Beverly Thorn, a University of Alabama psychologist who specializes in stress, says one of the downsides of the repetitive anxiety dream is that the mere fact we’re having the same dream over and over stresses us out.
“We think ‘Oh my god, what does this mean? Why is this happening repeatedly?’” she says. “You set yourself up for being anxious about it and then it’s more likely to happen again. Instead, try thinking, ‘This is a normal process. This, too, shall pass.’”
She also says it’s important to reassure yourself that it’s only a dream.
“The brain does lots of wild things while we’re asleep and a lot of them have no real basis in reality,” she says. “Look at violent dreams: we don’t exactly know the purpose for them, but they’re normal and in no way suggest you’re going crazy. The more you normalize an anxiety dream and turn your attention to other things in your life, the more you’ll relax and you won’t be bothered by the dream much longer.”
Hmmm. I sometimes have a dream where I've gone back to school; but haven't finished a class, or can't find it...or, of course, I have the dream where I'm supposed to teach a class but realize I've forgotten, or again can't find it, etc. Fortunately I don't have those very often. What kinds of dreams do you have? Maybe this piece will help you make more sense of them...
In the meantime, here's a very appropriate quote for today:
"Without change, something sleeps inside us, and seldom
awakens. The sleeper must awaken." -Frank Herbert
I notice many of my Moebius friends talking frequently about their dreams--some of them nightmares, some of them just dreams, but hey, we all have them occasionally and sometimes they stick with us. I don't know that those with Moebius dream more than others; I've never heard that proven or even seriously studied, for that matter. I know some with Moebius have night terrors. But in any case, we all dream...and we all wonder what they mean. So check out this interesting piece--do you ever have the kind of dream this talks about? Read on:
"For Theo Pauline Nestor, it’s always the “waitress nightmare.”
“I’m the only server on duty and suddenly the dining room fills with hungry customers,” says the 49-year-old writer from Seattle. “It takes me forever to take all their orders. And then by the time I do, the kitchen’s dark and the chefs have gone home.”
Nestor says the dream always ends with her having to return to the dining room to tell the hungry customers their dinners won’t be arriving.
“I’m filled with dread,” says Nestor, who hasn’t waited tables for 20 years. “I think it’s a dream about not being able to keep everyone happy no matter how hard I work. I have it about once a year, whenever I’m feeling overwhelmed.”
Anxiety dreams come in all shapes and sizes -- but whether they take you back to a hated job or the high school hallways, repetitive ones like Nestor’s waitress nightmare are very common, explains Berkeley-based dream expert Dr. Marcia Emery. But do they serve any purpose -- other than to freak us out?
“I call them ‘lost locker’ dreams,” she says. “You’re back in college, cramming for a final but you can’t find the locker or the textbook or the classroom. Or you’re giving a speech but can’t remember the words. You wake up in a sweat.”
While the dreams can be upsetting, Emery says they definitely serve a function.
“They help you check yourself out,” she says. “Their function is to get you to ask what you’re afraid of, what’s unfinished, where do you feel unprepared. They’re a wake-up call. There’s something that’s unresolved, usually an unresolved emotional problem.”
Nestor’s waitress dream, for instance, is an “overwhelm alert,” says Emery.
“With that dream, you’re on alert that you’re doing too much, that your hands are too full,” she says.
Other anxiety dreams can mean you’re ignoring something you shouldn’t.
“I knew someone who had a lost locker dream,” she says. “In his dream, he went to basketball practice but couldn’t find his locker. Or remember his combination. When he woke up, he realized he wasn’t spending much time playing basketball anymore. His dream was telling him to reclaim his athletic side that had been lost.”
Why do so many of these repetitive dreams take us back to high school, college or those horrible first jobs?
“I don’t want to oversimplify, but a lot of times it’s attached to an issue that goes back to that time,” says Emery. “If it’s high school, it’s going back to a time when you might have felt unworthy or uncomfortable about not completing your assignments. It often goes back to the time when these feelings were first generated -- when you first felt overloaded or overworked or overwhelmed.”
Dr. Beverly Thorn, a University of Alabama psychologist who specializes in stress, says one of the downsides of the repetitive anxiety dream is that the mere fact we’re having the same dream over and over stresses us out.
“We think ‘Oh my god, what does this mean? Why is this happening repeatedly?’” she says. “You set yourself up for being anxious about it and then it’s more likely to happen again. Instead, try thinking, ‘This is a normal process. This, too, shall pass.’”
She also says it’s important to reassure yourself that it’s only a dream.
“The brain does lots of wild things while we’re asleep and a lot of them have no real basis in reality,” she says. “Look at violent dreams: we don’t exactly know the purpose for them, but they’re normal and in no way suggest you’re going crazy. The more you normalize an anxiety dream and turn your attention to other things in your life, the more you’ll relax and you won’t be bothered by the dream much longer.”
Hmmm. I sometimes have a dream where I've gone back to school; but haven't finished a class, or can't find it...or, of course, I have the dream where I'm supposed to teach a class but realize I've forgotten, or again can't find it, etc. Fortunately I don't have those very often. What kinds of dreams do you have? Maybe this piece will help you make more sense of them...
In the meantime, here's a very appropriate quote for today:
"Without change, something sleeps inside us, and seldom
awakens. The sleeper must awaken." -Frank Herbert
Friday, June 3, 2011
HAVING TROUBLE FALLING ASLEEP?
Then try these tested, simple remedies:
"1. Establish a regular sleep schedule and try to stick to it, even on weekends.
2. If you nap during the day, limit it to 20 or 30 minutes, preferably early in the afternoon.
3. Avoid alcohol in the evening, as it can disrupt sleep.
4. Don’t eat a big meal just before bedtime, but don’t go to bed hungry, either. Eat a light snack before bed, if needed, preferably one high in carbohydrates.
5. If you use medications that are stimulants, take them in the morning, or ask your doctor if you can switch to a nonstimulating alternative. If you use drugs that cause drowsiness, take them in the evening.
6. Get regular exercise during the day, but avoid vigorous exercise within three hours of bedtime.
7. If pressing thoughts interfere with falling asleep, write them down (keep a pad and pen next to the bed) and try to forget about them until morning.
8. If you are frequently awakened by a need to use the bathroom, cut down on how much you drink late in the day."
SPEAKING OF SLEEP--IS YOUR CHILD THE TARGET OF BULLIES?
A few of you moms and dads of Moebius children may know that this is a problem for your child. And one of the issues involved with it has to do with the sleep patterns--of the bully:
"School bullies and children who are disruptive in class are twice as likely to show signs of sleep problems compared with well-behaved children, new research shows.
The findings, based on data collected from 341 Michigan elementary school children, suggests a novel approaching to solving school bullying. Currently, most efforts to curb bullying have focused on protecting victims as well as discipline and legal actions against the bullies. The new data suggests that the problem may be better addressed, at least in part, at the source, by paying attention to some of the unique health issues associated with aggressive behavior.
The University of Michigan study, which was published in the journal Sleep Medicine, collected data from parents on each child’s sleep habits and asked both parents and teachers to assess behavioral concerns. Among the 341 children studied, about a third were identified by parents or teachers as having problems with disruptive behavior or bullying.
The researchers found that children who had behavioral issues were twice as likely to have shown symptoms of sleep-disordered breathing, like snoring or daytime sleepiness. Among children whom parents specifically identified as school bullies, the finding was similar.
The lead author, Louise O’Brien, assistant professor of sleep medicine at the University of Michigan, cautioned that the study simply shows an association between sleep problems and bad behavior and doesn’t prove that sleep problems cause bullying. That said, other research has also found an association between behavioral problems and sleep apnea, a sleep disorder characterized by snoring and gasping for breath.
“We can’t look at cause and effect, but it certainly fits with the data that’s out in the literature already,” said Dr. O’Brien. “The hypothesis is that impaired sleep does affect areas of the brain. If that’s disrupted, then emotional regulation and decision-making capabilities are impaired.”
The fact that sleepiness was so predictive of behavioral issues has implications for all children, said Dr. O’Brien, and shows the important role that sleep plays in healthy child development."
Now obviously you can't make someone else's child get better sleep, or tell the parents of another child what to do. But what you can do is to make sure your school officials, teachers, and health-care professionals know about studies like this.
"We all have possibilities we don't know about. We can do
things we don't even dream we can do." -Dale Carnegie
“In this day and age, when we’re living in a 24-hour society, sleep is the first thing that gets lost,” she said.
Then try these tested, simple remedies:
"1. Establish a regular sleep schedule and try to stick to it, even on weekends.
2. If you nap during the day, limit it to 20 or 30 minutes, preferably early in the afternoon.
3. Avoid alcohol in the evening, as it can disrupt sleep.
4. Don’t eat a big meal just before bedtime, but don’t go to bed hungry, either. Eat a light snack before bed, if needed, preferably one high in carbohydrates.
5. If you use medications that are stimulants, take them in the morning, or ask your doctor if you can switch to a nonstimulating alternative. If you use drugs that cause drowsiness, take them in the evening.
6. Get regular exercise during the day, but avoid vigorous exercise within three hours of bedtime.
7. If pressing thoughts interfere with falling asleep, write them down (keep a pad and pen next to the bed) and try to forget about them until morning.
8. If you are frequently awakened by a need to use the bathroom, cut down on how much you drink late in the day."
SPEAKING OF SLEEP--IS YOUR CHILD THE TARGET OF BULLIES?
A few of you moms and dads of Moebius children may know that this is a problem for your child. And one of the issues involved with it has to do with the sleep patterns--of the bully:
"School bullies and children who are disruptive in class are twice as likely to show signs of sleep problems compared with well-behaved children, new research shows.
The findings, based on data collected from 341 Michigan elementary school children, suggests a novel approaching to solving school bullying. Currently, most efforts to curb bullying have focused on protecting victims as well as discipline and legal actions against the bullies. The new data suggests that the problem may be better addressed, at least in part, at the source, by paying attention to some of the unique health issues associated with aggressive behavior.
The University of Michigan study, which was published in the journal Sleep Medicine, collected data from parents on each child’s sleep habits and asked both parents and teachers to assess behavioral concerns. Among the 341 children studied, about a third were identified by parents or teachers as having problems with disruptive behavior or bullying.
The researchers found that children who had behavioral issues were twice as likely to have shown symptoms of sleep-disordered breathing, like snoring or daytime sleepiness. Among children whom parents specifically identified as school bullies, the finding was similar.
The lead author, Louise O’Brien, assistant professor of sleep medicine at the University of Michigan, cautioned that the study simply shows an association between sleep problems and bad behavior and doesn’t prove that sleep problems cause bullying. That said, other research has also found an association between behavioral problems and sleep apnea, a sleep disorder characterized by snoring and gasping for breath.
“We can’t look at cause and effect, but it certainly fits with the data that’s out in the literature already,” said Dr. O’Brien. “The hypothesis is that impaired sleep does affect areas of the brain. If that’s disrupted, then emotional regulation and decision-making capabilities are impaired.”
The fact that sleepiness was so predictive of behavioral issues has implications for all children, said Dr. O’Brien, and shows the important role that sleep plays in healthy child development."
Now obviously you can't make someone else's child get better sleep, or tell the parents of another child what to do. But what you can do is to make sure your school officials, teachers, and health-care professionals know about studies like this.
"We all have possibilities we don't know about. We can do
things we don't even dream we can do." -Dale Carnegie
“In this day and age, when we’re living in a 24-hour society, sleep is the first thing that gets lost,” she said.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
BRAIN TALK
Once again we see--when it comes to healing and reducing pain, believing can be the most important thing:
"If you're sick, it doesn't hurt to believe that you're getting better - in fact, it may actually help. And when it comes to many alternative medicines, such as herbal remedies and acupuncture, belief alone may be the reason that you feel a sense of comfort and healing.
The Economist has an overview of the truth behind alternative medicine and the power of the placebo effect. A placebo is basically a sham medical treatment that isn't supposed to have any effect on health. But if a doctor tells you that a particular pill is going to make you feel happier, it may not matter if the pill is made of flour; your belief in it alone may heighten your emotions.
Harvard professor Irving Kirsch says the placebo effect works best on conditions that are emotional and subjective. A recent study, reported by WebMD, suggested that the placebo effect is at work in many headache treatments. But it can also change your perception of pain as well as your heartbeat, blood pressure, digestion and other factors that you don't control, according to Karin Meissner of Ludwig-Maximilians University in Munich, Germany.
And it appears that more involved fake procedures are more convincing than simple ones in healing your body and mind. Studies have found that people respond better to phony injections than pills, and a convincing pretend surgery is even better. Surprisingly, you might even see improvement from a placebo even if your doctor tells you that it's not real medicine, a 2010 study in PLoS ONE found.
Rigorous analyses of scientific studies have shown that much of what is known as alternative medicine is bunk, with a few exceptions such as St. John's wort for mild depression (Here's the low-down on this and other remedies for depression from Health.com). But the simple belief in a remedy carries a lot of weight, according to experts. And when you go to a practitioner of alternative medicine, you're likely to get someone who offers you more face time and greater sense of reassurance about a therapy than a regular doctor. The positive relationship you form with him or her may have a placebo effect in itself.
This is a point emphasized recently by CNNhealth.com's own mind and body columnist Dr. Charles Raison. He wrote that a patient's strong emotional connection to a doctor seems to be a big factor in recovery. A recent study showed this effect in depression, and suggested that the doctor-patient bond was perhaps even a more important determinant of recovery than whether the patient received a placebo or a real drug.
Interestingly, although we have all kinds of fancy names for alternative therapies that probably act as placebos, many doctors shy away from the idea of prescribing good old fashioned sugar pills. But in some places, that may be changing. Dr. Raison mentioned also that the German Medical Association started advising doctors to give out placebos, which may make sense given the benefits described here."
"Fear less, hope more; eat less, chew more; whine less, say
more; hate less, love more; and all good things are yours."
-Swedish Proverb
Once again we see--when it comes to healing and reducing pain, believing can be the most important thing:
"If you're sick, it doesn't hurt to believe that you're getting better - in fact, it may actually help. And when it comes to many alternative medicines, such as herbal remedies and acupuncture, belief alone may be the reason that you feel a sense of comfort and healing.
The Economist has an overview of the truth behind alternative medicine and the power of the placebo effect. A placebo is basically a sham medical treatment that isn't supposed to have any effect on health. But if a doctor tells you that a particular pill is going to make you feel happier, it may not matter if the pill is made of flour; your belief in it alone may heighten your emotions.
Harvard professor Irving Kirsch says the placebo effect works best on conditions that are emotional and subjective. A recent study, reported by WebMD, suggested that the placebo effect is at work in many headache treatments. But it can also change your perception of pain as well as your heartbeat, blood pressure, digestion and other factors that you don't control, according to Karin Meissner of Ludwig-Maximilians University in Munich, Germany.
And it appears that more involved fake procedures are more convincing than simple ones in healing your body and mind. Studies have found that people respond better to phony injections than pills, and a convincing pretend surgery is even better. Surprisingly, you might even see improvement from a placebo even if your doctor tells you that it's not real medicine, a 2010 study in PLoS ONE found.
Rigorous analyses of scientific studies have shown that much of what is known as alternative medicine is bunk, with a few exceptions such as St. John's wort for mild depression (Here's the low-down on this and other remedies for depression from Health.com). But the simple belief in a remedy carries a lot of weight, according to experts. And when you go to a practitioner of alternative medicine, you're likely to get someone who offers you more face time and greater sense of reassurance about a therapy than a regular doctor. The positive relationship you form with him or her may have a placebo effect in itself.
This is a point emphasized recently by CNNhealth.com's own mind and body columnist Dr. Charles Raison. He wrote that a patient's strong emotional connection to a doctor seems to be a big factor in recovery. A recent study showed this effect in depression, and suggested that the doctor-patient bond was perhaps even a more important determinant of recovery than whether the patient received a placebo or a real drug.
Interestingly, although we have all kinds of fancy names for alternative therapies that probably act as placebos, many doctors shy away from the idea of prescribing good old fashioned sugar pills. But in some places, that may be changing. Dr. Raison mentioned also that the German Medical Association started advising doctors to give out placebos, which may make sense given the benefits described here."
"Fear less, hope more; eat less, chew more; whine less, say
more; hate less, love more; and all good things are yours."
-Swedish Proverb
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
ARE YOU AFFLICTED WITH "TECHNO-DESPAIR"?
I hope not, but some apparently are these days:
" The world is in midst of an emotional meltdown," according to Dr. Judith Orloff.
Citing recent reports that levels of anxiety, insomnia and stress are on the rise among workers worldwide, Dr. Orloff said in a recent interview that she believes we can attribute many of these troubles to technology.
Orloff is the author of The New York Times' bestseller "Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself from Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life."
People are so overwhelmed with the variety and quantity of technology available today, says the assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at UCLA, that they're suffering from "techno-despair."
Techno-despair refers to the feelings of depression, insomnia and anxiety that stem from an ever-increasing reliance on technology.
While Dr. Orloff doesn't deny that technology offers a lot of benefits -- from enabling us to "catch up with 100 friends on Facebook" instantly to providing us real-time news and information -- it can also lead to many problems when that technology breaks down (or simply doesn't work the way we expect it to).
"We've become addicted to instant gratification," Dr. Orloff says. And it is this addiction that leaves us even more vulnerable to feelings of impatience, anxiety, nervousness or depression when we can't get what we want, right when we want it.
Not only does research increasingly suggest that reliance on technology can affect our mental health, but Dr. Orloff has also witnessed it firsthand -- especially in the workplace.
"I've seen people go into panic attacks because files disappear, and they don't know how to deal with it," she says. Fortunately, Dr. Orloff says there is an antidote to this techno-despair: patience. Patience is the key to increased satisfaction, higher productivity and lower stress at work.
Of course, patience comes in short supply these days and, like any other workplace skill, must be learned and practiced. Dr. Orloff was kind enough to provide the following tips, adapted from "Emotional Intelligence," her latest book, to help employers and employees learn patience and fight this new workplace phenomenon."
Read the whole thing--there are ways, of course, to fight techno-despair, and the article goes into those...
"If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we
aren't really living." -Gail Sheehy
I hope not, but some apparently are these days:
" The world is in midst of an emotional meltdown," according to Dr. Judith Orloff.
Citing recent reports that levels of anxiety, insomnia and stress are on the rise among workers worldwide, Dr. Orloff said in a recent interview that she believes we can attribute many of these troubles to technology.
Orloff is the author of The New York Times' bestseller "Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself from Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life."
People are so overwhelmed with the variety and quantity of technology available today, says the assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at UCLA, that they're suffering from "techno-despair."
Techno-despair refers to the feelings of depression, insomnia and anxiety that stem from an ever-increasing reliance on technology.
While Dr. Orloff doesn't deny that technology offers a lot of benefits -- from enabling us to "catch up with 100 friends on Facebook" instantly to providing us real-time news and information -- it can also lead to many problems when that technology breaks down (or simply doesn't work the way we expect it to).
"We've become addicted to instant gratification," Dr. Orloff says. And it is this addiction that leaves us even more vulnerable to feelings of impatience, anxiety, nervousness or depression when we can't get what we want, right when we want it.
Not only does research increasingly suggest that reliance on technology can affect our mental health, but Dr. Orloff has also witnessed it firsthand -- especially in the workplace.
"I've seen people go into panic attacks because files disappear, and they don't know how to deal with it," she says. Fortunately, Dr. Orloff says there is an antidote to this techno-despair: patience. Patience is the key to increased satisfaction, higher productivity and lower stress at work.
Of course, patience comes in short supply these days and, like any other workplace skill, must be learned and practiced. Dr. Orloff was kind enough to provide the following tips, adapted from "Emotional Intelligence," her latest book, to help employers and employees learn patience and fight this new workplace phenomenon."
Read the whole thing--there are ways, of course, to fight techno-despair, and the article goes into those...
"If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we
aren't really living." -Gail Sheehy
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